Ronaldinho Nonchalantly Scores From Inside Own Half During Brazilian Exhibition Match (Video)

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While not officially retired from professional football, Ronaldinho is mainly keeping his eye in these days by playing futsal and taking part in endless exhibition matches.

On Sunday afternoon, the 37-year-old Brazilian icon turned out in a benefit match at the Pacaembu Stadium in Sao Paulo, where he once again delighted the punters with an effervescent cavalcade of skills and finesse.

Premier League: Bournemouth Hotshot Jermain Defoe Scores Outrageous First-Time Looper Against Crystal Palace (Video)

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Bournemouth striker Jermain Defoe kept his incredible scoring record against Crystal Palace going at the Vitality Stadium with his third brace in a row against the Eagles.

The first came to open the scoring after 10 minutes, though the second, which came three minutes into first-half injury time, will be the one that people remember.

Brazil: Roberto Carlos Admits His Famous ‘Banana’ Freekick Against France In 1997 Was A Wind-Assisted Fluke

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Like arriving at the stark realisation that the middle-aged man doling out Kinder Eggs and cuddles in the back of his boarded up Transit van probably wasn't the Easter Bunny after all, Roberto Carlos has delivered a thundering hammer blow to Pies' already faltering grasp of all we assume to be true.

Champions League: Antoine Griezmann Scores Belting Overhead Kick As Atletico Madrid Keep Faint Qualification Hopes Alive (Photo & Video)

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Atletico Madrid kept their faint hopes of squeezing through to the Champions League knockout stages alive with a 2-0 win over Roma at the Metropolitano on Wednesday night.

The home side took until the 69th minute to make the break through when Antoine Griezmann dispatched Angel Correa's cut-back with a handsome overhead kick.

On This Day In 2012: Zlatan Ibrahimovic Tears Joe Hart Asunder With Phenomenal Overhead Kick Against England (Video)

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Today marks the fourth anniversary of the fateful night that Zlatan Ibrahimovic trampled roughshod over England, scoring all four goals in a mountainous performance at the epicentre of Sweden's 4-2 friendly victory in Stockholm.

England's wafer-thin side contained such luminaries as Steven Caulker, Tom Cleverly, Leon Osman, Tom Huddlestone and poor old Ryan Shawcross who, making his international debut as a late substitute, suffered miserably at the hands of a soaring Zlatan and was never called up again thereafter.

Trajectory: Marcos Asensio Rattles Home Gorgeous Half-Volley In Real Madrid’s 3-0 Win Over Las Palmas (Video)

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Real Madrid signed off for the international break with a comfortable 3-0 win over Las Palmas in which Marco Asensio added yet another scorcher to his portfolio of seemingly effortless golazos.

After Casemiro had put Los Blancos ahead just before the break, Asensio drubbed home a second shortly after the restart, driving Raul Lizoain's loose punch back past him with an exquisite half-volley into the top corner with minimal back-lift.

England Stride Into Under-17 World Cup Final Thanks To Second Successive Rhian Brewster Hat-Trick (Photos & Video)

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England's younglings are continuing to go great guns, with the Under-17s barrelling their way into a World Cup final on Wednesday afternoon.

This coming just three months after their Under-20 stablemates beat Venezuela to snare England's first World Cup honours since 1966 out in South Korea.

Europa League: Olivier Giroud Scores 84th-Minute Overhead Kick As Arsenal Squeak 1-0 Win Over Red Star Belgrade (Video)

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It took 84 minutes of featureless drudge, but a decidedly second-string Arsenal eventually made the breakthrough against Red Star Belgrade or Crvena Zvezda if you prefer to maintain their flawless start to the Europa League group stage on Thursday evening.

Four years to the very day that Olivier Giroud and Jack Wilshere combined to score that beautiful 'Wengerball' goal against Norwich, the pair were reunited and back at it amid fairly hostile conditions in Belgrade.

World Cup Qualifying: Leon Goretzka Scores Audacious Back-Heel As Germany Sign Off With 5-1 Trouncing Of Azerbaijan (Video)

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Having already sealed their place at the World Cup, holders Germany put the finishing touch on their flawless Group C qualification campaign by signing off with a tenth win in ten outings a 5-1 demolition job of Azerbaijan.

Leon Goretzka opened the scoring in style with just eight minutes on the clock, the Schalke midfielder demonstrating excellent technique to squeeze a back-heel up and into the top corner from close range.

Majestic: England Fan Provides Highlight Of The Night By ‘Scoring’ With Paper Aeroplane At Wembley (Video)

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Bored senseless by England's dreary performance against Slovenia last night, one supporter endeavoured to keep themselves entertained by making a paper aeroplane out of their match programme and sending it gliding out on the Wembley zephyrs.

