Congrats (and Happy Belated B-day to the most Gingerific man in La Liga) you crazy kids! Image Credit: Vanitatis.com.

While the global footy community is full of hot and heavy, high profile relationships, not all of them are as wonderful and easy going for us to cover as Xabi and Nagore's is.

Day five of our SPL Advent. Peace and goodwill to all me. It's a time for stout Hearts.
Somebody suggested that I could fill every day of this SPL Advent writing about Hearts.
And so I could.
The stories just keep coming.
On Thursday we got the news that the club had paid the players their November wages.

I've watched Diego Maradona's final World Cup match (a 2-1 victory over Nigeria played in Boston) at least ten times. Nigeria pushed Argentina back early with plundering counter-attacks, one of which led to the match's first goal a sumptuous chip that had more than a whiff of offside to it. Maradona was imperious that day though, Napoleonically strutting around the confetti-flaked pitch, drawing fouls, and making key passes for both of Argentina's goals free kicks finished by Claudio Canigga.

Suspension? Pah! After having his head turned more often than the girl in The Exorcist and throwing his toys out of the pram like repulsive confetti, Carlos Tevez's comeuppance has finally come. He has received a two-week suspension for anchoring his bolshy buttocks to the bench against Bayern Munich – but what happens after that?

Hello Gooners, my good friends. I've come to talk with you again. The fusty old cobwebs of the international break have been well and truly blown away with vengeance. Swivelling the old noggin and casting my eye back over the last 7 days, I've taken in a Premier League home game, an Arsenal Ladies match, an Arsenal Supporters' Trust meeting and a trip to Germany for a Champions League encounter.

By Chris Wright

Veteran 'keeper Rogerio Ceni (the highest scoring goalie of all time, with 103 career goals to date more on that in a minute) made his 1,000th appearance for Brazilian side Sao Paulo in their 2-1 victory over Atletico Mineiro last night and, in celebration of his astounding loyalty and longevity, was absolutely swamped in reams of red and white confetti and ticker tape after the final whistle.

I'm ready to make a Real Betis knock-off but it cannot be anywhere as entertaining as this one...
Hey kids, you realize that our beloved Robins are in the midst of a 4 game unbeaten streak? Sure, two of those matches were against the sub-NASL calibre Real Esteli and won both, but in a season polluted with bad news (DeRo leaving) and worse news (I thought YOU were supposed to be centre back tonight?

Ah, the GD. No, not "God damn" (although TFC's may make you blurt that) nor "Gerry Dobson" (although you may blurt "God damn, Gerry Dobson stop showing me TFC's GD!"). The GD we refer to today is of course "Goal Difference" (or differential if you're a high falutin' professor type. Nerd.) Currently Toronto FC has the worst GD in MLS at a whopping -19, a full -9 worse than the next most useless club.

By Chris Wright

In which UEFA transform a humble Danish Sunday League U14s match into a 'European Championship final' complete with thronging crowds, confetti and post-match interviews in order to promote the U21 Championships that are due to be held in the country this summer.

I don't want to dwell too much on the Blackburn game, I think we've all probably heard and said just about enough about it, likely none of what we have seen or heard has exactly been music to our ears nor honey for our tongues. Suffice to say I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in the manner of an Arsenal display.