Welcome to Offbeat Wednesday, where we cover the wacky side of football! Today, read about the German National Team's bizarre new campaign, Mourinho's Carpark 'Me Time', Harry Kewell's Tennis Day Out and Guti's Holiday!

Now now, don't get all excited! You're not looking at the latest 80′s German pop band founded by Lothar Matthäus, but it's close to the truth.

Last August Melbourne Victory Chairman Anthony Di Pietro stated that the Club would be releasing Ricardinho at the conclusion of his loan deal from Parana Clube on December 31, 2011. At the time Victory were clearing the way for Harry Kewell and needed to free up the International Marquee spot which Ricardinho occupied.

Fantastic the football on the weekend.
Tucked into two games. Victory and Adelaide and Brisbane v Sydney.
What treats.
Harry Kewell turned back the clock with a wonderful performance, again. If Archie or Danny could have finished one or two of their Harry inspired chances Victory would have won.

The A-League's answer to Richard Dunne If new Melbourne Victory coach Jim Magilton was paying attention last weekend, he would have seen that the key to success in the A-League is simple: get out of the way of the opposition and leave them to it. The former Southampton, Ipswich and Northern Ireland midfielder was on [.

Fantastic game in Melbourne last night. Is it me or does this stadium lend itself to exciting games. Fast, furious and full of entertainment.
Is it the surface, or the proximity of the crowds?
Harry Kewell was superb in Melbourne last night as the Victory defeated the Jets 2-1.
Returning to his left wing position - wonder what Mehmet thought - Kewell simply did what everyone knows he can.

Melbourne Victory and LA Galaxy have played out a 2-2 draw in an exhibition match at Etihad Stadium tonight in front of 34,608 fans, but an unexpected penalty shootout was scheduled which Los Angeles won 4-3. Harry Kewell was left out of the squad in order to keep him well rested and injury free but the main

Today marks the first stage of the MLS Re-Entry Draft, the draft selection where players can be transferred to other teams if their option is declined by their original team. I'm expecting this first stage to be fairly uneventful. Montreal might pick up a player or two, but otherwise I'm expecting most teams to pass as they did last year.

Mike Cockerill got his FFA Award this week, and fair play to him. You do the time, 30 years - you get an award.
I'm no fan of Mike's football analysis, he knows that - his tactical and player movements on and around the park leave a lot to be desired for this football fan. I grew up in the UK!

Mike Cockerill got his FFA Award this week, and fair play to him. You do the time, 30 years - you get an award.
I'm no fan of Mike's football analysis, he knows that - his tactical and player movements on and around the park leave a lot to be desired for this football fan. I grew up in the UK!

Now Craig Foster and the like can ooze over Harry's nice touch, his nice pass - so can I - but come on Australia - how many has there been?
Is the Emperor wearing any clothes?
We all want Harry to do Harry stuff - but Carlos is outperforming him. If you want skill, touch and goals look to Carlos Hernandez.

Now Craig Foster and the like can ooze over Harry's nice touch, his nice pass - so can I - but come on Australia - how many has there been?
Is the Emperor wearing any clothes?
We all want Harry to do Harry stuff - but Carlos is outperforming him. If you want skill, touch and goals look to Carlos Hernandez.

Well, what a week its been at Melbourne Victory. Francis Awaritefe axed, continued rumours of splits in the Board, Harry Kewell hiring his own personal coach and intense speculation of Mehmet Durakovic's future. Despite the Club's stance that its not in crisis its quite obvious that there are many issues going on behind the scenes.

It started with Ernie - Mehmet inherited and added to the mess and now look where we are.
The Victory midfield has been a debacle since Fred left. His fast running midfield added much to Archie Thompson and a younger Danny Allsopp's firepower but how many years ago was that.
And was the style sustainable in Asia - or even the A-League.

I'm usually not one to brag but I said it time and time again during pre-season. Mehmet Durakovic's lack of experience is a real concern. Now, seven weeks into the new season we're seeing the results of that. Admittedly, if we wanted Harry Kewell we had to settle for a manager who would demand less

I'm usually not one to brag but I said it time and time again during pre-season. Mehmet Durakovic's lack of experience is a real concern. Now, seven weeks into the new season we're seeing the results of that. Admittedly, if we wanted Harry Kewell we had to settle for a manager who would demand less

With six rounds completed in this A-League season, things do not seem to be going as smoothly as we thought they would. All the glitz and glamour of the arrival of Harry Kewell, and pre season hype about our embarrassment of riches up front hasn't exactly come to fruition. The report card isn't exactly glowing

Check out the video and you'll know how to stop the Roar!
If you watched the recent Wellington Roar game you'll have seen Ivan Franjic played in time and time again a la the above video training drill. Four men in the box, the ball played back or across to a Roar player.
In the drill there were only defenders - against Wellington and Victory there were 7 or 8!

Harry Kewell and Sheree Murphy walked the black carpet outside the opening of Shane Warne's new club, Club 23, at Crown Casino in Melbourne. Image taken 7.11.2011.

Good evening. A fair bit to talk about today so I'll start with the latest news. Holger Osieck has named his 23 man squad for Australia's World Cup Qualifiers this month, calling up Harry Kewell in the process. Brett Emerton has also been given the nod. Its an interesting move considering Harry's (and Emerton's) rather

Harry Kewell and Carlos Hernandez have been called up for Australia and Costa Rica respectively, for matches in November. Australia face Oman on the 11th and Thailand on the 15th in crucial World Cup Qualifiers. Australia coach Holger Osieck says he knows what Kewell can bring to the team but that he will need to

FFA came under a lot of fire over the last couple of years as they put all their attention and resources into the World Cup Bid, at the expense of a still fragile national league sitting in an over-subscribed professional sporting arena.
Now it seems things are improving.
We had the season changes, and like the AFL and NRL, some key planning has gone into making noise at the right times.

