From zero to hero. Danish International Nicklas Bendtner revealed he wasn't affected by last Saturday's missed chances against Burnley as it was just a way for his own team mates to play jokes on him. ...

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It's always good to have a little bit of Crackovia to make your day better! In this edition,� Senor Cryuff is the target of all jokes and he is excited about the upcoming Barcelona elections. We must say that Cryuff-the-actor's make-up is simply brilliant!

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Please feel free to make your own handball jokes as TH14 goes one on one with Barcelona basketballer Roger Grimau... 100 years of Old Trafford, in photos (BBC) And one photo of the debt protest outside David Gill's house (Dirty Tackle) Air Cesc, now offering complimentary apologies (Unprofessional Foul) Putting Bellamy vs Mancini in perspective (The Lonesome Death of [. Click to continue reading...

photo credit: Jason Gulledge

I� was just hanging out� prior to the Super Bowl, but I found myself thinking more� about soccer than football. I was� specifically cogitating on the� MLS and this whole fiasco regarding the� collective bargaining agreement (or lack theorof).

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Well, one possible explanation for why Portsmouth's David James and and� Everton's Marouane Fellaini wear their hair as such: someone spit in their Cheerios.

Also, bald men never have bad hair days. Just a random thought.

Another random thought: Fellaini's uni-brow never makes the news like his hair does.

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Image via Zimbio

Well, one possible explanation for why Portsmouth's David James and and� Everton's Marouane Fellaini wear their hair as such: someone spit in their Cheerios.

Also, bald men never have bad hair days. Just a random thought.

Another random thought: Fellaini's uni-brow never makes the news like his hair does.

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Over the last week or so I have been trying to think of acceptable results from the next four games. It's just a thought stuck in my head more than anything else. We have all shared some laughs over the fixture computer but the time for jokes is now over just like our FA Cup run.

Mathematically, even if we lose all four games we can reach the 82-84 point mark that AW and Fergie have been speaking about.

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Adding further evidence of the explosive bromance between Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaka is this outtakes video of Real Madrid players wishing everyone happy holidays. As you can see, these two just can't keep their hands off each other. There are a lot of jokes I can make about this, but most of them put unwanted images in my head, so I'm just going to stop right here.

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(For those who struggle with object identification.) Jokes at the ready... There should be something about needing another to make a pair of boobs on the pitch. (See: Cassano, Antonio.)

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Being born in the United Kingdom and having lived in the United States for more than 25 years, I've dealt with many years of jokes and abuse from Americans who tell me point blank what they think of Brits. After years of experience, I've heard so many stereotypes that Americans have about Brits that I thought I'd share them with you.

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As the falling snow, Andy Carroll jokes and over welling inter-club good will might have told you, it's� reaching the end of the year. Soon, I'll begin the final voting on who is Barnsley FC's Player of the Decade. However, not quite yet, and there is still plenty of time to have your vote on which [. Click to continue reading...

Starting at left back for Arsenal today is an 18-year-old by the name of Tom Cruise. Haha, yes, there's a very famous worshiper of L. Ron Hubbard's imagination with that same name. We get it. But Arsene Wenger is having none of it:

"For me there is only one Tom Cruise – and it is the one who plays for Arsenal!

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There's not a lot of news about at the moment so i thought i'd have a look for some good anti-Chelsea jokes. I found this lot at JustJokesOnline.com......... Some of them are old, but then the old'uns are always the good'uns! Enjoy! How do you define 144 Chelsea fans A: Gross Stupidity Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange? Click to continue reading...

Even though David Beckham's hair is embarrassing us, we still believe. Oh, yes we believe. Image via Reuters

Were you watching? For those in a non-footy environment, we offer our condolences. Trying to explain to randoms why you are excited, flushed and hitting refresh on your computer every 40 nanoseconds can be stressful.

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Even though David Beckham's hair is embarrassing us, we still believe. Oh, yes we believe. Image via Reuters

Were you watching? For those in a non-footy environment, we offer our condolences. Trying to explain to randoms why you are excited, flushed and hitting refresh on your computer every 40 nanoseconds can be stressful.

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Kickin' The Cup!

Gooners..If you liked the First Part of the series of taunts directed at the Spuds, well, this one is all the more direct, all the more humiliating and all the more hilarious. So sit back and enjoy another set of laugh-riots..

An 11Gunners treat ahead of the North-West London derby.

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The Russian Rack

Gooners, its that time of the year, we face off with our trans-city rivals, to square-off in the North-West London derby. You guessed it, its time for the ultimate show down. Its 'Arsenal Vs Chelsea' and its Next..

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According to James Riach at Sky Sports News, Manchester City striker Roque Santa Cruz admitted that Robinho has openly admitted that he would like to play for Barcelona. Santa Cruz told Catalunya Radio,

"Of course he talks to us about it .

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A friendly between Uruguayan clubs Paysandu and Cameta turned not so friendly (see what I did there?) when defender Carlos Eduardo decided to play a little prank on the linesman. While Eduardo's Paysandu teammate was being stretchered off the pitch, he went up to the linesman and, in his own words:

"I said, 'Boy, you're very jumpy' and threw water on him, which was very hot.

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Villarreal's Offense

With the month of pink just ending maybe November will be known as� the month of yellow?� The Yellow Submarines have finally reached the surface and as a result have ended all jokes and metaphores� about them� sinking into the ocean depths.� Villarreal looked like a different team this last� weekend then they have all season.

