Watching that enjoyably lobotomised MTV show My Super Sweet 16 I've always thought it must
be ace to have really rich and famous parents. It's carte-blanche to behave like a complete prick
the whole time, because, you know, they were never there for you, and they, like, totally don't
understand how cruel life can be when you pull into school in your '08 Range Rover Sport only to
see Sarah Jessica Parker's cousin parking the new Hummer H3.
George Best was one of the greatest players to ever hail from our shores. But more than that, he
was also just a really great lad by all accounts, humble about his gifts and always up for a few
pints with the boys despite women falling over themselves to swallow his kids. Which is why that it
is even more jarring what an unparalleled cunt his waste-of-space son Calum has grown up to be.
It should come as no surprise to you that Wayne Rooney's two younger brothers are scumbags. The
parents aren't exactly regal to say the least, and well, when your older sibling makes more than
£100,000 a week you're kind of entitled I guess to follow him around and try to nail his
leftovers. John, 17, and Graham, 18, are cursed however with the exact same family looks, so
without the spending power of Wayne, how are they ever going to get any girls?
How's this for a dilemma then: either play for your club against Inter Milan
at the San Siro in the last 16 of the Champions League, or witness the birth of your first child.
Thankfully it's a predicament few of us will ever have to face, but for ace Liverpool midfielder
and kickette favourite Xabi Alonso, the choice was obvious.
I really wish people would leave poor (not literally) Victoria Beckham alone. Apparently David is
in a huge grump at the moment so it's taking both of her talents (I assume you can probably work
out what those are for yourselves) to keep him from hitting the bottle and ‘doing a Britney.' And
now, to make matters worse, her supposed ‘gal pal' and ‘BFF' Cheryl Tweedy has come out and
said that Posh is afraid to smile in public.