Welcome to another edition of Groan in Brief, the weekly look at the world of football in bullet point form. Today, we tackle the Worst Handball Ever in History And Time Itself â„¢, and the curiosity of Egypt's continued absence from the grandest stage of international football.

'That' handball

Whenever the media decide to jump on a story, what transpires is the most unsightly of feeding frenzies, each reporter seeking to trump the last.

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If you're only going to have 5 players play well, make sure they include at least three defenders and the goalkeeper. I'm writing in a vacuum I did have the Setanta commentator who rightly pointed out how poor France were, but I have to say that I thought France were shocking.

Good performances: Sagna, Evra, Gallas, Lloris, Anelka
Poor: Henry, A.

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Greetings, Dynamo fans. As we are all well aware, our beloved Orange fell short of the 2009 championship. It was a valiant effort against David Beckham and the LA Galaxy. Watching from Houston, the Dynamo played well on Friday night, but early Saturday was a different story.

As midnight passed, LA took advantage of two costly fouls by Ricardo Clark.

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The FIFA U-17 World Cup finished on Sunday, November 15, 2009 with the championship and third place match. In the finals, host country Nigeria played Switzerland while Spain took on Colombia for third place. Here's a recap of both matches along with video highlights.

Switzerland beats Nigeria 1-0 to win U-17 World Cup Video Highlights

The match was scoreless through the first half despite a strong start from Nigeria, who were the host country of the tournament.

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Elizabeth Lambert's name is now synonymous with violent play. What happened to Joe Pimentel (pictured here, giving Lambert the one yellow card he issued)? The center referee basically folded his arms and did nothing through that match - was he suspended, pending some sort of inquiry and evaluation? Nope - He went on to referee a men's game a few days later: the UCLA/Washington PAC-10 championship match, in fact. Click to continue reading...

Denmark's Footballer of The Year

I have always believed that everyone has their advantages and flaws in certain areas that is different from one another. Some can paint, some can sing, some can dance, while others are just plain stupid. Case in point, Darren Fletcher. After the Chelsea game, he was quoted to say that

I think we are starting to see Mr Wenger's comments starting to influence referees which is a shame really.

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Who ever said that 'footballers have no sense of humour'? I don't know either. I just made it up.
If that quote did exist though then Darren Fletcher would be exempt. He believes, wait for it, that comments made by Arsene Wenger earlier in the season have resulted in him being singled out by referees. Click to continue reading...

On the heels of third-place Manchester United's loss to Chelsea yesterday, Darren Fletcher made the claim that he had only been called for a foul on Ashley Cole because of comments Arsene Wenger had made in the media two months ago (comments which did not even mention Darren Fletcher's name). We here at the Arsenal Offside found these comments curious, and it seemed like a bizarre and misguided attempt to deflect attention from third-place Manchester United's shortcomings in the match and to try to drag Arsenal into the discussion.

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This was one of those Premier League matches that had a draw written all over it that was crying out for just one decent attempt to puncture the dull game. And it finally came three-quarters into the match where John Terry headed the ball into the corner of the net.

Yet again, Sir Alex Ferguson put out a defensive minded team that played very cautiously with Wayne Rooney often up front on his own.

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Watch this interview with a local reporter (Jared Lloyd/Desert News) who covered this match. He points out that the "refs allowed" for a "physical game" - and offers a well informed perspective on the tone of the game (explaining New Mexico's use of a physical style of play to break up BYU's movement up and down the field). Click to continue reading...

Video ansehen

Zugegebenermaßen sind die Fouls in diesem Frauenfußballspiel zwischen BYU and New Mexico längst nicht so brutal oder folgenschwer wie wir es im Herrenfußball gewohnt sind.Frauenfußball ist hart

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Soccer can be a tough game and it's especially so in the Mountain West Conference. Footage of the conference semifinal game in Provo, Utah where BYU beat New Mexico 1-0 has been making the rounds and not for the right reasons.

Why is it that the only times women's sports make the nightly news is when they cross the line?

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Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of the year again. The regular season is over, so now we can look at the official numbers for fouls committed and fouls suffered and put them in the context of "per 90 minutes" rather than just raw totals. Which players will lead in the eight categories below?
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Before I write this, let me admit it's almost 3am and I'm very drunk. It's Halloween, I look like a zombie, and I've been talking about United all evening.

In my drunkard status I have settled on several points of view:

1. Dimitar Berbatov is a world class player.
2. Antonio Valencia has the makings of a great United winger.

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Rafael Benitez will appeal against both red cards after nine-man Liverpool slumped to a humiliating 3-1 defeat at Craven Cottage.
Swiss defender Philipp Degen and captain Jamie Carragher were sent off for second-half fouls as Liverpool's Premier League hopes disintegrated, falling to their fifth league loss of the season. Click to continue reading...

So let's start the discussion. Here are some of my initial thoughts from tonight:
1. The Onstad Bump: After the game, Alexi Lalas showed the smarts that made him the GM he was when he said that Onstad should have gotten a red card for that contact. "99 times out of 100, that's a straight red," ranted his Gingerness. Click to continue reading...

After a second half of the season that was a tad weird to say the least, Dynamo get a chance to put on their Tri-umph faces and Lay It on the Line for that third title.
I think this video above truly expresses my feeling about Seattle tonight. And while the truth is I have never once flipped the toggle on an XBox, or done a 360 on top of one, I know for a fact that an Orange Ring of Death exists on those consoles, and that's what I am expecting to see over these two legs, starting tonight. Click to continue reading...

