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1. Luis Suarez was a bit of a muppet. Hopefully we can now safely conclude that without the
ridiculous defence arguments that have been put forward by some Liverpool fans in recent weeks
since he has now apologised for his actions. 2. Suarez wasn't the only one making a poor decision
to pull his hand [.
As we all know, Harry Redknapp has not even thought about becoming England manager. Given that the
possibility of him doing just that is on all major news bulletins, OTP wondered what exactly he is
thinking about. 1. Business investments 'Arry's still not got round to investing that money that
Milan Mandaric gave him to [.
1. If Terry had his armband removed on a principle of guilty until proved innocent, how come
Harry's name wasn't out of the equation when he was charged? 2. Why did the FA not consult Capello
before removing the captaincy from John Terry? 3. If Fabio was not shamed of his opinion, why did
he [...]
A cat-themed team to celebrate last night's pitch invader at Anfield 1. Pussy Whiskerlainen 2.
Kevin Muscat 3. Anton Furdinand 4. Claws Lundekvam 5. Darren Purrse 6. Lee Cattermole 7. Dirk Cat
8. Marouane Felinei 9. Dave Kitten 10. Tabby Agbonlahor 11. Ryo Miaowchi Manager: Kenny Dogleash (a
cat's best friend)
1. OTP proposes that to avoid the controversy and time delays of getting a couple of penalties
every week, Manchester United should start all matches with a two-goal headstart. 2. Feed the Ox
and he will score. 3. Aston Villa will be looking at the fixture list this morning and hoping that
they having got [.
After Blackburn got their very own Olsson twins yesterday, we look at the best of twin team-mates
to grace English football. 1. Rafael and Fabio Da Silva Arguably English football's top-achieving
twins to date, in tag team terms. Unlike some sets of footballing twins, the talent seems to be
fairly equal between the pair.
1. There's not too many Manchester United fans moaning this morning that Darron Gibson is a
one-trick pony who only hits piledrivers from the edge of the box. 2. Manchester City goalkeeper
Joe Hart didn't realise that having a man on the post was an occupational hazard rather than a
tactical decision at Goodison Park.
1. No, Roberto Mancini, you completely misheard Arsene Wenger. He said a pizza row would help you
finish ahead of Manchester United, not Pizarro. 2. Chelsea's deal to send Belgian manboy Kevin De
Bruyen back to Genk on-loan includes a break clause that says if the 20-year-old hasn't hit puberty
by June then the deal [.
OTP understands that none of these will happen It's the last day of the transfer window, and in
truth it has been shockingly quiet. Whether that means it will all kick off tonight remains to be
seen, but here are five things that certainly won't be happening: 1. Harry Redknapp's car window
leaning As unusual [.
HMP United With the current goings on surrounding Harry Redknapp allegedly in legal trouble for
naming an account after his dog (or something along those lines), we look at five current
footballers who have served time at the pleasure of her majesty. 1. Joey Barton The twitter-loving
philosophical tearaway was sentenced to four months for [.
1. Mario Balotelli should not have been on the pitch to score the winner against Spurs. He should
have been answering questions at the local nick after his stamp on Scott Parker. 2. Everyone said
Spurs would miss Emmanuel Adebayor's height, but they can hardly have envisaged Jermain Defoe's
little legs unable to stretch far [.
Since the transfer window was brought into effect by FIFA during the 2002/03 season, football fans
throughout the UK have been glued to their televisions, computer screens and mobile phones, hoping
for news of a blockbuster signing that will transform the fortunes of their club. With the clock
ticking, cash-rich football clubs approach the looming [.
1. Paul Scholes: he does, indeed, score goals. 2. Poor old Arsenal come unstuck once again when
they have to adapt their game against one of those physical south Wales teams. 3. Bolton keeper
Adam Bogdan knows that if you can keep penalties away from Wayne Rooney's magic thatch then you're
onto a winner.
