Real Madrid wants Robin Van Persie. Look at my face: I am not happy right now.

Rather than just writing one opinion piece, I typically try to gather as much information from around the World Wide Web and condense it with my own commentary added. This week we've got Real Madrid pursuing Van Persie, Mourinho gunning for Arsene's job, Kieran Gibbs returns from a long layoff to strengthen the defense, and a hobbled Jack Wilshere all torn up about England's national team losing its coach just months before the Euro 2012.

The public are comfortable with Harry Redknapp. His rumpled, down-to-earth persona harks back to a bygone era before football became a commercial monster, evoking soft fuzzy Sunday evening television images of a time when society was less complicated and life was better. With Harry, like him or not, you know where you are.

Harry Redknapp has been pleading illiteracy and ignorance of his own tax affairs during his current trial for tax evasion. Prepare yourself for a double dose of irony then when you learn that 'Arry has documented tax advice... in his autobiography. The Spurs boss says he never pays any attention to his financial affairs and [.

Arsene Wenger has made it clear that he is strongly opposed to loan deals such as Emmanuel Adebayor's spell with Tottenham Hotspur.

Adebayor has been in fine form this season, scoring nine goals in 19 games for the Spurs after parent club Manchester City chose to loan him out at the beginning of the season.

A clearly angry Manchester City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak has ruled out Carlos Tevez's move to Italian giants AC Milan. Mubarak who did not mince his words during an interview with The National in Abu Dhabi.

Mubarak is livid with the way Milan have conducted themselves the entire time and have continually maintained that loaning him with the option of buying at the end of the season is not an option.

The great irony here being that if it was Peter Crouch, it 100% would have gone inFootball, the great reducing force in all our lives. If Jermain Defoe had stretched for that Bale cross just a millisecond earlier, we'd all be headed to work this morning without that overbearing sense of melancholy that you're probably still feeling.

Two matches in the Blue Square Premier brought together four clubs from directly opposite ends of the football spectrum yesterday and, while the results of those matches were hardly unexpected, it was difficult not to feel at the end of this week that these were not as important as the fact that the matches had taken place in the first place.

Before I launch into not writing the preview of a game that is barely 8 hours away at the time this is published, I'd like to say What the whaaaaat?

The purple is to make sure the extent of shock is clear. The girl is incidental. Really.

It was ok when Henry lumbered on against Leeds (don't get all self-righteous-Arsenal fan on me now, you know he looked slower.

AC Milan have officially ended their pursuit of Manchester City striker Carlos Tevez after their bid worth more than €20 million was turned down by the club yesterday.

Milan vice president Adriano Galliani confirmed that talks had broken down saying that City were holding out for €35 million which for Milan is too pricey.

AC Milan have officially ended their pursuit of Manchester City striker Carlos Tevez after their bid worth more than €20 million was turned down by the club yesterday.

Milan vice president Adriano Galliani confirmed that talks had broken down saying that City were holding out for €35 million which for Milan is too pricey.

Oh, Diego Diego Maradona has hit out at Paris St Germain boss Leonardo by seeming to suggest that the Brazilian is only in his role due to the masses of money on offer at the Qatari-owned French outfit. El Diego said: "I wonder if he is a player, coach, agent or oil dealer. I do [...]

Voting is closed and Sporting Kansas City's remarkable re-brand is the big winner of the American soccer business story of the year according to your votes. Sporting's win speaks volumes about the power of social media, as the team effectively used Facebook and Twitter to get out the vote. As we said in our posts about Sporting's remarkable transformation, the team managed its re-brand with great skill both on and off the field.

Five things we learned from the Boxing Day football | Jonathan Wilson

Dimitar Berbatov has still got it but Ashley Cole appears to be losing it and Andy Carroll is just unlucky Berbatov's still got it One of the sadnesses of modern football and the prevalence of large squads is the talent that does not get to play.

By Chris Wright

Before last night's goalless draw with Wigan, Liverpool (including their 'negrito' players) ran out onto the field wearing t-shirts in support of freshly convicted racist-insult-slinger Luis Suarez including the man himself...

This is a joke right?

