Retro Classic: Football Italia Intro Sees Paul Gascoigne And James Richardson Combine To Create Comedy Gold, 1995 (Video)

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Paul Gascoigne explains his curious headwear to Lazio coach Zdenek Zeman, 1995

Yesterday marked the 25th anniversary of the day that Gazzetta Football Italia aired on Channel 4 for the very first time.

We've spoken of our undying love for Football Italia before here on Pies, helping as it did to introduce a wide-eyed young fan to a world of football beyond watching Wolves grind out dull, mud-specked draws with Leicester City on Central Match Live every sodding weekend.

Danny Rose Sending Off Against City Was a Joke

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Goal Touré Tottenham 0-2 Manchester City 29-01-2014 Highlights by BeinGoal

Danny rose's sending off against Manchester City for an brilliantly timed tackle with which he got the ball was an absolute joke however kudo's to Yya Toure who stepped up to put the spot-kick away to give Manchester City a 2-0 lead at White Hart Lane.

Video: Tromso fan talks about wearing an Arsenal shirt at Spurs

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The Tromso fan who donned an Arsenal shirt at White Hart Lane during her side's Europa League defeat to Tottenham has been talking about becoming an internet sensation. Lena Mari Edvardsen said she is also a Gunners supporter and took her shirt to the match so that she could restore a bit of pride if, [.

Ex-Aston Villa and Man Utd keeper Mark Bosnich explains Nazi salute at Spurs fans

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Mark Bosnich has been explaining why he made a Nazi salute towards Spurs fans during his Aston Villa days and he reckons the sitcom Fawlty Towers is to blame. Speaking at a charity event, he said he was mimicking the actions of John Cleese's character Basil Fawlty, and did not realise that the prank [.

Jamaica plan to beat USA by getting them high on marijuana first

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Jamaica have unveiled a cunning plan to beat the USA in their forthcoming World Cup qualifier: get their opponents high on cannabis before kick-off. Midfielder Dane Richards let slip about the tactics his team will be deploying on Friday. He told "They say when they come there, they smell marijuana.

Portland Timbers v LA Galaxy – A match made in the Premier League

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It reads like a crap joke: An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman took to the field, and all scored doubles. I wouldn't normally advocate watching 11 minutes worth of highlights from an MLS game, but it's Sunday morning and there's not much football on at the moment, so get yourself a cup of tea [.

Portland Timbers v LA Galaxy – A match made in the Premier League

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It reads like a crap joke: An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman took to the field, and all scored doubles. I wouldn't normally advocate watching 11 minutes worth of highlights from an MLS game, but it's Sunday morning and there's not much football on at the moment, so get yourself a cup of tea [.

English Premier League

Former Newcastle boss Souness blasts Magpies’ “joke” defending

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Graeme Souness described Newcastle’s defending for Huddersfield’s winner on Sunday as a “joke”.

The former Newcastle, Liverpool and Blackburn boss didn’t hold back on Sky Sports as the Magpies slipped to their second Premier League defeat of the season.

Aaron Mooy’s second-half strike gave Huddersfield all three points at the John Smith’s Stadium, guiding the ball home after a fine one-two on the edge of the box.

German Heat

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Sprockets joke or something. If you've followed along with me on twitter for this summer, which you most certainly should do by now since it's the most fun and hijinks (and random GIF links) you can humanely have with 140 characters or less, then you've no doubt noticed my regression into using professional wrestling euphemisms, brother.


Photos: Spurs train ahead of Tromso clash

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Birthday boy, @LewisHoltby, receives an embrace from @sandroraniere! Surely, there's no better birthday gift Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) September 18, 2013 Tottenham's players have been training ahead of their Europa League clash against Tromso. In training today, @YounsKabs4 shares a joke with Erik Lamela #THFC pic.

Photos: Tottenham pose for a team photo

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Smile for the camera! @sandroraniere @friedel_b and Hugo during today's team photo-shoot #THFC Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) September 13, 2013 Enjoying the group photo Andre, @YounsKabs4 and @Aaron7Lennon share a joke in the photo-shoot #THFC Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) September 13, 2013 Erik Lamela and @kylewalker2 get ready for their close-ups during [.

Photo: Luis Suarez SMILING in Liverpool training!

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A smiling Luis Suarez in training at Melwood just now: #LFC Liverpool FC (@LFC) August 22, 2013 Luis Suarez has been photographed smiling while training with Liverpool. The image was so unexpected that even the club's official Twitter account felt obliged to draw attention to it.

Picture: Paulinho and Nacer Chadli in their first Spurs training sessions

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First day at the Training Centre for our two summer signings. #THFC Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) July 31, 2013 Tottenham signings Paulinho and Nacer Chadli took part in their first training sessions at Spurs Lodge today. The session was overshadowed some what by the news that Gareth Bale had asked to leave Spurs, but [.


