By Chris Wright

On the day of his 30th birthday, Genoa's Rodrigo Palacio (he of 'abysmal rat-tail/Jedi bog chain' horror hair fame) scored against Lazio on Sunday with an absurdly deft, over-the-shoulder flick at the near post that lobbed over the flapping Federico Marchetti and in at the far post.

Caray

Después de cuatro fechas de dominar a los rivales y no poderlo demostrar, uno espera a los grandes, en este caso al vigente campeón para medir sus verdaderas fuerzas, y lamentablemente el América reprobó esta prueba.

Sólo una cosa ¿qué demonios con la violencia afuera del Azteca ¿ya somos rivales de mucho tiempo o cómo?

By Chris Wright

Remember on Tuesday evening? When Benoit Assou-Ekotto very nearly carved Franco Di Santo's leg in twain with a disgusting, over-the-ball leg-breaker of a horror tackle?

A tackle, it's perhaps worth noting, that apparently didn't merit any form of punishment for BAE from either the referee at the time (as the blood sopped through the Argentine's sock) or the FA's disciplinary committee?

By Chris Wright

Two parts 'Horror Hair' to one part 'actually pretty impressive'; it's BAE's latest crop of 'between styles' free range Afro fuzz, which is the size of a Capybara and looks like a distinct fire hazard...

No naked flames within a three-metre radius please people.

Image: REUTERS/Giorgio Perottino.

How cool would it be if there was a superhero whose job it was to pursue footballers and pull their shorts down for the benefit of watching?!

Well, fantasise no more, people. Juve's Fabio Quagliarella is here and he's going to rescue us from the horror of thigh-free week days.

Dias anteriores,vimos fallas increíbles, apenas inicia el año y siguen apareciendo señales del fin del mundo. Ya en serio, vaya manera de fallar y pensar que todavia les pagan bastante por algo así.

Jogador do Fluminense contra Gremio:

Horror de falla del futbolista Danny (Zenit)

Glen Johnson's dangerous two-footed lunge near the end Wednesday's victory again Manchester City has provoked a huge debate about tackling in the game, and Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish has now weighed in with his view on the issue. I call it a 'horror tackle' because if Johnson had got it wrong, then Lescott could've been seriously injured.

MOC MOC! It's Friday and that could only mean one thing our weekly Comedy Club on the famous Catalan football sketch show....Crackovia! This week, Zlatan Ibrahimovic excitedly discovers new information to add to his 'GuardioLeaks' directory [WATCH HERE] and Mourinho gets annoyed with his players for gaining weight during the Christmas holidays.

Mirror: Video: The horror! See Sepp Blatter shaking his hips at Shakira

FIFA president makes a fool of himself once again, this time at Zurich gala

View the full story here: The Mirror

A news article on 2012-01-10 14:36:56 from: The Mirror

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

By Billy the Dog McGraw

It is 10am on the second day of 2012 and the sheer size of the horror is just bursting upon Arsenal fans Van Persie has scored no goals this year. After the triumphs of 2011 when he got over 2,864 goals per game on average, this season is a [...]

Newcastle manager Alan Pardew is confident Yohan Cabaye will not face retrospective punishment from the Football Association for his horror tackle against Liverpool.
The Frenchman avoided any action from referee Lee Probert in the 3-1 defeat at Anfield on Friday night despite leaving Jay Spearing in a heap with a studs-up challenge.

Jose takes a tumble! The Sexwale song! Horror misses! Our 50 funniest football videos of 2011 part two

Every day at 3PM, MirrorFootball brings you the day's funniest football videos in our 3PM Extra feature. Here is our personal choice of the best foul-ups, fouls, fails and four-letter words from 2011.

David Villa broken leg: Barcelona striker is all smiles after horror injury

Barcelona star David Villa was in surprisingly good spirits on Thursday despite suffering a broken leg. The 30-year-old was carried off on a stretcher six minutes before half-time.

