The Descent: Newcastle Fan Keeps Himself Amused By Sliding Down Bannister During Dismal 3-0 Chelsea Defeat (Video)

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There was precious little to cheer for the travelling Newcastle fans who made the 570-mile round trip to watch their side get pasted by Chelsea in the FA Cup fourth round on Sunday afternoon.

Indeed, shortly after the Toon fell 3-0 down to 72nd-minute Marcos Alonso freekick,one intrepid supporter took it upon himself to buoy his wandering brethren's spirits with a high-octane stunt in the upper tier.

Cometh The Hour, Cometh The Man: Lithuanian Futsal Player Scores Stunning ‘Diving Header’ To Salvage Last-Gasp Draw For FK Spartakas (Video)

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Image: @AdomatisAuris/Twitter

Trailing 6-5 with the last few seconds of the match wicking away, it was becoming apparent that FK Spartakas were going to have to dig out something special to salvage anything from their recent Lithuanian futsal league clash with FK Sirvintos.

Spartakas needed a hero, and that's exactly what they got when Artur Semasko came striding forth to save the day by pulling an equaliser out of thin air.

Retro Football: Bayern Munich Goalkeeper Sepp Maier Dabbles In Subtle Art Of Time-Wasting, 1972 (Video)

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The great Sepp Maier was and is pretty much untouchable when it comes to German football idolatry.

As close to the modern ideal of the lithe superstar goalkeeper as it was possible to get back then, Maier made over 600 appearances for Bayern Munich, the majority of which coming as a cornerstone of the Bavarian club's peerless 1970s team of Franz Beckenbaur, Paul Breitner, Gerd Muller et al, that won three European Cups on the bounce.

FAIL: Den Bosch Winger Danny Verbeek Makes Unholy Stinking Hash Of Open Goal Tap-In (Video)

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By Jack Beresford (@JackBeresford86)

He couldn't possibly fail to score from there, could he? (Image: Ajax TV)

The Dutch second tier (or Eerste Divisie to give it its proper name) isn't exactly renowned for grabbing headlines the world over but Den Bosch winger Danny Verbeek did his bit to change that at the weekend.

Backfire: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain Goes Undercover In Liverpool Club Shop Only To Receive Brutal Criticism From Young Fan (Video)

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As part of their 'School of Scouse' series, MBNA had Liverpool legend Robbie Fowler introduce a batch of new recruits Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Dominic Solanke and Andrew Robertson to the Liverpudlian way of life.

The Ox's induction saw the midfielder go incognito has a regular member of the public and start mingling inside the Liverpool club shop while Fowler, stationed in a van outside, fed him instructionsthrough an ear piece.

Retro Football: Norwich Poacher Tim Sherwood Skies Open Goal From Six Yards Out Against Bristol City, 1991 (Video)

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Photo: Nigel French (via Sporting Heroes)

He may possess the managerial acumen of a Maris Piper, but Tim Sherwood was a perfectly decent central midfielder in his day as his three England caps duly attest.

In fact, back in 1999, Sherwood became the first player to be given an international debut during Kevin Keegan's tenure when, aged 30, he turned out for the Three Lions in a 3-1 win over Poland in a Euro 2000 qualifier at Wembley.

South Africa: Kaizer Chief Fan Keeps Himself Amused By Going Through Full Warm-Up Drill Alongside Players (Video)

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In all honesty, it's all been a little bit slow today in the wake of last night's Champions League blow-out, so feel free to enjoy this 'ere video of a Kaizer Chiefs fan while we continue to scrounge about for more meaty fodder.

The Chiefs took on Polokwane City in South Africa's Premier Soccer League on Tuesday evening, duelling their way to a goalless draw.

Thailand: Bangkok Sports Club Emerge Victorious From Mammoth Penalty Shootout Thanks To Truly Bizarre Winning Spot-Kick (Video)

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After this 'ere Thai cup match between Bangkok Sports Club and Satri Angthong finished 2-2 after extra time, the two sides embarked upon an extended penalty shoot-out that eventually culminated in one of the silliest, flukiest spot-kicks you're ever likely to see.

With the shoot-out dramatically poised at 19-19 and goalkeeper facing goalkeeper, the Bangkok Sports Club stopper sent his powerful effort clanging off the crossbar.

Set-Piece Pioneers: Polish Side Use Attacking Freekick To Cooly, Calmly Concede Goal-Kick In Most Efficient Manner Possible, 2016 (Video)

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The Puszcza Niepolomice brains trust, in their element...

