Hello. A good a place to start as any, I suppose. You know where you are with hello. It's comforting, familiar. In the same way it's nice to know that a tiny part of every Arsenal fan's soul must die when they see Theo Walcott in the number ‘14' shirt each weekend, only to more often than not play like Lenny Henry rather than the garment's most formidable inhabitant.

Image taken 22.09.2011.

A penny isn't needed for our thoughts:

- White seems like an illogical choice for such an expansive garment.

- He should be banned from covering his tight torso like that.

- Samuel Eto'o, Djibril Cisse and Elen Rives are all tied up at one floor length dress apiece.

Arsenal is a garment that I've worn proudly for all of my life. It has always been a show-stopping garment, one with intrigue and rarity, one with immaculate craftsmanship and handiwork. Arsene Wenger, the great ...

Bastian has arranged his features into an expression that implies he knows he looks like a buffoon, but is being paid enough by his club not to give a crap. Or maybe he's just thrilled to be 27 years old. Who knows? Images via fcbayernmunich.de

The use of football players in club catalogue modelling is fraught with danger.

Adidas have launched the New Real Madrid Home Shirt for next season 2011/12. And for the very first time Gold will feature on the Club's jersey, which include the Adidas logo and the three stripes, which will represent the many successes the club have had in their history.

Written by mickydidit89 Let me begin with a rather unsavoury tale.

I used to live in the Ladbroke Grove area, and in the supermarket there was quite often a fifty something year old man in full schoolboy kit. Cap, shorts, blazer, the works, and I always felt it was reasonable to ask questions, and that I could make cautionary assumptions.

ASquared left Mayfair's Colony Club Sunday night following his team's win over Manchester United. He's getting dangerously close to Guti's closet.

We usually make an effort to be understanding of football players' fashion choices, based on their lack of schooling and comprehension of social cues.

(Getty Images/Daylife)

Don't you hate it when you lust after an outfit for months and months, fantasise about how good you'll look in it and what magical powers you'll have at your disposal while you're wearing it? For a while you may even be thwarted in your attempts to acquire this delectable outfit; maybe it's out of stock, maybe the boutique won't sell it to you, maybe it's just the wrong time of the season.