The 2011/12 Premier League poem...

Comedian (and AFR reader) Spencer Owen sent his brilliant "Premier League poem" our way. The poem reflects on all the madness that unveiled itself over the past nine months. With lines like, "Wigan learned the Premier League is no bed of roses.

Actor and comedian Tom Arnold will appear in a segment during this Saturday's UEFA Champions League Final on FOX, the free-to-air network. Arnold will be traveling to Munich to watch the final between Chelsea and Bayern Munich. Presumably Arnold...
This is a content summary. Visit http://www.

In the end, Chelsea demolished Tottenham 5-1, though it took a series of horrible refereeing decisions by Martin Atkinson while the game was still close to tilt what had been a largely even game in their favour. No matter the help they received along the way, it sets up an FA Cup final in three weeks that will see them face Liverpool for the third time this season, with a fourth match to come between the cup final and the end of the campaign.

By Chris Wright

"It's Creek on the left, dips inside..."

Comedian Alan Davies has apologised over comments he made on his football podcast about Liverpool's refusal to play on the anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster a steadfast decision that has had the knock-on effect of leaving Chelsea with just three days between their game against Tottenham (Sunday 15th April) and the first leg of their Champions League semi-final against Barcelona.

We all know that there's nothing Mario Balotelli enjoys more than stealing the thunder. And he did just that at Inter's unveiling of their new coach, Andrea Stramaccioni in Milan yesterday. Thank God Ranieri has finally left and taken his raincoat with him- even if some of you Interistis believe he should've brought Diego Forlan on the way out!

By Alan Duffy

'Danny, mate, I've got this great Chubby Brown joke about Africans.....'

I've said it before and I'll say it again clubs should ban their players from using Twitter it's becoming the ultimate source of high-profile faux-pas and own-goals, with our dearly beloved football players often Tweeting before they've engaged their brains.

To err is human. To err gravely is footballer. In the last few months, we've seen some pretty atrocious actions by a few soccer players. The EPL has been marred by dissidents and racists. La Liga has been cursed by malevolent dubsteppers. However, I always hate the sin, not the sinner. And by "sin" I don't mean "Sin Bad", although I never did get the contemporary comedian's jokes.

Click here to view the embedded video.

In this week's instalment of our new favourite footie show, Chris Cohen challenges comedian Jim Smallman and powerboat racer Sarah Donohue to guess which pretties we featured on our revamped Finest Five list.

You should watch:

- Chris's quite beautiful declaration of undying love to Frank Lampard (1:07)

- Jim's blatant attempt to win our favour by correctly pointing out that "the Kickette readers are definite, massive football fans" (4.

The Kickette round commences at 38.29. But really, you should watch the whole show. You're clearly not busy, because you're here.

If our appearance on ESPN's Talk Of The Terrace didn't give you a hint that boys have no clue what a woman wants from a footballer, our latest foray into TV territory certainly should.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has announced that former Gunners legend Thierry Henry has re-joined the club on a two month loan deal from MLS side New York Red Bulls.

It comes as no surprise in football circles that the Frenchman has returned to his spiritual home, having been training with the London club during the MLS off-season, but will this move make or break the Gunners stuttering season?

'The more I practice the luckier I get ' The JimmyG2 column For over 20 yrs from the mid fifties Fulham's Chairman was the comedian Tommy Trinder. He was President of the club until his death at 80yrs old in 1989. His catchphrase, 'You lucky people', could no doubt be heard resounding around the great Stadium in the Sky on Sunday night after his beloved team, though themselves no mugs on

Gazzetta dello Sport Eto'o Inter, yes we can Moratti doesn't close the door to a loan ‘It's a strange idea. I'd say it is 90% not going to happen' Ghana ready to ‘kidnap' Boateng for six weeks He could say yes to the African Nations Cup. Thiago Silva is ready for Palermo. Totti jokes: ‘Reja is our derby hero' Rocchi responses with "it is Totti who is the comedian, joke fits!

100% Bent We brought you footage of Premier League parody Jason Bent as far back as 2009. Alas he's since taken a backseat to comedian Simon Brodkin's nauseating other creation Lee Nelson. But Bent still makes the occasional appearance. This week he's been interviewed for Football Focus by Robbie Savage.

This time of year, we're used to watching NBA preseason action. However, with the NBA lockout putting things on hold, we'll have to settle for exhibition games of another sort. But there's an interesting one being put together that will take place on the campus of Florida International University on October 8th.

Thommo backs LFC initiative

Phil Thompson and comedian Chris Cairns were the guests of honour at a celebratory men's health event held at Anfield on Thursday afternoon.