Concerned about leaving their defence so exposed having won an attacking freekick so far up the pitch, several Puszcza Niepolomice players got their heads together and decided to play it safe.

Indeed, during a Polish Cup quarter-final tie against Pogon Szczecin last season, the Puszcza set-piece special committee decided the best course of action was to concede possession in the most efficient manner possible to allow themselves to get back and assume their defensive positions.

Set-Piece Pioneers: Japanese High School Team Successfully Deploy Ingenious ‘Walking Wall’ Freekick Ruse, 2016 (Video)

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These days it's positively ubiquitous, but as strange as it is to think, the world had never seen the now-humdrum "walking wall" set-piece routine before January of last year.

Largely uncredited as they may be for innovating and subsequently adding such an instant staple to the football repertoire, 'twas the football team from East Fukuoka High School who first demonstrated the Monkees-style routine.

FAIL: Dutch Fourth Tier Side Harkemase Boys File Truly DIABOLICAL Open-Goal Miss Against VV Capelle (Video)

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Just keep it between the white sticks and you should be okay...

Sometimes it is simply beyond the realms of human communication to accurately describe the true diabolical nature of a hopelessly mangled open-goal sitter.

This, from Dutch Derde Divisie (fourth tier) side Harkemase Boys, is one such occasion.

Set-Piece Pioneers: Austrian Trailblazers SC Weiz Manage To Decimate Their Own Wall, 2013 (Video)

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The calm before the storm...

Continuing with our nascent exploration of the players and teams that have served to expand the parameters of set-piece execution over the years, we find ourselves plonked slap, bang in the lower tiers of the Austrian pyramid.

The year was 2013 and, unfettered by sporting norms, SC Weiz decided that their crunch encounter withSC Fürstenfeldbruck was the perfect time to deploy what has since come to be known as "The Crappest Freekick Routine Ever Attempted By Anyone Ever".

Chilean Primera Division: Everton ‘Keeper Eduardo Lobos Drops Almighty Clanger, Concedes Stinker Against Audax Italiano (Video)

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Photo: CNN Chile

Everton de Vila found themselves on the wrong end of a 3-0 defeat when they travelled to Audax Italiano in the Chilean Primera Division a few days ago.

The away side were already a goal behind when, shortly before half-time, veteran goalkeeper Eduardo Lobos (a sheep in wolf's clothing) dropped an industrial-sized clanger to let a second goal slip in calamitous circumstances.

Tempting Fate: Cocky Goalkeeper Gets His Comeuppance In Tanzanian Local League Match (Video)

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With his side leading 1-0 and 20 minutes left to play, one Tanzanian goalkeeper decided that a bit of cocky time-wasting was in order.

After parrying a powerful freekick, the stopper began toying with the opposing striker by waiting until the last moment to pick the ball up.

Alas, the striker's reactions were just that split-second faster.

Serie A: Young Juventus Fan Positively Disgusted To Receive Inter Milan Shirt As Birthday Gift (Video)

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Image via Italian Football TV

As a child, there's no more poignant betrayal of trust. You love your gran dearly but she doesn't understand the complexities of club allegiance and local rivalry so she's just bought you the new Derby County shorts as part of your main birthday present ergo, you can never speak to her again.

FAIL: United Masters ‘Keeper Drops Scarcely Believable Clanger During Guam Soccer League Match (Video)

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Image: Guam FA

Laughing in the face of the potential nuclear threat of North Korea, the second tier of Guam's Budweiser Soccer League kicked off on Wednesday evening, with all eyes focused on the clash of the titans between Hyundai Family FC and United Masters.

Hyundai Masters eventually coasted to an 11-1 win, and that's not overly surprising considering the absolute gifts being laid on by the United Masters goalkeeper.

Retro Classic: Football Italia Intro Sees Paul Gascoigne And James Richardson Combine To Create Comedy Gold, 1995 (Video)

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Paul Gascoigne explains his curious headwear to Lazio coach Zdenek Zeman, 1995

Yesterday marked the 25th anniversary of the day that Gazzetta Football Italia aired on Channel 4 for the very first time.

We've spoken of our undying love for Football Italia before here on Pies, helping as it did to introduce a wide-eyed young fan to a world of football beyond watching Wolves grind out dull, mud-specked draws with Leicester City on Central Match Live every sodding weekend.

