Move over Gordon Banks, for your acrobatic denial ofPele at the 1970 World Cup has been usurped as the greatest last-gasp save of all time.
Mohammed Anas now claims that title, after conjuring up the mother of all excuses for thanking both his wife and his girlfriend during a recent post-match interview.
Mohammed Anas scored twice in Free State Stars' 2-2 draw against Ajax Cape Town and as such landed the Man of the Match award.
Unfortunately, the Ghanaian striker wasn't quite so deft while picking up his award on live television after the final whistle.
During his acceptance speech, Anas accidentally thanked the two women in his life, instantly realised he'd made the blunder and desperately tried to rectify it:
Thank you for this, I appreciate my fans.
David Bingham lodged a very strong entrant for goalkeeping balls-up of the season at the weekend, with the San Jose Earthquakes' glovesman somehow managing to direct an off-target effort back into his own goal.
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The ricket came late on during San Jose's MLS clash with Sporting Kansas City at a sold-outChildren's Mercy Park.
Here we see the precise moment thatthe anti-Arsene Wenger movement (and football in general) began toeat itself as onedimwit fan likens Arsene Wenger's rather successful 21-year reign at Arsenal to the untold bloodshed and tyranny Robert Mugabe has inflicted on Zimbabwe over the past three decades.
Image: Gloucester City AFC
Gloucester City dukedout a 1-1 draw with Harrogate Town in the National League North on Saturday, though the away side really should have departed Whaddon Road with all three points to their name.
This is because Harrogate defender Simon Ainge was presented witha glorious chance to score, only to boom a gilt-edged open goal over the bar in spectacular fashion.
Hertha Berlin pulled off a fairly surprising result againstBorussia Dortmund in the Bundesliga this afternoon, winning 2-1 at the Olympiastadion.
However, Thomas Tuchel's side should have been awarded adefault victory in the 90th minute when Hertha defender Mitchell Weiser resorted to laughably pathetic subterfugein an attempt to get Ousmane Dembele booked.
Nordsjaelland absolutely panned Silkeborg in the Danish Superliga on Friday night to leapfrogabove their vanquished opponents in mid-table.
The home side ran out 5-1 winners thanks in part to a helping hand from Silkeborg captainDennis Flinta, who scored their third goal of the evening with a delightfully deft chip over his own goalkeeper.
PSG's second string recorded a fairly straightforward 2-0 win over Ligue 2 outfit Niort in last night's quarter-final of the Coupe de France.
Ittook a late goal apiece from second-half substitutes Javier Pastore and Edinson Cavani to shore up the result on a damp old night at theStade René Gaillard.
Atlanta United, and specifically their rowdy fans, are already fostering themselves one holy hell of a reputation ahead of their MLS debut next month.
During what we assume was Saturday's pre-season trip toplay Charlestown Battery, the Atlanta ultras formed a fearsome raiding party, leaving the home fans quaking with a barrage of blood-curdling war cries.
Image: Univision Deportes
Having begun his career there before going on to make almost 400 appearances in blue and cream, Cuauhtemoc Blanco breathes rarefied air when it comes to Club America.
The grizzled veteran even returned to make one last commemorative appearance for America last season before finally bowing out of professional football at the age of 44.
The Turkish Football Federation (TFF) have given Robin van Persie (RVP) a two-match ban after the Fenerbahce striker's behaviour was deemed to have been "insulting" during last Sunday's cup game against Besiktas.
Van Persie began by hitting the deck to get Besiktas centre-back Dusko Tosic sent off, before becoming embroiled in a verbal altercation with Tosic's defensive partnerOguzhan Ozyakup.
The warm-up was about as close as Tim Cahill got to last night's A-League Melbourne derby after managing the impressive feat of getting himself sent-off before setting foot on the pitch.
About to enter the fray in the 87th minute with his Melbourne City side trailing 2-1 to bitter rivals Victory, Cahill gave the assistant referee anearful and promptly got himself red-carded before the substitution was made.
Barcelona lost ground to La Liga leaders Real Madrid at the weekend, with the Catalan giants drawing 1-1 away to Real Betis courtesy of a last-gasp Luis Suarez goal.
However, Luis Enrique's side were robbed of another legitimate goal earlier in the game, when the officials failed to see that the ball had clearly gone over the line of the Betis goal.
Hull City suffered an embarrassing 4-1 defeat away to Fulham in the FA Cup fourth round in Sunday, with Tigers' striker Abel Hernandez managing to miss two penalties withinjust28 seconds.
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Premier League side Hull were already 4-1 down when, late on, Andrew Robertson was felled in the box by Fulham defender Tomas Kalas.
You'll have to forgive the slightly sketchy details here, but we think the following snippet of 'action' comes from the Turkish lower leagues.
