John Terry's bulge takes a hit from a schoolboy. That's precious cargo, son! Watch where you're aiming next time!

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There's a rumour going around that Pepe (of all people) just came out of the closet on a French radio show. Sounds like complete BS to us because A) why French radio?

Lille's Eden Hazard has regularly (and laughably) been linked with a move to Merseyside over the last six months, and I'm sure Liverpool fans would love to see the Belgian international at Anfield. However, Lille have now emphatically slammed the door shut on any move away from France in the January transfer window.

After months of speculation, questions and premature reports, it appears that the final twist in the David Beckham offseason saga has the player staying right where he is.

According to multiple reports from France and England, Beckham is not going to be signing with Paris-St. Germain after all, and a return to the Los Angeles Galaxy seems imminent.

Lille's Eden Hazard has persistently been linked with a move to Merseyside over the last six months, and I'm sure Liverpool fans would love to see the Belgian international at Anfield. However, the latest comments from Hazard's Agent seem to suggest that Liverpool are not in the running for his signature.

By Chris Wright

Though he'll almost definitely be joining for the football, Paris Saint-Germain have jumped the gun slightly and ordered 20,000 David Beckham™ shirts just in case David Beckham™ should join them when his contract at LA Galaxy dwindles in November.

Arsène Wenger has perhaps surprisingly admitted that "half the dressing room wanted to leave" over the summer. Speaking to French radio station RTL, he said "It was a very difficult summer because half the dressing room wanted to leave... You're preparing for a season where you don't know who's going to come in, the players [.

Fascinating interview by Arsène Wenger on the French radio station RTL Monday. Wenger opens up about a terrible summer in which "half the dressing room wanting to leave".

Wenger was asked to reflect on comments made by his former midfielder Emmanuel Petit last week in which he suggested sales were "killing" the club.

Arsene Wenger reckons players don't leave Arsenal for Manchester City to win honours but, surprise, surprise, for the huge wages. And the manager says he doesn't think RVP will leave the Emirates. "I don't think we will lose Robin," he said.

Wenger has been speaking on French radio tonight and we are indebted to Vince, the president of the Arsenal supporters club France, for the translation on his Twitter feed (@ASCFR).

By Chris Wright

We're not going to dally too long over this one as, frankly, we find the whole ongoing 'Fabregas to Barca' rigmarole bloody tedious, as we're sure you do too by now.

Anywhom, we think it's fairly safe to assume that Cesc's Arsenal teammate Bacary Sagna has hardly waffled his way into Arsene Wenger's good books giving French radio station RMC a comprehensive rundown of all the reasons why his captain will be returning home to Catalonia before too long:

"I can say it's true that Cesc wants to go to Barca.

So, in the wake of the the meeting the whole thing has gone transfer crazy now.

Firstly, Lille confirmed that we were to 'have talks' with Gervinho and that we were the player's preferred destination. Until he talks to Man City and they offer him two spaceships.

This morning The Mirror links us to a raft of players under the headline 'Arsenal will spend £30MILLION on stars to stop fan backlash'.

By Chris Wright

Several of today's papers have worked themselves into a frothy tizz over quotes made by Lyon keeper Hugo Lloris, in which the current France No.1 admits that Manchester United (who, as you are probably aware, will be without a first-choice stopper from June of this year) are one of the few clubs that 'make him dream'.