By Chris Wright

Just Tottenham midfielder Sandro, half-naked, going through a few of his Zumba moves in the Spurs dressing room while shouting 'PAY!' and 'FISH!' every couple of seconds to enhance the effect...

Note to self: Don't piss off Sandro any time soon.

By Chris Wright

Just Tottenham midfielder Sandro, half-naked, going through a few of his Zumba moves in the Spurs dressing room while shouting 'PAY!' and 'FISH!' every couple of seconds to enhance the effect...

Note to self: Don't piss off Sandro any time soon.

Match report (with goal clips)

I think that's what you'd call back on track. A solid, unspectacular performance, not aided and abetted by a ridiculous, bought sending off early in the game, and a display that showed lessons have been learned from away days at Wigan before.

The team was as expected and although the home began very brightly – and probably should have scored but for the magic heel of Santos – it didn't take long for us to assert ourselves and boss the game.

Bah. One of those annoying games that you wish hadn't happened. A decent looking encounter was spoiled by the needless dismissal of renowned hard-man Moussa Dembele, whose wayward arm sent Wisla's Nunez spiralling into deep agony. That Dembele barely touched Nunez, that the touch was on his shoulder, not in his face (as suggested by Nunez in his distressed state), perhaps suggests a mistake by the referee, and with that mistake went the game: we lost 1-0 to a team that lost to Odense.

When questions of cheating and the Under 17 World Cup come 'round, usually it's more "Why does Nigeria's defensive mid using a cane?" rather than "Where's the beef...for testing purposes?" Luckily, the tournament was held in Mexico this year, which means questions of tainted food were never going to be too far off.

Alan Pardew states in a recent interview that the team is keeping it's collective feet firmly on the ground. After Saturday's dramatic win away to Wolves that has us still in the top four after all the weekends games, briefly peaking at third spot, it's good to know that the lads are aware that there are bigger fish [.

By Chris Wright

In which Russian second-tier side FC Ural try their hand at the utterly pointless 'fish flop' headed free-kick against Alanyia, with Nikolay Safronidi flobbing to the ground to nudge a dead ball into his teammate's path with his dense thatch of downy eyebrow plumage.

By Chris Wright

In which Sir Alex Ferguson takes umbrage at ITV reporter Kelly Cates' line of questioning post-Benfica and has a bit of a snippy wee strop, claiming she is 'just looking for stupid little things' when repeatedly asking about United's goalkeeping situation ahead of this weekend's game against Chelsea.

By Chris Wright

In which Sir Alex Ferguson takes umbrage at ITV reporter Kelly Cates' line of questioning post-Benfica and has a bit of a snippy wee strop, claiming she is 'just looking for stupid little things' when repeatedly asking about United's goalkeeping situation ahead of this weekend's game against Chelsea.

We don't claim to know a great deal about cars, but we've seen enough episodes of 'Top Gear' between us to know that you're not supposed to do this to a Bentley.

What on earth could have inspired is this heinous act of vandalism by Manchester City's Stefan Savic, people?

By Chris Wright

You may remember Matias Urbano as the Argentinian fella that notched a fine (offside) 'rabona' volley for Union San Felipe against Union La Calera not so very long ago, and you'll be glad to know that he's repeated the feat notching both goals in Union's 2-1 win over Deportes Iquique on Saturday, opening the scoring with another of his trademark rabona toe-pokes.

By Chris Wright

You may remember Matias Urbano as the Argentinian fella that notched a fine (offside) 'rabona' volley for Union San Felipe against Union La Calera not so very long ago, and you'll be glad to know that he's repeated the feat notching both goals in Union's 2-1 win over Deportes Iquique on Saturday, opening the scoring with another of his trademark rabona toe-pokes.

By Chris Wright

All evidence suggests that Mexico striker Omar Arellano had a bit of a downstairs trouser accident as last night's friendly against the US rumbled into it's final stages...

If you're wondering what Leicester's premier crisp peddler has to do with the price of fish, then allow us to present you with some glorious context.

Freddy Adu could be making his way back to MLS. (Getty Images)

With the transfer window set to close next week, clubs are racing, and I mean racing, to get deals done here. I've seen today that Seattle is hoping to get some deal done while Chivas USA is hoping to land a much bigger fish..er.

Another frustrating weekend for Arsenal fans has drawn to a close. Two more leads gifted away, a worry over the fitness of one of our best young players and us being denied the chance to see an old hero in the red and white once again thanks to a referee who was all to happy to make decisions he should frankly be embarrassed about.

