This week's Shit Shot Mungo sees the financial crisis at Heart of Clackmannanshire deepen still further, as the £30 fine imposed by the authorities for playing a match when their entire squad knowingly had swine flu proves to be the final nail in their coffin. The club is forced to put all of its players on part-time wages, but one man (who has been earning £190,000 per week for as long as anyone can remember) may be able to save the day.

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Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger says he will never make a huge number of signings at any one time because it will affect their style of play.
Wenger insisted that to maintain the quality of Arsenal's game, he simply cannot afford to make too many changes or bring in too many players at once. Click to continue reading...

This is not a hoax. Atletico Madrid coach Quique Sanchez Flores has Contracted the dreaded Swine Flu virus. According to his clubs website, the former Valencia Coach was feeling a little bit under the weather on Monday and subsequent tests that were carried out to check if he was suffering from the common cold came back negative.

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After last week's swine flu debacle, Heart of Clackmanannshire Football Club find themselves in court in this week's Shit Shot Mungo, accused of deliberately and maliciously spreading the virus through playing an infected team in a recent match. A draconian punishment awaits them, unless Mungo McCrackas or Sir Roddy Bulbs can save the day.

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What seemed to be a terrible year for Fluminense may end up as a good one, after all (obviously, staying in the first division is fundamental to that). In the first-leg of the semis, Flu played as it is supposed to: as a big and traditional club. It played the first-half better than Cerro Porteno, but did not score.

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Worrying news that has come from the weekend is the emergance of Swine Flu within the ranks of the Blackburn Squad and staff. Of course they were at the Bridge on Saturday and some of their players missed the 5-0 thrashing, but Sam Allardyce has warned Chelsea that a Swine Flue outbreak is inevitable at the Bridge! Click to continue reading...

Without even stepping into the pitch on the weekend, Sao Paulo did something that has been very common for the club lately: It reached the top of Campeonato Brasileiro. In the 34th round of the tournament, the club, who fights for its 4th Brazilian title in a row, benefited from the defeats of Palmeiras and Atletico-MG.

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Bless you At a time when swine flu threatens to cause havoc to the football world, OTP can only call Sven's actions deeply irresponsible. The Notts County director of football makes his entrance after 37secs if you want to avoid Geldof and co.

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Sent by a soccer mom:

Subject: Change to End of Game Ceremony

To the players, parents, and volunteers of AYSO Region 17,

One of the most basic and vital components to the AYSO sportsmanship program is the end of game hand-shake/high five line for the opposing teams and the referees.

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Copa Sudamericana reached the semifinals, two Brazilian clubs had the chance to be in the final 4. However, only Fluminense did so. Flu visited Universidad de Chile and one more time relied on Fred. The ex-Lyon seems to be playing for all the matches he did nothing since the beginning of the year.

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1. 'FAT burgers' -- via The Offside
2. 'Swine flu UCL viewers' -- via Dirty Tackle
3. 'Israeli WTF jersey' -- via Unprofessional Foul
4. 'Plymouth Argyle mascot' -- via Who Ate All the Pies?
5. 'Adoring Adriano poster' -- via Futbolita
6. 'Lost in Google translation' -- via The Spoiler
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Swine flu fever has overtaken Heart of Clackammanshire this week but new manager Gary Burns isn't going to let that get in the way of the club's best winning run in years, in this week's episode of "Shit Shot Mungo", which also lays bare the truth of Mungo McCrackas Lemsip addiction. This week's Mungo is brought to you by Ted "The Neck" Carter (who, if you were wondering how he got his nickname, fell through a roof and broke his neck a little over three years ago, in case you were wondering he's okay now, but he's not allowed to go on rollercoasters any more), and is available in a higher resolution here.

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Literally, Nope, not drink induced, although that's how it feels. I have an inner ear infection which basically means I can't move without falling over. Under Doctors orders I'm confined to bed to keep my head as still as possible which in itself is causing problems as my neck stiffens up and threatens to bring on a full blown migraine.

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Ahhhhhhhh some of the fans took off their club issued masks! Swine flu! SWINE FLU!!!!!!!

[Photo: SERGEI SUPINSKY/AFP/Getty Images]

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St. Etienne, of the Ligue 1, has reported that it has been faced with a second case of the H1N1 virus. With Brazilian striker, Ilan hospitalized on the 30th of last month, the club was forced to be quarantined. Now, the team is saying that yet another player has been diagnosed with the virus.

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When we beat the Mancs last week, everyone including his pet rock was jumping with joy I am certain. Everyone except those in the clueless bandwagon. Then, afterwe lost to Fulham, the dam burst further!

How do some fans miss the obvious I do not know. We have been overachieving with Rafa at the helm and yet these people scream murder and want Rafa to be sacked.

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With the swine flu doubt cleared up, Paris Saint Germain picked up their first win since the 30th August on Sunday, beating Sochaux 4-1.

After years of struggling the Paris side finally had a good season last year, finishing 6th and only missing out on a Champions League place due to their� very poor form in the last league games, picking up only 4 points from a possible 15.

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Video goal highlights from the Manchester United vs Blackburn Rovers game on October 31, 2009. Kicks off at 17.30 UK time from Old Trafford, Manchester. United beat Barnsley in their midweek Carling Cup tie, while swine flu hit Blackburn were too strong for Peterborough, managed by United boss Sir Alex Ferguson's son Darren. Click to continue reading...

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger declared that the club is taking the swine flu threat very seriously despite being somewhat "mysterious". With Premiership side Blackburn confirming that three of their playing staff have contracted the illness, the ... Click to continue reading...