However, the fan in question could have hardly hoped for a better pay-off as the aforementioned plane drifted down over the stands, with many fellow fans cottoning on and watching on eagerly as it soared majestically into the back of the net.

Tempting Fate: Cocky Goalkeeper Gets His Comeuppance In Tanzanian Local League Match (Video)

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With his side leading 1-0 and 20 minutes left to play, one Tanzanian goalkeeper decided that a bit of cocky time-wasting was in order.

After parrying a powerful freekick, the stopper began toying with the opposing striker by waiting until the last moment to pick the ball up.

Alas, the striker's reactions were just that split-second faster.

Champions League: Napoli’s Lorenzo Insigne Make Amusing Cock-Up While Attempting Heartfelt Shirt Tribute (Video)

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Napoli took just seven minutes to go 1-0 up against Feyenoord on Tuesday evening, giving scorer Lorenzo Insigne the chance to perform his homage to injured teammate Arkadiusz Milik.

The Polish striker is facing a minumum of four months out after undergoing major knee surgery for the second time in as many seasons.

Champions League: Gareth Bale Rattles In Superb Side-Foot Volley As Real Madrid Squash Dortmund (Video)

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Real Madrid made it two wins from two in Group H of the Champions League with a comprehensive 3-1 victory over Borussia Dortmund on Tuesday evening.

Cristiano Ronaldo scored twice to take his superhuman Los Blancos goal tally to 411 in 400 appearances, but the goal of the night was definitely the opener, lashed home by Gareth Bale in the 18th minute.

Lithuania: FC Stumbras Striker Kgaogelo Mapemba Finds Absolute Toppest Of All Top Corners With Impeccable 20-Yard Drive (Video)

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There's a good chance you missed the outcome of the tie between Lithuanian opponents FC Stumbras II and FK Pakruojis on Saturday evening, so allow us to fill you in.

Stumbras won 3-0 and 19-year-old South African striker Kgaogelo Mapemba scored an absolute ripper to top off the rout, finding the very toppest top corner from the edge of the box.

Serie A: Dries Mertens Scores Exquisitely Perfect Lob As Napoli Stick Four Past Lazio At Stadio Olimpico (Video)

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Table-topping Napoli continued their fine form with a 4-1 win over Lazio on Wednesday night, thanks largely to a whirlwind of second-half goals.

Trailing 1-0 from the 29th minute, the away side then raced into the lead with a flurry of goals after the break three in five minutes from Kalidou Koulibaly (54′), Jose Callejon (56′) and this absolute beauty from Dries Mertens (59′).

Man Utd: Antonio Valencia Takes Three Minutes To Open Scoring Against Everton With Scorching 25-Yarder (Video)

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It took precisely 197 seconds for Antonio Valencia to open the scoring for Manchester United against Everton this afternoon, and in some style to boot.

The Ecuadorian right-back latched onto a lolloping cross-field pass from Nemanja Matic and, without so much as a second thought, sent a honking shot past Jordan Pickford and into the top corner.

Fair Play Fail: Jena Midfielder Soren Eismann Ignores Protocol To Score Ruthless Goal In German Third Tier (Video)

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Good sportsmanship took a momentary breather down in the German third tier on Saturday afternoon, specifically mid-way through the second half of Carl Zeiss Jena's match against SV Meppen.

At the epicentre of the furore was Jena midfielder Soren Eismann, who ruthlessly exploited 'fair play' protocol to score his side's first goal.

Arsenal: Sead Kolisinac Goads Cologne Fans By Unveiling Schalke Shirt After Scoring Equaliser At Emirates (Photos & Video)

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After going 1-0 down to a Jhon Cordoba screamer with just nine minutes of the clock, it took Arsenal until the second half to restore parity with Cologne on what proved to be a tumultuous start to their Europa League campaign.

The goal came from Sead Kolasinac, who entered the fray as half-time substitute and took roughly three minutes to clang home an absolute gem of an equaliser on the volley from a tight-ish angle.

Europa League: Cologne Striker Jhon Cordoba Lamps One In From 45 Yards To Open Scoring Against Arsenal (Video)

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With kick-off delayed for over an hour due to crowd congestion problems (who'd have guessed?), Arsenal took roughly nine minutes to fall behind against Cologne in their opening Europa League fixture.

The goal itself was a stonker, scored by under-fire striker Jhon Cordoba, who has so far failed to impress the Cologne fans since coming in as a direct replacement for goal machine Anthony Modeste, who left for the Chinese Super League over the summer.

