By Alan Duffy

Swansea City 2-3 Norwich City Premier League 11th February 2012

An 18-minute second-half goal-spree secured all three points for the Canaries at the Liberty Stadium on Saturday in a superbly entertaining battle of the Premier League new-boys.

Mano Menezes appears to be under a lot of pressure these days surely it isn't because he's only the national coach of Brazil, a country with 194 million other talking heads? Earlier this week, Menezes met up with the U-17 'selecao feminina' (you can call them Brasil's futbolitas!

By Chris Wright

When 'super duper set-piece' penalties go wrong, you tend to end up looking like a bit of a massive great sopping tit as Uzbekistan U23 striker Aleksandr Geynrikh found out to his cost during a friendly game against Zenit St Petersburg last night.

According to the description (good luck getting a universally accepted tally on this stat), guess who's currently leading Big Europe in assists this season? Yup.

It's pretty unfair when he's surrounded by that type of talent, given the fact that rolling one onto the boot of a teammate is like rolling Adriano into a buffet he's very unlikely to fluff his chance.

With seven wins from eight games and twenty-two points from a possible twenty-four, the sun is rising over the white and navy blue corner of North London at the moment. This evening's match against Aston Villa was one at which Tottenham Hotspur might, in other years, have chosen to fluff their lines, and Spurs supporters are rather over-familiar with their club's predilection for getting to the point of achievement before contriving to find a way to allow it to slip through their hands.

By Chris Wright

"Another wee dram Colonel?"

You'll be glad to know that Paul Gascoigne is not dead...yet, and that he's also been reminiscing with Piers Morgan (for the ruddy-faced bounder's tear-milking Life Stories television show) about the time he visited Libya, snooted enough fluff to down a Stegosaurus and then took the fruits of Colonel Gaddafi's loins out on the lash around gay Tripoli:

"I went to Libya when I played for Middlesbrough and took Gaddafi's two sons out and got them absolutely lamped.

One of the positives against Fulham was the fact that Romelu Lukaku got 2 hours of first team football under his belt which will benefit him in the long term. It was more than likely that he would have only played 65-70 minutes to then be replaced by Didier Drogba making his return but we all know that backfired.

Now that's a midfield!The life of a non-league football blogger isn't all the glamour, celebrity red carpets and beds covered with money you may think it is. Although I did find two dimes and a nickel in my laundry - so there's that. Sometimes, the need to pen a match preview can come up too quickly, such as The Reds' fixture this Wednesday in Mexico City versus Pumas UNAM.

Feint and fluff Al Ahly's Amir Sayoud pays the price for being too clever in what's an early candidate for Most Abysmal Penalty of the season. His feint-and-fluff routine clearly displeases the referee who gives him a yellow card for the baulk, and presumably his gaffer wasn't too impressed either. Eat dirt, sucker!

Well, Sergio Aguero certainly isn't messing about is he? Lordy. Declared partially fit by Mancini and that, sir, is what £38 million looks like. Right there. Talking of which, I'm not sure Gary Neville is cut out for this punditry lark. Not to say that he can't be rather insightful at times, it's just he seems to have based his delivery style on that of the robot maid from Rocky IV.

Well, Sergio Aguero certainly isn't messing about is he? Lordy. Declared partially fit by Mancini and that, sir, is what £38 million looks like. Right there. Talking of which, I'm not sure Gary Neville is cut out for this punditry lark. Not to say that he can't be rather insightful at times, it's just he seems to have based his delivery style on that of the robot maid from Rocky IV.

Call them showboats or call them fluff, call them arrogant or call them hype. It doesn't matter because these athletes produced. Andre Agassi, Dennis Rodman and Deion Sanders gave the sporting public some of the best drama of all time.

Its clear that Arsene Wenger needs someone new at Arsenal as months of ongoing transfer gossip involving the sales of Samir Nasri and Cesc Fabregas finally look to be coming to a close.

Team spirit is Wenger's number one priority, he constantly repeats it in his interviews, and I would strongly concur with him.

Over the last year or so, we have discussed MLS' efforts to measure the value of its television exposure through various local and national broadcasts. Through the website criticalmention.com, MLS tries to alert media to the "value" of its presence on various television programs. Since a few weeks have passed since we last checked in on this metric, we thought providing a snapshot of this metric of MLS media exposure.

By Chris Wright

The 2011/12 Europa League may still be in it's fledgling stages, but we'd wager that Young Boys striker Nassim Ben Khalifa's (there's got to be a pun in there somewhere) atrocious open-goal fluff against Westerlo is still going to be the worst miss of the tournament come the final next May.

Sandro Rosell: "Fab is not so fab, so lets fob you off"

Cesc Fabregas has been downgraded by his boyhood club. He should come cheaper as per Sandro Rosell after 'wear and tear'. A football Moody's rating if you must. By the way where did that Capello Index go?

This really should be seen as an insult more so as Barca announced on the same day their serious interest in landing Alexis Sanchez, the Udinese striker who will cost them a pretty packet.

By Chris Wright

As you may be aware, Ronaldo played his final competitive game last night playing for the last 15 minutes of the first-half of Brazil's 1-0 friendly win over Romania in Sao Paulo.

Sadly, Ron didn't manage to grab the decisive goal (Fred had put Brazil a goal up before El Fenomeno entered the fray), though he did manage to fluff two or three decent chances to extend the lead during the brief period he spent on the pitch chances he would have buried in his prime.

Saturday 23rd April 2011 - Football league 2 (but only just)
This was physically painful to watch. All I could think as the minutes ticked away was " I don't have to do this again". This was the end of the season for me. It could very well be the end of my regular attendance at Whaddon Road and this pointless blog.

The Olympic Stadium decision will be announced this week, and the biggest question the legacy committee will be asking themselves is what bad things will Karren Brady have to say about them if they rule in favour of Tottenham?

She's conducted herself in a manner any unscrupulous politician in the world would be proud of latched on to one key piece of rhetoric (promises, legacy, equating Tottenham with 'shaming Britain') and subsequently ignored everything tangible about the Tottenham position.

Manchester United's season marches on unbeaten despite not playing particularly well, five points ahead of Arsenal, nine ahead of Manchester City and ten in front of Chelsea. Wayne Rooney has come out to say Chelsea can push his team for the title with the signing of Fernando Torres, but has failed to mention either the Gunners or cross-town rivals City in his assessment of the title race.

By Chris Wright

In which Greek second division outfit Veria FC fluff a nailed-on chance to score once every two seconds in what can only be described as a 11-second goalmouth shit-fest...

Dear lord. I'm sure there's got to be a 'Greek tragedy' pun in their somewhere.