By Chris Wright

In which, during a training session yesterday, Boca Juniors striker Dario Cvitanich runs into and then through the pain barrier in quite the most literal sense largely courtesy of a helpful shove from an over-zealous teammate.

(Warning: there's a wee bit of spilt claret in the video, so if you're of a squeamish disposition it's perhaps better to stare at this picture of kittens for the next few minutes instead.

"I never knew that music like that was possible!"

After watching the second half of yesterday's Clasico, I'm beginning to see Mourinho as Salieri to Guardiola's Mozart. When a team of Madrid's caliber gets schooled and forced into errant passes and frantic individual dribbles on offense and desperate tackles on defense, huffing shadow-chasing and hapless outreached hands pleading for offside calls that won't come, the opposition must be touched by the divine; the divine stringing of passes, la pelota always kept just a fleeting inch away from Madrid's lunging cleats, and importantly, the divine total defense, which at one point saw Özil attempting to dribble into the box only to be surrounded by seven (7!

I would like to start by congratulating Manchester City FC for producing a resounding victory for football.

By losing to Chelsea last night in the match amusingly referred to by someone on Twitter as "El Cashico," they have helped demonstrate to the world just how amazing Arsenal's achievement in going a season unbeaten really was.

I would like to start by congratulating Manchester City FC for producing a resounding victory for football.

By losing to Chelsea last night in the match amusingly referred to by someone on Twitter as "El Cashico," they have helped demonstrate to the world just how amazing Arsenal's achievement in going a season unbeaten really was.

Andy Williams, the last remaining original member of the expansion Real Salt Lake's inaugural 2004 season, announced his retirement today. The 14-year veteran will join RSL as a member of its technical staff.
From MLSoccer.com:

Williams, 34, was the last remaining member of the original RSL team, joining the club with the first pick of the 2004 MLS Expansion Draft and spending the rest of his playing days representing the Claret and Cobalt.

United may not have had the best of weeks but the bookmakers make them a top priced 1.73 to bounce back and notch an away victory over Aston Villa and the stats suggest they will do just that.

Sir Alex Ferguson's young guns were frustrated in their 1-1 draw with Newcastle last weekend, as Javier Hernandez's opener was cancelled out by Demba Ba following a controversial penalty decision that the gaffer described as "shocking".

It was so nearly a vital three points for Alex McLeish away from home thanks to goals from Stiliyan Petrov and what should have been a late winner from Richard Dunne to cancel out Conor Wickham's first half leveller.
Unfortunately, the familiar sight of a late goal coming from a set piece returned when 5'7″ Stéphane Sessègnon helped himself to a free header with one minute of normal time left on the clock.

In Major League Soccer's odd playoff format this is the only two leg series (tie, whatever). In order to grant the higher seed an actual advantage it hosts the second leg and a potential for overtime on its own soil. Overtime is reached if the scoreline over the two matches in the series are tied with no regard away goals.

Up until the very last day of the transfer window it had looked as if much of the deadwood was staying at the Lane. However, deals can happen very quickly and Jermaine Jenas and David Bentley will both be lining up in claret and blue this season, and their lack of first team action at Spurs could see both deals becoming permanent.

By Chris Wright

What we have here is grizzly footage from before Sivasspor's recent friendly with FK Rad Belgrade, in which the Turks kick off preceedings by getting a tarpaulin down on the touch line and slitting a live lambs throat (to a ripple of warm applause) before smearing the claret all over their boots.

It's a pretty rare event that we'll receive official confirmation of an agreement being reached to purchase a player before the actual transfer itself is announced, but that's apparently the situation with Charles N'Zogbia. It's all over bar the shouting.

I'm sure such steps wouldn't have been taken if it wasn't a formality, it's just a shame that the player won't have the chance to hook up with his new team mates in Hong Kong due to a lack of work visa.

Why McLeish needs Scott Parker at Villa

Alex McLeish's reign as Aston Villa manager effectively started today when he met his new squad for the first time since crossing the Second City. I think many of us, myself included and some of Villa's players too no doubt, are still coming to terms with his controversial decision to swap blue and white for claret and blue.

By Chris Wright

The second semi-final of the U17s World Cup between Germany and Mexico produced one of the games of the tournament, with the South American's pinching a 3-2 victory at the death courtesy of the bruised and bloodied Julio Gomez (he was stretchered off the pitch earlier in the game with claret pouring from a cut on his noggin) and his acrobatic winner.

Only at West Ham United could the much heralded launch of the the new home and away kit- complete with countdown clock scheduled for 9.30 tomorrow morning- be scuppered by an enterprising Hammers fan who had the genius insight to type '2011/12 kit' into the search engine on the new online site. I mean seriously, doesn't every e-commerce package have a fail-safe time and date release mechanism that should make this kind of slip impossible?

I don't know if a player or manager has ever literally been 'unveiled', but I'd love to see it happen once and, given the odd nature of this whole appointment, this would have been an ideal occasion. Can you imagine if a claret & blue chequered sheet was whipped away matador style to reveal the new manager sheepishly sat there waiting for questions?

Claret and Blues start to look very Blue We're beginning to wonder. Not only is ex-Birmingham manager Alex McLeish on the verge of becoming Aston Villa's new manager, but he is set to bring defender Scott Dann with him. This is all getting a bit too suspicious and we can only conclude that Carson Yeung [.