What you're about to see is the goalkeeper for Gaziantep Buyuksehir Belediyespor(we think) make a fine save from a penalty, only to immediate concede the most pathetic own-goal of all time.
The ground staff at theEstadio Gran Canaria scored a bit of an own-goal on Firday night, during Las Palmas' La Liga clash with Deportivo La Coruna. With the game in full flow, the sprinkler system suddenly turned on, with the ref (spoilsport!) temporarily halting the game.
The incident happened early in the second-half, with the hosts leading 1-0.
Move over 'United Passions', because it looks like there's a new worst football movie ever in town.
What you're about to witness is the trailor for a new movie that looks so ineffably awful that Guardian reviewer Stuart Heritage assumed it must be a deliberate hoaxof some sort.
Dangerous Game stars Callum Best (reality 'star' son of George) as a Premiership footballer who dabbles in robbing shoe shops while dressed as Gary Lineker on behalf of the Russian mafia or something like that.
Puszcza Niepolomice ended up losing 2-0 toPogon Szczecin in the quarter-finals of the Polish Cup on Tuesday night and, if theirattempts at set-piece ingenuity are anything to go by, the result didn't come as much of a surprise.
Already trailing after just 10 minutes, Puszcza won themselves a freekick in an advanced position.
In which, while playing for Al Ittihad Alexandria in the Egyptian Premier League, one striker by the name of Youssef 'Obama' Ibrahim misses a penalty in the latter stages of a match and is so overcome by despair that he just flees the scene entirely.
In fact, after seeing his spot-kick repelled, Obama just keeps on running, past the goal, along the advertising hoardings, down the steps to the tunnel and right back to the dressing room.
Admittedly, it's easy to succumb to hyperbole whenever fluffed sitterscrop up, but you must simply believe us when Pies tell you we think we've stumbled across the WORST missed sitter of all time here.
Details are scant, but we know it came duringa recent game in the Belgrade Zone League, which makes up part of the fourth tier of Serbian football.
Having made the 40-milejaunt down the A605, Peterborough donned their fluorescent yellow away kit for Saturday's League One clash with local-ish rivals Northampton.
Sadly, their snazzy hi-vis strip proved to be their undoing well, specifically the undoing of veteran midfielder Michael Bostwick, who fell foul of a touchline colour clash when he expertly picked out the overlapping run of a matchday steward.
With mouth operating at twice the speed of brain as per, Chris Kamara endured another of his trademark 'episodes' while watchingthe Crystal Palace-Man City game for Sky Sports yesterday afternoon.
Attempting to utter the name of Bacary Sagna while reporting in from Selhurst Park, Kamara completely mangled the City full-back's name, resulting in scenes of a decidedly muddled nature.
Mere hours after being told by his club manager that he could play for Barcelona if he wanted, Romelu Lukaku went and cemented his credentials by missing an absolute whopper of a sitter in Belgium's friendly against their beloved lowland neighbours, the Netherlands.
With Belgium trailing 1-0 to a first-half Davy Klaassen penalty, Roberto Martinez sent Lukaku and Thorgan Hazard on for the last 30 minutes or so.
Not so very long ago, we showed you a decidedly dodgy goal conceded by North Korea's Under-16 team that subsequently raised more than a few quizzical eyebrows around the world.
The goal in question saw Uzbekistan 'keeper Jasurbek Umrzakov score past his opposite number, Jang Paek-Ho, from the far end of the pitch after the North Korean stopper stumbled at the most inopportune moment.
It is estimated that every year approximately one person in every 1,000 worldwide will suffer a moment of episodic blindness.
Unfortunately forJuventus midfielder Stefano Sturaro, his cropped uppart-way through the Bianconeri's Champions League game against Lyon last night.
Just as Sturaro took possession of the ball, the pressure of the fluid inside his cranium spiked, causing the 23-year-old to temporarily blank out and, dare we say, look a little foolish in doing so.
Just when you think football has reached it's vacuous nadir with the Wembley 'dab cam', you witness two players actually going out of their way to toss out a couple of 'dabs' mid-match not as goal celebrations, but during actual, proper open play.
Presumably passing for "skill" on the South African domestic scene, Free State Stars duo Langelihle Ndlovu and Pule Mmodi both performed the Paul Pogba-approved dance step in the latter stages of their recent Diski Challenge game againstPlatinum Stars.
Players from the Republic of Ireland are all too often erroneously grouped with British players by the footballing media. However, Sky's Jeff Stelling and Paul Merson took it all to a new level ahead of this weekend's Premier League action.
