According to James Riach at Sky Sports News, Manchester City striker Roque Santa Cruz admitted that Robinho has openly admitted that he would like to play for Barcelona. Santa Cruz told Catalunya Radio,

"Of course he talks to us about it .

Click to continue reading...

A friendly between Uruguayan clubs Paysandu and Cameta turned not so friendly (see what I did there?) when defender Carlos Eduardo decided to play a little prank on the linesman. While Eduardo's Paysandu teammate was being stretchered off the pitch, he went up to the linesman and, in his own words:

"I said, 'Boy, you're very jumpy' and threw water on him, which was very hot.

Click to continue reading...

Villarreal's Offense

With the month of pink just ending maybe November will be known as� the month of yellow?� The Yellow Submarines have finally reached the surface and as a result have ended all jokes and metaphores� about them� sinking into the ocean depths.� Villarreal looked like a different team this last� weekend then they have all season.

Click to continue reading...

Seydou Keita

Well when you're on the same team as Messi, Ibrahimovic, Henry, Iniesta, Xavi, among others it is easy to be overlooked if you're name is Seydou Keita.� But last weekend the Barcelona midfielder continued to add on to his strong start for Barcelona by putting three goals into the back of the net against new boys Real Zaragoza.

Click to continue reading...

This post, which is not for the eyes of you freeloaders, discloses the Real new owner of Portsmouth FC.
Just like that...
And, for excellent measure, we have a good old moan about Richard Scudamore, Our Great Leader, as well.
And we make some jokes, a couple of which are quite funny. Click to continue reading...

Here's a good idea for MLS consideration ... all matches start simultaneously in Round 32

View full size photo »

Also file this item under: "An idea whose time has come, yo!

Click to continue reading...

From Field of Schemes:

"If I don't get a baseball deal done, I'm not going to finalize the deal with Portland," Paulson told the Beaverton city council Tuesday night. "So MLS will not come to Portland unless I do a deal for a new baseball park."

This is some great goodwill Paulson is building up in Portland. Click to continue reading...

It's one of the oldest jokes in the book, but it will keep on getting used anyway.� Referees are often the focus of a lot of negative banter including the recent incident in which Alex Ferguson called out a� ref for being� out of shape and unable to keep up with the action.� The refs (in short)� are often called horrible names most of which� I will not even get into.

Click to continue reading...

Welcome to Day 4 of O Bootcamp! During dinner last night at the Bahamas hotel, meninos had an interesting conversation about the existing "rivalry" between the orange bib wearing players and the blue shirt 'regulars' during training.

Click to continue reading...

Bom dia and welcome to Day 2 of the Brazilian Bootcamp! Both our coach and goalkeeper are enjoying a Soul Sista moment in the photo above� (Dunga : "Gurrrl, you got strength!" The Cesar : "Adriano ain't got nuthin' on me, lady.

Click to continue reading...

France are currently second in their qualifying group, four points away from top side Serbia and four points clear of third place Austria.

Patrice Evra claims that avoiding the piss-taking that would come from his United team-mates, particularly considering he laughed at all the England players after they failed to qualify for Euro 2008.

Click to continue reading...

After years of jokes and snidey comments about referees being on the Old Trafford payroll, did former referee Dermot Gallagher really have to make these comments?

"There's better ways to deal with things," said Gallagher. "If in the year 2009 you're an employee, you don't expect your employer to have a go at you in public.

Click to continue reading...

Do you remember that match? It's last season's Manchester United 0-0 Arsenal, when 'red devils' became Premiership champions in their own home. Tévez' interview for SKY Sports became famous in a matter of hours the footage where we could see him speaking English (or trying to) travelled around the world, motivating many football fans [. Click to continue reading...

This post is about my two boys, however there is a bit of a problem. Due to new British legislation I am not actually allowed to reveal the names of my children to anyone who has not had a Criminal Records Bureau check. Okay, that's not actually true (although it might soon be). Still, it seems prudent not to give their real names, not so much for security reasons, but to give them the option of denying anything I write as they grow older. Click to continue reading...

Arsenal 2-0 WBA

Strictly speaking, this is no match review. I couldn't listen to the game, I didn't hunt around for a stream in a haystack and I've not got time to watch the re-run on Arsenal.com. So seeing as, at the time of writing, all I've done is flitted in and out of Twitter, I've not got a lot of insight into the game itself.

Click to continue reading...

The other day I was watching television and saw an advertisement for something called Aciphex. As far as I can tell, it's a medication for acid reflux. I'm sure it's a fine product full of wondrous medicinal properties, but I can't help but think that the people who named it are off snickering to themselves right now. Click to continue reading...

Since Bayern Munich decided to play hardball and not sell him to Real Madrid like he wanted, Franck Ribery has resigned himself to making the most out of staying with the club. Unfortunately, new manager Luis Van Gaal is a Stiffly Stifferson, which is putting a cramp in Ribery's pranking style.

Click to continue reading...

Bom dia! Day Four of the Soldados Bootcamp and the Argentinean Spiderman welcomes you with open arms! Yes, the fans went out in full force to buy tickets yesterday. A few succeeded, the rest didn't but who cares when you have Spiderman in your queue?

Anyway, the Argentineans have been very calm about the prospect of facing their biggest football rivals so far.

Click to continue reading...

