If you've ever wanted to see Hibernian striker Jason Cummings strip down to his underpants and grapple like his very life depends on it, then this one's for you.
With his slightly suspect wrestling moniker scrawled across his bare chest, 'Cum Dog' taped himself up, stuffed his trunks accordingly and went striding into the arena as hisfearsome entrance music (Like A Prayer by Madonna) blared out from his stereo.
Randolph definitely needs to work on his Five Star Frog Splash
As unlikely a Twitter conversation as you're ever likely to witness took place yesterday when WWE veteran Chris Jericho offered some sage advice to West Ham's goalkeeper on his submission technique.
It was prompted whenthe Hammers when the shared a video of Darren Randolph locking in the 'Walls of Jericho' on Michail Antonio during a training session, tagging WWE talent scout Triple H into the message for good measure.
Pin-up in waiting: Vinnie Jones during his Wimbledon days
Having made his name at the thinking man's nutcase at Wimbledon, Vinnie Jones made the leap to Leeds United before the1989/90 season.
Jones arrived amida frenetic £2million summer spending frenzy that saw manager Howard Wilkinson splurge on the likes of Mel Sterland, John Hendrie and Jim Beglin.
Given his reaction you'd be forgiven for thinking that Toulouse coach Pascal Dupraz had cheated death during Friday night's Ligue 1 tie with Rennes.
While stood in his technical area, a paper plane was thrown down from the crowd only to land perilously close to Dupraz with the sonic boom created by the jet's crash-landing causing him to spiral into delerium.
Before Leicester City stormed the grand UEFA citadel, you have to go right back to 1995 for the last time a "small" Premier League sidefound their way into the Champions League.
Thankfully, reigning champions Blackburn Rovers did the nation proud by finishing slap, bang, bottom of their group and crashing out at the first hurdle.
For the uninitiated, The Real Football Factories was a documentary series that first aired on Bravo in 2006 that saw actor Danny Dyer (Cockney for hire) travelling around Britain to meet and mingle with some of football's most notorious hooligan firms.
Dyer did his best to integrate with these nutters by presenting himself to them as a 'pwopa nawty' boozed-up street urchin while all the while giving off the air perhaps literally, we'll never know of a man desperately attempting to keep his trembling apprehension concealed.
There were depressing scenes at the end of Saturday'sWelsh Premier League game between Cefn Druids and Caernarfon Town when players and fans came to blows in the terraces.
Third place Druids were soundly thrashed 7-0 by table-toppers Caernarfon. To make matters worse, they ended the game with ten men on the pitch after having a player dismissed for a reported head-butt.
By Joseph Viney (@jjviney)
Arsenal fans have a deserved reputation for being just a *little* bit cringey. If they're not screaming "WENGER OUT!" after not scoring in the first 15 seconds of a game, then the continued presence of Arsenal Fan TV is certain to provide you withenough painfully induced squirms tokeep you going for several days.
With just a couple of points between themselves and Ajax at the top of the table, things are obviously beginning to get a little tense in the PSV camp as the Eredivisie title race rollson apace.
With an hour or so gone and the game still frustratingly goalless, PSV full-back Santiago Arias did his side no favours by picking up a second yellow for clambering all over Willem II defender Guus Joppen.
Not that they needed it in the end, but Leicester City had a fair old shout for a penalty against Crystal Palace this afternoon when Scott Dann had a wee tug on Robert Huth's shirt in a crowded 18-yard box.
Of course, when we say 'wee tug' what we actually mean is 'forcefully yanked Huth's jersey clean off his body'.
We're still not convinced that the addition of Howard Webb to the BT Sport coverage has really worked, with the former Premier League referee's sporadic, dull input rarely enlightening. However, after Manchester United's Europa League clash with Liverpool on Thursday night, Webb got animated and really laid into Marouane Fellaini.
Despite the utter ridiculousness of fisticuffs on a football pitch, you can't beat a good old fashioned brawl for a bit of extra entertainment. In Russia's second-tier, FC Sibir Novosibirsk and Torpedo Moscow produced a classic mass brawl after a controversial late penalty decision.
With FC Sibir agoal up late on, Torpedo Moscow were awarded a controversial penalty kick, which they duly converted.
"We all read the newspapers"
Never the most technically adeptstriker, John Fashanu tended to make up for anyshortcomings in finesse bywhat's known in the trade as 'putting it about a bit'.
A deeply cerebral and spiritual man, Fashanu sought to intellectualise his lumpen stylebykidding himself thathis violently-chucked elbows were a staunch elementof his profound martial arts expertise.
You may know him as Real Madrid's residentelbow-chucking, toe-stamping, referee-baiting hatchet man, but Pepe is keen to show the world that he's not an animal entirely as Valentine's Day rolls around.
