We've all made jokes about Sergio Busquets' habit of falling down and clutching his face for no good reason, but this time it was his knee and he wasn't faking.

A mere seven minutes after entering Barcelona's 2-1 win over Real Sociedad in the 76th minute, Busquets was accidentally stepped on by Carlos Martinez, opening up a deep gash under his right knee.

I 7-1 to be a Blackburn fan? No, it doesn't quite work, does it. One day we'll get to the promised land of an 8 goal victory, and all the wonderful pun-based jokes this allows. For today, I think 7 will do. My thoughts as follows:
* We started brightly, and scored after only 2 minutes.

Fans of the New York Yankees have made Jim Hendry jokes for years. The longtime general manager of the Chicago Cubs could never replicate the success of the Yankees. But now, the joke is on the Yankees fans because the team has hired Hendry to be an assistant general manager.

According to reports, Hendry was given a multi-year contract and his job duties will mostly deal with aiding Brian Cashman, the GM of the Yankees.

By Chris Wright

"You want me to wear a what now?"

The jokes kind of write themselves here, but Manchester City have announced that bench-bound midfielder Owen Hargreaves is to have a camera strapped to him 'Sub Cam' as they've called it during their next few home Premier League games, with the pitchside footage then broadcast live on the club's official Youtube channel, with edited highlights available on the following Monday.

Mirror: Tweet my Goal! The best Twitter jokes from Man City 2-3 Man United

Manchester United were 3-0 up by half time, saw City's skipper Vincent Kompany sent off in the 12th minute, and then survived a second half fight back from the home side to win 3-2 in the FA Cup third round tie at The Etihad on Sunday.

Why are smiling when there's so much to be miserable about, Coyle? Another gem we missed over the holidays. Mick McCarthy only smiles at Mick McCarthy's jokes (and occasionally at a bit of smut).

Mirror: 3PM Extra: Vinnie Jones is Staying Alive, fan loses fight with plastic chair and Brazilian bum rush

Presenting quality football videos from the interweb, daily at 3pm. Here's today's collection: 1) We like people who can laugh at themselves. After all, we laugh at our own jokes all the time.

• Kop That: Why Liverpool chiefs should forget about appealing the Suarez ruling http://t.co/Vv6yo8Ak 23:25:19, 2012-01-01
• Kop That: Liverpool target Bent is going nowhere, insists McLeish http://t.co/IoBMJs6u 22:54:48, 2012-01-01
• Kop That: Darren Bent wanted by Liverpool http://t.

Tweet my Goal! The best Twitter jokes from Fulham 2-1 Arsenal and Wolves 1-2 Chelsea

Arsenal lost it late. Chelsea won it late. We had a ball on our @MirrorFootball Twitter feed . Read the reports here: Fulham 2-1 Arsenal: Zamora snatches glory Wolves 1-2 Chelsea: Late Lamps rescues AVB And then review the best of your jokes.

Loudest fans in the Premier League, Man United jokes and Chelsea's 'naiive' move for Torres

Continuing our look back at the most popular stories on talkSPORT.co.uk in 2011, today it's May's finest content!

View the full story here: Talksport

A news article on 2011-12-26 08:02:14 from: Talksport

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

It's Boxing Day in the United Kingdom. My gift to the loyal, hardy, salt-of-the-earth readers of this little blog? A picture of Mario Balotelli. Think that should suffice, considering it's a holiday period and I really don't feel like sitting in front of my keyboard and trying to form sentences or come up with lame, strained egg nog jokes.

Why Liverpool must draw clean line under Suarez row or risk soiling the club's name

Around now it's customary to hand out jokey awards based on events in the past footballing year. But after such a year, and particularly such an ending, jokes are out. For weeks the game has struggled to come to terms with Gary Speed hanging himself.

Ahead of kick-off on Wednesday I was nervous but I was still entirely confident we would progress to the Champions League Round of 16. I would have preferred not to endure a nervy draw and fancied us to get a win, but it was neither here nor there. Whilst there was some talk of the game falling on the 6th anniversary of the last time we had failed to get out of the group, it didn't feel within the realms of reality that history could repeat itself.

Riise: I share jokes with Bellamy over golf club incident

"I came up against him earlier this month when Norway played Wales. We were winding each other up about it all," says the Fulham defender

View the full story here: The Mirror

A news article on 2011-12-03 22:56:19 from: The Mirror

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Bom dia amigos! And what do we have here today? Escândalo from the mouth of Brazil's most-loved grandpa, Pele, of course! The legend, the "best player in the last century", and the only man capable of talking about himself for a total of 2 hours and 40 minutes, has done it again!

Liverpool's Martin Kelly jokes about bet with Jay Spearing after scoring against Chelsea in League Cup win

Reds defender Tweets about competition between him and the young midfielder over who would score their first senior goal for the club

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-11-29 23:44:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Liverpool's Martin Kelly jokes about bet with Jay Spearing after scoring against Chelsea in League Cup win

Reds defender Tweets about competition between him and the young midfielder over who would score their first senior goal for the club

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-11-29 23:44:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Liverpool's Martin Kelly jokes about bet with Jay Spearing after scoring against Chelsea in League Cup win

Reds defender Tweets about competition between him and the young midfielder over who would score their first senior goal for the club

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-11-29 23:44:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Liverpool's Martin Kelly jokes about bet with Jay Spearing after scoring against Chelsea in League Cup win

Reds defender Tweets about competition between him and the young midfielder over who would score their first senior goal for the club

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-11-29 23:44:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Liverpool's Martin Kelly jokes about bet with Jay Spearing after scoring against Chelsea in League Cup win