View the full story here: The Mail

A news article on 2011-12-16 10:09:57 from: The Mail

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Got, Not Got: the unholy horror of the Frankenstein's monster football sticker

There aren't many things in life that can cause man or boy as much alarm as a hastily recoloured kit on a football card or sticker. For starters, there's the creeping sense of injustice as you see through the sticker company's little ruse – spotting the iffy, last-minute airbrushing and feeling soiled by the messy evidence of a crime.

What's this strange, unfamiliar feeling? Oh yeah... it's Barnsley winning!

Is there anything quite like the terror and horror of supporting a team who are on a losing run? Actually, yes, there is: it is the terror and horror that comes with supporting a team who are on a winning run.

It's tough seeing my club embroiled in such poor results. Looking back:

• ManU 3-1
  This one was an amazing game, Manchester edged it but there was so much to take away from our performance that the season looked bright.
• QPR 1-0
  The surprise.

Chelsea are eying to bounce back after the horror home defeat against Arsenal in their last last league matches by picking up a good result against Liverpool this weekend.

In order to confirm the three points, the Blues' goalie, Peter Cech, is also hoping that he would be able to keep a clean sheet against the Reds, as not conceding a goal has been a pretty rare occasion for the blues in the league this season.

After the international break, Arsenal fans all over the world simply can't wait to see the Gunners back in action. This international break was unfortunately timed, as it interrupted a purple patch of form for Arsene Wenger's men, who had won 9 of their last eleven matches in all competition. As it stands, they sit on top of their group in the Champions League, are placed 7th in the Premier League and have been drawn against Manchester City in the Carling Cup quarter final.

Sadly, this isn't makeup it's Klaas' broken nose. Tragically, it happened on November 3rd, days late for Halloween and the most frightening natural makeup this side of Tevez's goal celebrations.

Of course he also has a custom mask which looks to be made of leather with a snoutish nose and is emblazoned with Hunter across the forehead, making this easily the best accidental after-the-fact Halloween ensemble in the history of goal poachers for the Dutch national team who also once played for De Graafschap.

3PM Extra: Steve Kean is An Idiot Aboard, plus classic goalie gaffe and horror miss

Presenting quality football videos from the interweb, daily at 3pm. Here's today's collection:

View the full story here: The Mirror

A news article on 2011-11-07 15:00:33 from: The Mirror

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Wayne Rooney is often considered one of England's brightest talents, however, there is one thing that stands in his way of following in the footsteps of fellow legends Allan Shearer and Paul Gascoigne - his temper.

After last month's horror lash out on Miodrag Dzudovic during the 2-2 draw with Montenegro in a Euro 2012 qualifier, it became apparent that Rooney has a problem handling his anger.

Saborío 41´, (1-0), Saborío 53´(2-0), Grabavoy 88´(3-0). Como si se tratara de una película de horror, muy apropiada en estos dias, Los Sounders FC fueron acribillados por el Real Salt Lake 3 0 con dos goles del costarricense Álvaro SABORÍO y otro de Ned GRABAVOY para dejar a Seattle al borde del precipicio de [.

Image Credit: Abbey's Twitter & Danielle's Twitter.

Gone are the days of carrying around your kids' most precious moments in your back pocket or purse, Kickette boys and girls. As Abbey Crouch and Danielle Lloyd can attest, it's much more fun to capture your babies' chocolate biscuit antics as it happens.

By Chris Wright

We got an awful lot of requests flooding in for this howler to get a mention on Pies after Paul Heffernan's horror miss from the same game got a nod so, due to popular demand and for your viewing pleasure, here's Celtic striker Anthony Stokes' ridiculously rubbish miss from all of 40cm against Kilmarnock at the weekend.

Tom Bender grateful for "amazing" support

Accrington defender overwhelmed by messages of support following horror concussion

View the full story here: The Mirror

A news article on 2011-10-06 16:56:42 from: The Mirror

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

In the wake of Everton midfielder Jack Rodwell having his controversial red card against Liverpool rescinded by the FA, In The Stands looks back to a few horrific tackles and leg-breaks which have left us almost in tears. Who said football was a game for pansies and show-ponies? The dangers of the modern game have [.

