This is going to be the strangest, most illogical football rule you see all day, so prepare yourself or your brain just might melt and slide out your ear...

Second division club Portimonense won their Carlsberg Cup (Portugal's league cup) first group phase by simply substituting in a 19-year-old goalkeeper (pictured above.

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The official Ligue 1 website is proclaiming Sunday's 10 goal thriller between Lyon and Marseille to be "The Game of the Century!" and while that statement is weighed by a tremendous amount of hyperbole, they may not be completely off base. Though the game ended without a true winner at 5-5, insanity prevailed in a number of ways that can hardly be conveyed in a short clip of just the goals, so revel in the extended highlights included above (for now, at least).

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Want improvement? A century ago as America's eastern cities overpopulated it was, "Go West, young man." For soccer a century later the trumpet sounds the same. Only going west means tracking back to the previous Western frontier. In mainland Europe. Or at least that's what Simon Kuper believes and writes in his and economist Stefan Szymanski's new book, Soccernomics.

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Well, we didn't win. Houston took our best shot and is still standing. A couple thoughts on last night's game.
1) Houston is *way* more talented than we are, up and down the field. Brad Evans played out of his mind last night, Ljungberg had a good game, our defense was ok, Keller earned his paycheck, that was for sure. Click to continue reading...

It looks like the insanity and greed of those who run football (in terms of the leagues and associations) is starting to impact on the real centres of football: the clubs. Of course the clubs are not all sweet darlings themselves and we spend much of our time here debating the lunatic actions of Manchester [. Click to continue reading...

Avram Grant has been named director of football at Fratton Park. My apologies for twittering prematurely that Paul Hart had been sacked this morning- I watch sky sports with groggy eyes. But I think the writing is on the wall and my guess is that recent financial insanity at Portsmouth probably has the funds needed to send Hart on his way tied up. Click to continue reading...

This was written by a City fan about Wayne Rooney: I sit there awaiting with baited breath for him to receive a beautiful through ball that he then latches onto, and promptly puts it in the back of the opposing net.

The insanity of an Ingerlurnd fan. One week they will come to Old Trafford and chant "you fat bastard!

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Time, then, for your weekly dose of Mungo. This week sees Sir Roddy Bulbs slow descent towards insanity gather pace with the purchase of a panda. You can get a bigger version of this week's Mungo here.

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This week saw yet another much-hyped series of columns on the internet that put the US Soccer Federation squarely in the cross-sights. This time it was freelancer and Big Lead contributor Ty Duffy laying into US Soccer with his three piece series. I hate having to, to paraphrase Wiilliam F. Buckley, stand athwart the nonsense being thrown the USSF's way, yelling stop, but in this case, I will again. Click to continue reading...

International breaks mean nothing to me if I'm honest, of course I watch my own contries games but I never feel as involved as I do when United are playing or even just watching another league game. So from my own personal viewpoint an international break is about as much fun as a tournament free close season. Click to continue reading...

Back to square one for Bulgarian.

The Three Stages of the Transfer Window Insanity!

Martin Petrov's agent has revealed his client's disappointment at failing to secure a move to Tottenham.

Spurs were reported to be keen on striking a deal for the Manchester City winger as they look to counter the loss of Luka Modric to a broken leg.

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Speculation is rife with this one!

The Three Stages of the Transfer Window Insanity!

"David Bentley has gone to Liverpool on a one-year loan, heard from an inside source..." (BBC Sport)

Meanwhile, Rafael Benitez may have nothing in the coffers, but Rory Smith has now sent Liverpool fans into afternoon overdrive with this one: "Rumours abounding among agents that Liverpool could yet pull something out of the bag with a loan swoop it's deadline day, everything's a swoop for David Bentley, who won't, of course, be moving to Manchester City.

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Who should you trust?

The Three Stages of the Transfer Window Insanity!

There are alleged sightings of West Ham striker Carlton Cole at Liverpool's training ground (BBC Sport)

This is what makes the transfer deadline so damn amusing.

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Apparently Mark Hughes is sick of spending money!

The Three Stages of the Transfer Window Insanity!

David Bentley at the wheel

Official on-the-record chat from Manchester City and it involves Tottenham's David Bentley. They say, wait for it, they absolutely will not be signing the midfielder either on a permanent basis or a loan.

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There are some tasty encounters here, not sure about the music, but hey ho! Enjoy!

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I've had a dilemma for a while now. I believe to deliver a blog which people will read regularly you have to be consistent with your posting days and times (as well as actually having half decent content and a writing style that people can actually understand).

I originally chose to to go for a morning 'edition' but this was a rather stupid idea as I start work at 5.

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Episode 38: "The Government's Gonna Go Tienanmen Square on Them"
Host: Scott
Panel: Zach, Sandra and Richard Oram
Listen on the CSRN Media Player
DOWNLOAD Episode 38
32-Bit (Small File)
96-Bit (Large File)
Available on iTunes, just search Winning Ugly
This week's show brings the debut of a new panelist and another round of our patented hard hitting questions that cut right to the collective bone of the football world. Click to continue reading...

Long rumoured, announced today.

Carlos Tevez has agreed his move to Manchester City subject to a medical, the club have announced.
The 25-year-old has agreed personal terms with the club and will sign a five-year contract. He will jet out to South Africa after his medical to join his new team-mates on their pre-season tour, where he will wear the number 32 shirt.

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The Major League Soccer sides played their first games in this year's US Open Cup this week, and half of them got knocked off by lower-level opponents. One of the most unlikely was the New England Revolution being beaten by the USL-2 Harrisburg City Islanders.
In a burst of insanity (or apathy) New England coach Steve Nicol made all three of his allowed subs at halftime. Click to continue reading...

You'll probably see this everywhere, but here it is, because if the award winning Dirty Tackle is about anything, it's this. A fat kid rubbing ice cream all over his face, probably high out of his gourd on PCP and glue.

But look at his eyes the kid's gone wrong. This is the face of a future snuff film producer, my friends.

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Last night, after recording yet another episode of Five Hundy By Midnight, apparently Michele wanted to continue recording. So they did what podcasters usually do in situations like that, created an entirely new show.

My reaction?

So check out the first episode of Dyslexic Heart, which has great music and even more of the drunken insanity that makes FHBM the best friggin' podcast around.

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