Tottenham: U-19s Winger Marcus Edwards Demonstrates Why Mauricio Pochettino Calls Him ‘Mini Messi’ With Fantastic Solo Goal Against Dortmund (Video)

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At 5 ft 8in tall, Tottenham whippersnapper Marcus Edwards is actually a whole inch taller than Lionel Messi, but that hasn't stopped Mauricio Pochettino dubbing the 18-year-old winger "Mini Messi" regardless.

Indeed, the Spurs manager bestowed Edwards with the moniker after being suitably impressed by the Under-19s prodigy and his formidable dribbling skill, combined with a low centre of gravity and an eye for a finish.

Retro Football: George Weah Paints His Masterpiece By Going ‘Coast To Coast’ Against Hellas Verona, 1996 (Video)

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Milan striker George Weah in full flow against Parma, 1995

Exactly 21 years ago this very day, George Weah scored the goal that would ultimately come, rightly or wrongly, to define his stellar career.

Milan spanked Hellas Verona at the San Siro on the opening day of the 1996/97 Serie A season, though the match is now widely remembered for one thing and one thing only Weah's famous 'coast to coast' goal, the third in an emphatic 4-1 victory.

Mighty Wallop: Charlie Daniels Scores Roaring Half-Volley To Put Bournemouth Ahead Against Man City (Video)

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Just 13 minutes had elapsed when Charlie Daniels put Bournemouth ahead against Man City at the Vitality Stadium in the Premier League's early kick-off.

With the ball bobbling loose on the left-hand edge of the City box, left-back Daniels sent it right back where it came from with a walloping half-volley that pinged in off the underside of the crossbar.

Money Well Spent: Ruben Neves, Wolves’ New £15m Midfielder, Spanks One In From Distance Against Hull City (Video)

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There were many quizzical shrugs exchanged among Wolves fans when their club parted with £15million to sign midfielder Ruben Neves from Porto back in July.

Similarly, there were many Porto fans left utterly bewildered by the transfer chiefly as to why their club had let Neves go for such a pifflingly low fee.

Great Disallowed Goals: Cruel Linesman Robs Southampton’s Kevin Keegan Of Dazzling Volley Against Man Utd, 1981 (Video)

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Not that we're intending to give our old 'Great Disallowed Goals' series a full reboot, but Pies happened across his little snippet earlier today and deemed it worthy of broadcast under the banner.

Dating from the Year of our Lord 1981, the clip shows Kevin Keegan who was nearing the end of his career by that point putting a spectacular finish to a sweeping Southampton attack against Manchester United (in royal blue!

Super Cup: Marco Asensio Continues Amazing Goal-Scoring Debut Record As Real Madrid Emerge Victorious Over Barcelona In First Leg (Photos & Video)

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Real Madrid emerged from the first leg of the Spanish Super Cup with a commanding lead over eternal rivals Barcelona, winning 3-1 at the Camp Nou on Sunday night.

Indeed, Real looked to be firing on all cylinders before a ball was even kicked in anger if this footage of their mesmerising pre-match training drill is anything to go by.

Rosenborg: Nicklas Bendtner Tucks Away An Absolute Peach With The Outside Of His Boot (Video)

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After going a goal inside the first five minutes, Rosenborg came haring back to beat Molde 2-1 in the Norwegian Eliteserien on Saturday afternoon.

Lo and behold, it was Nicklas Bendtner who restored parity for Rosenborg in the 74th minute by sticking an absolute peach of an outside-of-the-boot finish into the far top corner.

Philadelphia Union Academy

Philadelphia Union Academy teams go unbeaten in games against D.C. United & Loudoun SC

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The Union U19, U17 and U15 teams had a win and two draws on the road against D.C. United, the U13s and U14 a win and a draw

Jeremy Rafanello scored a pair of goals in the second half and the defense held D.C. United in check until conceding a late goal in a 2-1 win for the Philadelphia Union U19s in Upper Marlboro, Maryland last weekend.

Philadelphia Union Academy teams sweep Richmond United

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The U19, U14 and U13 teams all opened their seasons with wins on Saturday

Academy newcomer Jeremy Rafanello picked up where he left off last season at Continental FC, scoring the first two goals of his Philadelphia Union career in a 6-0 win over Richmond United on Saturday.

Rafanello, of Delran, N.

Real Madrid

Monaco beaten by late Lyon thunderbolt goal

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Paris (AFP) – Nabil Fekir’s last-gasp free-kick delivered three crucial points to Lyon in Ligue 1 Friday as their captain sealed a 3-2 home win over champions Monaco.

The defeat of the second-placed southerners offers Paris Saint-Germain the chance to climb six points clear at Dijon on Saturday.

