Modern Football Is Rubbish: Juventus Hold Mock Press Conference To Welcome ‘Two New Signings’ On Board (Video)

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As modern professional football and vapid commercial endeavour continue to stride merrily hand-in-hand toward complete and hopeless saturation, Juventus have gone ahead and filed their latest offering.

Indeed, the Serie A giants have press-ganged Paulo Dybala, Douglas Costa, Federico Bernardeschi and Rodrigo Bentacur into staging a mock press conference to help unveil a pair of new signings signings famous for their "perfect shape" and "delicious skills".

Classic Football Adverts: Tony Adams Acts His Wooden Backside Off After Being Kidnapped By Jaffa Cake Gonks, 1998 (Video)

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Embed from Getty Images

As ever with a lucrative World Cup on the horizon, the great and the good of the advertising realm began shoehorning England players into their commercials to help shill their wares in the build up to France '98.

One such player was Tony Adams, who was roped in by McVities for a Jaffa Cakes campaign to help promote their new line of collectable orange 'gonks' a nefarious gang of Koosh balls with various facial features and limbs attached.

Classic Football Adverts: Alan Shearer Is Wooden As You Like In Timeless McDonald’s ‘Autograph’ Sketch, 1998 (Video)

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"Woor'll 'ave a fillet-oo-fish an a box of chickn dippahs an meerk it snappy lad..."

With all the will in the world, with his furrowed brow and voice less melodious than a dot-matrix printer, Alan Shearer simply is not a font of natural charisma.

As such, it shouldn't come as much surprise that the-then Newcastle striker struggled to inject much life into his dialogue after being plonked in the middle of a McDonald's advert duringthe run-up to the 1998 World Cup.

Retro Football Adverts: Joe Jordan Replenishes Missing Teeth With Quick Swig Of Heineken, 1978 (Photo)

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While you'd be hard-pushed to call Joe Jordan "beautiful" in the conventional sense, there was still a undeniable ragged, brawny charm to the toothless Scotland target man.

Indeed, Jordan lost four of his front teeth early on in his career when he had them kicked out during a reserves match at Leeds United.

Retro Football: Brian Clough’s Quartet Of Classic Adverts For Shredded Wheat, 1991/92 (Video)

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As he made a point of telling everybody all the time, Brian Clough really wasn't one to suffer flashy prima donna players gladly.

So it might come as something of a surprise that Cloughie dabbled in a few endorsement shills over the years, including a starring role in this series of adverts for Shredded Wheat from 1991 and 1992.

Fowl Play: Celebrating The Anniversary Of Blackburn’s Paradigm-Shifting Venkys Chicken Advert, 2011 (Video)

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When we talk about momentous, paradigm-shifting moments in modern football, they don't come much more seismic than thecontribution made to the pantheon by Blackburn Rovers onJune 28th, 2011.

Having taken over the previous year, Blackburn's new poultry-peddling owners Venkys decided to use their glamorous Premier League asset to help promote their fowl wares.

Classic Football Adverts: Peter Schmeichel Sings For His Supper In Danepak Danish Bacon Commercial, 1998 (Video)

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The year was 1998 and Danepak had a line of classic dry cure bacon they needed to flog on UK television.

Obviously, the advert in question was for Danish produce and also involved singing so Peter Schmeichel, Manchester United and Denmark goalkeeper and the son of a concert pianist, was the obvious choice.

Portuguese Commercial Sees Cristiano Ronaldo Reenacting Classic Scenes From ‘Home Alone’ (Video)

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If you've ever wondered just how 'Home Alone' would look if the small blonde child playing Kevin McAllister were replaced by a shirtless, oiled, muscle-bound adult male, then wonder no longer Cristiano Ronaldo is here to oblige.

At the behest of Portugeuese telecommunications company MEO, Ronaldo has recreated several scenes from 1990's classic of the parental neglect genre, including the iconic 'aftershave scream' and the 'Keep the change, ya filty animal' bit.

2014 Super Bowl Commercial: Puppy Love

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Budweiser Super Bowl Ad 2014 Puppy Love by Super Bowl Ads

As Super Bowl commercials go this one would melt the coldest of Hearts and is one of my personal favourites!