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger declared that the club is taking the swine flu threat very seriously despite being somewhat "mysterious". With Premiership side Blackburn confirming that three of their playing staff have contracted the illness, the ...

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Check out Episode 26 of the world famous Soccerlens Podcast with co-hosts Adrian Clarke and Iain Spragg.

Football's swine flu epidemic (including the dangers of spitting), the latest twist in Newcastle United's tale and an escalating problem with hooliganism all crop up in conversation during this week's spookily good show – as do all the usual match previews and predictions, focusing on Arsenal v Tottenham, Everton v Aston Villa as well as Lyon v Liverpool.

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I haven't been able to find highlights but I did find a video of all four goals. The emotionally unstable amongst us may not want to watch it as it's pretty depressing. As my father said the only positive thing to take away from that match is the fact that we can't do any worse on Saturday. Now I must say I didn't really expect a win, I don't think any Wanderer did, but 4-0?

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The swine flu is claiming even more victims in football as Spanish club Real Betis has revealed that around 13 of its players have contracted the troublesome virus. The report comes after football fans have seen both Blackburn and Bolton hit by the virus, and one French Ligue 1 fixture has even been cancelled.

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Despite a Swine Flu crisis at the club Rovers manage to easily overcome Championship side Peterborough.

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Becks shows his expertise with "spit pieces"

The Health Protection Agency has determined that spitting could lead to the spread of the H1N1 virus and asked footballers from refraining to do that on the pitch.

''Footballers, like the rest of us, wouldn't spit indoors so they shouldn't do it on the football pitch.

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In the wake of the controversial anti-spitting campaigns� targeting� the swine flu, Blackburn assistant manager Neil MacDonald revealed that Rovers boss Sam Allardyce kept his distance from his flu-struck squad. Big Sam himself was not feeling too well, and opted to remain in the stands during Tuesday night's Blackburn match to eliminate the chances of infecting more players.

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First up, apologies for my absence over the last few days, I've come down with swine flu and it is not the most pleasant thing under the sun, my skins gone pink and Ive even started oinking too. Its not good.

Anyway tonight we need to get back to winning ways after two draws, it might only be the Carling Cup but at the moment any cup would do for us.

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As you may know, three Blackburn players and two members of their staff have come down with Swine Flu. Last night Blackburn's Carling Cup game went ahead and this weekend they play Man United in the Premier League.
The Blackburn manager is now showing signs of having swine flu, which is why he stayed away during last nights Carling Cup game. Click to continue reading...

Fans turn up wearing masks that don't feature Eric Cantona's face These Peterborough fans obviously worked out that the swine flu outbreak at Blackburn, plus the official warning that spitting is spreading the virus, and the fact that they could find themselves close to El-Hadji Diouf meant that they were at substantial risk of getting sick! Click to continue reading...

It's been awhile since I've done a round-up of links, but as we wait for the MLS Playoffs to start, this is a good time to do some reading:
World Cup in the U.S. could mean $5-Billion Windfall - L.A. Times
Roma's Captain Totti Undergoes Knee Surgery - USA Today
Forget Fergie, A Real refereeing crisis is looming - Graham Poll - The Daily Mail
Rangers and Celtic's barbaric Old Firm bigotry is last thing we need down here: Martin Samuel - The Daily Mail
In Italy the Ultras give the orders - La Gazzetta dello Sport
Bodies of murdered soccer players returned to Colombia - Colombia News
French League Boss defends late decision to call off game despite violence - Canadian Press
Swine Flu strikes Bolton - AFP
Fenerbahce preserves home dominance in derby classic - Today's Zaman
Palermo salvages SuperClasico draw - ESPN Click to continue reading...

Reports have come out that 4 players at the club have contracted the dreaded swine. However Megson refuses to reveal who the players in question are. Now of course I'm not worried about them dropping dead or anything, but the swine flu is still the flu, and can be quite debilitating if you want to, say, chase up and down after a ball for 90 minutes.

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Always ready to make a few quid (usually on eBay) Bolton Wanderers have responded quickly to the news outbreak that swine flu is infecting the English Premier League with BWFC branded face masks selling at a reasonable £14.99.

Instead of singing 'stand up if you hate man u' perhaps 'a–choo if you hate swine flu' could be a topical song that could be sung when Bolton travel down south for their League Cup clash against Chelsea.

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Former Bolton manager Sam Alladyce revealed that some of Blackburn's players played against Chelsea despite showing some symptoms of Swine Flu. Big Sam is concerned about the virus but The Wanderers' current manager is not perturbed by an apparent outbreak at The Reebok Stadium.

In a statement on the official Rovers website Big Sam said;

"Obviously, we've had two players who have been particularly poorly with it, and we've had a few more that have had something which looked like the symptoms, but they still managed to travel with us and get through the game at Chelsea.

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Sam Allardyce was quick to get his excuses in for his side's 5-0 capitulation at Stamford Bridge on Sunday, revealing that two of his players contracted swine flu. Now, ahead of tomorrow's Carling Cup fixture against the league leaders, Bolton manager Gary Megson has revealed that four of his players are now suffering from pig flu.

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Sam Allardyce was quick to get his excuses in for his side's 5-0 capitulation at Stamford Bridge on Sunday, revealing that two of his players contracted swine flu. Now, ahead of tomorrow's Carling Cup fixture against the league leaders, Bolton manager Gary Megson has revealed that four of his players are now suffering from pig flu.

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