Anybody seen my eye patch? You settle down to celebrate the bi-centenary of Dickens' birth for a pleasant hour or two with 'Great Expectations' and discover to your horror that you have picked up Stevenson's 'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by mistake. You know the one where you perform like monsters for half an hour and then revert to normality and ordinariness, showing both facets of the team at a

By Chris Wright

Exiled former-Sky sex-pests Andy Gray and Richard Keys have a new Youtube channel that features short clips of themselves and their guests spouting their opinions about the week's footballing comings-and-goings from a park bench.

Yep, you read that correctly a park bench.

Mock the Weekend: The Fernando Torres Show is the best entertainment in the Premier League

The Spaniard scored before getting himself sent off for a horror tackle, while Mario Balotelli surprised us with a tender moment, and Armand Traore incurred Neil Warnock's wrath

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-09-26 07:39:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Premier League Twitter Q&A with correspondent Rob Stewart

Will Arsenal get back to winning ways? Can Fernando Torres banish the memory of his horror miss by scoring against Swansea? Get your questions in before 14:00 GMT

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-09-23 09:47:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Fernando Torres showed glimpses that he is returning back to his old self with a well taken goal against Manchester United earlier today, and then this happened... Early candidate for miss of the season... Sod it, that's worthy of closing the competition early Related posts:Didier Drogba, Romelu Lukaku or Fernando Torres Who Will Lead [.

Por snedecor
Nadie de los que lo vivimos podremos olvidar (voluntariamente al menos) dónde estábamos ni qué estábamos haciendo aquel fatídico 11 de septiembre de 2001. El deporte en general, y el fútbol en particular, tampoco. Para la historia quedará que, mientras el horror se iba apoderando de todo el planeta, incapaz de apartar su mirada de aquellos dos colosos reducidos a polvo y escombros, a un cementerio de más de tres mil almas, la UEFA decidió que los partidos de Champions de aquel martes se disputaran con normalidad, sin más atención a lo sucedido que un protocolario y vergonzoso minuto de silencio.

By Chris Wright

England did a football match against Wales last night. It wasn't particularly good, but they won 1-0 anyway chiefly because Ashley Young scored a goal and Robert Earnshaw, thankfully, spent the last few years under the tutelage of the Forest striker's coaches.

By Chris Wright

Paul Breitner: German box-to-box goliath of the 70′s and 80′s, World Cup winner, possessor of a long-range shot akin to amplified thunder, vocal socialist, 60-years young today and the once-proud owner of a full 360° of seamless Afro/beard hybrid head fuzz thus making him a bona fide Horror Hair legend.

Photo by Coachie Ballgames

The North American Soccer Almanac, an impressive introspective on MLS history, continues to drop fascinating content chronicling the game's growth in America and America's hat. The year 1996 may seem like eons ago, but Major League Soccer has since scaled heights thought impossible back then.

I'm not too up on RüFüS but I know a delicious slice of Australian techno-pop when I hear one. Seriously, put this in your iTunes right next to the rest of the Antipoean disco all-stars --Cut Copy, Midnight Juggernauts, Miami Horror, Empire of the Sun, Ladyhawke-- and pretend that summer will last forever.

That thigh muscle is only ever going to distract us from your horror barnet for so long, Peter. Images: Getty Images/Zimbio.

Even though there are a few of us in the Kickette office who abuse peroxide frequently enough to warrant threats of service revocation from our hairdressers, we don't condone similar crimes by boys.

The horror will be if Juan Mata scores the winning goal against Arsenal. At £23.6m, he's not that expensive. Chelsea acted decisively after Andre Villas- Boas was left unimpressed by their lack of cutting edge in the midfield in the Stoke opener.

He was keen on coming to the Emirates but Arsenal failed to make a bid in July.

The reaction of the commentators around the world irrespective of language or TV station was one of uniform horror as Jose Mourinho goes neanderthal on Barca assistant coach Tito Vilanova and then walks away smirking. Those Real Madrid players have a fine role model. Can you blame them for being sore losers?

Wow! Where to begin....

The Fire knew that Sunday's match was a must win. Instead of winning though, the team had their worst performance of the season, losing 4-2 in a game full of mistakes from both teams. The match was a terrible advertisement for MLS with dozens of misplaced passes, terrible refereeing decisions, and little creative play.