With the news that Eric Cantona wants to become the next French president, OTP turned its thoughts
to the UK and potential candidates to become the next Prime Minister. 1. Steve Kean He has proven
practical experience of tackling youth unemployment by offering jobs in Blackburn's defence. Plus,
the British public have already demonstrated that [.
1. Poor old Olympic cycling champion Chris Hoy probably had another busy Sunday explaining that
he's not a referee to irate Manchester City fans. 2. Great to see Paolo Di Canio at the centre of
the biggest shock of the weekend as Swindon saw off Wigan. He might be left disappointed by his
hopes to [.
szólj hozzá: Incredible Mark Bunn save 1. While you've all been busy stuffing your faces for a
few days, Blackburn boss Steve Kean might just have found a Bunn to save his bacon. Young keeper
Mark Bunn put in a great performance to earn a point at Liverpool. 2. It definitely wasn't a Blue
Christmas.
szólj hozzá: Incredible Mark Bunn save 1. While you've all been busy stuffing your faces for a
few days, Blackburn boss Steve Kean might just have found a Bunn to save his bacon. Young keeper
Mark Bunn put in a great performance to earn a point at Liverpool. 2. It definitely wasn't a Blue
Christmas.
Yesterday, we took Twitter by storm with our #PreemptiveChelseaStatement hashtag as we pondered
what might happen if Chelsea put out a statement to defend John Terry in a similar vein to
Liverpool's Luis Suarez statement. 1. Some of John Terry's favourite mistresses are black. 2. John
Terry once co-refereed a football match with Uriah Rennie.
Yesterday, we took Twitter by storm with our #PreemptiveChelseaStatement hashtag as we pondered
what might happen if Chelsea put out a statement to defend John Terry in a similar vein to
Liverpool's Luis Suarez statement. 1. Some of John Terry's favourite mistresses are black. 2. John
Terry once co-refereed a football match with Uriah Rennie.
1. It was a great night for goals. There were some stunning efforts from Wayne Rooney, Adam
Johnson, Demba Ba and Paul Scharner can all take a bow for starters. 2. Adam Johnson must have
thought twice before firing in his long-range effort against Stoke though. He usually gets a
rollicking from Manchester City boss [.
Showing that chunky lads can cut the mustard in the top flight 1. Grant Holt (Norwich) He's a big
unit. When he had his moustache he looked more like a rogue DC from a 1970s police drama than a top
footballer. Nonetheless, he's proved he can score in the Premier League. 2. Jonathan Walters
(Stoke) [.
1. We were desperately hoping that Steve Kean was going to sit down on the grass during the Stand
Up If You Want Kean Out chants. 2. It took seeing how good a hereto hopeless Bolton side to realise
precisely how bad Blackburn are at the minute. 3. On a night when the two Lancashire [...]
It must be near to January: the transfer rumour mill is going into overdrive. Manchester United's
midfield problems seem to be the current hot topic. Despite Michael Carrick showing a new-found
propensity for lung-busting runs into the box and scoring goals, the papers seem to think that Sir
Alex Ferguson will spend money in the [.
It must be near to January: the transfer rumour mill is going into overdrive. Manchester United's
midfield problems seem to be the current hot topic. Despite Michael Carrick showing a new-found
propensity for lung-busting runs into the box and scoring goals, the papers seem to think that Sir
Alex Ferguson will spend money in the [.
1. Wayne Rooney's hair transplant was definitely worth it. His new quiff got the ball rolling for
Manchester United in their match against QPR. 2. The QPR supporters' "Warnock for England" chants
might encourage Blackburn fans to try a change of tactics. Kean for Scotland, anyone? 3. Then
again, if Aston Villa keep putting in [.
1. At last, a Sky Sports Super Sunday match that lives up to its sub-heading billing. This really
was a Christmas Cracker. 2. Forget gold, frankincense and myrrh, it was all about Silva delivering
the goods. 3. The Arsenal crowd are not usually that noisy at home, never mind away. Samir Nasri
must be the [.