Classic Moments: Mido And The Worst ‘Crossbar Challenge’ Attempt Ever Captured On Camera, 2009 (Video)

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To brand Mido's loan stint at Wigan in the latter half of the 2008/09 season as 'largely featureless' and 'eminently forgettable' is to do it a major disservice.

After all, the Egyptian striker scored on his debut (a penalty in a 1-1 draw against Liverpool) and then went on to ripple the net again against Arsenal (the consolation in a 4-1 hammering), eventually ending the six-month deal with a whopping two goals to his name in the space of 12 appearances before going AWOL.

Comedy Classics: Mitchell & Webb’s Timeless Sky Sports Parody Advert – ‘Watch The Football’ (Video)

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As prescient now as it ever was, the following sketch succinctly crystallises what televised football has become an endless, mindless assault of HUGE gladiatorial matches abutted by HUGE honking opinions, regardless of the fact that you're actually sat watching Tony Cascarino stumble his way through Norwich City's goalless draw with Preston.

Chris Kamara Made to Look Like a Proper Tulip! Again

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Chris Kamara is one of the funny guy's on Sky Sports Soccer Saturday, however today during West Ham v Southampton at Upton Park he was look like a proper Tulip (idiot) as he watched the game oblivious to Jeff Steling's cue to report on the game!

And just for the record Southampton won 3-1!

And good old Kammy is no stranger to being got on the hop just see the video's below for proof!

Arsenal and Germany’s Lukas Podolski Throws Journalist into Swimming Pool!

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Arsenal and Germany's resident joker Lukas Podolski gave a Journalist a right soaking when he threw the unsuspecting correspondent into a swimming pool during Germany's Media Day ahead of next months World Cup Finals!

Funny, Laughable 55 Yard Free-Kick Scored in Algeria!

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Algerian league leaders USM Alger were made to work for their 3-2 win over fifth place JS Kabylie on Saturday.

And their plight wasn't helped by their keepers funny some would even say laughable attempt to save Ali Rials 55 yard Free-kick.

Dutch Sub Gets Taken Out While Readying Himself to Come On

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Poor Oscar Hiljemark's game was nearly done even before he came on against AZ Almaar who PSV beat 1-0, when the Swedish midfielder was whacked while getting ready to come. Much to the amusement of the fourth official who did very well to contain his laughter.

VIDEO: One Direction Star Louis Tomlinson Clattered by Gabriel Agbonlahor at related • 0 views
Rake thin One Direction star Louis Tomlinson suffered a forgetful moment at Park Head when he was clattered into by Gabriel Agbonlahor Tomlinson's misfortune occurred whilst playing in a legends charity match to celebrate the career of the now retired former Celtic and Aston Villa footballer Stiliyan Petrov.

VIDEO: One Direction Star Louis Tomlinson Floored by Gabriel Agbonlahor at related • 0 views
Rake thin One Direction star Louis Tomlinson suffered a forgetful moment at Park Head when he was clattered into by Gabriel Agbonlahor Tomlinson's misfortune occurred whilst playing in a legends charity match to celebrate the career of the now retired former Celtic and Aston Villa footballer Stiliyan Petrov.

ITS Funny Video Of The Week: Epic Clearance Fail! at related • 0 views
The In The Stands funny video of the week sees two Corinthians defenders totally screw-up what should have been a straight forward clearance away from goal! The incident occurred during Corinthian's Campeonato Brasileiro clash with rivals Vasco Da Gama. Deep into injury-time and with the scores at one-a-piece, nervous Corinthians defenders tried desperately to secure [.

VIDEO: Lionel Messi & Mario Balotelli Meet Pope Francis! at related • 1 view
Lionel Messi and Mario Balotelli shared a smile and a joke with Pope Francis ahead of a friendly between Argentina and Italy. The Pontiff greeted both Italy and Argentina's football squads ahead of a mouthwatering friendly between the two nations at Rome's Stadio Olimpico. The new Pope then spoke movingly about the need for all [.

VIDEO: Diving & Cheating Luis Suarez Stars In ‘The Office’ Advert! at related • 0 views
Luis Suarez is the star of the show in a hilarious 'the office' style advert doing the rounds In the 1 minute ad the Liverpool ace is seen working combatively in an office whilst at the same time seeking to get one over his co-workers by, guessed it, cheating, scheming, diving, feigning and just [.


