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Retro Football: Steve Palmer Wears Every Single Watford Squad Number In Space Of One Season, 1997/98 (Photo & Video)

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Having started the 1997/98 season on the bench, Watford defenderSteve Palmer was gradually pressed into service all over the pitch as Graham Taylor's Hornets set about hauling themselves up and out of Division Two.

Indeed, such was hisutility that Palmer began racking up an impressive collection of shirt numbers Football League squad numbering not being mandatory as it is today.

Brickstand: 18 Fabulous Football Stadiums Recreated Entirely In Lego (Photos)

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A couple of years ago, a couple of intrepid chaps decided to make it their mission to recreate all 92 English and Scottish league football grounds using nothing but Lego.

As such, Brickstand was born.

Skip forward to present day and the fellows have now knocked out a cavalcadeof different stadiums old and new, and all of them are utterly fabulous!

Shit Football Kits: Brighton & Hove Albion Pair Stripy Shirt With Matching Stripy Shorts, 1991-93 (Photo)

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By and large, Brighton & Hove Albion have been playing in blue and white stripes for well over 100 years some 113 years to be exact.

In that time, only once did theSeagulls venture to extend their famous two-tone livery south of the waistband, and now we know why.

During the giddy halcyon days of the early 1990s, Brighton bashed out a home strip that coupled a stripy shirt with matchingstripy shorts.

Arsenal: Olivier Giroud’s Incredible Scorpion Volley Against Crystal Palace Recreated In Lego (Video)

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It may have been pipped to the January 'Goal of the Month' award by Andy Carroll's exocet overhead kick, but Olivier Giroud's equally audacious scorpion volley (also against Crystal Palace) has been immortalised in an altogether more meaningful way.

Thanks to Weevil888, Giroud's partially inspired, partially fluked back-heel has taken its place in the grand pantheon of icon footballing moments re-rendered in Lego.

Shit Football Kits: Behold The Hideous ‘Bruised Purple’ Liverpool Strip That Never Was… (Photos)

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If the following photos are anything to go by, it would appear Liverpool dodged a nauseating bullet at some point around the turn of the 1990s.

With the era of 'kitchen sink' football kit design at it's gaudy peak, it looks like Adidas were planning to bestow and absolute howler of an away shirton the Reds.

Presenting: ‘Dangerous Game’, Potentially The New Worst Football Movie Ever Made (Official Trailer)

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Move over 'United Passions', because it looks like there's a new worst football movie ever in town.

What you're about to witness is the trailor for a new movie that looks so ineffably awful that Guardian reviewer Stuart Heritage assumed it must be a deliberate hoaxof some sort.

Dangerous Game stars Callum Best (reality 'star' son of George) as a Premiership footballer who dabbles in robbing shoe shops while dressed as Gary Lineker on behalf of the Russian mafia or something like that.

Liverpool

Liverpool Reveal New ‘125th Anniversary’ Home Kit – It’s Red With White Bits (Photos & Video)

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Photo: @LFC/Twitter

Liverpool have unveiled their new home kit for 2017/18 and, as always, the only variable is what colour the trim is this time.

Spoiler: it's white.

To mark the club's 125th anniversary, there's also a very slightly re-jigged badgeon the chest...

The New Balance strip features the club's commemorative crest for the first time, with the Liver bird emblem flanked by ‘1892' and ‘2017' embroidered onto the breast of the shirt – a unique element of the team's kits for the next campaign.

Shit Football Ink: Liverpool’s Alberto Moreno Adds To Baffling Collection Of Animal-Themed Body Art (Photo)

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Having made just three Premier League appearancesfor Liverpool since the turn of the year, Alberto Moreno has had plenty of time to indulge inhis extra-curricular passions.

Basically, he's been filling his skin with ridiculous tattoos of animals wearing human clothes we're talking a tiger in a bandana, a panda sporting a monocle and a bull terrier wearing boxing gloves.

Serie A

Nike Release Limited Edition Golden Tiempo Boots To Mark Francesco Totti’s 25 Years Of Service To Roma (Photos)

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To mark Francesco Totti's 25 years of dedicated service to Roma, Nike are furnishing the veteran forward with his very own pair of signature Tiempo boots.

The limited edition Nike Tiempo Totti X Roma boot is finished in a demure and understated gold hue, and will be officially unveiled by the man himself at the AS Roma store inPiazza San Lorenzo, Rome, on Wednesday.

Torino Salute Andrea Belotti’s Outstanding Debut Season By Presenting Striker With Swarovski Crystal Rooster (Photo)

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While the name might not be instantly familiar, Andrea Belotti has been enjoying a proper old-fashioned breakthrough debut season at Torino this term.

Having signed from Palermo for the earnest fee of just€7.5million back in August,the 23-year-old striker is currently level-pegging with Edin Dzekoat the top of the Serie A goalscoring charts, with 23 goals to his name so far.