Don't forget to refresh the page!

Barnsley 0-1 Manchester United

29′ Home crowd starting to make some noise. Not much, but it's still noise. Bogdanovic and Macken have been superb so far. Another chance as I write. Anderson da Silva heads over.

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Scott the red over at 'The Republik of Mancunia' has kindly taken the time to answer some questions about - amongst other things - where it all went wrong for United at Anfield yesterday.
Jaimie Kanwar: What went wrong for United at Anfield?
Scott the Red: The first problem was the team selection. Click to continue reading...

Following United, the expectation is our lads will create at least five clear cut chances and at the very least, one will get put in the back of the net.

At Anfield yesterday this wasn't the case but the frustration we feel through the hangovers today could have been avoided if several things had been done differently.

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Jamie Kanwar from Liverpool Kop has interviewed me after yesterday's defeat.

Jaimie Kanwar: What went wrong for United at Anfield?

Scott the Red: The first problem was the team selection. With Darren Fletcher out injured we needed some grit and fight in the centre of midfield, with Anderson could have provided us with.

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With just over half an hour played Jamie Carragher fouled Michael Carrick in the penalty area. He got a foot to the ball but didn't put it out of Carrick's path, yet he did bring our midfielder down. If it had happened outside of the box it would have been an obvious freekick and a yellow card. For it to happen inside of the box it should have been a penalty and at least a yellow card, yet the referee gave nothing.

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Sir Alex Ferguson believes his Manchester United side did not get a fair crack of the whip from referee Andre Marriner at Anfield.
Nemanja Vidic was sent off for two yellow cards and Ferguson questioned a number of the official's decisions as they slumped to their first defeat in 12 games in all competitions as Liverpool triumphed 2-0. Click to continue reading...

Well, our night went from good to about as bad as it could get. As you can see from the post below we were up 1-0 at half time.

The second half started and early on Majstorovic gets his second yellow and is sent off and Bate tie the game. So, one of our key players is sent off, the pitch condition is deteriorating (and it was disgusting to begin with) and we were loosing the control over the game we had before.

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Untold Fouls, by Walter Broeckx Since the tackle on Theo Walcott by Ridgewell in the Birmingham game there is some debate going on about what is allowed when a player tackles and what is not allowed. I'm going to try to give an overview on how a ref should handle the different cases that [...] Click to continue reading...

Westminster College of Utah took 44 shots but needed late heroics to claim a 2-1 overtime win over Adams State, which played its final match of an abbreviated inaugural season, on Sunday afternoon at Murphy Field in Alamosa.

The Griffins, 9-6-1, scored the tying goal with just five minutes left on a Jeff Gardner header before Tysen Gehring gave the Griffins the win with a pretty goal with just 3 minutes, 17 seconds left in the second overtime.

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Missouri State Bears, Jessica Smits

Seniors Samantha Aguilar and Jenna Dobkins tally two goals to defeat the Drake Bulldogs 2-0 on Missouri State Senior Day. The Bears are now 7-5-2 overall and 3-1-0 in Missouri Valley play.

The Bears played the game very aggressively, racking up eight shots and six fouls in the first half alone.

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Missouri State Bears, Jessica Smits

Seniors Samantha Aguilar and Jenna Dobkins tally two goals to defeat the Drake Bulldogs 2-0 on Missouri State Senior Day. The Bears are now 7-5-2 overall and 3-1-0 in Missouri Valley play.

The Bears played the game very aggressively, racking up eight shots and six fouls in the first half alone.

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We have had a great deal of discussion this week about officials' bias in CONCACAF towards Mexico. However, I was a bit disappointed that many American fans see the US as a victim in all this. The truth be told, the US benefits from much of the same bias, albeit perhaps from different parts within CONCACAF.

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The 2-0 first-half deficit made it seem unlikely, but the US were able to battle back to match points with Mexico, and therefore, win the group. Well done, boys! Here are some thoughts from the game:

-It was great to see the US create so many chances. You'd like to see us finish more of those (obviously), but on another day, it could have easily been 5-2.

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The FIFA U-20 World Cup had its semifinals on Tuesday as Brazil faced Costa Rica and Ghana played Hungary. While not as prestigious as the main World Cup, the U-20 is an indicator of a nation's strength in the upcoming years. The third place and championship match will be played on Friday, October 16, 2009.

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The premise of Channel 7's new sci-fi series might not lie in the realms of fantasy after all. Last night, watching the Australia v. Netherlands game, I had a vivid premonition of how Pim Verbeek's side will approach games against superior (or even peer) opposition in South Africa next year.
Plenty of shuffling the ball across the back four. Click to continue reading...

Forgot to post this the other day, but The Times has a nice look at Alan Wiley's work in the Man Utd v Sunderland game (when Fergie dissed his fitness).

They have a nice graphic, but the long and the short of it is that he ran about 11k and was on average 18 metres from the ball and 16 metres from fouls.

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After Saturdays 2-2 draw with Sunderland, Alex Ferguson, frustrated by what he had just witnessed, issued a scathing verdict on referee Alan Wiley's performance.

"I was disappointed with the referee," said Ferguson. "He didn't add on any time for the goal. He played four minutes and two seconds.

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Arsène Wenger has thrown his support behind Robin van Persie after the striker hit the headlines at the weekend for admitting he exaggerates the fouls made on him. With the diving debate one of the hot topics for conversation after Eduardo was banned by UEFA, a decision which was subsequently overturned, for a ‘dive' against Celtic, [. Click to continue reading...