DISCLAIMER: The following piece is written by Gefilte Fish and was published in my sole discretion. The following thoughts are not neccessarily the thoughts or belief of FMB.
This season has been frustrating for us all, but the past weeks have been rough on us all. Before I get to my rant, Ill give the comatose striker fans a brief overview:
LAST FOUR GAMES:
Tampa 4-2 Strikers
Atlanta 3-2 Strikers
Montreal 1-1 Strikers
Islanders 3-1 Strikers
In recent weeks, We've dropped TOO MANY GAMES.

By Chris Wright

"Tainted meat, I've got to...dum dum...run away, I've got to..."

Five of Mexico's Gold Cup squad have been sent home after they all tested positive for Clenbuterol, a 'controlled substance' used in inhalers to treat breathing disorders.

By Chris Wright

"Tainted meat, I've got to...dum dum...run away, I've got to..."

Five of Mexico's Gold Cup squad have been sent home after they all tested positive for Clenbuterol, a 'controlled substance' used in inhalers to treat breathing disorders.

By Chris Wright

In an interview with German press agency DPA, Argentinian FIFA ExCo member Julio Grandona started by pissing and whining about the relentless attacks on 'the FIFA family' by the English media, denied being glad-handed by the Qatar 2022 team in return for his vote and then went on to implicate himself in perhaps the largest-scale bribe ever to have taken place within the governing body's corridors of power:

"Yes, I voted for Qatar, because a vote for the US (who were beaten by Qatar in the race to host the 2022 finals) would be like a vote for England and that is not possible.

The Fish makes the highlight reel in the Union's first non-binary victory. Let's break it down.

Avram Grant should have gone four months ago. That is the conventional wisdom and a fairly safe one at that. But the problem was no one was willing to take over for him. Grant reveals that there were six candidates including Martin O'Neill, Steve McLaren, and Sam Allardyce who were sought out in January but they would not do it because " they knew the situation there.

In case you forgot these 'has-beens', here's a recent photo of Guti and Simao with their Besiktas teammate, celebrating their Turkish Cup victory... fish style! / via 'KidLoli' on Bellazon

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From the newspaper archives... unless that's not what it's meant to convey. The Leeds Unlucky Fish would appeal to me if they were ever to reform.

There is something understated about this afternoon's second FA Cup semi-final between Bolton Wanderers and Stoke City. This morning's papers are full of last night's Manchester derby and the match between Barcelona and Real Madrid in La Liga, but there is more to it than merely this. Sky Sports and the Premier League have scheduled the Premier League match between Arsenal and Liverpool directly up against this match, as well proof, as if it were needed, of Sky's commitment to little more than itself and there are empty seats at Wembley this afternoon.

Date: Tuesday Jan 18 2011
Ground: Shawe View
Comp: Evostik Div One North (step four)
Match: Trafford 1 Mossley AFC 4 HT: 0-1

Shaw 86 : Oates 34, Dennis 70, Egan 78, Fish 90

ATT: 112
Additional: Entrance £7.00, Programme £1.50

Shawe View in pictures

Ground stats: (each category out of 10.

Date: Tuesday Jan 18 2011
Ground: Shawe View
Comp: Evostik Div One North (step four)
Match: Trafford 1 Mossley AFC 4 HT: 0-1

Shaw 86 : Oates 34, Dennis 70, Egan 78, Fish 90

ATT: 112
Additional: Entrance £7.00, Programme £1.50

Shawe View in pictures

Ground stats: (each category out of 10.

When Dale Vince took over as owner of the Forest Green Rovers, few knew how far reaching his dietary preferences would be. It wasn't too long before everyone found out.
The boss, who doesn't partake in meat or dairy products, issued an order to his players forbidding them to eat red meat.

By Chris Wright

Ex-Barcelona honcho Joan Laporta has claimed that 'justice' will have been done if and/or when Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas makes his move back to the Camp Nou.

*sigh*

Laporta is quoted in this morning's Daily Mirror as saying:

"The English come here to go 'fishing'.

By Ollie Irish

Suarez is a centre-forward who plays for Liverpool.

A bumphead parrotfish is a fish with a bumpy head.

Spotted by James Sinnott. We'll have some of what he's having.

Email your Shit Lookalikes to ollie@anorak.

Go fish.

This transfer window, and trying to sort out posts while half expecting breaking news to come barreling along at any minute, has officially got me all turned around. Yesterday's morning offering was originally going to be yesterday's morning and mid-day offerings, but fearing breaking news it all got welded into one big entry with a tacked on and vaguely, tangentially relevant video even if it really wasn't a news and notes link sharing type post that would normally get that sort of treatment as a matter of course.

Photo quality is terrible but just went to fish this out my draw, it's my autograph from Kenny Dalglish when i met him in the Molineux boardroom last year! :)...Liverpool Football Club today have parted ways with manager Roy Hodgson. In a move that was predicted to happen sooner rather than later it sees Roy leave on the back of just 7 wins out of 20games played in the league.