Arsenal midfielder Mathieu Flamini says he gets better with age ‘like wine’

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Mathieu Flamini says he has got better with age, "like a wine". Full story, with video, here: (@Arsenal) September 10, 2013 Mathieu Flamini says he's getting better with age like a fine wine following his return to Arsenal. The summer signing has been getting back into the Gunners' training regime [.

Howard Webb swaps shirts after being bitten by midges (Newcastle vs Arsenal)

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Referee Howard Webb and his team of officials swapped shirts at half-time during yesterday's match between Newcastle and Arsenal amid fears that their yellow jerseys were irresistible to Tyneside's insect life. After being bitten by midges in the first-half, Webb and his assistants swapped to green shirts at half-time.

Arsenal prepare to sell Vermaelen

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Don't worry, it is just my little joke. Arsenal have named Thomas Vermaelen as their new captain, after Robber van Persie forced his way out of the Emirates this summer. I do not really think that we will be waving goodbye to another captain next summer( please God). Mikel Arteta has been rewarded for his [.

Milan transfer update: Mexes out, Bendtner in?

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He may not be the best defender. But, he has some experience, is a France international and, on some days, he can be rather good. Yet, reports are circulating that Milan could be ready to ship out Philippe Mexes to Arsenal in return for Nicolas Bendtner. It is not a joke; apparently the club thinks [.

Paltry Juventus offer just makes Van Persie decision easier

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Robin van Persie is staying at Arsenal by BA If the papers are to be believed then Robin van Persie will be playing football in an Arsenal shirt again next season. Apparently Juventus have offered the Gunners a paltry £8 million for the Dutch striker. Is this a joke or a typing error? It certainly [.


Italy manager apologizes for Mario Balotelli ‘joke’ while team is ‘forbidden’ from leaving their hotel

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According to Italy manager Cesare Prandelli, his side has been kept inside their hotel in Salvador, Brazil amidst security concerns over the ongoing protests throughout the country. And it seems the confinement has blurred Prandelli's judgement as he ended up apologizing for a poor attempt at a "joke" about the team's leading scorer, Mario Balotelli, who was allowed out of the hotel to do charity work with local children in need.

Spain kill Italy and win Euro 2012

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This Spanish squad is superb. 4 0 against Italy is no joke. You only see football like this when Barca is playing.

Spain made history in magical fashion as they outclassed Italy and claimed a successive European crown to add to their 2010 World Cup triumph.

Vicente del Bosque's side staged a compelling claim to be the greatest international side of all time as the Euro 2012 final was transformed into an exhibition with Italy who performed creditably for long periods passed brutally into submission.

Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba jokes that watching England is bad for his health

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Fabrice Muamba, who suffered an on-pitch cardiac arrest last season, joked that he needed to be hooked up to his cardiac monitoring device before England's penalty shootout defeat to Italy last night. The Bolton midfielder was clearly feeling the tension as much as the rest of us, but lightened the mood with a joke about [.

Manchester City

GIF It: Jason Puncheon’s bum-wiping celebration (Southampton 3-1 Manchester City)

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Southampton's Jason Puncheon showed he can take a joke after his recent mid-match toilet break. The Saints star's extended convenience break against Everton caused much hilarity and a few spin-off chants. But Puncheon answered back with a toilet-inspired goal celebration during the victory over Manchester City on Saturday.

Rolando Bianchi’s Great Sorrow

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Rolando Bianchi, striker for Torino, ex of Manchester City B.O. (Before Oil), missed a penalty on the weekend. He scored later anyway and Torino thumped tiny little Pescara, which allowed him to offer up this as an apology:

"Thank you to the fans for your support," wrote Bianchi on his Twitter page.


New Blackburn boss Henning Boss calls himself mad and says he has no credibility in Back To The Future kind of way

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Henning Berg is set to be unveiled as the new manager of Blackburn Rovers tomorrow morning. The Norwegian's decision to return to his former club to take over the lead role in the Ewood Park pantomime might seem a little crazy to some. Indeed, just a few months ago it seemed that way to Berg. [...]

Paddy Kenny In Trouble For Sending ‘Abusive’ 3am Text Messages To QPR Chairman Tony Fernandes

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By Chris Wright

'Fernandes ur a bum faced git!' *Save as draft*

QPR have written a formal complaint to Leeds United demanding an apology after 'keeper Paddy Kenny allegedly sent 'abusive' text messages to QPR technical director Mike Rigg and chairman Tony Fernandes or 'doing a Kevin Pietersen' as it's known in the trade.

AC Milan

Milan transfer update: Bojan and Niang are Milan players, Kaka deal is off

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Milan have given up on Kaka. For those who dreamt of his return, the dream is over. If Milan's transfer campaign this summer was not a joke already, the failure to sign Kaka ensures it. The Brazilian was unwanted by Real Madrid, did not have many other genuine suitors and he was the club's number [..

