They think they're experts. They think we think we're the experts. "He's rubbish!" they say. And us, the good ones we think to ourselves are summoned by our blind loyalty rational thinking to reply: "but he's good ... give him time." And we repeat this until we get exhausted.

They think they're experts. They think we think we're the experts. "He's rubbish!" they say. And us, the good ones we think to ourselves are summoned by our blind loyalty rational thinking to reply: "but he's good ... give him time." And we repeat this until we get exhausted.

Slow day relativelty speaking for SPANISH FOOTBALL , although tomorrow things will certainly pick up as La Liga gets into action with both Barça & Real Madrid playing their respective games. However, thought I let all the readers know what REAL MADRID Coach MOURINHO told - straight at his face - the Spanish Cup 2º leg quarter-final referee TEIXEIRA after the 2 - 2 result which knocked out Real

A little gallows humour can go a long way. Kettering Town's patchwork team played Gateshead in the Blue Square Premier in Tuesday night. Another crowd of under one thousand, another critical evening in a relegation battle that may yet prove to be highly important should the club somehow scrape through its current woes.

Milan lost the weekend event 0-1 to city rivals Inter and word on the street is Pato ain't going anywhere soon as owner Silvio Berlusconi has sent the word down he wants two upfront and that means, for the time being, a Ibra-Pato partnership must bloom. Team vice-president Adriano Galliani was quoted on the club's official website as saying, "We're still five points ahead of.

Image: REUTERS/Samrang Pring.

"Size has never been a problem for me."

Er... we beg to differ, Fabio. You may claim not to remember the Photoshop D&G re-touch incident of 2006, but it is scorched into our frontal lobes to the extent that we can call it to mind on closed eyes command.

The visit of Wolves over the last two seasons has produced two wins for the boys in red and white keeping clean sheets on both occasions. Although Wolves have some robust players McCarthy tries to get them to play football.

He is one of the few managers who I like listening to in post match interviews as he rarely complains about decisions and outcomes of games, choosing instead to inject some humour in his "call a spade a spade" approach to cross examination.

With the "Clasico" dust finally settled in Madrid, after the FC BARCELONA "hurricane" brushed pass on their way to Japan defeating REAL MADRID 1 - 3 on their home turf, I can now sit down & reflect on certain observations - some already said below in the match post - that I would like to reinforce, add to & of course, add some humour.

Moses departed solitary to the heights of Mt.Sinai after leading his "Children" away from the suffering. While scaling the mountain for 40 days - nights, God handed onto Moses his 10 commandments to take onto his people. Spanish Sports paper "Marca" has either contacted directly with the "Football God" or Real Madrid Coach José Mourinho, neither I believe, but they publish today an article

Peter Lovenkrands is a great source of humour. Firstly, he gives you a great laugh anytime he still manages to get into a Premier League starting line-up. Secondly, and not quite as regularly, he cartwheels over advertising hoardings.

We usually try to add an element of humour to our top ten and top five features. However, in the light of the weekend's events, we thought it would be just to examine some of the more heartfelt responses to the death of a true gentleman. He was the normal Gary Speed to me. He [...]

I think it's fair to say that Andy Carroll has struggled at Liverpool since his 35m move from Newcastle. Things just haven't gone according to plan, and lately, he's found it increasingly hard to break into the first team. At Chelsea on Sunday, Carroll was given only three measly minutes of pitch time, but in that short period, he delivered a mini-masterclass of footballing technique, skill, movement, and composure on the ball, and offered a compelling reminder of why Kenny Dalglish handed over 35m for his services.

Who would Steven Gerrard invite to his ideal dinner party, and what food would be served? Liverpool FC's captain recently revealed all...
Dinner guests?
"I think Michael Jackson would be one; I'd ask him what was going on his life"
Perhaps someone should let Gerrard know that Jackson is no longer of this earth.

Morning all, it's a bit grey and miserable here in Dublin this morning.

I think this is because the weather knows that after this weekend's game against West Brom there's another Interlull coming. Ostensibly this is because there are play-offs to see who gets the final places in Euro 2012, but in reality it's just UEFA being dicks.

