Gear & kit
Word to the BBC: ditch these two jokers now Uncle Motty has gone into a branch of Boots and chosen
his glasses from the section marked "Plastic frames suitable for wacky children's TV
presenters". Meanwhile, Lawro has clearly bought his...
Rio on holiday in Tel Aviv A handy pictorial reminder of why it's so refreshing that England aren't
at Euro 2008. Much like any English tourists, there are few things more embarrassing than an
English football star abroad. Rio, you...
Lineker, Hansen and co., more boring than ever The BBC has received complaints about the dress
sense of its Euro 2008 football pundits. Viewers say Gary Lineker, Martin O'Neill, Alan Shearer and
Alan Hansen look like they're in uniform, with...
Bookmaker offers free gas guzzler to first Spanish goalscorer Paddy Power, a bookies that
specialises in special and unusual bets, is offering a free Hummer to the first Spanish player to
score against Sweden in tomorrow evening's Group D clash....
More useless goods from the House of Platini
The greatest gear that Austria and Switzerland has to offer 1. Holland
away Holland's powder blue change strip continues the retro theme that Nike have
maintained for the last three years or so. The KNVB is looking good as is the band around the
This Arsenal away kit is a high profile example of a Shit Kit. The sickly yellow and black outfit
donned by the Gunners in the early 1990s has been confined to history as the 'bruised banana' shirt
(for obvious reasons). Arsenal have had a few dangerous flirtations with the colour yellow, but
this effort is by far the worst.
Is this what Arsenal will be wearing next season? This is a "leaked" photo of Arsenal's
new home and away kits for the 2008/09 campaign. It's been floating around the web for a while now,
but I'm still suspicious of...
Spurs went for motorway chic with this mid-1980s kit. The design, courtesy of Danish company
Hummel, features not only chevrons but also a hatched area across the chest. Dribbling round this
lot must have felt like a tour of...
Spurs midfielder goes all Miami Vice A good look for JJ? We think not....
Spurs reveal new kits I guess we can presume from this PR shot that Ledley King, Robbie Keane and
Jon Woodgate will all be at Tottenham next season? No Dimi Berbatov though? Does that mean that
Spurs are more than...
Continuing our walk down the Hall of Football Shirt Shame of our Premier League teams, here is a
youthful looking Sir Ryan Giggs sporting Manchester United's disgraceful away kit from 1991. Aside
from being horrendous on the eyes, this shirt also managed to alienate Manchester United fans
because it made them look like Scouse scallies and Manchester City fans at the same time.
It seems Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo was the victim of a practical joke at the
weekend. While the 40 goals a season winger was supposed to be conducting an interview with Match
of the Day, some prankster had obviously misled C-Ron into believing he was attending an audition
for a New Kids On The Block tribute band.
This shit goalkeeping kit made Chelsea's keepers look like patchwork Scousers. And nothing dates a
football shirt quite like being sponsored by Amiga. Chelsea will shortly be taking to the pitch in
Moscow wearing slightly more tasteful kits than this, but the blast from the past is being modelled
by Russian goalie/poodle Dimitri Kharine.
Chelsea's new home kits for next season (blue for outfield players, naturally, and Dutch orange for
the goalies) have been leaked on the thing they call the interweb. So what do you think? The blue
shirt, complete with old-school...
The crime The photo says it all - JT, out on the town with a few Chelsea team-mates (including
Fwank Lampard, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Petr Cech, Michael Essien and 'loverat' Ashley Cole) at some
Emporio Armani launch, was photographed by paparazzi...
A quite brilliant advert for Nomis football boots. I thought it was a spoof at first, but it seems
that Nomis is a real brand of boot. Nomis claims its boots, which are made from kangaroo and bovine
The crime I noticed the Fiorentina head coach's jacket during the first leg of their Uefa Cup tie
against Everton. By thunder, it's a hideous garment, arguably the most shocking coat I've seen a
top manager dare to wear -...
Pompey defender, putting the loon into pantaloons Here's Sol in holiday mode, strolling along the
French Riviera with his WAG Fiona Barratt, an interior designer to the stars. The white t-shirt is
fine, the sandals are fine, the gold chain...
Welcome to the Premier League, Hull City! The Championship play-off winners will be bringing their
own unique brand of style and class to top-flight football for the first time in their history. We
could not let the occasion pass without celebrating their 1993 kit, which is probably the worst
football kit of all time.
An ugly, but practical kit. This Everton away strip was safe to leave on the washing line in
Liverpool because nobody would want to nick it. The season does hold some fond memories for Everton
fans as they won the FA Cup. It also heralded the arrival of Joe Royle, Duncan Ferguson and Daniel
In 1990, Newcastle circumnavigated the traditional 'should we have thin stripes or thick stripes'
debate by having both. The Toon Army still get fun poked at them for being walking barcodes, but I
wouldn't be surprised if this particular kit did actually scan in the supermarket. Umbro served up
this avant-garde disaster.
Here's what the Hammers will wear on their travels next season. We like, a lot You can't beat a bit
of claret and blue - it's a classic English football colour combo, used to great effect by Umbro
Guy Ritchie makes shit films (well, apart from "Lock Stock") but this time he has
surprised us all by directing a pretty good ad: Some wonderful camerawork in there, although I'm
not sure how much digital trickery has been employed....
Well-educated footy fans will know that Cruyff played for the Los Angeles Aztecs between 1979-1980,
but few people know that he also made a couple of guest appearances for east-coast rivals the New
York Cosmos (see photo). Anyhow, the 1979/80...