File this one under the category: most likely to attract choice commentary from Seattle Sounders supporters.

As the Sounders-less MLS First Kick fast approaches, we here at Stumptown Footy are spooling up the statistical analysis drives in preparation for the 2012 campaign. Lacking much in the way of hard data so far, with just one preseason match under our belt, we've decided to start with the schedule.

A few months ago, everything was going swimmingly for City. All they seemingly had to do was to show up for win after lopsided win. But then there was a gradual slide in theor fortunes. At the end of January their season is but a litany of thwarted ambitions. Out of the Champions League in December and by last week, the Carling Cup and the FA Cup, their accelerated program to win the Premiership title seems to have hit a wall and in danger of being snatched by those other pesky Mancunians and the upstart Spurs.

It wasn't even close. Ba scores yet again and to add insult to injury, Jones scores an own goal on Man U as Newcastle run out winners, 3-0 at home.Video: rutube
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By Alan Duffy

West Bromwich Albion 1-2 Wigan Athletic Premier League 10th December 2011

Roberto Martinez and his Wigan side made it seven points from their last four Premier League games after coming from behind to win at the Hawthorns on Saturday.

The last time we reported from Kettering Town, the club was at the point of being on its knees. With the whole team having been put on the transfer list, they lost five players on loan deadline day, only to see three replacements having their transfers to the club cancelled after the club was placed under a transfer embargo.

Hibernian striker Garry O' Connor (28) was in hiding last night after the 16 times capped Scottish striker was accused of failing a drugs test in 2009/10 while playing for Birmingham City in the Premier League.

And to add insult to injury it is alleged that O'Connor was also charged with fraud after his £100,000 Ferrari was mysteriously found crashed a few short miles from his home a few months ago.

The Rapids traveled to Chicago on Saturday, but everyone might have been better served by Colorado forfeiting the game and staying home for the rest. A 2-0 loss where Colorado was outplayed and out-hustled all night wasn't any better than the 3-0 forfeit score line and added rest would have been.
I'd break down the play and the goals, but honestly they're what you would expect for a tried Mile High Club.

Not a bad way to start things off for Robbie Keane in Los Angeles.

A new chapter was written into the storied and intense California Clasico rivalry. A first half strike from the latest big-name acquisition into MLS that was set up by the man that started this whole Designated Player thing.

Not a bad way to start things off for Robbie Keane in Los Angeles.

A new chapter was written into the storied and intense California Clasico rivalry. A first half strike from the latest big-name acquisition into MLS that was set up by the man that started the whole conecpt of big-name stars coming to America.

Arsenal 0-2 Liverpool | Premier League match report

For the second week in succession Arsenal had a man sent off and failed to score a goal, but for Arsène Wenger at the moment it never rains but it pours. Just as a patched-together Arsenal side seemed likely to hold out for another draw, a freakish own goal handed Liverpool three points they barely deserved.

Note: There is a print link embedded within this post, please visit this post to print it. | Subscribe: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

All this week's stories come from the opening fixtures of the English Premier League. You can listen to these and other stories on our weekly podcast and can find explanations of key vocabulary in bold below.

By Elmer Smith, writing from Boston

Highs and lows came at a gut-wrenching pace, but an emotional roller coaster doesn't even begin to capture the Women's World Cup quarterfinal match between the Samba Queens of Brazil and United States Women's National Team. Fans of the USWNT were ecstatic when Daiane put the ball into her own net off a cross by Shannon Boxx, then livid when Rachel Buehler was sent off in the 65′ for a foul in the box on Marta.

Watch Bouna Condoul fumble a run of the mill grab of a corner and gift the ball to Ryan Stephenson for San Jose Earthquakes equalizer. Last weekend he was similarly embarrassed when he completely flubbed Marco Pappa's soft shot on goal.

Condoul's horrifically incompetent goalkeeping is a seamless transition from his predecessor Greg Sutton's equally inept performance.

A record crowd of 41,028 watched as the Earthquakes threw away two points against the Red Bulls who scored with five minutes left on the clock and to add insult to injury the Earthquakes had defender Bobby Burling sent off in injury time for a second yellow card.

A record crowd of 41,028 watched as the Earthquakes threw away two points against the Red Bulls who scored with five minutes left on the clock and to add insult to injury the Earthquakes had defender Bobby Burling sent off in injury time for a second yellow card.