Over the last 21 years, the England national team has persistently failed at the World Cup and the European Championships. Blame has regularly been attributed to failed managers, and the so-called 'Golden Generation' of pampered Premier League primadonnas. However, there is one common denominator underpinning England's continual failure, and that is the negative influence of Manchester United players.

According to a recent Police report, Daniel Pacheco was arrested on Friday and is facing a burglary charge after allegedly relieving his neighbour of an X-Box 360.The news report states: "The neighbor reported earlier this month that his Southwest Albuquerque house had been burglarized and an Xbox 360 and other related equipment were missing.

Professional Scousers Part 2: The Flip Side

In our recent interview with a ‘professional Scouser', we explored the extremities of what is known as the best fan base in the world, and in doing so unearthed that we also play host to some of the most small-minded, hostile and bigoted individuals that any faithful has to offer.

Why Joey Barton is the gift that keeps on giving and Big Eck is doomed at Villa

Whatever you think of Joey Barton you'd have to be completely devoid of humour not to enjoy his cack-handed attempt to portray himself as an intellectual humanitarian. Last week's interview with The People, in which he talked about ditching his pampered, privileged, materialistic lifestyle was good: "You grow up and see things in a very different way.

Hi guys! Not much significant & "brain catching" happening around the Spanish Football scene today, except that the "medium-lower" LIGA Clubs under Sevilla FC President Del Nido has called a summit ( at Sevilla ) to create a pressure group against Real Madrid - FC Barcelona to re-negotiate TV rights contracts.

According to beloved ex-Manchester United defender Gary Neville, Liverpool deliberately tried to ‘deprive' Man United of the title in 2010 by ‘easing off' against Chelsea at the tail-end of Premier league season.
At the time, Liverpool and Man United both had 18 league titles apiece, and a victory over Chelsea would've handed United the advantage in the race for the title.

Since returning to Liverpool, Kenny Dalglish has brought 9 players to the club for transfer fees of approximately £111m, and recouped £71m by offloading 14 players. After crunching the numbers, this means that Dalglish has only actually spent £36m, which consequently means we got Andy Carroll, Jordan Henderson and Stewart Downing for a mere £4m each.

Image Credit: VanityFair.it/Alan Gelati. Cheers Elizabeth!

Pato's main squeeze, Barbara Berlusconi, is this month's Vanity Fair Italia cover girl, and she's peppered her multi-page feature with choice words about her younger man.

Normally this would be the part of our post where we summarise Miss B's interview, as loosely translated by figments of our imaginations.

Kenny Dalglish upbeat despite Liverpool's leaky defence

It was a typical Kenny Dalglish moment. Having been asked how concerned he was with the way Liverpool's defence was functioning, he used humour to defuse an awkward situation.

View the full story here: The Mail

A news article on 2011-08-03 17:51:30 from: The Mail

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Milan Jovanovic is leaving Liverpool to join Anderlecht having been told he has no future at the club after just one season. Having not seen much playing time, he doesn't have much of a highlight reel, but he did make the Anfield crowd laugh with a hilarious attempt to head the ball against Arsenal on the opening day of the season.

Milan Jovanovic is leaving Liverpool to join Anderlecht having been told he has no future at the club after just one season. Having not seen much playing time, he doesn't have much of a highlight reel, but he did make the Anfield crowd laugh with a hilarious attempt to head the ball against Arsenal on the opening day of the season.

Sometimes there simply is no justice in football. Sometimes the one team that plays like a bunch of violent shits wins, and this has just happened with Paraguay, who has made it to the final of the Copa América by not winning a single match in ordinary time. Instead, they retort to defensiveness, dirty tricks and filthy provocations to make it to the penalty kicks, where their only "good" player

From the outside, the life of a footballer seems very alluring but for those whose potential is never fulfilled, the riches never compensate for the lingering disappointment. Alan Smith, at 23, had the world at his feet. But his club at the time, Leeds United were relegated. Banished from the top flight.

