We haven't bothered to cover the whole Team GB Olympic 2012 football side palava mainly because proper Football Association business makes us nod off. Our view was that if/when the British powers-that-be stopped bickering and decided to field a unified squad to play, we would post photos of them looking hot.

By Oliver Sparrow, writing from London.

In the words of my unimpressed girlfriend as she caught me hunched in front of the computer screen in my darkened front room: "Bloody hell. You must be desperate!"

And in a sense, I was. My girlfriend was disappointed, but I was starting to get football withdrawal symptoms.