We rather liked the look of Moritz Leitner when he replaced Sven Bender in Arsenal's victory over Dortmund last night. Further investigations confirmed that he is indeed the type of tender, succulent manmeat we thrive on. Anyone else feeling peckish? Image: Getty Images.

Marginally better that Tuesday night's action, if your criteria includes clothing removal, short-tents and potential for sarcasm.

Team news, match facts and quotes ahead of the Champions League Group F fixture between Arsenal and Valencia at Emirates Stadium.

TEAM NEWS

Thomas Vermaelen and Carl Jenkinson are both fit to start. Marouane Chamakh has suffered a knee injury and is not fit, but Yossi Benayoun is available again after sitting out Saturday's win over Chelsea due to the terms of his loan deal.

By Alan Duffy

Both fine figures of men (i.e. rather big-boned), former Little Britain star David Walliams has recently swam up the Thames while he also swam the Channel to France, where André-Pierre Gignac lives and plays football (seamless link). The French forward came on as a sub in Marseille's Wednesday night Champions League defeat at the hands of Arsenal.

Our first trip to France since 2002 when we beat Auxerre 1-0. A similar scoreline tonight would see Arsenal in the box seat in the group.

Marseilles are in the same type of form as Arsenal, lying 15th in Ligue 1 and struggling to get back in touch with their last season's form. Their win over Borussia shows just what they can do when playing well – our esteemed manager stating he was "surprised and impressed.

The player we thought we had, and would have liked to have, was Andre-Pierre Gignac. Gignac is a bit of an enigma: he scored 24 goals in Ligue 1 a couple of seasons back, which is hugely impressive in one of the most defensive leagues in Europe. The problem is he's never been near to that figure before or since (although his goals-to-games ratio has always been quite good).

After a thrilling result on Wednesday, Arsenal were drawn as a top seed in the Champions League group draw today, Thursday August 25.

Being seeded meant we avoided such big names as Barcelona, Inter, Bayern and Madrid, but anyone who watches Champions League regularly knows that lower seeded teams can prove difficult.

By Dominic Vieira, writing from Nitra, Slovakia

Intense transfer speculation is revolving around the Bundesliga with names such as Gotze, Tasci, Reus and Vidal dominating scout reports. After a strong 2010 World Cup campaign revitalised with the presence of several young talents, it's no surprise that the attention has transferred to Europe's most populated country.

(The following was entirely written by our new blogger Nikhil Apte, I'm just lending my admin account while we sort this out with The Offside)

Another weekend at the comfortable No. 3 spot in the league table for Olympique Lyonnais! Week 33 sees the queue for the last Champions League eligibility spot thinning by quite a margin.

The current row over TV rights in French soccer might not have made the news across Europe but its consequences soon will. Orange has dropped out of the bidding for next season's rights -- it paid the French league €200 million ($288M) to show one game a week for the last three seasons -- leaving Canal Plus as the sole bidder.

Image: Getty Images.

Good afternoon, people, and welcome to the second edition of the revamped Kickette 'Midweek Results'.

Yes, we did it! Two weeks in a ruddy row!!

TUESDAY

Champions League

Manchester United 2-1 Marseille (agg 2-1)

Nani.

French clubs Lyon and Marseille will attempt to spring major upsets in the Champions League this week after being held to first-leg draws at home against Real Madrid and Manchester United respectively.

Marseille may feel they have the better chance having prevented Sir Alex Ferguson's men from scoring in the goalless stalemate at the Stade Vélodrome.

Click here to watch Marseille v Manchester United Live!

Marseille v Manchester United
Second Round, UEFA Champions League
Stade Velodrome
Wednesday, 23 February
Kickoff: 19:45 GMT, 20:45 CET

Bolstered by injuries to key personnel at Manchester United and their lacklustre away form, Marseille will be going all-out to beat the Red Devils in the first leg.

French champions Olympique Marseille will be looking to secure a favourable result as they host Manchester United in the first leg of their UEFA Champions League Last 16 tie.

‘Franglais' is the term used to describe a concocted mixture of the finest in the French and English language.

Andy Slater will be tweeting and reporting live from Marseille before, during and after tomorrow's match. Follow along here at The Offside, as well as on Twitter at @Andy_Slater.

As two of Europe's on-form clubs prepare to face each other in the Champions League, both are having to cope with injuries to key players but there is still plenty of class on show for what should be a fascinating contest.

Having a very good record in the group stage, Manchester United are undoubtedly favorite to slide pass Marseille in their Champions League fixture double tie, which first leg will start this Wednesday, February 23.

However, things might get difficult for Sir Alex Ferguson's team in the first leg as they will be missing some important players such as Rio Ferdinand, Ryan Giggs and also Anderson, forcing the Scottish tactician to include inexperienced youngsters for the game.

By AVI CREDITOR

Barcelona midfielder Xavi will be out for the next 7-10 days after test revealed a minor muscle problem in his left leg.

With that timetable, the central figure in Barca's attack is set to miss league matches against Mallorca and Valencia, but he should return in time for the club's crucial UEFA Champions League second leg against Arsenal on March 8.

Por Halftown
Gourcuff padre
Antiguo centrocampista del estilo tiqui-taquero que estilaban hace treinta años los Tigana, Platini y compañía, Christian Gourcuff decidió pronto que lo suyo era el banquillo.
Profesor de matemáticas, papá Gourcuff fue de los primeros en utilizar los ordenadores para programar sus entrenamientos.

PARIS, France — Marseille beat Saint-Etienne 2-1 Saturday in the French league to keep up its title challenge. The defending champion cut Lille's lead to three points and provisionally moved into second place in the standings, one point clear of Lyon which thrashed Nancy 4-0 on Friday. Lille visits Montpellier on Sunday.

PARIS, France — Marseille and Lyon both came from behind to breathe new life into their title challenges on Saturday, with OM beating Sochaux 2-1 and OL overpowering derby rivals Saint-Etienne 4-1. Andre-Pierre Gignac was the match-winner for Marseille at Sochaux, as the defending champions secured a victory that took them up to second place [.

PARIS, France — Striker Andre-Pierre Gignac fired defending champions Marseille back into the title race on Saturday with the only goal at home to rock bottom Arles. Coach Didier Deschamps had demanded a massive improvement after a woeful goalless draw last week against struggling neighbours Monaco and Gignac's third goal of the season brought some [.

PARIS, France — French international striker Andre-Pierre Gignac finally justified his 18-million-euro transfer fee on Sunday when he scored his first home league goal for champions Marseille in a 2-1 victory over Bordeaux. It was only Gignac's second league strike of the season his first was at St Etienne in October although he [.