Like many of you I watched yesterday's 1-1 draw with Hangzhou Greentown on the old Arsenal Player thingimaji (worked perfectly this time although it'd be excellent if one could resize the window to one's own specification rather than the two options of 'tiny' and 'full screen')

It wasn't particularly exciting and the best thing you can say about it was that it gave those with a certain sense of a humour a chance to crack wise a term that always puts me in mind of a former Chelsea player and a cricket bat.

The Real Madrid Waterpolo Squad? No, the Club hasn´t a water sports division, not yet at least. This picture was uploaded by REAL MADRID Spanish Football player ARBELOA to his Twiter account. Coach José Mourinho planned a relaxed afternoon of training at the UCLA pools for a Waterpolo game, that by the looks of things was more fun & a team building exercise.

By Chris Wright

In which Peter Crouch is caught running through his new goal celebration on 'CCTV' in this viral ad for Puma (at least we assume it's for Puma)...

Crouchy appears to be a rare thing, i.e, a professional footballer with a modicum of charisma and humour that you could probably tolerate to be around for more than a few minutes unless, of course, he's after his nachos.

Attn: lackeys of Roman Abramovich, make sure he reads this, cheers.

Dear Roman,

According to the ultra reliable sources at Sky Sports News (ie: twitter, forums and making stuff up) you have made a bid of £22m for The Croatian Xavi, Mr Luka Modric himself.

There are lots of words I could use in response to this, but my mum reads my blog so I will just leave it at this: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

The transfer window only opened a couple of days ago, but already there have been 21 players linked with LFC. From Aguero to Wickham, we've got the full list here of players that so called "in the know" people reckon we're signing; despite Kenny Dalglish pointing out that everything will be done behind closed doors (and we've got the video to prove it).

Analysing the wheeler-dealer market by Nitesh Disclaimer All jokes, humour and other assuredly accurate pieces used in this article are fully intentional and not at all repented. Any cursing and inappropriate pieces against any individual or group are completely have been put on purpose and complaints will not be entertained.

Images: Google, FFF.fr.

We were hoping to present our written case to you today on Adil Rami's behalf, but words have a funny way of evading us when we least expect it. Therefore, this will be a quickie (in our dreams).

Sticking to the absolute need-to-know details, this 25-year-old Frenchie from Moroccan descent stands at a massively tall 6'3.

Now that the season is over, and everyone knows that Liverpool will have some money to spend this summer (rather than it all going towards paying interest on huge debts), the silly season for transfer rumours has started. The worst part about it is, everyone claims to know someone who has inside info on a deal, when in reality there are very few people that do.

I wrote a post last year which put forward the notion that James Milner could be our Wesley Sneijder. As it turned out, I missed the mark somewhat, but only because he's not ours any longer. I still think he would have done very well there for us last season and maybe, just maybe, things might have panned out differently.

For those of you not currently prune-skinned from head to toe and looking for some type of NutCan post-match report... look out the window. With Vancouver up 1-0 and leading a flat Toronto FC comfortably, nature called and let her damp fury loose over BMO Field.
Late this evening, due to lightning, biblical rain and possibly the delayed Rapture, the NutCan Final 2nd Leg was abandoned and a full replay will be attempted tomorrow.

Bebe, who joined Manchester United in the summer for £7m, was comically described as looking like a competition winner during training sessions.

The 20-year old hasn't featured for the first team since our FA Cup game against Crawley. He has made 7 appearances in all competitions, 2 of those in the league as subs.

Spanish Sports (Football) Barcelona based press, "Don Balon", via its online edition has published an interesting article that one can interpret as strategically cunning or dangerous in its message with a "Machiavellian" design & intention. Thought appropriate to post seeing today is a "quiet" day in the Spanish League.

You might remember that when we beat Inter Milan 3-1 earlier this season, that a video was soon doing the rounds, featuring the hysterical reaction to the defeat, from the Italian version of Sky's Soccer Saturday.

The video featured a fanatical Inter supporter going nuts, as his team capitulated.