Fekir fuels Lyon, Marseille slump again

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Paris (AFP) – Nabil Fekir struck his fourth goal in five matches as Lyon defeated Guingamp 2-1 on Sunday, while Rennes belatedly secured their first win of the season with a 3-1 victory at Marseille.

Mariano Diaz curled in a 19th-minute opener for Lyon as the former Real Madrid striker netted his fourth Ligue 1 goal since his close-season arrival from Spain.

Fekir fuels Lyon, Marseille slump again

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Paris (AFP) – Nabil Fekir struck his fourth goal in five matches as Lyon defeated Guingamp 2-1 on Sunday, while Rennes belatedly secured their first win of the season with a 3-1 victory at Marseille.

Mariano Diaz curled in a 19th-minute opener for Lyon as the former Real Madrid striker netted his fourth Ligue 1 goal since his close-season arrival from Spain.

Top 5 Ruud Van Nistelrooy goals

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It's always a nice nostalgic treat to see Manchester United bring out players from the club's illustrious past for a friendly, and they did so again to great effect this past weekend with Real Madrid in town for a second Legends match of this summer. The game ended 2-2, with United winning the tie 5-3 on aggregate, but these friendly meetings are more a chance to bask in United's yesteryear andsee a flash of quality or two from a footballing great when they roll around.

Diego Valeri

Portland Timbers keep it close in 2-1 win over Colorado Rapids

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The Portland Timbers took all three points in unnecessarily unnerving fashion in tonight's 2-1 win over the Colorado Rapids, riding two first half goals to victory but letting the Rapids back into the match with the team's usual sloppy play on the back line.

The Timbers struck first and second, notching a pair of quick goals in the 21st and 23rd minutes as they worked the ball around and through a Rapids lineup that started the match dedicated to keeping ten men behind the ball.

Rose City Forecast 26: PTFC vs NYRB

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Last week, after a fairly decent first half, the Timbers went straight off the rails around the 60th minute and fell to Toronto by a score of 4-1. TFC got two goals from Justin Morrow, a goal from Marco Delgado, and another from Victor Vazquez in a space of 30 minutes, while the Timbers' lone goal came as a consolation from Diego Valeri in the last few minutes of the match.

The Rest

Stars Break Even in California

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Stars get first win in the young season.

The Tacoma Stars hit the road for a pair of tough divisional matches. The Stars first faced the Turlock Express where they came out as 7-3 winners. On Sunday the Stars played arch rivals San Diego Sockers.

The first match on Friday night saw the Stars get out to a first quarter lead on the Express.

Lee Nguyen reaches major career milestone

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Tierney: "If we were playing in a bigger market in this league, I think he'd be up there in All Star and MVP voting."

Lee Nguyen reached a major career milestone on Saturday night when he collected his 50th career goal. It's a feat that most players will never accomplish and one that will take time for Nguyen to fully appreciate.

Revolution 2, Toronto 1: Late goals give Revs three points

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Well those last few minutes were fun, huh?

After allowing ten goals in two games, the New England Revolution recorded 2-1 win over league-leading Toronto FC.

Toronto's Tosaint Ricketts appeared to score a goal in the 23rd minute but the striker was deemed offside. Ricketts threatened the Revs' net three minutes later, but Cody Cropper was there to make an outstretched save.

Richmond Kickers Dispatch Orlando City B in Midweek Scuffle

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Two goals in five minutes earned the Kickers their first road win this season

The Richmond Kickers earned their first road win of the season against an up and coming Orlando City B squad during an afternoon showdown in Florida. The game was bumped up to midweek due to the impending arrival of Hurricane Irma.

Washington Spirit’s NWSL playoff hopes extinguished after 2-1 loss to Chicago Red Stars

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Despite a late equalizer, the Spirit fell to goals from Christen Press and Kristie Mewis

It was a familiar tune Saturday night at the Maryland Soccerplex, where the Washington Spirit fell 2-1 to the Chicago Red Stars. The Spirit had plenty of possession in the final third but exited the first half without a shot on goal, gave up a goal to Kristie Mewis - the player Washington just traded to Chicago - midway through the half.

Romelu Lukaku matches Dennis Bergkamp goal record on Man Utd debut

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Romelu Lukaku enjoyed a dream debut for Manchester United on Sunday as the £75 million summer signing scored a brace in a 4-0 trashing of West Ham to open our 2017-18 Premier League account.

The Belgian first fired past Joe Hart at his near post following an excellent defence-splitting pass from Marcus Rashford who had been played in down the left wing by a tremendous interception from Nemanja Matic on the halfway line.