Indeed, the Portuguese defender has sought to show the world his softer side by appearing in a new short, tinkling the ivories amid the rose petals while reciting a loving ode to the thing he loves most in the world his Umbro boots, i.
As unlikely as it sounds, Saturday evening's pre-season 'friendly' between Boca Juniors and River Plate ended up a sparsely populated affair after no less than five players were dismissed before the final whistle.
Boca managed to add to the two players they had sent off during their midweek defeat against Racing Club by having a further three men dismissed against River, defensive trioJonathan Silva, Gino Peruzzi and Daniel Diaz all being red cardedat various intervals of the tumultuous Torneos de Verano fixture.
After over a decade hackingandslashing his way around Europe, Felipe Melo moved back home to Brazil last week by way ofa three-year contract with Palmeiras.
The midfielder joins on an initial six-month loan from Inter Milan, which will automatically turn into a permanent move when his contract with the Nerazzurri expires this coming July.
Some two years in the making, Tino Asprilla has finally launches his very own brand of condoms.
After the concept was originally begun by one of his friends, the former Newcastle striker has thrown his girth behind a new line of 'Tino' sheaths available in his native Colombia.
According to reports from Italy, Udinese captain Danilo Larangeira rather lost it during training recently, with his behaviour leaving not one, not two but three of his team-mates needing treatment.
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The Brazilian defender apparently went on a tough-tackling spree during a training session, with Iraqi international Ali Adnan, Venezuelan forward Adalberto Penaranda and Francesco Lodi all left injured and needing attention from the club's medical staff.
OGC Nice coach Lucien Favre revealed that he substituted Mario Balotelli at half-time of his side's Europa League defeat against Krasnodar was suffering from a sore throat.
Balotelli scored with a smart finish just a few minutes before the break but was replaced by Alassane Plea at the break after failing to shake off his game-ending bout of sniffles.
Not that it'll come as a major surprise to anybody who actually watched the match, but Cesc Fabregas has been accused of instigating the hostility that pervaded the 2-2 draw between Chelsea and Tottenham that handed the title to Leicester City on Monday night.
The tempestuous game was flecked with various momentsof ill-discipline.
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In one of the most explosive and defining incidents of the Premier League era, it was 21 years ago today (doesn't that make you feel old all of a sudden?) that Manchester UnitedforwardEric Cantona launched himself over the advertising hoardingsat a Palace fan who had heckling him from the terraces.
He may be a big, strapping lump of a man now but Olivier Giroud has admitted that, as an impressionable 10-year-old, he developed an irrational fear of 1980s sitcom puppet ALF.
Discussing the phobia in the Arsenal programme for today's big ding-dong with Tottenham, Giroud revealed that his young soul was tormented by the very existence of ALF, the cat-eating alien star of the American sci-fi sitcom of the same name.
Photo: Mark Thompson/Getty Images
Such is his wont, Danny Mills has gone in hard on Robert Pires and accused the French winger of being solely responsible for introducing diving to English football when he pitched up at Arsenal.
Wibbling on in his Times column, Mills parped:
It is true that there was no love lost between me and Pires.
With 20 minutes of an incredibly bad-tempered FA Cup fourth round tie at Highbury remaining, Dennis Bergkamp found himself red-carded for a decidedly 'stampy' challengeonJamie Carragher out near the touchline.
Bergkamp's dismissal proved to be an instant flashpoint, with one particularly incensed Arsenal fan pelting a coin at Carragher.
With his face suitably creosoted and his torsosuitably meaty, Tim Wiese made his long-awaited in-ring WWE debut at an event in Frankfurt last night.
The ex-Werder Bremen goalkeeper, 34, teamed up with established stars Cesaro and Sheamus and emerged victorious in a tag match against Bo Dallas and the Shining Stars should that mean anything to you.
Glory be, for the day that was promised is now finally upon us. Tim Wiese, formerly of German goalkeeping fame, is now a full-time WWE employee.
Having completed his transformation from Hoffenheim 'keeper to looking like a large, bulbousorange leather sofa, Wiese has accepted an offer from Paul 'Triple H' Levesque (who currently serves as the WWE's vice-president of talent) to join their Performance Centre in Florida for an "extended period of training".
You may recall, not so very long ago, when we featured a passage from Paul Sturrock's autobiography in which the former Plymouth Argyle manager regaled us with an amusing (if a little stiff) anecdote about former striker Emile Mpenza.
Long assumed to be an urban myth, Sturrock confirmed that, among his long list of injury excuses, Mpenza once refused to attend a Plymouth training session as his Viagra hadn't worn off from the night before.
Photos: Popperfoto/Pete Norton/Getty Images
There was a time, just before the *real* money began to roll in, where Manchester City apparently made it their modus operandi to sign a sustained succession of dreadful, goal-shy strikers.