Good afternoon! The Red Bulls are back in MLS action today vs the San Jose Earthquakes (10:30pm ET, ESPN2). The Earthquakes usually play @Buckshaw Stadium (pictured above) but they moved this match to the much larger Stanford Stadium. As of yesterday, 30,000 tickets had been sold, so it should be a fantastic atmosphere.

Liverpool midfielder Lucas Leiva has enjoyed a well-earned break on his cattle ranch after a tough season with the Anfield club.
This picture of Lucas, who was a stand-out player in an otherwise underwhelming campaign for the Reds, has gone viral, with Liverpool fans quick to comment on the South American star's choice of summer holiday destination.

Berti Vogts prefers his TP rolls to be supple enough to cradle in your hands, it seems.

Comfort is key in the grand scheme of hygiene, Kickettes. Unfortunately for Berti Vogts, current Azerbaijan manager and World Cup winner as a player and coach, he had to learn that the hard way.

On Saturday, Vogts held a press conference prior to his team's Euro 2012 qualifier against Kazakhstan.

It's been a pretty good year for spendaholics in the Premier Leauge. Manchester City have made the Champions League, therefore robbing fans of meeker sides of ridicule. Job done, but will City's stars escape ridicule?

Here are my top 10 flops of the season.

1. Fernando Torres: £50 million.

In a game with little on the line, Innsbruck won at home and added insult to injury for Shawm Barry and Linz eleven already they were already destined for relegation after next weekend.

Real Salt Lake take on Monterrey tonight for a chance at winning the CONCACAF Champions Cup. If you are on Twitter and a fan of any American soccer, you will likely see the hashtag #MLS4RSL. One of our authors posted a story and used that hashtag even. I wasn't happy. I don't understand why anyone but Real Salt Lake fans want to see RSL win.

United: VDS, O'Shea, Smalling, Vidic, Evra, Nani, Carrick, Anderson, Giggs, Rooney, Chicharito.
Bench: Fabio, Evans, Valencia, Owen, Park, Gibson, Kuszczak.

Newcastle: Krul, Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Williamson, Barton, Guthrie, Lovenkrands, Simpson, Gutierrez, Ameobi Tiote.

Sunday's game between Arsenal and Liverpool was a nice little gift for us.

Late last night, while we were all in bed,

Juninho and David Beckham went for shins instead,

When the players tipped over, the referee winked his eye and said,

It will be a Hot Time in Old Town tonight.

So yes, long story short, David Beckham received his fifth yellow card in six games last night.

In a match that was never close, the U.S. under-20 men's national soccer team dominated Suriname on the way to a 4-0 win in their opening game of the CONCACAF U-20 Championship in Guatemala.

The Americans, whose starting eleven featured Zac MacMath and Amobi Okugo of the Philadelphia Union, came out playing an attractive, attacking style of soccer in their 4-3-3 formation and kept their foot on the pedal throughout the entire first half.

Click here to view the embedded video.

GOOD WEEK

Whacked Out Warm-Up: AC Milan fans were distracted from their programme reading and pre-match routines (above) by a bunch of actors purporting to be players and arsing around on the pitch during the 'team' warm-up before the Bari game last weekend.

PARIS, France — Paris Saint Germain, who were last crowned French champions back in 1994, moved to within one point of leaders Lille with a 2-1 win over bottom club Arles-Avignon on Saturday. Turkish striker Mevlut Erding, PSG's top scorer last season, ensured the points with goals in either half, with Senegelese midfielder Deme Ndiaye [.

Yesterday's Copa del Rey games were slightly amusing, but none were as surprising as Barcelona's 3-1 defeat by Real Betis ending their 28 game unbeaten streak. Seemingly unprepared, Betis surprised Barcelona by scoring 2 goals in the first 7 minutes leaving them down for the rest of the game. Adding insult to injury, their very [.

Yesterday's Copa del Rey games were slightly amusing, but none were as surprising as Barcelona's 3-1 defeat by Real Betis ending their 28 game unbeaten streak. Seemingly unprepared, Betis surprised Barcelona by scoring 2 goals in the first 7 minutes leaving them down for the rest of the game. Adding insult to injury, their very [.