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Manchester United goalkeeper Anders Lindegaard is still getting to grips with the Premier League
vernacular. When he was told he was going up the Arsenal this afternoon, he got completely the
wrong end of the stick. Just ask Wayne Rooney.
A cheeky chappie It was only a week ago that Arsenal and Wolves fans were loving the sight of
Emmanuel Frimpong cutting down Rafael van der Vaart to size by smashing the ball into the
Dutchman's face. Football karma, it appears, does not take long to act. Yesterday, in defending a
corner against Aston Villa, [.
One schoolboy had his moment of glory during a kickabout with John Terry when he volleyed the ball
at the England captain's nuts. The ball sat up nicely to present the youngster with a chance that
many people up and down the country would relish. The Chelsea man clearly felt the impact, although
he was [.
Pill-ow talk Freiburg's club doctor has revealed he once received a 3am phonecall from a player who
wanted to check he wouldn't be breaking doping rules by taking Viagra. Doctor Andreas Aust proved
he has plenty of patience for his patients by taking the call and giving the mystery player the
all-clear to play the [.
Won on the lips Fan kiss a player right on the mouth by Anatolly7 Sunderland striker Ji Dong-Won
got an unsolicited introduction to the passion of English football with a post-goal snog from a
persistent fan. The South Korean starlet found himself on the receiving end of some love from a
Black Cats supporter after [.
Bale love-in takes physical turn Gareth Bale was the star of the show as Tottenham eased past
Norwich in a relative stroll in the park last night. In an attempt to get some sort of revenge,
Richie De Laet decided to do to Bale what the Welshman had been metaphorically doing to the Norwich
defence [..
Frank Lampard was strolling past team-mate Fernando Torres to take his place on the Chelsea bench
during last night's match against Spurs when the Spaniard's prone buttocks proved too much of a
temptation. Lamps had to have a quick feel of Torres' bum. Manager Andre Villas Boas had already
had a slightly less tender slap [.
No more dogging We've come to expect all sorts of things to happen from players and fans alike in
the joyous moments after a goal has been scored. But as far as we can remember, this is the first
time when a Premier League player has celebrated a goal within touching distance of a fan [...]
It's nothing we haven't seen before Brazilian star Ronaldinho's biggest headlines in recent months
have come not from his performances on the pitch, but his performances on his webcam. As such, the
Flamengo man came in for a lot of pre-match verbal from the crowd ahead of his side's match against
Vasco Da Gama last [.
A silly booking You know how continental referees love to deliver their yellow cards with a bit of
a flourish? Well, German official Florian Meyer hadn't counted on the blustery conditions generated
by the Britannia Stadium's missing corners when he tried to show off during tonight's Europa League
match between Stoke and Dynamo Kiev.
Hands on coach Arsene Wenger has always been praised for the revolutionary training regimes he
brought to English football, but this is a new one on us. There's no indication of whether the
whole squad takes part in this exercise or whether it's Alex Song's special way of securing a
starting berth in the Gunners' [.
Joga Bonito A video showing Brazilian star Ronaldinho, erm, working on his solo skills has been
leaked. The footage of the ex-Barcelona star and his laptop enjoying some alone time in the
bathroom were posted on YouTube and, although the original video has since been removed, has now
spread around the internet.
Smooch from Pep Aw, isn't that nice. OTP is not convinced there were too many kisses after a few of
the tackles had flown in early in last night's match between AC Milan and Barcelona. We know there
must be genuine affection between Pep Guardiola and Massimiliano Allegri because Pep can be quite
choosy about [.
Smooch from Pep Aw, isn't that nice. OTP is not convinced there were too many kisses after a few of
the tackles had flown in early in last night's match between AC Milan and Barcelona. We know there
must be genuine affection between Pep Guardiola and Massimiliano Allegri because Pep can be quite
choosy about [.
Model professional We hope this doesn't spell the end of Chris Smalling's fledgling Manchester
United career. OTP has seen the pattern before: young starlet starts doing slightly effeminate
photoshoots and then BAM! Fergie kicks a boot at your head and you're on your way to Real Madrid.
Smalling has risked those outcomes to don eye [.
Background backside Real Madrid's official photographer captured this photo of the players
celebrating Cristiano Ronaldo's late winner against Valencia on Saturday. And it captured the
moment so wonderfully that the club website wasn't going to let the presence of a stray Valencian
arse stop it being used.
Iran: where Vinnie Jones would be public enemy number one Two Iranian players have been suspended
after touching up their team-mates during goal celebrations. Persepolis defender Mohammed Nosrati
can be seen feeling the bottom of teammate Sheis Rezaei in the video above. Rezaei later squeezed
the backside of another teammate in the match against Damash [.
Heerenveen star Sven Kums gave the statisticians something to worry about in his side's match
against Utrecht. The 'left leg', 'right leg' and 'header' columns were all left blank as Kums fired
in from 17 yards with his penis. The gang at 101GG inform us that in Holland this is called a
"snikkelgoal".
Snubbed How must this guy be feeling today after being rejected by Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola
at the official inauguration of the club's Masia training complex? The first time we see Guardiola
in this video, he's having a kiss and cuddle with a man in a suit. He then moves along and receives
another kiss [.
Together they are: Tony Bennett Norwich's match against Swansea on Saturday had already been
pencilled in as a relegation six-pointer, so imagine the Canaries' delight when they took the lead
within the first minute. Elliott Bennett was overcome with emotion and the sight of a prone Anthony
Pilkington was too good to refuse.