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Seydou Keita

Well when you're on the same team as Messi, Ibrahimovic, Henry, Iniesta, Xavi, among others it is easy to be overlooked if you're name is Seydou Keita.� But last weekend the Barcelona midfielder continued to add on to his strong start for Barcelona by putting three goals into the back of the net against new boys Real Zaragoza.

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This post, which is not for the eyes of you freeloaders, discloses the Real new owner of Portsmouth FC.
Just like that...
And, for excellent measure, we have a good old moan about Richard Scudamore, Our Great Leader, as well.
And we make some jokes, a couple of which are quite funny. Click to continue reading...

Here's a good idea for MLS consideration ... all matches start simultaneously in Round 32

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Also file this item under: "An idea whose time has come, yo!

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From Field of Schemes:

"If I don't get a baseball deal done, I'm not going to finalize the deal with Portland," Paulson told the Beaverton city council Tuesday night. "So MLS will not come to Portland unless I do a deal for a new baseball park."

This is some great goodwill Paulson is building up in Portland. Click to continue reading...

It's one of the oldest jokes in the book, but it will keep on getting used anyway.� Referees are often the focus of a lot of negative banter including the recent incident in which Alex Ferguson called out a� ref for being� out of shape and unable to keep up with the action.� The refs (in short)� are often called horrible names most of which� I will not even get into.

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Welcome to Day 4 of O Bootcamp! During dinner last night at the Bahamas hotel, meninos had an interesting conversation about the existing "rivalry" between the orange bib wearing players and the blue shirt 'regulars' during training.

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Bom dia and welcome to Day 2 of the Brazilian Bootcamp! Both our coach and goalkeeper are enjoying a Soul Sista moment in the photo above� (Dunga : "Gurrrl, you got strength!" The Cesar : "Adriano ain't got nuthin' on me, lady.

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France are currently second in their qualifying group, four points away from top side Serbia and four points clear of third place Austria.

Patrice Evra claims that avoiding the piss-taking that would come from his United team-mates, particularly considering he laughed at all the England players after they failed to qualify for Euro 2008.

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After years of jokes and snidey comments about referees being on the Old Trafford payroll, did former referee Dermot Gallagher really have to make these comments?

"There's better ways to deal with things," said Gallagher. "If in the year 2009 you're an employee, you don't expect your employer to have a go at you in public.

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Do you remember that match? It's last season's Manchester United 0-0 Arsenal, when 'red devils' became Premiership champions in their own home. Tévez' interview for SKY Sports became famous in a matter of hours the footage where we could see him speaking English (or trying to) travelled around the world, motivating many football fans [. Click to continue reading...

This post is about my two boys, however there is a bit of a problem. Due to new British legislation I am not actually allowed to reveal the names of my children to anyone who has not had a Criminal Records Bureau check. Okay, that's not actually true (although it might soon be). Still, it seems prudent not to give their real names, not so much for security reasons, but to give them the option of denying anything I write as they grow older. Click to continue reading...

Arsenal 2-0 WBA

Strictly speaking, this is no match review. I couldn't listen to the game, I didn't hunt around for a stream in a haystack and I've not got time to watch the re-run on Arsenal.com. So seeing as, at the time of writing, all I've done is flitted in and out of Twitter, I've not got a lot of insight into the game itself.

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The other day I was watching television and saw an advertisement for something called Aciphex. As far as I can tell, it's a medication for acid reflux. I'm sure it's a fine product full of wondrous medicinal properties, but I can't help but think that the people who named it are off snickering to themselves right now. Click to continue reading...

Since Bayern Munich decided to play hardball and not sell him to Real Madrid like he wanted, Franck Ribery has resigned himself to making the most out of staying with the club. Unfortunately, new manager Luis Van Gaal is a Stiffly Stifferson, which is putting a cramp in Ribery's pranking style.

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Bom dia! Day Four of the Soldados Bootcamp and the Argentinean Spiderman welcomes you with open arms! Yes, the fans went out in full force to buy tickets yesterday. A few succeeded, the rest didn't but who cares when you have Spiderman in your queue?

Anyway, the Argentineans have been very calm about the prospect of facing their biggest football rivals so far.

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Oooh, what a way to start the season... by winning the Supercopa! Aplausos, por favor! Yet another brilliant show from Los Cules after they pulled off this convincing 3-0 win over Bilbao last night. The Messiah scored twice and your best friend Bobojan netted in the third!

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Rafa staying at Anfield and cracking injury-related jokes It turns out yesterday's Rafa has quit rumours were just that: rumours. Benitez re-affirmed his commitment to Liverpool as victory over Stoke left him in a jovial mood. The Spaniard joked that his side were the Premier League pacesetters when it came to getting stitches. Click to continue reading...

• Unfortunately Brasileirao's reigning top scorer, Adriano hasn't been living up to his name. Instead, the king of churrascarias wasted his chances during Gremio's 4-1 drubbing of Flamengo yesterday. Goals from Perea, Réver and a double from Jonas chalked up three points for the Gaúchos, who're now in a better position to secure a spot in the Libertadores.

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My friend finds the O'Briain hilarious and rates him as the best comedian on mock the week. Personally I've never found him that funny, he always speaks too quickly for me to understand what he says. But since I've now found out that is a Gooner, I will laugh at his jokes a little more often! Jokes aside, Dara's piece for the guardian was impressive as he really stuck it to the media with regards to the X years since you've won a trophy. Click to continue reading...

Memo to Frank Lampard:

We supported you during the stain crisis of 08/09. (To us, support means cracking jokes and snarking.)

We celebrated your successful non-stain exits of nightclubs and restaurants.

But this? Are those jeans... acid wash? Your delectable, gigantic thighs 'o glory deserve better than this, damn it.

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