We need to get this bloody image of Daniel Agger from our minds, pronto! Quick, Pippo Inzaghi... do something! Anything....

Anyway, all you ferosh futbolitas have probably heard of the epic show from Italy called Chiambretti Night. Well, their exotic dancers have been known to serenade the likes of Mourinho and Ancelotti 'live' on Botox Berlusconi's TV network as music plays in the background.

As The Dona Marches On.... / via Gettyimages

You know that baby wanted a photo with Martin Palermo... but his family stopped Veron's sleek black ride instead as it drove up to Estudiantes' training ground last week. The baby's got the "Papa, you lied. We were supposed to go to Boca's training ground, dammmit!

My my, The Figos look absolutely perfeito in that photo snapped in Paris last week! In many ways, it's good that the Portuguese midfielder decided to retire from football completely... He could teach dear Guti below a thing or two about wearing proper pants.

Oh Luca... it's been a long time / via Reuters

So he's not exactly the world's favourite man right now, but Titipo Henry has officially joined The Dona's recreational volleyball club after his handball against Ireland. Ok, instead of calling him a hypocrite like everyone, let's sit down and have a drink.

Alan Kardec, Douglas Costa and Giuliano are the three musketeers ya'll should be looking out for in the selecao. Granted, they didn't bring home the U-20 World Cup trophy, but thankfully, they have a pretty awesome sense of humour to make up for it... although Giuliano needs to stop showing off his body.

A mad rush to watch Algeria-Egypt last week... / via Globo

• For the love of Kun, the Rojiblancos have been slapped with a fine of 150 euros (about the cost of a decent La Liga ticket these days). Anyway, RFEF meted out that small punishment after Atletico's fans were said to have thrown objects at Pellegrini from the stands during the Madrid derby on November 7.

Kaka and Dani Alves welcome you to Day 4 of the Brazilian Bootcamp! And you really need to clap your hands at that photo. What on Earth were those two thinking?! They're putting all of us in the spirit of el clasico next week.

Poor Amauri... at the rate things are going for RobinHood's long lost cousin, he'll never find a national team to call his own! Before you blame it on Little John, it's all because Dopey and Lippi can't make up their minds.

Bruno Alves may be Portugal's Man of the Moment, but our sad and forgotten hero is Greaseano. He returned to training with the Pellegrini Pack yesterday, after witnessing his national team's narrow 1-0 victory over Bosnia. No one came to ask him if he wanted M&Ms during half time, so do forgive his bitterness.

Romario zones out.... Felipe Andreoli's twin on his right knows it isn't a big deal / via Globo

"This is how we do it in Brazil..." / via Reuters

In today's installment of the bootcamp..... a year has passed since the selecao last voted for the Brasileirao awards (Ay mi dio, now this is weird!) which recognises the best players in the league. Someone hand Adriano a trophy now..... no, not the sausage eating one!

What is Spain's key to beating Argentina tonight? If you believe Uncle Del Bosque, it's being tranquilo ("even when you're on a plane that's about to crash..." a Brazilian reporter once told us).

"We must always be thinking about maintaining our enthusiasm, because there is no comfort zone.

O... Roque! Le recordamos! / via Gettyimages

Bom dia, it's Day 2 of the Selecao bootcamp and the fun has just started! It was muscular therapy yesterday with Senor Paixão at their gym in the Four Seasons Hotel. Hulk and Fabulouso also shared a nice talk about the hotel curtains and you know they'll be BFF pretty soon!

Leonardo enjoys a nice, quiet moment....away from Uncle Fester!!! / via Gettyimages

The city of Alcorcón celebrated their shock victory over Real Madrid in style yesterday, as thousands lined the road to catch a glimpse of their heroes. Fans crowded around the team bus to welcome back their boys and we have to admit, it's certainly a beautiful image!

It's always sad when a death occurs in the football family.

Welcome to Selecao Bootcamp, Uma Tradição Futbolita! Everyone gather yourselves because it's that time of the year so ya'll better get excited. Anyway, our manos have landed in Qatar, more specifically, the Four Seasons Hotel where they're putting up during their stay in Doha.

Ah... muito legal! / via AP

Maybe Prime Minister Zapatero was right. It's good to see proverbial underdogs winning sometimes, and in a tournament like the Copa del Ray, upsets always seem to happen. Except we're talking about Real Madrid here and they're supposed to be formidable this season enough to cancel out their 26 year drought in this competition.

In the spirit of the World Cup season, allow Ballackwurst and co' to present to you with the new German national team kits. It seems to set in well on the shoulders, don't you think? Lieblich! Bastian Schweinsteiger is all "meh" in this photo below, but they all secretly love the extra space on the left to show off the arm muscles, so do not fear!

They may be lying in 17th place in the Apertura standings but River Plate's new museum in Buenos Aires is muy impresionante! Amigas, even George Lucas would be proud. It's like walking into the set of a sci-fi flick, except the only overweight Jedi available to welcome you would be Cristian Fabbiani.

Oh Dear...."Le soleil peut être très ennuyeux!" / via Reuters

• That's The Dona's son, Diego Sinagra and not a reincarnation of Wolverine, mind you. He demands that you give his papa all the respect in the world! "He was brutally attacked. Qualifying for the World Cup is his victory. My father deserved it as well as the rest of the nation.

Mexes : "Balotelli dude, DO NOT touch my hair man!" Balotelli : "Oh get a life" / via Gettyimages

(For Mari)

So it was Mask Wearing Extraordinaire, Martin Palermo's birthday yesterday (a November baby, like us. Now get running with that hint!) so Boca Juniors helped him to celebrate 36 years of his existence in this world.

Diego Perotti didn't know what he was in for when he decided to join Kanoute and Fabulousooo in their celebratory group hug! Anyway, Los palanganas fought hard in their 3-2 victory over Villarreal last night and Manolo Jimenez thinks it's all down to the fans.

Thiago Silva looks a little overwhelmed there, don't you think? ("So Pirlo, you want a hug too? Ok, let's widen the circle. Everybody make space") He scored twice in Milan's 2-1 win over Lazio yesterday, including an own goal for the visiting team!

Now we have the Greaseano Saturday Hat-Trick. Pay attention!/ via GettyImages

Desculpe, but it's our third Greaseano Saturday in a row and unfortunately, his persistent ankle injury means that he'll not ferociously parading around the field in the Derby Madrileno tomorrow. Yes, we hear the dejected howls all the way from the Moon, but they're doing all they can for him in the trance land of Amsterdam, so ya'll better APPRECIATE.