Mike Ashley has really done it now. In his efforts to rebrand Newcastle's stadium as sportsdirect.com@St James' Park, which I'm pretty sure is just a dyslexic email address, Ashley forced supporters to launch their own bid to buy the club from him and end his reign of embarrassment.

Well, Sting and the rest of The Police (you know, the other two guys who aren't Sting) are backing the Newcastle United Supporters Trust's totally originally titled "Yes We Can" campaign to gain control of the club.

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What's a bigger embarrassment? Real Madrid labouring to a 1-0 home win over Alcorcon with their big guns out on show, or Alcorcón demolishing Real Madrid 4-0 at their 3,000-capacity Santo Domingo stadium with half of the mini-Galacticos day-dreaming out on the pitch?

The answer? Both are equally disgraceful.

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All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award winning Dirty Tackle...

'80s Totti needs to be real. [ONTD]

Florentino Perez is already making excuses for this season. [FourFourTwo]

Iker Casillas is a matchmaker. [Kickette]

Newcastle fans are trying to buy their club to avoid further embarrassment.

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On the eve of Real Madrid's Copa del Rey second leg match against their third division embarrassment dealers, Alcorcon, Kaka yet again decided to try and do a good deed by answering the questions of local school children. The following is a transcript of that event.

Kaka: Good afternoon, children!

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It doesn't matter whether the night before I drank the local dry or was tucked up by ten o'clock with a hot mug of cocoa, I wake up too bloody early on the morning of a big game and can't go back to sleep again. As I'm lying in bed, telling my brain to switch off again so I can sleep, I play out scenario after scenario of how the day could go.

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Benfica handed Everton another painful lesson at Goodison Park. The two-goal margin of victory could actually have been larger, the Portuguese side missing several chances to increase the embarrassment for Moyes's men. In the event, Benfica settled for two second half goals, one from Saviola and one from Cardozo. Click to continue reading...

Another day, another Chelsea controversy. Hot on the heels of the ‘noise' surrounding Newcastle's decision to sell naming rights to St. James' Park, new Chelsea Chief Executive Ron Gourlay announced that Chelsea are considering something similar at Stamford Bridge.
And what outrage it has caused among many Chelsea fans.

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Another day, another Chelsea controversy. Hot on the heels of the ‘noise' surrounding Newcastle's decision to sell naming rights to St. James' Park, new Chelsea Chief Executive Ron Gourlay announced that Chelsea are considering something similar at Stamford Bridge.
And what outrage it has caused among many Chelsea fans.

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Big Story
Jack Warner has returned a handbag given to him by the England World Cup bid because of "embarrassment", launching even by his absurd standards a bizarre rhetorical attack on the Football Association.

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Late notice on this one thanks to the dunderheads at Comcast and some other issues beyond my control, so as a result, everyone who posts any pick at all gets 10 bonus points today.
Decent lineup of matches in the Champions League today, and like yesterday, these are the reverse fixtures of Matchday 3. Click to continue reading...

Liverpool's new CM going for a bit of a jog with senior physiotherapist Rob Price
Is this the man that will save Liverpool from embarrassment? That will solidify the club's Top 4 status (at least), send Anfield faithful on a deep run in the Champions League (at least) and perhaps even challenge for the Premier League title (doubtful)? Click to continue reading...

The head of the referees' union Alan Leighton wants Sir Alex Ferguson banned for claiming referee Alan Wiley was not fit enough.Fergie lambasted Wiley after his display in the draw with Sunderland FC and has since apologised for any embarrassment his remarks may have caused, but Leighton is keen to see the United chief is given more than just a slap on the wrist. Click to continue reading...

As international week rumbles on and as we find ourselves exhaling with anger at Sepp Blatter's sudden imposition of a seeding system on the World Cup play offs, as well as cringing with embarrassment at the vast improvement brought about on the Beeb's Football League show by replacing Championship with League One, Bhasin with Chapman, and Claridge with Rosenior, an idle moment has found me Click to continue reading...

I HAVE NOT THE WORDS to adequately express my thoughts about this photo.
I'm sure it's because I'm a pedestrian, parochial, flyover country rube and thus I don't appreciate high concept art.
Which I hope to God it is.
Because otherwise it's just a bunch of DC United players holding onto their junk while hopping about. Click to continue reading...

Saturday's match against Sunderland saw yet another questionable performance from current Manchester United keeper Ben Foster. United and Sunderland were tied at one all when a deft cross from Andy Reid was headed home by Black Cats striker Kenwyne Jones. Some (including Sir Alex Ferguson and Ben Foster) will argue that this goal was the result of Jones fouling Foster in order to win the cross.

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Saturday's match against Sunderland saw yet another questionable performance from current Manchester United keeper Ben Foster. United and Sunderland were tied at one all when a deft cross from Andy Reid was headed home by Black Cats striker Kenwyne Jones. Some (including Sir Alex Ferguson and Ben Foster) will argue that this goal was the result of Jones fouling Foster in order to win the cross.

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Arsenal now have 6 points from two Champions League group-phase matches.
I quite enjoyed the match.
They lined up like this:
Arshavin Van Persie Rosicky
Diaby Song Cesc
Clichy Vermaelen Gallas Eboue
Mannone
There's a lot of good players in that line-up, and Olympiacos were on the ropes for the full 90 minutes. Click to continue reading...

Mr. Delgadillo... Paul... May I call you Paul? I saw you at the game last night, Paul. You were amazing. I have never seen a referee possess so much grace and charm. You command respect from the soccer world, and the soccer world obliges.