Serie B: Hellas Verona Fan Given Stadium Ban After Attending Match In Swimming Trunks And Flip-Flops (Photo)

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Photo: Sport Mediaset

Proving that the Italian footballing authorities are just as joyless as their English counterparts, one Hellas Verona fan has been handed a banning order for having the gall to wear his dressing gown to a match.

The supporter attended Verona'sawaygame against Avellino on 11th February while wearing a gown, his swimming cap and trunks and a pair of flip-flops.

Shit Football Ink: Serie B Midfielder Amato Ciciretti Gets His Own Twitter Handle Tattooed On Leg (Photo)

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Photo: Gazzetta dello Sport

That man there, spread akimbo on the turf, is Amato Ciciretti once of Roma, now of Serie B side Benevento.

As of but a few days ago, Ciciretti is the proud owner of one of the absolute worst bits of body art we've ever had the misfortune of stumbling across.

‘We’re Rebranding Too!’ – Russian Minnows FC Yenisey Krasnoyarsk Mock Juventus’ Rubbish New Logo

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Ever sinceJuventus unveiled theirnew synergised, corporate-friendly club logo earlier today, fans have been quite rightly lining up to take the piss out of them for it.

However, fellow clubs are now joining the fun, with Russian second division outfit FCYenisey Krasnoyarsk proudly announcing that they too are planning to follow in Juve's footsteps by rejigging their lookfor 2017.

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Newcastle’s New 125th Anniversary Home Shirt Looks Like A Bobby Dazzler In Waiting (Photos)

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Photo via Footy Headlines

Based on the leaked images they've seen in recent weeks, Footy Headlines have gone ahead and mocked up an image of whatthey expect Newcastle United's new 125th anniversary shirt will look like.

With a strict monochrome design, narrowed stripes and a polo collar, the 2017/18 Toon jersey will hark back to a simpler, better time a time when the front of their kits weren't plastered with tacky adverts for loan sharks and leisurewear workhouses.

Dortmund: Marc Bartra Meets ‘Lone Fan’ Tracked Down On Twitter Only To Be Usurped By Her Schalke-Supporting Husband (Photos)

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"HALLO. MEIN NAME IST MARC. WIE HEIßEN SIE?"

As you may recall, Marca Bartra launched a Twitter crusade earlier in the week in a bid to track down the one lone, brave Dortmund fan spotting sitting among a sea of Schalke supporters during last Saturday's Ruhr derby.

Photo: @MarcBartra/Twitter

Bartra's quest was a success, with the Dortmund defender eventually being put in touchwith Steffi Adam-Paap so he couldinvite her on a VIP trip to the club's training ground.

Here’s Your Chance To Own An Airdrieonians Shirt Signed By Luke Skywalker (Photo)

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Photo: Airdrieonians FC

In tribute to one of their own, Airdrieonians have eschewed a shirt sponsor in favour of gracing the front of their home strip with the face of Mark Allison, the "super fan" who sadly lost his long fight againstpancreatic cancer in early 2016.

Indeed, the fan-owned Scottish League One side will play with Allison's portrait on their shirt for the remainder of the season though that's not the be all and end all of the gesture, oh no.

World Record: Argentinian Fifth-Tier Club Cram 50 Different Sponsors Onto New Home Shirt (Photos)

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Photo: Ole

A plucky team from the Argentinian fifth tier are attempting to get themselves into the record books by cramming more sponsor logos onto their shirt than any other team have ever dared to do.

Asociacion Deportiva Centenario (more commonly known as ADC) debuted their new jersey in the first game of the Federal Torneo C, taking to the field with over 50 sponsors adorning their blue and white strip.

International football

Aberdeen-Based Youth Team Lose Football In River Dee, Washes Up 1,000 Miles Away On Remote Norwegian Island (Photo)

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Photo: BBC North East Scotland, Orkney & Shetland

When a waywardshotwas sent soaringover the fenceand into the River Dee, aptly-named Scottish football club Banks o' Dee FC simply resigned themselves to losingthat football forever.

However, the Aberdeen-based Under-19s team have since been reunited with the ball after it was discovered washed up on the other side of both the North and the Norwegian Sea.

Hugo Lloris Sends Signed Jersey And Personal Message To Luxembourg ‘Keeper Who Suffered ACL Injury Against France (Photo)

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After psyching himself up for a big night out, Luxembourg goalkeeper Anthony Moris lasted just 20 minutes of his side's World Cup qualifieragainst France last weekend after rupturinghis knee ligaments in the early knockings of the match.

Indeed Moris, who plays for Belgian club side Mechelen, has since been ruled out for the next eight months, such was the severity of his injury.