Juventus Three Stars Causing Controversy In Italy

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The Serie A champions have began pre-season training and on the Juventus shirt, right below the teams logo are the words "30 on the pitch" in place of usual stars that indicate how many trophies a team has won.

The 30 and the three stars is basically a taunt aimed at the FIGC, as Juventus President Andrea Agnelli admitted:

"We Juventini feel that all 30 titles we have won are ours," he explained.

The Rest

For Better Or Worse, Barnet FC Properly Commit To ‘Wash & Go Takeover’ April Fools Gag (Photos & Videos)

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Kevin Nugent poses with the 'Great Barnet' shirt, complete with new crest design

You may wellhave spotted a couple of April Fool's gags floating around in footballing circles today, what with news of Arsene Wenger's shock resignation, Forest Green Rovers going fully vegan,the Chelsea-West Ham groundshare, et al.

European rule

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Brazil being destroyed 1-7 was beyond everything that could be imagined could happen to Brazil. It is so beyond belief one cannot help but think of some kind of match fixing...But ok, this was without a doubt the poorest Brazil side in history. Some players today were an utter disgrace for the proud yellow shirt; Fred continued to be a joke; Marcelo did not put one foot right; David Luiz must be

QPR defender Stephane Mbia tweets Joey Barton to ask if they can swap clubs again

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QPR have launched an internal investigation after Stephane Mbia took to Twitter to begin talks about a move away from the club. Mbia tweeted Joey Barton who moved to Marseille on loan as part of the deal that saw Mbia move to Loftus Road asking if they could swap back. He tweeted: "Do [...]

Dynamo v RSL: Examining the After-math

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So, that match really happened. I had thought there might be some wild chance it was all just a very odd dream, or perhaps nightmare. After all, we were subjected to the horrors of MLS scheduling which pitted an absolutely drained roster for the Houston Dynamo thanks to International Call-Ups and some kind of flu-like virus making it's rounds amongst the teams in the MIDDLE of the bloody week.

Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme

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"That's all well and good for sheep, but what are we to do?" -- Rod (maybe Todd) Flanders, "Homer Loves Flanders" A nice title for a preview of Friday's CONCACAF World Cup qualifier between the United States and Jamaica would have been, "Hooray, Soccer ... that actually counts" which probably would have been too long, so I'll use the Red Stripe joke here and get it out of the way so we can

Falcao beats Chelsea for UEFA Super Cup, Ashley Cole apologizes

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Radamel Falcao picked up where he left off in the Europa League last season to win and won the UEFA Super Cup for Atletico Madrid, scoring a first-half hat trick in their 4-1 win over Chelsea. It was an abysmal performance from the Champions League winners, but Falcao -- who has led the Europa League in scoring the last two seasons in a row -- once again showed that he can beat any team all by himself.

Deadline Day: Berbatov signs

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Filed under: General

Sounders Romp In LA, Beating Chivas USA 6-2

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Sometimes a meme becomes so funny it can only live as a joke. Anyone using the "Fredy Montero is lazy" is in fact themselves so lazy they are a joke. Sure, Montero wasn't the only reason the Seattle Sounders matched their best ever result in MLS with a 6-2 win over Chivas USA. Still a hatrick is pretty awesome in any circumstances.

23 Goals and 14 Assists! This Player is Legit!

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What a joke!

Don't ever cite to me a player's goals and assists ... as if that were proof of player quality.

Do that, and you expose just how much of a newbie you are!

  • What was the quality of their goals?
  • What was the quality of their assists?
  • How many goals should the player have for instance, what goals has he whiffed?

Oh the Irony!: Nike's Gold Diggers

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Can Nike come up with an Olympic motto worse than "Greatness has been found?"

YES! Of course, this shirt is only sold in women's sizes.

Nike explains itself:
"Nike has consistently supported female athletes and the position they enjoy as positive role models.

Recap: Portland Timbers and Aston Villa put on a good show

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Quick Recap

Aston Villa scored late in the first half, but the Portland Timbers young guns didn't give up. Through hard work and effort the Timbers twice came back from one-goal deficits to tie the game on goals from Sebastian Rincon and Rodney Wallace. In the obligatory shoot out all but Bright Dike scored, and the Timbers lost 2-2 (5-4).

The New FCD Midfield

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I got quite the chuckle this morning when I realized the FCD PR office played a little joke with the above pic. A couple days ago I had asked for a shot of David Ferreira playing in his return and that pic is the one FCD sent me. Only this morning did I realize it's a pic of Ferreira and Julian de Guzman.

Baines For £17m? Value In The Market??

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The rumours linking Leighton Baines with a move to Manchester United have become more common over recent weeks.

Before the Euros kicked off, Baines was asked whether he would find it hard to turn down United if an offer came in.

"The United link is flattering," he said. "There is no harm in people talking about it because it is a great club.