Police Brutality: Stoke Constabulary Troll Irked Arsenal Fan Over ‘Missing Person’ Mesut Ozil In Wake Of 1-0 Defeat

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Despite watching his side amass 79% possession and muster a mighty eight efforts on goal, one Arsenal was suitably aggrieved by his side's 1-0 loss at Stoke on Saturday that he felt obliged to report a sporting crime to the local police force.

Unable to process the result like an adult, the irked Gooner in question took to Twitter to make the Stoke constabulary aware of a 'robbery' that had just taken place in broad daylight at the Bet365 Stadium.

5-year-old Arsenal fan sends Bacary Sagna letter asking him to stay

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A 5-year-old Arsenal fan from Norway has written a letter to defender Bacary Sagna asking the...

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The Rest

Shit Lookalikes: Patrice Evra & The Thumb-Less Terracotta Warrior Of Philadelphia…

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We realise we could be in the minority here, but we couldn't help but notice that the Terracotta Warrior who has had his 2,000-year-old thumb nicked from theFranklin Institute in Philadelphia bears an uncanny resemblance to West Ham's latest high risk, low reward expenditure: Patrice Evra...

Yay or nay?

PSG Tease ‘Grand Announcement’ And Troll Thousands Of Their Own Fans Over Imminent Kylian Mbappe Transfer

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Continuing on the quest to become the biggest yuppie trolls in world football, PSG have trolled thousands of their own fans over the imminent arrival of one Kylian Mbappe.

With a convoluted, FFP-defying £166million 'loan' move for Mbappe now reported to be on the verge of completion, the Parisians roped in a willing accomplice in the guise of right-back Thomas Meunier to break news of a 'grand announcement' being made by his club on Twitter at 12:30pm on Monday.

Clanger: Walsall Fan Makes Whopping Error While Booking Accommodation For League One Trip To Portsmouth

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Faced with a 230-mile round trip, one Walsall fan decided to book themselves some cheap accommodation in order to break up the long haul down to the south coast for Saturday's League One game against Portsmouth.

Alas, in attempting to secure the cheapest possible overnight stop, it would appear that the intrepid Saddlers fan in question dropped a bit of clanger when it came to researching the specific location of their out-of-town hotel.

Diskerud vents frustrations in lyrical Instragram post

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The Mix Diskerud saga at New York City FC has been ongoing for a significant part of the team's two seasons, but may be reaching a close in the near future, if his lyricalInstagram post is any indication.

Diskerud took to social media on Sunday to vent his frustrations about his treatment in a not-so-cryptic, poetic format.

D.C. United roast Red Bulls on valentine's response

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With valentine's day right around the corner, a pair of MLS rivals decided to show each other some love, with a little good-natured ribbing included.

It all began with D.C. United tweeting out a lovely valentine's day card they "received" from long-time rivals, the New York Red Bulls, ahead of Tuesday's holiday.

Linesman Clocks Jordi Alba With Flag v Atletico Madrid

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Barcelona defender Jordi Alba goes down injured after linesman clocks him with his flag unintentionally may I add!

Gazza Picks up Most Ridiculous Yellow Card of his Career!

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Attacking Soccer.

Most football fans will remember the tears which flowed from Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne's eyes following his yellow card picked up against the German's at Italia '90 which would rule him out of the World Cup Final had Stuart Pearce and Chris Waddle being able to actually hit the target on the night?

Funny Ashley Young Throw-In v Tottenham

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Attacking Soccer.

Ashley Young's reaction to his throw in says it all as Tottenham go on the attack following the ball slipping through his hands hard to understand why the referee didn't call it back for at the very least a foul throw.

Funny Ashley Young Throw-In v Tottenham

Funny Moment When Hoffenheim’s Mascot Hoffi Takes a Tumble and Loses his Head!

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Hoffenheim's poor mascot "Hoffi" took a tumble during his sides 6-2 win against Wolfsburg yesterday.

Poor Hoffi went to celebrate his sides fourth goal just before half-time only to fall over the advertising hoardings and losing his head.

However the vet wasn't needed and Hoffi went home with little more than a bruised ego.

Chelsea Captain John Terry To Sign For Hull…NOT at related • 0 views
Nope it is not true, its just a clever roost to draw you in so that you can read a rather tame article which tells you about nothing. Hey, but do not blame us here at In The Stands. It was The Sun who ran with the headline 'John Terry wants to sign for Hull' [...]