[G]iven the uncanny coincidence that artworks with the same title scooped the NME Album of the Year and Palme d'Or Awards in 2003, it's appropriate that one of the blogosphere's finest polymath's should contribute the fourth in our fledgling series of hopeless teams. For Chris Ledger is none other than the brains behind Obscure Music and Football, a site with a sometimes unhealthy predilection for Salad (the band that is), the musical career of one Paul 'Gazza' Gascoigne and the witticisms of everyone's favourite xenophobe, Steve Claridge.

Owen's against Argentina? John Barnes in Brazil? Gazza sinking Scotland? Our favourite ever England goals

One England player could make history in the friendly with Sweden tonight by scoring the national side's 2000th goal. William Kenyon-Slaney scored the very first in a 4-2 victory over Scotland at the Kennington Oval on March 8, 1973, Jimmy Greaves bagged the 1,000th against Wales at Wembley on November 23, 1960, and Frank Lampard got the 1,999th in Saturday's win against Spain.

Last summer I heard rumours that Paul Gascoigne was dead. Unlike the rest of the rubbish that circulates the ether, sadly this had the ring of truth. He had been looking more pale and drawn than ever and the stories more bizarre, if that were possible.

Gazza stopped being daft as a brush years ago but the nation kept on laughing.

Last summer I heard rumours that Paul Gascoigne was dead. Unlike the rest of the rubbish that circulates the ether, sadly this had the ring of truth. He had been looking more pale and drawn than ever and the stories more bizarre, if that were possible.

Gazza stopped being daft as a brush years ago but the nation kept on laughing.

By Chris Wright

This here is Tomas Fidra. He's a referee. He's also a card-carrying, paint-on-the-shirt, smells-like-a-tramp's-beard piss artist.

Indeed, Czech police were forced to breathalyse Fidra after he showed up to the regional match between Jestrabi Lhota and Tynec-nad-Labem 'smelling like a brewery' and 'unable to stand up straight' before duly sending off three players for no apparent reason and spending most of the match sprawling on the floor.

With some speculative first goalscorers Newcastle are evidently the surprise package of the Premier League season, and there are fans on Tyneside that would have thought that Gazza admitting he had been acting all these years and was actually a scholar was more likely than the Geordie boys sitting top four at this stage.

The Rams ate my homework Derby County youngster Mason Bennett is set to make his debut aged 15 this weekend. He will become the Rams' youngest ever player in the process, but his first appearance is a few days later than planned. Manager Nigel Clough had to shelve plans to include him in the squad [.

England legend Paul Gascoigne has revealed that Kenny Dalglish tried to sign him for Liverpool during the 1988 season.
Gascoigne, who went on to sign for Spurs instead, remembered:
"Kenny was the first one to come in for me. He said ‘I want to sign you'...Ian Rush was playing at Juventus at the time.

THFC1882′s Stuart Watts presents the return of guest writer Gareth Johnson for his very personal preview of Spurs visit to Newcastle:

Sunday 16th October 2011. St James' Park. Kick off 4pm. Sky Sports 1/HD1 and 3D

It's the big one. No, it really is.

When Gazza met Gaddafi Gazza has revealed he went on the lash with two of Colonel Gaddafi's sons during his time at Middlesbrough. The ex-England star told Piers Morgan's TV show that he went to Libya and went on a bender with the Gaddafis culminating in him autographing a bomb. He said "I went [..

By Chris Wright

"Another wee dram Colonel?"

You'll be glad to know that Paul Gascoigne is not dead...yet, and that he's also been reminiscing with Piers Morgan (for the ruddy-faced bounder's tear-milking Life Stories television show) about the time he visited Libya, snooted enough fluff to down a Stegosaurus and then took the fruits of Colonel Gaddafi's loins out on the lash around gay Tripoli:

"I went to Libya when I played for Middlesbrough and took Gaddafi's two sons out and got them absolutely lamped.

Finney, Moore, Charlton, Robson, Gazza... who is the ultimate lionheart?

Sportsmail 's team of experts join some famous names in revealing their favourite England star and explain the reasons why...

View the full story here: The Mail

A news article on 2011-10-07 22:32:33 from: The Mail

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

The Sun is pretty much useless. Four of the words are necessary, the other two are polite accessories. And if you're taking it too seriously, there's a place at the end of a short plank for you.

However, occasionally very occasionally they do provide something worth noting.

Video: Wonderful Wembley goals including Whelan v Man United, Gazza v Arsenal and Mackenzie v Spurs

Where does Nani's rank in Wembley's greatest goals?

View the full story here: Talksport

A news article on 2011-08-08 11:47:51 from: Talksport

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

This is a guest article from one of our roving reporters who kindly reported back on his findings as he watched the Tottenham XI play MK Dons last night.

His name is Charlie Keeler and he is in his late 20′s. This is his first blog article.

He saw the 1987 FA Cup Final Squad on Blue Peter and decided that Spurs were the team for him.

Ciao, My name is Dylan, and I'll be taking over blogging duties from Julian. It's been almost two months since the Serie A Offside was last updated, and I could not bare to watch no one continue the great president that has been set. I will not claim to have the knowledge that others may have, but I have a passion for writing.

Antes de la premier league y sus dueños norteamericanos, antes de los contratos multimillonarios de jugadores extranjeros,antes de David Beckham y demás metrosexuales existió el mitico y polemico Paul Gascoigne, antes de la película de Goal, antes de todo eso vale recordar una noche en Turin.

Over the long weekend I was luckily enough to see an advanced copy of the new movie 'One Night In Turin" which chronicles England's 1990 World Cup run where they lost to West Germany on penalties in the semi-finals.

Watching the movie I was struck by the similarities between England's 1990 World Cup run and the 2010 effort.

From a Welsh wine bar owner to Alan Cork's beard, via Gazza and Giggs genius, here are some of our favourite recollections.

We came to celebrate, and despite the result we were not downhearted.

We battled through the hold-ups on the M25 and the Blackwall Tunnel, blanched at the accident on the North Circular and arrived in our seats panting from effort as well as excitement. Same old jokes, we make them, we're told them and still we laugh as if we've never heard them before.

Wales' European Championship clash with England on Saturday has a frisson to it which most international matches between a major footballing nation and one which has failed to qualify for a finals tournament for over half a century fail to generate. This is of course owing to a fierce local rivalry engendered by centuries of cultural and historical struggle between the two countries which helps to foster a healthy sporting rivalry.

I've been putting together an article on some retro TV adverts starring footballers for Betfair Football and came across these two classics starring our own Pat Jennings.

The following one featuring Pat dressed up as a goalkeeping oil filter for Unipart was pretty familiar to me, but the advert below in which he stars alongside Tony Tiger in an advert for Frosties was one that I hadn't seen.