It's the time of year for awful cracker gags, so here are twenty footballers from the Premier
League that wouldn't look out of place at Christmas. As you can see, 'tis also the season for
barrel scraping: 1. Frank-incense Lampard (Chelsea) 2. Roque Santa Cruz (Man City) 3. David Eggnog
(Bolton) 4. Rory Delapland (Stoke) [.
‘Tis the time for giving. But with the Premier League and its clubs rolling on as a relentless
money-making machine, we choose the worst that club websites have to offer. To keep it fair, there
is one from each of the ‘Big Five': 1. Arsenal Fish and Chips sweets I can see the reasoning
behind [..
1. OTP is absolutely delighted with the result. After 90 minutes held captive by Ray Wilkins, we
developed Stockholm syndrome and are now fully behind the Chelsea cause. 2. A Chelsea win can
rarely have been celebrated so much by Manchester United fans. It was a good result for neutrals
too, including the aforementioned Wilkins.
The England national football team will jet off to Poland and Ukraine next summer with the hope of
achieving something their forbearers have not. Namely, winning the European Football Championship.
Yet the inhabitants of Krakow and Kiev would be hard pressed to place a cigarette paper between our
brave English Lions, with their matching suits, [.
1. Arsenal anniversary celebrations like most Arsenal matches would be a duller place without Robin
Van Persie. What a sweet goal. 2. If Martin O'Neill continues to bring that level of luck to
Sunderland, Black Cats fans will be delighted to have him around the place. 3. Just imagine what
Stoke City could [.
1. Arsenal anniversary celebrations like most Arsenal matches would be a duller place without Robin
Van Persie. What a sweet goal. 2. If Martin O'Neill continues to bring that level of luck to
Sunderland, Black Cats fans will be delighted to have him around the place. 3. Just imagine what
Stoke City could [.
Thursday becomes Fergsday 1) Thursday nights become big again. It is a certain scenario that we
will have each of the current big four (yes I know, I have replaced Liverpool with City) live on
our screen over a period of three nights midweek. 2) For those worried about the effect on
England's UEFA coefficient, [.
1. The reporter in the video above is probably feeling pleasantly vindicated this morning. 2. It's
the same old story for Manchester United: a great team to a certain point, but they always come
unstuck against Baselona. 3. A few media storylines about Manchester becoming the hotbed of elite
football in England will have to [.
The British media is a wonderful thing, responsible for bigging up any footballer that shows even
an ounce of ability at whatever level over even the shortest amount of time. If said players are
English, extra-strength arse-sore cream is complimentary at all pharmacies, followed by a voucher
for free anti-depressants when the tabloid rimming descends [.
Preston have appointed Peter Ridsdale as their new Chairman of Football which, given that the man
collects clubs in financial difficulties like Panini stickers, is a strange move. Here are five men
who have done a worse job, and may well be the only ones: 5) Ken Richardson Doncaster Hired two
gangsters to burn [.
1. Mario Balotelli responded to his latest bout of controversy with a typical shrug of the
shoulders, but he put it to great effect on this occasion. 2. Feed the Yak some Venky's chicken and
he will score. 3. The 'Kean Out' protests are always likely to sound a tad more hollow after a 4-2
[...]
1. It could definitely have been worse for England. Far, far worse. Yet the caution about our
prospects against the likes of the Ukraine and Sweden is reassuring. 2. England v France at the
European Championships just won't be the same without a vomiting Zinedine Zidane. 3. Spain, Italy
and the Republic of Ireland make [.
Following Manchester United's Carling Cup exit against Crystal Palace last night, OTP looks at five
players on display night who are treading a tightrope if they want to continue their careers at Old
Trafford. 1. Darron Gibson It looked like Fergie was going to ship Gibson out on the regular
Manchester-Sunderland service during the summer.
We usually try to add an element of humour to our top ten and top five features. However, in the
light of the weekend's events, we thought it would be just to examine some of the more heartfelt
responses to the death of a true gentleman. He was the normal Gary Speed to me. He [...]