‘Even Jesus Couldn’t Please Everyone’ – Portuguese Sculptor Responsible For Cristiano Ronaldo Bust Defends His Wonky Handiwork

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While it may have attracted derisionfrom nigh-on everybody who has laid their eyes upon it, the artist responsible for the wonky bronze bust of Cristiano Ronaldo unveiled outside Madeira airport yesterday has defended his work.

As soon as the cover came off, the statue was being instantly mocked the world over as disbelieving onlookers wryly questioned why Madeira were paying tribute to Niall Quinn/Raoul Moat/John-Arne Riise/Brock Lesnar/the door knockers from Labyrinth, etc, etc.

Argentina Fan Gets Tattoo Tribute To Infamous Sliding Tackle That Split Javier Mascherano’s Anus In Twain (Photo)

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Javier Mascherano was forced to relive painful memories over the weekend when he came face to face with a tattoo tribute to his goal-denying sliding tackle at the 2014 World Cup.

With the score locked at 0-0 and mere seconds of normal time left to play in Argentina's drab semi-final against the Netherlands, Mascherano made up several metres on Arjen Robben to slam the door shut in dramatic fashion.

Marcus Rashford The Poster Boy As England Launch Startlingly Dull New Away Kit (Photos)

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England have press-ganged Marcus Rashford into modelling their new away kit, which is to be worn for the first time against Germany duringWednesday night's friendly in Dortmund.

It's another largely plain, fairly dull, two-tone offering from Nike, this time in navy blue sorry, "midnight".

Doing The Man Utd Shuffle: Japanese Side FC Gifu Change Kit At Half-Time After Passing To Opposition For 45 Minutes (Video)

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Down in the Japanese second division, FC Gifu were forced to invoke the 'Manchester United shuffle' and change their kit at half-time after a colour clash disrupted their game plan.

On Sunday afternoon, Gifu,wearingtheir traditional green, were onhosting duties against Matsumoto Yamaga, who turned out in their dull grey away strip.

You Might Notice Something Incredibly Familiar About USA’s Groundbreaking New Red Kit (Photos)

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Photo: US Soccer

The USA have proudly unveiled their new kit for 2017, with both the men's and women's teams finding themselves furnished with new wares under the slogan "One nation, one team."

According to the Nike blurb, the strip features "a bold red colour palette" with a "pervasive red aesthetic" and "patriotic flares".

Antoine Griezmann To Voice Superman In French Version Of ‘The Lego Batman Movie’

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It's been announced that Antoine Griezmann will provide the voice of Superman in the French version of the upcoming'Lego Batman Movie'.

The Atletico Madrid striker broke the news of his first major screen role via his official Facebook page...

For the record, it was Channing Tatum who provided Superman's dulcet tones in original The Lego Movie.

football tat

Football Tat: Tottenham Would Like To Sell You 3D-Printed Models Of Their Players For £95 A Pop (Photos)

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Ever wished you could recreate the joyous scene above in miniature and in the privacy of your own home? Yep, we all have.

Thankfully, Tottenham have made what was once just a fool's dream into a reality by offering the fans to purchase 3D-printed models of several of their first-team players.

Football Tat: All Pies Want For Christmas Is An Unofficial Lincoln City Danny Cowley Action Figure (Photo)

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What better way to reenact Lincoln City's remarkableFA Cup run of 2016/17 than with your very own, fully-poseable Danny Cowley action figurine?

Indeed, if the following photo is anything to go by, it would appear that a (presumably unofficial) toymodel of the Imps boss is available to purchase somewhere out there in the weird yonder.

Football Tat: Man Utd’s Trip To Saint-Etienne Produces Strange, Terrifying Example Of ‘Half-And-Half’ Merchandise (Photo)

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With Manchester United in town for their Europa League last-32 second legger, Saint-Etienne's Geoffroy Guichard stadium was awash with all the usual souvenir tat you might expect on Wednesday afternoon.

Indeed, the half-and-half scarves were out in force most notably up in the VIP boxes, where the staunchly bi-partisan Mama Pogba was festooned in both green and red as she watched her sons Paul and Florentin square off against one another for the second time in quick succession.

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Modern Football Is Rubbish: Philadelphia Union Looking To Hire ‘Chief Tattoo Officer’

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When it comes to professional footballers, you don't have to go far to find a tattoo be it massive full-limb sleeves or a pistol-toting chimpanzee.

As such, Philadelphia Union are taking steps to further meld the worlds of football and body art by hiring their very own, in-house 'tattoo officer'.

Modern Football Is Rubbish: MK Dons Release ’50th Anniversary’ Shirt Despite Only Being Formed 12 Years Ago (Photo)

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Photo: @MKDonsFC/Twitter

What you're looking at there is the new, limited edition '50th anniversary' commemorative shirt, as released by the MK Dons recently.

