Casual lobotomy is one of my less typical weekend pursuits, but I'm willing to hazard that were one to pluck out the respective brains of BAE and Scott Parker, the two would be as dissimilar as medically possible. At one point in the second half yesterday I'm fairly sure Benny executed a scorpion kick, seemingly just to pass the time.

We've got three words for you MB: YSL's Touche Eclat. Image via calcio nel cuore.

All the wrongs in the world would be righted if we could honestly claim late night frivolity responsibilities for Marco Borriello's puffy eyes.

Oh, the scenes, sounds and smartphone-recorded proof.

Le sigh.

By Chris Wright

It's already been well and truly scotched by his agent, but the heftiest kernel of transfer tripe this morning was a rumour appearing in the Times, The Sun and the Daily Mail that Newcastle were willing to stump up between £10-£15 million to bring Andy Carroll back to Byker Grove and that Liverpool may be tempted into cutting their loses on their £35 million lump.

By Alan Duffy

You know you've arrived as a major global star when you get the infamous Taiwanese viral animation treatment.

The ubiquitous Mario Balotelli is the latest star to feature in these bizarre videos produced by NMA.tv, after enjoying a few weeks of fabulous football, fireworks and frivolity.

Late October is a funny time of year. Your first or second favourite club is now in full swing across the ocean, while your second or first favourite club is wrapping up their season with a game steeped in frivolity and mediocrity. Toronto closes out their season against a side who was eliminated from the post-season sometime in mid-July.

It's that wacky time of year again around BMO Field. Thousands come and go, there's screaming, laughing and crying, all while countless clowns and freakshows entertain for peanuts. No, it's not the MLS Transfer Window - it's the Canadian National Exhibition. Toronto's annual fair to celebrate and showcase the best in fried dough technology, the finest in men's leather belts, Sha Na Na cover bands and amusements "assembled" by some of North America's finest carnies.

Ho? Ho-HoThe new FIFA world rankings are out. It's like Christmas morning when is I see FUBAR's, er, FIFA's list of the top national men's teams in the world. I mean, FIFA is such a credible, honest organization that when it speaks, I listen.
Much like the NCAA here in the United States, bringing order to the world's top national sides provides great value for hardcore and casual football fans alike.

Seriousness versus frivolity. Aesthetics versus the dour practicality of not having the money to be able to spend on the very best players in the world. It has felt this season as if there is a new schism opening up in football. It now feels as if there is a type of football that is artistically, technically and, dare we say it, morally superior to all others.

There simply is not a better way to describe football than the ‘beautiful game' on days like this. As Nottingham Forest prepared to shake off the shackles of over indulgence and festive frivolity worn over an icy winter period, the Reds welcomed Leeds to their Carlton home in a game promising an entertaining spectacle for the gathered observers [.