View the full story here: Liverpool FC

A news article on 2011-09-23 08:28:37 from: Liverpool FC

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Trainer, ich schwöre bei meiner Mutter: Ich geh schlafen. Ich bin fit.

Marko Arnautovic, österreichischer nicht immer ganz pflegeleichter Nationalspieler, wurde am Telefon von einem österreichischen Comedian, der sich als Nationaltrainer Didi Constantini ausgab, reingelegt.

Jozy Altidore loves Justin Beiber. Well, not really, but he's definitely an admirer of the singer based on one reason: Altidore has seen Beiber play.

Watch the above interview with Altidore, who is now in Holland with his club team AZ Alkmaar. The interview was conducted by comedian Mark Malkoff, who achieved worldwide media attention by living and sleeping in an IKEA store in Paramus, New Jersey for an entire week.

Hillsborough e-petition may lead to parliamentary debate

Government obliged to respond after more than 110,000 people call for immediate release of Cabinet Office documents An e-petition calling for the immediate release of Cabinet Office documents relating to the 1989 Hillsborough disaster has gained more than 110,000 signatures, forcing the government to consider a parliamentary debate.

This is a Guest Post from Alan Machnik who is a comedian and an Arsenal supporter. This is his first post on his new website called ArsenalBanter.com. It's fact that Arsenal fans definitely need a sense of humour...... Through The Transfer Window by Alan Machnik It's that time of year when the Transfer Window arrives [.

Roy Keane and Henrik Larsson will make emotional returns to Manchester United and Celtic respectively to-night to raise fund for Oxfam's East African Famine Appeal.

Keane will be joined by 1999 historic Treble winners team-mates Ole Gunnar Solksjaer and Dwight Yorke for the the Charity match against Celtic.

"30 Rock" star and stand up comedian Judah Friedlander has been making the American soccer rounds of late and he appears in this pretty hilarious commercial for the Major League Soccer All-Star Game (July 27 vs. Manchester United... like it says at the end of the clip).
I'd like to see Friedlander ball it up at next year's "Showdown in Chinatown" charity match.

By Chris Wright

In which, courtesy of comedian Anthony Richardson (the man behind the classic 'Clive Tyldesley Lives In My Nipple' sketch), an irate German farmer is outraged as his crops are overcome by a very specific strain of blight...

We know the feeling.

Den Kultkaiser oder den knorrigen Louis van Chaaal kennt in Deutschland sicher jeder Fussballfan. Dass dahinter der Comedian Matze Knop steckt ist auch jedem bekannt und dass er auch noch weitere Personen aus dem Fussballgeschäft parodiert sowieso. Da bekommt Dortmunds Meistertrainer Jürgen Klopp genauso sein Fett weg wie Wolfsburgs Felix Magath oder wie unser aller [.

What is it with former Gunner's these days?
Most of them can't wait to have a pop at Arsenal or Arsene Wenger.
The latest is from 'comedian' pundit Paul Merson.
By all accounts during his time with Wenger at Arsenal players were given a 'yellowy product' and a 'dark tablet'.

Let's start this quickee Monday post edition with a thought -- has every, single possible joke, gripe or complaint about Daylight Savings Time been beaten deader than a Kentucky Derby also-ran? There is literally not one thing that can be said about it that doesn't come off like an unironic comedian complaining about airplane food.

PARIS, France French soccer star Zinedine Zidane launched a legal complaint on Friday against a comedian for insulting him in a sports magazine over his support for Qatar's successful bid to host the World Cup, his lawyer said on Friday.ac Lawyer Alberto Brusso said he was suing comedian Christophe Aleveque and the magazine Sportmag [.

PARIS, France French soccer star Zinedine Zidane launched a legal complaint on Friday against a comedian for insulting him in a sports magazine over his support for Qatar's successful bid to host the World Cup, his lawyer said on Friday.ac Lawyer Alberto Brusso said he was suing comedian Christophe Aleveque and the magazine Sportmag [.

One is an in-form Arsenal midfielder, the other is a very obvious and unfunny comedian...and it just so happens that they look a like...(Cheers Guradian blog for pointing the likeness out!)

During his early career Nasri gained more praise than your typical god.

Alle Jahre wieder kommt nicht nur Weihnachten und der Jahreswechsel, sondern auch die Diskussion um die Sendezeit der Sportschau. Bisher konnten die ARD als Sender immer noch eine Verlegung der Sportschau nach 20 Uhr verhindern, aber es wird immer mit jeder Diskussion enger und daher stellen auch wir uns die Frage, ob wir bald die [.