"A classic example of how one half naked dancing dude can get an entire party jumping in under three minutes. Shot at the Sasquatch Festival 2009".

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Just to prove that we're not all about violence and the infliction of pain here at DT, in lieu of a bad challenge, today we present Catania's Jorge Martinez doing his Michael Jackson happy dance after scoring the winning goal against Cagliari last Sunday.

See you don't need broken noses and little kids getting hit in the groin to start your day right.

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Ghana perform a goal celebration during their 4-0 win over England in the U-20 World Cup reminiscent of the dance from a music video made light years before any of them were born (maybe).

Match highlights, including the winners' wide array of choreography, after the jump...

[Photo: Globoesporte]

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Having just returned from a long layoff following wrist surgery and liposuction last weekend, you'd think Fat Ronaldo would be doing pretty well right about now. Well not so fast, cowboy. A Brazilian court has ordered him to take a DNA test in order to resolve a wacky paternity mystery. Here are the facts from the AFP:

The demand was made after a Brazilian resident of Singapore claimed the three-time FIFA Footballer of the Year was the father of her four-year-old boy.

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If you thought Big Phil Scolari's move to Uzbekistan was a tumble for someone not far removed from being considered one of the better managers in the world, you're clearly wrong. First of all, Scolari is getting paid like no one else and secondly, he's wearing pimp outfits and dancing at weddings.

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All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award winning Dirty Tackle...

Alright, so the angry Hitler videos are totally played out, but this was still funny. Hitler as a Millwall fan and the one who planned the violence on Tuesday? Sounds about right.

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On today's edition of Soccer AM's 3rd eye after Robbie Keane's emasculating bottle cap troubles and the leering Sky Sports anchor they shared a clip of Steven Gerrard busting out his interpretive dance moves just before a corner kick during the match against Spurs last weekend (1:52 into the video).

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At least the video game version. Don't be surprised if you see some litigation arise for this defamation of character disguised as a post-goal celebration because, let's face it, that's just horrible. What prostitute will want to be with him now? It's like a drunken Peter Crouch meets Michael Jackson meets running man in bed [. Click to continue reading...

vuoso
Originally uploaded by lakomun Así es el jugador Matias Vuoso ya es campeón con el Santos, y como es la afición mexicana tan noble que de algo tan feo hagan algo curioso y divertido.
¿De que hablo? del festejo del jugador argentino, tan feo como el calor de 44 grados pero tan divertido como tomarse una bebida refrescante en ese clima. Click to continue reading...

Inspired by The Spoiler's piece regarding Fergie's rhythm or lack thereof. Get up (get on up)

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Después del nefasto arbitraje de Monterrey - Tigres , de la rigidez del Chiquidracula Rodriguez y el buen juego de piernas(en el buen sentido) de Lupita Tovar arbitro auxiliar llega esta imagen del fútbol carioca, y no es Ana Paula Oliveira.
Es bien sabido que los brasileños llevan el fútbol y la música en la sangre, pero ahora hasta los árbitros aman el fútbol, me parece divertido, mientras no se distraiga del juego, este es un abanderado de la diversión. Click to continue reading...

The playoffs may be in full gear right now but it is also a good time to discuss which MLS coach will be fired for not getting his club to the post-season dance. Out of the five coaches, who's teams failed to reach the playoffs I really see two getting the boot in the coming months [...] Click to continue reading...

Pretty much a goal filled weekend in the MLS. One more club punched their ticket to the post season dance, while others are tightening the race for the final couple spots. I guess it would be wise to start with the action on Sunday first. In doing so I will start with the Houston-LA game. I [...] Click to continue reading...