If someone had said to me back in February that Melbourne Victory would sign Harry Kewell for season seven of the A-League, naturally, I wouldn't have believed them. Now that we're just over 24 hours away from our first game of the new campaign, with Kewell in the team, I still have to pinch myself.

Do you remember when we used to make hard work of Oman?
With Harry Kewell, Brett Emerton, Tim Cahill, Vinny Grella all English based in the line-up.
Three times we played them in the last four years - three times we struggled - really struggled.
This time with a bunch of so-called lesser names, younger boys, we waltz it.

Video: We love Stevie G

We asked famous names like Ricky Hatton, John Bishop, Joey Barton and Harry Kewell for their favourite Steven Gerrard moments and opened the debate on whether he could now be labelled the greatest Liverpool player ever...

View the full story here: Liverpool FC

A news article on 2011-10-04 12:48:41 from: Liverpool FC

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

We've performed some amazing acrobatics during our early drinking days, with about half of all slippery spills involving steps of some kind.

Okay, we're lying. We fall all the time intoxicated or not.

But as repeat offenders, we know how falling down the stairs is no laughing matter.

Now the A-league has just two players this year, Harry and Emmo, so it should be more interesting everyone tells me.
Well with Matthew Leckie, Marcus Flores and others having left who are the fellas who the Nearpost is particularly looking forward to seeing take to the field in Season 7:
Melbourne Victory - Of course Harry Kewell, but I'm as interested to see how the young Kiwi Marco Rojas goes.

Waiting for Harry - not even a game on!
Harry also got 10 minutes or so on the Melbourne AFL TV footy show during the week in the middle of the AFL Finals series - despite the (usual) odd comment from the commentator who said he didn't really like or watch soccer - tv audience, clearly mad AFL fans were really pleased to see Harry.

Waiting for Harry - not even a game on!
Harry also got 10 minutes or so on the Melbourne AFL TV footy show during the week in the middle of the AFL Finals series - despite the (usual) odd comment from the commentator who said he didn't really like or watch soccer - tv audience, clearly mad AFL fans were really pleased to see Harry.

Saturday

- Harry Kewell and his LV luggage were met with cheers from Melbourne Victory fans, who greeted the footballer and his accessories at Melbourne airport ahead of his stint with their beloved A-League team. Snazzy!

- We missed seeing her on Friday , but on Saturday were happy to see a healthy and vibrant Noemie Lenoir smiling for cameras at Ungaro's Fashion Night Out party (two days prior) in Paris.

Football fans label Coaches crap or brilliant.
Jose Mourinho used to be brilliant, now he's second he's well...less so.
Alex Ferguson is always brilliant - he always wins, whereas Neil Lennon is crap - he comes second - add in Vitaslev Lavicka - season 1 brilliant, season 2 crap.
Ange Postecoglou is now brilliant and despite losing heaps of players in Season 1 and beginning of Season 2 if he's not top of the league after three games he'll be.

Pregnant 'Hollyoaks' soap actress, Sheree Murphy, showed off her thin, pregnant pins outside Alex Gerrard's baby shower at the plush Vincent Hotel in Southport. Harry Kewell's wife (pregnant with the couple's 4th) was accompanied by Cricket Boutique shop owner, Justine Mills, and a smorgasbord of gender neutral wrapped presents.

We'll need a squad to see us through to Brazil, a big squad. So no problems for all you Tim Cahill fans, he'll be there to the end.
But is Tim a certain starter in the Australian football team?
Not in my book - not anymore. Now before I get smashed by all you Timmaay fans let's take a look at my reasoning.

Harry's coming home, have you heard?
And he'll be here on Monday morning around 6am. Calm down.

John Aloisi: helping or hurting? - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

With A-League clubs beginning to convince the younger and fitter members of Australia's golden generation to return to antipodean shores, the moves come with a warning from the country's favourite penalty-taker, John Aloisi.

This summer, Liverpool have again made crucial signings aimed at addressing key failures from last season – but there's no massive change there.
Every close season since Roy Evan's reign, Liverpool have signed "the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle", be it Harry Kewell, Fernando Morientes, Fernando Torres, or most recently Joe Cole.

By Gina Baldassarre, writing from Sydney

After a tiring, drawn-out saga, a contract has finally been signed, the dust is beginning to settle, and the prodigal son is coming home. And no, I'm not actually talking about Cescgate.

That's right my friends, those of us living down under have had twice the transfer drama to keep us on the edge of our seats this winter.

With the A-League teetering along last year football was heading back to the future.
Despite the move into Asia, a successful Asia Cup campaign, the rise of the Matildas and the increasing number of Young Guns pushing into the Socceroos and starring in the A-League moving to Europe and Asia, football still lacked any sense of security or money for our A-League clubs to survive, never mind to move ahead.

Cashed up and paranoid AFL have another wee problem to solve.
Delighted when they assisted to sabotage the World Cup bid, ecstatic when the recent growth of professional football was halted; if A-League crowds and failing teams/owners is anything to go by; the all powerful AFL must have thought they'd thwarted football expansion.

Cashed up and paranoid AFL have another wee problem to solve.
Delighted when they assisted to sabotage the World Cup bid, ecstatic when the recent growth of professional football was halted; if A-League crowds and failing teams/owners is anything to go by; the all powerful AFL must have thought they'd thwarted football expansion.

Entering its second season, Melbourne Heart FC will be looking to improve upon its 8th place finish in the 2010/11 Australian A-League. Featuring several players with recent Australia junior and senior national team call-ups, the club was recently linked with veteran Socceroo and former Liverpool FC midfielder Harry Kewell.