By Chris Wright

Chelsea held an open training session in aid of the 'Help A Capital Child' charity at The Bridge yesterday afternoon ahead of their midweek trip to Tottenham and we've got photographic proof people...

The West Stand at Stamford Bridge in all it's glory

The replacements for David Luiz and Alex are wheeled out

"These gloves smell of.

In this modern day of incessant news, our perpetual access to shiny electronic gadgets and the constant desire to create stories out of nothing that interesting, it is quite nice to minimise one's output and try not to just churn out bland words that say nothing of particular interest. Having said that I am going to drone on for a bit now, so read on and enjoy the irony, or feel free to leave

After the Man City game last week, I posted an article arguing (in the interests of fairness) that Lucas, Charlie Adam and Dirk Kuyt did their best to persuade the referee to send off Mario Balotelli. It was unsporting behaviour on a grand scale, and the photo evidence I provided backed this up.

Anyone else sense a twinge of irony in motion? Read More: Christine Bleakley's bike to work scheme.

I see a lot of frustration brewing around how the media have been portraying Arsenal in recent weeks. After a couple of months of daily 'crisis' articles, many have been chasing other negative angles due to the team's improved performances and results on the pitch. There was Van Persie's contract (which still has nearly two years to run), Walcott's contract (ditto), the 'one man team' nonsense, and finally the completely out of context claims that Wenger said he might leave at the end of the season.

There is no irony in the fact that Sepp Blatter's extremely ill-advised comments on racism "We are in a game, and at the end of the game we shake hands, and this can happen, because we have worked so hard against racism and discrimination" came on the same day that the Football Association charged Luis Suarez with using "abusive and/or insulting words and/or behaviour towards Manchester United's Patrice Evra" including "a reference to the ethnic origin and/or colour and/or race of Patrice Evra.

There is no irony in the fact that Sepp Blatter's extremely ill-advised comments on racism "We are in a game, and at the end of the game we shake hands, and this can happen, because we have worked so hard against racism and discrimination" came on the same day that the Football Association charged Luis Suarez with using "abusive and/or insulting words and/or behaviour towards Manchester United's Patrice Evra" including "a reference to the ethnic origin and/or colour and/or race of Patrice Evra.

In a grotesque display of gargantuan imbecility earlier today, FIFA's pernicious President Sepp Blatter vomited out the sickening opinion that there is 'no racism in football'.
When asked by CNN World Sport if he thought there was racism on the pitch, the man who runs world football (!

So this week, while this two-weeks-that-seems-like-two-years eternity marches inexorably on to Dynamo's date with destiny, or at least a third star, on Nov. 20, I started to reflect on exactly why I despise Los Angeles so much.

I mean, it's not like Angelenos are Dallasites (rhymes with parasites), and in truth, I do not put LA LA Land in that category.

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish has made no attempt to hide his anger over the the ridiculous scheduling of the club's Carling Cup game with Chelsea, accusing the Football League of being 'irresponsible and of 'devaluing' its own competition. Whilst I'm sure most fans agree with Kenny's stance, there is an unfortunate irony to his comments that many people may have missed.

Former Liverpool striker Stan Collymore has attacked a small section of the club's fans fans for showing 'open dissent' towards manager Kenny Dalglish after the Swansea game at the weekend.
Fans were reportedly booing at Anfield on Saturday after Liverpool were played off the park, and during Collymore's radio show on that night, there were a few very irate fans (Liverpudlians, it should be added), who were vehemently castigating Dalglish for his perceived failings.

Watching the last 20 minutes of the Heart v Sydney FC game last night one thing was clear, the Heart players are not enjoying their game.
They are stressed. Perhaps even broken hearted. A goal from a corner - that van't Schip rightly pointed out wasn't a corner - and its is a draw. A 1-0 win from a quality goal from their new Brazilian signing is relegated to 1-1 and a 10th match without a win.

"Soccer attracts more hackneyed hyperbole than most sports. We talk about "tragedy" when we mean "disappointment" and "disaster" when we mean "defeat". When real tragedy and disaster occur, we tend to be stuck for the rights words." Those words, written by David Lacey of the Guardian a quarter of a century ago, ring as true today as they did when they were written in the aftermath of the Bradford fire of 1985.