And the Dogs cute too!

Roma's Francisco Totti & Michael Bradley Star in VW Commercial

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Volkswagen has recently started airing a commercial in Italy, as part of its Viva il Calcio campaign, featuring Roma's Francesco Totti and Michael Bradley playing of the language divide with each making attempts at speaking the other's language.


Roma's Francisco Totti & Michael Bradley Star in VW Commercial

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Volkswagen has recently started airing a commercial in Italy, as part of its Viva il Calcio campaign, featuring Roma's Francesco Totti and Michael Bradley playing of the language divide with each making attempts at speaking the other's language.


Roma's Francisco Totti & Michael Bradley Star in VW Commercial

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Volkswagen has recently started airing a commercial in Italy, as part of its Viva il Calcio campaign, featuring Roma's Francesco Totti and Michael Bradley playing of the language divide with each making attempts at speaking the other's language.


Mario Balotelli Gets a Haircut Because His Time is Now

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As Euro 2012 approaches, Italian striker Mario Balotelli has made the news because of his reasonable response to the potential racist atmosphere in Poland and the Ukraine and now he's featured in the new Nike line of Football commercials - My Time is Now:

Just in Time for the Euros: Nike's "My Time is Now"

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Nike likes putting out big concept commercials connected to major soccer events, here's the latest:

New Portland MLS Video

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I love the hype Portland is doing for next year. First the billboard in Seattle and now it looks like the commercials are starting to roll out. Quality stuff too.

Video: Mighty Drogs stars in Nike’s latest World Cup advert

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Brilliant. For archival purposes, obviously.

Coca-Cola unveils World Cup TV ads

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Coca-Cola is unveiling three new television advertisements as part of its global marketing campaign to support its sponsorship of the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa.

English Premier League

Arsenal tour of Asia has proved valuable for lots of reasons

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Was Arsenal's preseason Asia tour a success? by KJ

Arsenal finished their final match of the Asia tour against Urawa Red Diamonds with a win and will now return to England to prepare for the Emirates cup next week. My question is though, was this pre-season tour a success? For me, it's a resounding yes.

best english premier league commercial ever – פרסומת הליגה האנגלית

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Online video Score: four / five

Manchester United players in Vodka Smirnoff’s ‘Purity’ commercial

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Diageo's flagship Smirnoff brand has launched an above-the-line campaign featuring three stars of Manchester United playing a surreal game of football above and below water.

Vela Out Up To 10 days With Injury

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In a story from the Associated Press, it appears that Mexico forward Carlos Vela is doubtful to Mexico's next game against Uruguay. According to a source, it is possible that the forward could miss anywhere from 7 to 10 days due to a leg muscle injury. The team has not released any information about his injury, so the source had to speak on a condition of anonymity.


FOX Soccer Bends The Truth To Make “Being: Liverpool” Sound Like Critics Like It

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FOX Soccer has a new TV commercial that's currently running in heavy rotation on its network to promote its "Being: Liverpool" marathon, which will air this weekend. The 30-second commercial seems innocuous enough, making viewers...

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When Will Vela Be Fully Unveiled?

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Given that Arsene Wenger revealed that he was the sole reason the Arsenal manager didn't go out and buy a ready-made replacement for Manchester City bound Emmanuel Adebayor in the summer, that the Arsenal manager sees many similiarities between him and former Liverpool striker Robbie Fowler and that the 20 year old Mexican has been hailed as one of the brightest young footballers in the world for several years now, many Arsenal fans must be wondering when Carlos Vela is going to be given a chance to stake a claim for a regular place in the first team.

David Beckham

David Beckham Will Be In The Super Bowl - Well In A Super Bowl Ad

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In recent years, Swedish clothing retailer H&M has made strides in growing its brand in the United States, and it seems they've decided to take a major step in brand recognition by paying $3.5 million to air a commercial during Sunday's Super Bowl. What better way to make a splash in your first Super Bowl commercial than by having it star one of the world's most recognizable football players, David Beckham?

New Sofia Vergara Pepsi Commercial, with that Beckham Guy

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The Colombian star of ABC's Modern Family has a new Pepsi commercial with a soccer related twist.