Soccer strip USA women's goalkeeper Hope Solo is one of a handful of sports stars to get their kit
off for ESPN magazine's Body Issue. Her appearance is indicative of her rising stock in the States,
and perhaps the increasing prominence of the USWNT (as they are irritatingly dubbed!). Solo: "I
still don't buy the [.
Ball control Ronaldinho presumably didn't notice the photographer hovering over his shoulder as he
decided to, erm, work on his individual skills during training. Via Bola Nas Costas
The erotic ghost Chile coach Claudio Borghi has compared watching Andres Iniesta play to 'an erotic
dream'. While most people would agree that Barcelona are the most enjoyable team to watch at the
moment, it sounds like Borghi gets more enjoyment than most. According to Goal.com: "Iniesta is
like an erotic dream.
Off-pitch action Two Bayern Munich fans were ejected from the stadium during their side's drab 0-0
draw at Hoffenheim after being caught having sex during the match. The randy couple managed just 16
minutes of the goalless encounter before opting for an encounter of their own. Despite being in the
middle of the crowd and [.
A corker from Champagne Charlie If you thought you knew the reasons for Carlos Tevez's fallout with
Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini, think again. You only know half the story. Here's Sky
Sports pundit Charlie Nicholas to fill you in on the finer details. Spotted on Pies
Up the R's As we all know, Stiliyan Petrov's hands are well known for their miraculous touch. On
Sunday, QPR defender Anton Ferdinand felt the benefit of the Saint's healing hands during his
regular early season prostate check-up.
Under the Kosc Arsenal defender Laurent Koscielny had a nasty clash of heads with Bolton striker
David Ngog during Saturday's match. The confused Frenchman needed to be comforted and, in his dazed
state, discovered that he wanted to hold hands with the Gunners' physio Colin Lewin. Lewin was only
too happy to oblige and nuzzled [.
Under the Kosc Arsenal defender Laurent Koscielny had a nasty clash of heads with Bolton striker
David Ngog during Saturday's match. The confused Frenchman needed to be comforted and, in his dazed
state, discovered that he wanted to hold hands with the Gunners' physio Colin Lewin. Lewin was only
too happy to oblige and nuzzled [.
Who says nobody takes the Carling Cup seriously? Relatively speaking, Johnny Phillips is probably
just about Sky Sports News' most straight-laced roving reporter. Well, that was until a bunch of
Charlton fans decided to turn his update from the Addicks' Carling Cup match against Reading into a
low-budget adult film.
Senderos gets lost in translation... we think Fulham defender Philippe Senderos gave some insight
into why Joey Barton is not the most popular figure among his fellow professionals by revealing a
rather unusual tackling technique live on ESPN. Senderos said: "I think with Joey Barton you know
what to expect.
Bayern Moonich Bayern Munich striker Mario Gomez showed fans a bit more than they had bargained for
during his side's Audi Cup match against AC Milan tonight. In true playground tradition, Gomez was
kegged by Alessandro Nesta. The Italian defender was uncharacteristically sloppy in allowing Gomez
to nick the ball from him, so adopted enforced [.
Put it away, Martin There were plenty of people tuning into last night's Copa America final hoping
to see some post-match nudity. Paraguay's defeat meant Larissa Riquelme didn't have to keep her
promise to strip on the pitch. Instead the viewing public had to make do with a nude Martin
Caceres. The Sevilla defender provided [.
English homophobia: uniting Brazilians and Finns Finnish football descended into a bout of
televised homophobia this week. The match between KuPS and HJK featured HJK's Brazilian star
Rafinha testing his language skills on opponent Pexi Oravainen. He was caught on camera unleashing
a torrent of homophobic abuse towards the KuPS.
Dressing room for dressing; pitch for playing We're not sure whether coming on as a substitute for
Brazil's under 17 team in their match against Australia last night came as a bit of a surprise to
Nathan, or whether he is just a forgetful person by nature. Either way, it seems the youngster is
still [.
Refereeing cock-up We have covered some weird and wonderful stories on Off The Post over the years,
but this might just be the weirdest yet. Macclesfield-born Aaron Eccleston, of Melbourne side Old
Hill Wanderers reserves, was red-carded at the weekend for having his penis pierced. Little Aaron's
bling was deemed so offensive that the referee [.
What is that? Switzerland cruised to a 3-0 win against Belarus despite their opponents'
diversionary tactics. Belarus captain Mikhail Sivakov tried to put the Swiss side off their stride
by showing them his third nipple. Despite their obvious intrigue and fear, Switzerland managed to
put the sight out of mind on continue on their way [.
The media Hokey Cokey, with Chile's national team Chile's media took advantage of their short-lived
increase in access to their national team by snapping the squad stripping midfielder Roberto
Cereceda on the training ground. New coach Claudio Borghi wanted to open up to the media more than
predecessor Marcelo Bielsa and, as part of that [.
Man marking Manchester City team-mates Gareth Barry and Joe Hart have been enjoying a lads holiday
in Las Vegas. They have been involved in such rough-and-tumble activities as applying sun cream to
each other. Eager to ensure Hart remained a Blue and didn't turn Red, Barry gladly rubbed the
lotion into his team-mate's back.
Nudist Mestalla There is often tabloid whispers about naked footballers having a viral effect on
the public, and that's certainly the intention of this advert from Valencia. In a bid to flog their
new home shirt, the Spanish side have convinced some of their star players to strip for this video.
Roberto Soldado and Joaquin [.