Are you aware of your greatness? When you put on your uniform and look in the mirror, do you gaze upon yourself with the same admiration as I do?

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Liverpool was neither pretty nor convincing. But David Ngog's 66th-minute winner ensured that the Reds avoid the embarrassment of a replay against a League One side, Leeds United. Click to continue reading...

AP Photo

And those words are: Getting it done.

One week after giving up the most goals in team history, the Los Angeles Galaxy put together perhaps their most complete game of the season (though the Fire game at Toyota Park is in the running), shutting out a talented Toronto FC side to become only the fourth team in MLS history to record a shut-out immediately after giving up six goals.

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Last time KC and Dallas faced each other the Wizards took in 6 goals, alot of embarrassment and Curt Onalfo lost his job. Today, KC is looking for payback.

KC will be missing Jack Jewsbury who in all honesty needs a timeout since his level of play, just like Davy Arnaud's has been sub par.

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It is an uncomfortable truth that every club seems to have its achilles heel, a bone of contention that shows up the true colours of a certain section of its support, and in the case of Tottenham Hotspur it's Sol Campbell. Campbell's defection from White Hart Lane to Highbury in 2001 continues to infuriate Spurs supporters to distraction, and the extent to which this still seems to boil over should be an embarrassment to the club.

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Public displays of fake unity are never entirely convincing. Take Brown and Blair in the 2005 election campaign or Ritchie and Madonna in the final days of their marriage. However, the post-goal celebration between Franck Ribery and his boss Louis van Gaal was positively coital in its intensity. Click to continue reading...

Well, frankly, I wasn't expecting that.

Platini must be hiding under his duvet in embarrassment this evening as the Uefa appeals body came to the conclusion that, when it comes to accusing someone of deception, you have to be able to prove it.

This was what they had to say about it:

Following examination of all the evidence, notably the declarations of both the referee and the referees' assessor, as well as the various video footage, it was not established to the panel's satisfaction that the referee had been deceived in taking his decision on the penalty.

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Obama was just great last night, IMHO clear, inspiring, presidential. I am still amazed to hear complex thoughts uttered from that bully pulpit, having (unfortunately) gotten used to the smirking chimp.

Joe Wilson, meanwhile, is an embarrassment. Between Joe and the antics of their Guv, South Carolina definitely needs to hire a PR firm.

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There have been a few surprises after the first couple weeks in the English Premier League 2009-2010 season, such as Tottenham with 12 points after four games, and Manchester United's loss to the newly promoted Burnley.  Another one you can add to the list is Everton's start to the season.

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Four games into the season, and some pundits are already musing that Liverpool's dreams of bagging a maiden Premier League crown are all but shattered.
Rafael Benitez's men have kicked off the 2009-10 campaign in see-sawing fashion, with two losses (against Tottenham Hotspur and Aston Villa) and two wins (over Stoke City and Bolton Wanderers). Click to continue reading...

On a day where United were guilty of just six more fouls than Arsenal, Arsene Wenger has continued his bitter/sore loser routine by branding our club "anti-football". Of course, all of this is in defence of the divers he has in his team. I don't know how Arsenal fans feel about this one, but I certainly wouldn't enjoy Sir Alex Ferguson making excuses for diving and trying to paint it as not being such a crime.

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And Sean Michelle had to deal with it:

"Did we go to win? Yes. But if you give up two goals in the first nine minutes, it's not going to happen. If you get a red card in the first half, that doesn't help. It was a learning experience.
"I'm not saying that I take the loss easy.

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So then the Champions League draw proper has taken place, Arsenal have been drawn in a relatively easy looking group H. United face difficult looking away trips to Moscow, Wolfsburg and Besiktas. No doubting Fergie and the Glazer family were desperate to avoid being drawn against Real Madrid for very obvious reasons - at least the potential for great embarrassment for all concerned has for the Click to continue reading...

The Crew went to Mexico and lost, 5-0.

But it wasn't just a loss, it was an embarrassment. Cruz Azul did everything they needed to do, the Crew checked exactly zero things off of their list. Keeper mistakes, an own goal, a terrible PK call, and no hustle all night long all add to to a good old fashioned beat down.

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If we were talking about the Miami Dolphins losing by three field goals, it would have a decent result on the road despite having zero offensive production.

The bad news was that Miami FC lost to Carolina 9-0 on Wednesday night at WakeMed Park. The wheels have officially come off of the Blues' ride towards the playoffs.

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It's almost a year since the Islanders last visited Costa Rica. On August 27, 2008 the Islanders accomplished something never achieved by a U.S.A. league based team, get a result in Costa Rica!

That night the Islanders faced the Costa Rican powerhouse Liga Alajuelence, who took the lead on the 28th minute on a goal by Argenis Fernández.

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The smiles returned to the faces of the Manchester United players yesterday as the champions ran out five-nil winners over Wigan, it was a victory that was much needed following the midweek embarrassment at Turf Moor.After failing to capitalise on several good goal-scoring opportunities in the previous two games and then squandering three excellent chances in the first-half yesterday the visting Click to continue reading...

All tomorrow's parties: the service that tells you the result before the game has kicked off. You will be excused if you don't know that Celtic are playing Arsenal tonight, as the BBC has ordered a virtual blackout of news on the game. This follows the appalling embarrassment the Corporation faced after their "expert" Mark Lawrenson predicted [. Click to continue reading...