Latest Articles

Everton FC Releases Accounts

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Everton Football Club has released its statement of accounts for June 1 2009 to May 31 2010. The accounts reveal that the Everton Football Club Company Limited generated turnover of £79.1m, offset by operating costs of £79.6m.

Virtual entertainment for Manchester United stars in Turkish Airlines campaign

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Turkish Airlines has unveiled its first campaign of the year featuring Manchester United Football Club players.

Landon Donovan

Is NFL Taking its Cue from Viral Video of Landon Donovan's Goal Against Algeria?

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On his twitter feed today, Beau Dure said, "Just saw an NFL ad that looked quite a bit like the YouTube montages of people celebrating Donovan's World Cup goal."

So, here are the two videos - you be the judge:

ESPN Commercials: Landon Donovan and Jozy Altidore

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World Cup

England 2018 World Cup bid fails

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English businesses will miss out on an estimated £3bn windfall after FIFA awarded the 2018 World Cup to Russia.

Five things you need to know about: Marketing at the 2010 FIFA World Cup

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Mike Jackson tells us 5 things we need to know about how brands should be deploying their marketing activities at this summer's 2010 FIFA World Cup tournament.

Totti for Vodafone

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With the 2010 World Cup approaching, there will be plenty of new advertisements featuring our favorite players. This one features Italian National player and Roma player Francesco Totti for Vodafone. Enjoy!BallHype - Totti for Vodafoneballhype_story_widget_1315271(false);


The Nike Ad That Came Before The Nike Ad

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In the real world, it's awfully rare that I come across anything football-related in my travels, and yet I simply have not been able to escape That Nike Ad for the last week obviously for good reason. The YouTube embed is positively everywhere, in the most obscure, unsporting of places, putting the virus into viral, and causing nightmares of Wayne Rooney doing Brad Pitt's accent from Snatch.

Footy Videos

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I saw this video and could not resist posting it.

This is the second video of the FA's football participation programme. Looking a lot like Guy Ritchie's Nike commercial (see that video below) however it is much better because it offers much better insight of what football really is.

The Rest

Real Madrid to Sue Catalan Station TV3 Over Controversial Video

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Mesut Ozil of Real Madrid (Photo by Jasper Juinen/Getty Images)

The airing of Televisió de Catalunya's (also known as TV3) video depicted current Real Madrid players as hyenas out to get Lionel Messi, among other Barcelona players.

When eyes were laid on the controversial video, tempers flared.

Lionel Messi Can’t Beat Ice Cream

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He might be able to defeat Gerd Muller's record for goals in a calendar year, and he might eventually assume the throne for G.O.A.T., but when it comes down to a little kid, he can't beat ice cream. And neither can Kobe Bryant, for that matter.

But they'd probably kill it at a carnival with those balloon animals and houses of cards.

Old Banned David Villa Commercial “Thrashes Police Car”

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This is the commercial which Barcelona banned from being aired as it would not be good for the image of the club?

The commercial features Spanish striker David Villa thrashing a Police car with the famous Jabulani ball for a commercial advertising computer game "Need for Speed" shortly after signing for the Catalans in 2010.

MLS in Pop Culture: The Brek Shea is Popular in Kentucky Prisons?

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Mags Bennett's only surviving issue, Dickie Bennett, had an important role in one of the developing story arcs during last night's episode of Justified on FX. As you can see from the above picture, it appears that Dickie has been spending his time in prison watching MLS matches and taking hair styling inspiration from F.

Celtic eye partnership with Mexican club in bid to expand their brand

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CELTIC Football Club is delighted to announce a prospective new partnership with Mexican Premier League Football Club Santos Laguna. It is the intention that the new arrangement will allow Celtic and Santos to exchange a range of ideas which will benefit the footballing and commercial dimensions of both clubs.

Brazilian Ronaldo is a dinosaur (for half an hour at least!)

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This is Brazilian Ronaldo showing he has a sense of humour, in a "behind-the-scenes" look at an actual television commercial.

He is revealed to be the Godzilla-like, CGI-generated dinosaur who causes havoc by appearing in a football stadium, scoring a goal, then causing the pitch to dislodge from the earth when he celebrates.