"But wait, MK Dons are a prefab club that were only formed in 2004 as a desperate corporate cash-grab," we hear you cry in unison.

The Rest

Dressed To Shill: Brazilian Team Forgo Squad Numbers To Play With Supermarket Price Offers On Back Of Shirts (Photo)

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In the relentless quest to milk as much money out of shirt sponsors as possible, Brazilian side Flu de Feira came up with a novel way in which to shill for the local supermarket chain.

For Wednesday evening's Serie D clash against Bahia, Flu took to the pitch wearing jerseys that featured several special price offers.

For Better Or Worse, Barnet FC Properly Commit To ‘Wash & Go Takeover’ April Fools Gag (Photos & Videos)

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Kevin Nugent poses with the 'Great Barnet' shirt, complete with new crest design

You may wellhave spotted a couple of April Fool's gags floating around in footballing circles today, what with news of Arsene Wenger's shock resignation, Forest Green Rovers going fully vegan,the Chelsea-West Ham groundshare, et al.

Shit Football Kits: Man Utd’s Purported New ‘Holy Trinity’ Third Kit Is A Magnificent Grey Eyesore (Leaked Photo)

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An image of what is purported to be Manchester United's new third kit for next season has been doing the rounds today and, should it transpire to be genuine, then we can only offer fans our sincerest commiserations.

The leaked photo shows a dreary grey kit, livened up with a Corel Draw III clip-art image of the 'Holy Trinity statue' of Sir Bobby Charlton, George Best and Denis Law that stands outside Old Trafford.

Barcelona Brewery Launch New Beer Inspired By Ronald Koeman’s Golden Hair (Photo)

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Light, pale, frothy and almost entirely eyebrowless, Ronald Koeman is soon to have a beer named in his honour.

Indeed, a Catalanartisan brewery have created the "Golden Koeman" lager with which to toast the 25th anniversary of Barcelona's 1992 European Cup Final triumph, in which the Dutch defender scored the only goal of the game a thumping freekick in extra time.

Stoke City: Peter Crouch Sees 100th Premier League Goal Immortalised In ‘Extra Tall’ Mug Form (Video)

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As is fitting, Peter Crouch has seen his recent induction into the Premier League 100 Club immortalised in ceramic form.

The veteran Stoke City beanpolebrought up his top flight century against Everton last month and celebrated by dusting off The Robot.

Now, thanks to local pottery firm Foley China, Crouch also has an extra tall, nine-inch mug to markthe milestone with.

Sweden Women’s National Team To Play With Inspirational Quotes On Shirts Instead Of Their Names (Photos)

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The Sweden women's national team have decided to drop their names in favour of plastering inspirational messages across their shoulders.

The shirts are being produced for the upcoming Algarve Cup, with each player selecting their own quote of choice from fellowprominent Swedish women.

Team captain Lotta Schelin has opted for a quote pinched from the Twitter feed of politician Gudrun Schyman that reads, "Never look down on someone unless it is to help her up".

FA Cup: Sutton United Strike One-Off Sponsorship Deal With The Sun For Fifth-Round Tie Against Arsenal (Photos)

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Sutton United have announced that they'll be turning out for next Monday's FA Cup fifth-round clash against Arsenal with The Sun's logo emblazoned across their shirts.

Specifically, the National League side have struck a deal to have SunBet replace their usual sponsor, Green Go Waste, on their jerseysfor the televised game.

Official: Jordan Ayew Unveiled By Swansea, Joins Weird Squad Number Brigade (Photo)

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Thanks to the Africa Cup of Nations, it's taken Swansea a good week to get around to unveiling Jordan Ayew after sealing his signature on deadline day.

Indeed, Swanseanabbed the 25-year-old Ghana international from Aston Villain a swapsy deal that saw defenderNeil Taylor (as well as £5million incold, hard cash) go the other way.

Real Madrid: Sergio Ramos Trades Shirt With Fan In Exchange For Tray Of Pork Covered In Lard (Photo & Video)

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One incredibly lucky Real Madrid fan left Sunday evening's win over Real Sociedad with Sergio Ramos' sweaty-infused shirt after making the centre-half an offer he couldn't possibly refuse.

The fan, seen above, held a banner aloft in the stands at the Bernabeu that read, "Sergio, if you give me your shirt, I'll give you a tray of lomo en manteca.

West Ham Offer Jilted Fans Questionable ‘Deal’ On Returned Dimitri Payet Replica Shirts

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In the wakeDimitri Payet of successfully wriggling his way back to Marseille, it's fair to say that many West Hams have been left feeling a little short-changed by theFrenchman's little power play many in a quite literal sense.

Indeed, one aggrieved fan contacted chief executive Karren Brady to inquire as to whether the Hammers would be reimbursing people who had spent money onPayet replica shirts before the whole thing turned sour.