Oooh, what a way to start the season... by winning the Supercopa! Aplausos, por favor! Yet another brilliant show from Los Cules after they pulled off this convincing 3-0 win over Bilbao last night. The Messiah scored twice and your best friend Bobojan netted in the third!

Click to continue reading...

Rafa staying at Anfield and cracking injury-related jokes It turns out yesterday's Rafa has quit rumours were just that: rumours. Benitez re-affirmed his commitment to Liverpool as victory over Stoke left him in a jovial mood. The Spaniard joked that his side were the Premier League pacesetters when it came to getting stitches. Click to continue reading...

• Unfortunately Brasileirao's reigning top scorer, Adriano hasn't been living up to his name. Instead, the king of churrascarias wasted his chances during Gremio's 4-1 drubbing of Flamengo yesterday. Goals from Perea, Réver and a double from Jonas chalked up three points for the Gaúchos, who're now in a better position to secure a spot in the Libertadores.

Click to continue reading...

My friend finds the O'Briain hilarious and rates him as the best comedian on mock the week. Personally I've never found him that funny, he always speaks too quickly for me to understand what he says. But since I've now found out that is a Gooner, I will laugh at his jokes a little more often! Jokes aside, Dara's piece for the guardian was impressive as he really stuck it to the media with regards to the X years since you've won a trophy. Click to continue reading...

Memo to Frank Lampard:

We supported you during the stain crisis of 08/09. (To us, support means cracking jokes and snarking.)

We celebrated your successful non-stain exits of nightclubs and restaurants.

But this? Are those jeans... acid wash? Your delectable, gigantic thighs 'o glory deserve better than this, damn it.

Click to continue reading...

Memo to Frank Lampard:

We supported you during the stain crisis of 08/09. (To us, support means cracking jokes and snarking.)

We celebrated your successful non-stain exits of nightclubs and restaurants.

But this? Are those jeans... acid wash? Your delectable, gigantic thighs 'o glory deserve better than this, damn it.

Click to continue reading...

Two years removed from finishing with a record low point total in the Premier League and coming off an 18th place finish in the Championship last year, Derby County players have decided to give up their bonuses this season if they can't dramatically improve and finish in the top six. Says Robbie Savage:

"We have not deserved a bonus in the past two years and so have decided not to collect our bonuses this season unless we finish in the top six.

Click to continue reading...

Make whatever jokes you wish about Emile Heskey's red card not being very "Peace Cup" like, but Aston Villa are in the final where they will play Juventus on Sunday in Seville's Estadio Olimpico de la Cartuja. Aston Villa knocked...

Click to continue reading...

(skip to 1:55)

Having made his English language comedy debut with his first press conference as Chelsea manager by joking that he didn't know if John Terry would be captain of Chelsea this season, Carlo Ancelotti kept the laughs coming after his 2-0 win over Inter Milan. When asked about the situation surrounding Chelsea's interest in Andrea Pirlo, the man with the magic eyebrow said:

"There is not a situation because Pirlo now is a player of Chelsea er, of Milan.

Click to continue reading...

Jose Mourinho made his press conference debut for 2009-10 season, as always he get the headlines with his words, opinions, and jokes. One of Mourinho's priorites was reduce his squad memebers to stand on 23 to 25 squad players but his plan till now didn't work well as only (Figo, Crespo, Cruz, Jimenez, and Bolzoni) [. Click to continue reading...

"And anyone forthwith who is ignorant of the meaning of
a 'rouge' is will have their citizenship revoked and shall be
forever expelled from the land" - British North America Act.
We have a version of American football, which we call Canadian football. It involves one less 'down' and the field is bigger or something, but at the end of the day is still a bastardization of rugby and a pox on all things holy and true. Click to continue reading...

Carlo Ancelotti held his first press conference as Chelsea manager yesterday and promptly shocked every journo in attendance when the topic of Man City target John Terry came up, by saying (in his nunnery-taught English):

"I don't know if he will be the captain next season.

Click to continue reading...

As it is a day of legends, here's one for you for 4 points:

Click to continue reading...

Image via Real Madrid/Getty Images

Soz to our .4% of heterosexual male readers for the man-flesh heaviness today, but we're in one of those moods where only photos like this can help us survive the day. Everyone else, continue to stare at the photo. Haters, keep the "glad his face is covered" jokes for another day.

Click to continue reading...

Image via Real Madrid/Getty Images

Soz to our .4% of heterosexual male readers for the man-flesh heaviness today, but we're in one of those moods where only photos like this can help us survive the day. Everyone else, continue to stare at the photo. Haters, keep the "glad his face is covered" jokes for another day.

Click to continue reading...

God damn, Mike...well, rest in peace. "Billie Jean" is, has been, and always will be hood as a son of a bitch.
Keepin' it relevant: meet the finest visual juxtaposition of "Michael Jackson" and "soccer" available.
Your jokes aren't necessary.
Also, in lieu of recent events, a comparison culled from a buddy. Click to continue reading...

You know you're a laughing stock when... ... well, when comedy actors start having a joke on you, of course. Gavin and Stacey star Mathew Horne has taken to posting jokes about Newcastle on Twitter. He tweeted: "Earlier today I saw a Newcastle Utd season ticket nailed to a tree,I thought 'I'm having that! Click to continue reading...