Discussing the English national teamon a Facebook Live event, Stelling and Merson pondered Harry Arter's possible inclusion in interim boss Gareth Southgate's first squad, despite the fact that the Bournemouth midfielder already has two caps under his belt for the Republic of Ireland.
During the U16 Asian Football Confederation Championship clash between Uzbekistan and DPR Korea, Uzbek 'keeperJasurbek Umrzakov scored an incredible goal from inside his own box. However, ridiculous theatrics from his North Korean opposite number points to something rather dodgy in action.
Youngster Umrzakov's punt flies over the head of Korean 'keeperGK Jang Paek Ho who is inexplicably miles outside of his own box.
Desperate to get back on the goal trail after scoring just his third Premier League goal of 2016 last weekend, Odion Ighalo dropped an absolute clanger when presented with an open goal against Manchester United.
With the game goalless at the time, Ighalo found himself stationed right in front of a gaping net with the ball at his feet following a communication breakdown between Chris Smalling and David De Gea.
Gary Neville was left a little red-faced today when he pulled what's known in the trade as "a Victor Anichebe" on social media.
Further destroying the facade that footballers actually expressany original thoughts of their own online, Neville posted a message in support of the Bobby Moore Fund's new 'Moore To Know' campaign.
Taking their inspiration from those appalling 'kiss-cams' which plague US sporting arenas, Wembley staff introduced the cringe-inducing 'dab-cam' during England's World Cup qualifier with Malta on Saturday.
The 'dab' originated in the Atlanta hip-hop scene around five years ago but with the likes of Paul Pogba and Jesse Lingard have turned it into a famous goal celebration over this side of the Atlantic.
York City have released defender Derwin Martina, just four short days after arriving at the club.
York agreed a deal to bring in the 22-year-old until the end of the season, believing him to be the brother of Southampton full-back Cuco Martina.
Indeed, the National League even announced as much when they broke the news on their official club website.
With his premeditated prose and propensity for meretriciousverbiage, Peter Drury is a commentator who tends to split opinion.
Some regard him as a footballing poet of sorts. Others think he's just a bit of a simpering gas bag.
Drury: Poet or gas bag?
Regardless, Drury is responsible for one of Pies' favourite commentary clangers of recent years, specifically the wonderful ricket he dropped while chuntering away over the 2014 World Cup semi-final between Argentina and the Netherlands.
Due to recent occurrences, the FA have been forced to ditch 4,000 t-shirts they were planning to give away to England fans at Wembley.
Indeed, the FA were hoping to stage a grand "homecoming celebration" for Sam Allardyce's first home game at Wembley against Malta next week, but have now shelved their plans for reasons we're hoping are abundantly obvious.
Mamadou Sakho has done his chances of ever playing for Liverpool again the power of good by openly complaining about his lack of first-team football on social media.
Having been dropped by Jurgen Klopp and sent home from the Reds' pre-season tour of the US for generally pratting about, Sakho is currently in limbo at Anfield after falling out of favour and struggling to come to terms with his deployment in the reserve ranks this season.
PSV were all but knocked out of the Eredivisie title race on Sunday afternoon thanks to a 2-1 defeat away against league leaders Feyenoord.
The scores were level at 1-1 until the 82nd minute when PSV 'keeper Jeroen Zoet conceded an own-goal that may take some explaining.
With Zoet having saved ashot right on thegoal-line, the Hawkeye systemconcluded the ball did not cross the whitewashand Feyenoord's protests were waved away.
Sod PSG-Barca; the real four-goal thriller of the night unfolded at Carrow Road, where Norwich and Newcastle played out a frenetic 2-2 draw.
Having gone 1-0 up less than 25 seconds after kick-off, Newcastle were swiftly pegged back by two quick goals from Jacob Murphy and Cameron Jerome.
The latter was a real peach, with 'keeper Karl Darlow claiming the assist courtesy of a truly woefulattempted clearance that was sliced directly into Jerome's path.
It would appear that Torquay United's decision to adopt a yellow home kit in 1954 caught Southport completely unawares when the two sides met in the National League on Saturday.
Knowing full well that they too traditionally play in yellow, Southport packed their new away kit for the long trip to Plainmoor.
Two Sparta Prague players are being made to train with the club's ladies' team after making sexist comments about a female match official.
Sparta goalkeeper Tomas Koubek took to social media to declare that "women belong at the stove" after Sunday's 3-3 draw with Brno after lineswomanLucie Ratajova missed an offside call in the build up to the away side's stoppage-time equaliser.
In their very own words, UEFA are crowing that themedia have turned out in force for the grand launch of the new Euro 2020 logoin London today.
Sadly, any keen-eyed members of the press horde will have already been privy to UEFA's latest tournament squiggle after theorganisationwent and published it on their very own website shortlybefore the big unveiling.