Before the arrival of Robinho changed their fortunes forever, City brought in the likes of Bernardo Corradi, Rolando Bianchi, Valeri Bojinov, Felipe Caicedo, Benjani Mwaruwari, Nery Castillo and so on and so forth all of whom failed to make convincing contributions to the cause.
Photo: Getty Images
It would appear that what surely must've started as a grog-fuelled wager just before kicking-out time is slowly becoming a reality, with the news that the makers of the seemingly-imminent Jamie Vardy movie are keen to start making casting decisions.
Indeed, the Leicester Mercury are reporting that screenwriter and producer Adrian Butchart is keento go along with a poll ran by the newspaper, that saw readers vote Vinnie Jones as the actorthey want to see bring ex-Foxes manager Nigel Pearson to life on the big screen.
Now for some real good news. For the first time since being diagnosed with acute leukaemia four years ago, Stiliyan Petrov is back training with the first team at Aston Villa.
The club had previously confirmed that Petrov was part of the squad they took to Austria for a fitness camp earlier in the month.
Stiliyan Petrovhas revealed that he's harbouring serious ambitions of rejoining Aston Villa as a player next season after successfully overcoming leukaemia.
Petrov was reluctantly forced to announce his early retirement in May 2013 after being diagnosed the previous March, but since getting the all-clear the Bulgarian scrapper has been busy building his fitness back up, firstly with his local over-35s Sunday League team and subsequently by training with the Villa Under-21 side.
'The Stopper' in action (Photo: Press Association)
Former Liverpool and Leicester City goalkeeper Pegguy Arphexad has finally responded to a long-standing internet rumour abouthis purported post-football career as an adult film star.
As the rumour in questionhad it, Arphexad starred in a porn movie under the pseudonym 'The Stopper' after retiring from football in 2005.
At the peak of his powers, Paul Incerepresented several of the biggest clubs in European football, not to mention his countryon more than 50 occasions.
Indeed, Ince had the honour of playing alongside an entire constellation of 1990s stars, including the likes of Youri Djorkaeff, Eric Cantona, Roberto Carlos, Bryan Robson, Ryan Giggs, Javier Zanetti, Roy Keane, Robbie Fowler, Tony Adams, Paul Gascoigne and Alan Shearer.
As you may recall, the recent European Championships in France were plagued by outbreaks of hooliganism, not least in Marseille where hordes of Russian yobs staged organisedattacks on groups of England fans.
However, as the rest of the world poured scorn on the perpetrators, one man spoke out in support of the hooligans: that man wasRussian politician Igor Lebedev.
Having attained legendary status at Everton by pummelling his way to the top, Duncan Ferguson has now settled into a more sedate coachingrole at the club.
During a chat with The Times about his new, mellower professionalpersona, Big Dunc (a self-confessed "big softie" these days) was asked to namethe three toughest opponentshe came up against during his playing days.
Once upon a time, Vincent Peter Jones was one of the very hardest, most intimidating nuts in football, gnawing onthe ankles of namby-pamby strikers (and innocent children) for sustenance.
He then, somewhat unexpectedly, made the jump to acting where he swiftly became the go-to guy if Hollywood ever needed a granite-jawed East End thug.
German second tier side SV Sandhausen have secured a sponsorship deal that is certain to go down well with a certain section of their supporters namely the 'sex-starved perv' demographic.
Sandhausen recently announced that they have successfully agreed a commercial partnership deal with local brothelBienenstock Eros Centre (which translates as 'Beehive'), which is located in the neighbouring town ofHeidelberg.
Roy Keane has revealed the precise manner in which he'd deal with Eden Hazard were he playing alongside him at Chelsea, and it shouldn't come as much of a surprise to anybody familiar with the former Manchester United midfielder's ways and means.
Keane went in hard on Hazard while discussing his questionable commitment to the cause this after the Belgian winger had openly stated he'd be keen on a move to PSG the very day before his current club took on the French giants in the Champions League on Tuesday night.
With Southampton nursing a slim 1-0 lead at the time, Victor Wanyama went and made his teammates' collective afternoon all the more difficult by picking up his thirdred card of the seasonin the 55th minute against West Ham for taking a reckless swipe at Dimitri Payet.
Having opened the scoring in the early knockings of the match, Maya Yoshida saw his work load doubled when Wanyama went thundering in on Payet and, as such, is seeking amends from the Kenyan midfielder specifically in the form of expensive, gunky and saccharine-sweet dough treats.
"Fancy a Gordons ma'am?"
In his current employas Sky Sports' resident stone-facedmiserablist, you'd be forgiven for thinking Graeme Souness utterly incapable of mirth or brevity.
However, the man has proved he is able to comprehenda world beyond slack zonal marking in a (relatively) light-hearted 'Who Am I?