Reds defender Tweets about competition between him and the young midfielder over who would score their first senior goal for the club

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-11-29 23:44:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Liverpool's Martin Kelly jokes about bet with Jay Spearing after scoring against Chelsea in League Cup win

Reds defender Tweets about competition between him and the young midfielder over who would score their first senior goal for the club

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-11-29 23:44:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Liverpool's Martin Kelly jokes about bet with Jay Spearing after scoring against Chelsea in League Cup win

Reds defender Tweets about competition between him and the young midfielder over who would score their first senior goal for the club

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-11-29 23:44:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Liverpool's Martin Kelly jokes about bet with Jay Spearing after scoring against Chelsea in League Cup win

Reds defender Tweets about competition between him and the young midfielder over who would score their first senior goal for the club

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-11-29 23:44:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Liverpool's Martin Kelly jokes about bet with Jay Spearing after scoring against Chelsea in League Cup win

Reds defender Tweets about competition between him and the young midfielder over who would score their first senior goal for the club

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-11-29 23:44:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Liverpool's Martin Kelly jokes about bet with Jay Spearing after scoring against Chelsea in League Cup win

Reds defender Tweets about competition between him and the young midfielder over who would score their first senior goal for the club

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-11-29 23:44:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Liverpool's Martin Kelly jokes about bet with Jay Spearing after scoring against Chelsea in League Cup win

Reds defender Tweets about competition between him and the young midfielder over who would score their first senior goal for the club

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-11-29 23:44:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

This is how I like to think Fernando Torres took the news from Andre Villas-Boas on Saturday afternoon that he was to start a fourth consecutive match from the bench.

Just replace Charlie Murphy with Nando and we have ourselves a dead-on reenactment. Jokes aside, it is highly interesting that Torres has enjoyed a plush seat rather than featuring prominently over the past three weeks.

Language, David David Beckham has been the butt of a lot of jokes throughout his career for his inability to speak English. Nowadays, he's a cultured man of the world who has lived in Spain and Italy, but we still think he would struggle to greet his new fans if he signs for Mexican outfit [...]

Here's the glorified-public access profile on Detroit-bred Molde striker Josh Gatt that we've all been asking for. All jokes aside, I know precious little about this kid other than what I read in random yet seemingly regular tweets when scores so I, for one, could use the education.
Also please try to make it to the end of this clip if you can because the sign off is absolutely classic.

Simon Bird's Premier League previews and predictions (Week 11)

Saturday, November 5 (all kick-offs 3pm unless stated)Manchester United vs SunderlandThe nation well, almost all of the nation put aside tribal loyalties to marvel at Sir Alex Ferguson's 25 years in charge at Manchester United this week.

This landed in my inbox last night:

Management Update from the New York Cosmos

November 2, 2011 (New York, NY) - There has been a buyout at The New York Cosmos and management changes have taken place in various areas of our organization.

We're back with plenty of reaction to, and jokes about, John Terry's misadventures in Chelsea's 5-3 defeat at Stamford Bridge by Arsenal. We cover all the action from around the continent and have fun with talk of mascot abuse, a drunken referee and Brazilian Ronaldo's thoughts of pre-match coitus.

Fergie proves he does have a sense of humour plus more bad luck for Sven

Proof emerges that Sir Alex Ferguson does have a sense of humour after all. Last Sunday night, a few hours after Manchester United's humiliating 6-1 home defeat to City, Fergie hosted a pre-arranged thank you dinner for non-playing club staff at an Alderley Edge hotel to mark his 25th anniversary at Old Trafford.

Warning: Man United fans who don't want to know the score please look away now! :-P
After what has been surely already been nothing short of an incredible week in the life of all the Manchester City fans out there following your superb 1-6 win at Old Trafford on Sunday, as we move towards day 3 of the working week you may now sadly be running short of new and exciting ways of ribbing all your United supporting work colleagues - now that all the viral email jokes have already done the rounds.

Fernando was a guest on Spanish TV Show 'El Hormiguero' a month or so ago and you can enjoy more of his clarinet work, a brief foray into cookery and his views on the importance of scoring (!) here. Images via bellazon.

Now Fernando, would you prefer we went through our repertoire of horn jokes or dusted off the old 'blowing gags' folder to put you off?

Dark these mornings, eh?

Still, at least there's some light at the end of the tunnel, if not much in the way of news yet. The final round of internationals take place tonight and once they're out of the way they we can concentrate on the real football again. Of course, the Premier League being what it is, they've scheduled our game for Sunday so we've an extra day to wait but I guess there's not much we can do about that.

Sent-off? You bet England star Wayne Rooney turned a thousand jokes into reality by getting sent-off in last night's Euro 2012 qualifier against Montenegro. Following his dad's arrest over an alleged betting scam that centred on a player deliberately deliberately getting sent-off. Of all the matches not to lose your head and get a red [.

Enough jokes, enough excuses, today's is a must win game as we desperately need to get out of the so-called "relegation zone". As always, please find below links to websites providing streaming services for today's game. ...

By Alan Duffy

Soccer Saturday's very own vidiprinter, the one which spews out all the goals and cards from the day's games as Jeff Stelling and his panel of ill-prepared pundits indulge in cringeworthy in-jokes and back-slapping, is, like Paul Merson and co.

File this one under the section of things that the Seattle Sounders front office does well.

This clever set of videos are to help get fans in Seattle to renew their season tickets for another season. Seriously. All jokes aside with these videos but this is great. You don't see one other clubs in the league doing anything remotely close to this.