It has been a while since we have had to put our lawyer hat on to look at an issue facing American soccer. However, the news just broke that DC United forward Charlie Davies has filed a $20 million lawsuit against various parties stemming from his car accident in 2009. The defendants in the suit include the bar that hosted the event where he spent his night and Red Bull North America, an event sponsor.

Chelsea have offered striker Salomon Kalou a new deal to replace his current contract that ends next summer. The 26 year old striker has in the recent past become surplus to the squad after the arrival of Mata, Toress and Lukakhu.

Of course, there are very many different views as to whether Kalou deserves to be a Blues player, however, the truth of the matter is that his talent cannot be doubted.

By Alan Duffy

Aston Villa's Der Kaiser listens to the resounding laughter following Alex McLeish's interview

It's not often that you hear the names Emile Heskey and Franz Beckenbauer in the same sentence, and it's even less often that you hear the former England man being actually compared to the German great.

When you consider the amount of hot air, high fashion, alcohol and misbehaviour that generally occurs when awards are dished out, you'd think we'd have a staff member whose only job is to sniff out those nominations.

Well, we don't.

Generally, if we learn we've been nominated it's too late and even if we win, we're too disorganised to go to the ceremony.

We continue our new series on the Free Beer Movement. It's called "Brews and Views" and we pose a question or topic to various prominent soccer persons and, well, they give us their view on it.
We've got loads of get people that have already responded to our call for essay submissions and each week we'll feature a unique perspective on the current topic/question at hand.

The irony. Damn.

"Dat's what me t'ought!"

For those not in the know, my offering is a reference to this. Poor, I know. Anyway, let's see what you got people.

I'm looking for some gold here. The photo deserves it.

Perhaps we are now so used to the gamesmanship of Sir Alex Ferguson in press conferences and interviews that we now look for subliminal messages in everything he says without even thinking about it. His comments yesterday on the nature of the relationship between football and television have certainly provoked debate, though, not least from those that have chosen to reflect upon the irony of the manager of a club that has arguably benefited more than any other from the expansion of television rights into being the main financial mover in the modern game commenting on the influence of broadcasters being to "shake hands with the devil.

Blackburn 4 (Yakubu 25, 59, Song og 50, Koscielny og 68) Arsenal 3 (Gervinho 10, Arteta 34, Chamakh 85)
(Premiership)

I actually thought we had run out of inventive, hilarious for the rest of the league, ways of losing football matches. Call this Arsenal team what you want they are a creative bunch.

It could have been worse, believe it or not. Four goals down with five minutes left to play of the first half, five down mid-way through the second. Eventually, though, Sheffield Wednesday managed a consolation goal and pegged their opposition down to a five to one score-line, but this doesn't mask the fact that Gary Megson is now skating on thin ice as the manager of a club which continues to loll around in League One and, on the basis of this evening's performance, seems unlikely to improve upon this at any point in the immediate future unless the manager can turn around a dismal early season run of form.

This marketing strategy is as solid as a house of (lotto) cards.At first we didn't even think twice about Tuesday's news that Major League Soccer reached an agreement with a lotto ticket company to potential produce scratch-off games with MLS logos on them. Chalk it up to another weird marketing synergy that someone on high thinks is going to make the league a bunch of bucks.

Did he mean it, then, or was he merely to trying to cover his embarrassment? Neil Warnock is, of course, what is commonly referred to as a "character". He can, however, be a walking contradiction at times, and it often feels as if, just as you're in danger of warming to him, he will say something as if to remind you of why many supporters call him by an anagram if his name which is, well, fairly obscene.

In football as in life, hindsight is always 20/20 and there are some dissenting Spurs voices that have greeted the impressive displays shown by Jonathan Woodgate in his first two outings as a Stoke City player.

Woody played half a game for Spurs last season after being beset by injuries over the last two years.

Stupidity from Gervinho

Football is back. First match over and done with. A sense of deja vu to add into the mix. Last season we ended up drawing 1-1 at Anfield and Laurent Koscielny got sent off. This time around Gervinho got sent off as we also ended up in a stalemate in the first fixture of the season.