I don't think I'd classify this as a good day to bury bad news although your tastes may cause you to disagree, but while we're all wailing and gnashing teeth over the Alex McLeish debacle, it appears that the new 2011/12 away shirt may have found its way on to the internet.

I stress may because unlike the 2011/12 home shirt, which I have very high resolution pictures I obtained myself, I'm not sure of the authenticity of this one.

I don't think I'd classify this as a good day to bury bad news although your tastes may cause you to disagree, but while we're all wailing and gnashing teeth over the Alex McLeish debacle, it appears that the new 2011/12 away shirt may have found its way on to the internet.

I stress may because unlike the 2011/12 home shirt, which I have very high resolution pictures I obtained myself, I'm not sure of the authenticity of this one.

Probable contenders for Villa Park hotseat - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

Gerard Houllier's mutual departure from Aston Villa last week has left us all guessing as to who will take over the reins at Villa Park. Normally we would have a fair idea as to who that will be, but at the moment it is anyone's guess who will be implemented by Chairman Randy Lerner.

If you ask Pep Guardiola which team were his most difficult opponents en route to winning the Champions League, I can guarantee that his answer won't be Manchester United.

It will, of course, be Arsenal.

In yesterday's final at Wembley, United were clueless and gutless.

They scored with practically their only attempt on goal and for the rest of the game were chasing shadows.

Wow. What a day! The game wasn't all that thrilling, but Liverpool have been beaten at Villa Park for the first time in 13 years thanks to a superb strike from Stewart Downing and, with the other results today, we end up finishing in 9th place. A top half finish, on top of the Midlands once again despite our worst performance over 38 games for five years.

Wow. What a day! The game wasn't all that thrilling, but Liverpool have been beaten at Villa Park for the first time in 13 years thanks to a superb strike from Stewart Downing and, with the other results today, we end up finishing in 9th place. A top half finish, on top of the Midlands once again despite our worst performance over 38 games for five years.

Despite a bizarre series of decisions by referee Mark Geiger which led to the Philadelphia Union going down to ten men, they were still able to collect a win over the San Jose Earthquakes Saturday afternoon at PPL Park by the familiar scoreline of 1-0.

It was the Union's fourth win of the season, which all have finished at 1-0.

By JOSE M. ROMERO

With a win at home Wednesday night, where Real Salt Lake hasn't lost in 37 straight matches, the 2010-2011 CONCACAF Champions League trophy will find a home in Sandy, Utah.

It's quite a story. Real Salt Lake has become the darling of soccer in America, with fellow MLS clubs among the many who've gotten behind the claret-and-blue shield in mass show of support for the club.

By Neil W. Blackmon Last week was one of the more eventful seven day periods in the history of MLS thanks o Real Salt Lake's 2-2 draw at Monterrey, and with the return leg Wednesday night providing the Claret and Cobalt an opportunity to be the first MLS side to win the competition in its [...]

There are certain things Arsene Wenger never does.

These include never inviting pube-scratching meat-head managers of opposition teams to sample his fine claret after a game; never responding to chants of "Arsene Arsene give us a wave" with anything other than the sort of brief, embarrassed arm-flick normally only used by teenagers horrified to have bumped into their dad while out with their mates; and never subbing off a player at half time when they're playing crap.

Commando. Truly, one of the great films of the ‘80s, quite the celluloid embodiment of the all-action-no-plot mentality. From start to finish it is held together by the very wispiest of fragile plots, whilst also punctuated by numerous illustrations of the linguistic difficulties that Arnold Schwarzenegger never quite mastered ("All that matters to me now is Chenny").

By Chris Wright

Thomas Hitzlsperger marked his long-awaited debut and opened the scoring for West Ham against Burnley in the FA Cup Fifth round last night, firing home from the edge of the area with a trademark Hitzlsperger™ of a strike...

My, how West Ham could have done with a few more of those this season.

By Don Gold

With West Ham winning the race to move into the Olympic Stadium, the club's vice chairman Karren Brady this week outlined her dream of what their first game in their new home might be like.

But the trouble with dreams is that you never know whether they'll turn out to be nightmares.

Wheeeeee!
Thus ends another "silly season" in European soccer. For us Americans there is hardly an equivalent to the insanity of the rumors, speculation, and maddening amounts of money that are thrown around during the transfer window and particularly the closing days of it. The always brilliant Brian Phillips (of Run of Play fame) wrote for Slate.

Photo by lism

I can't remember the last time I had a chance to watch Liverpool play in the early Saturday kick-off, so it'll be a treat to see them play in the early match against a Wolverhampton Wanderers side who are cruising after they recent victories against Chelsea and Liverpool.

Give me a break Theo

Forgive me but my creative juice is not exactly flowing. That is the best title I could come up with. This was supposed to be a tight game. West Ham generally raise their game when we come for a visit. Unfortunately for them, no one told new boy Wayne Bridge. He is on loan from Manchester City but surely now Avram Grant is regretting the decision to sign him.

Aston Villa have completed the signing of Jean Makoun from Lyon for a fee thought to be in the region of €6m* possibly rising by a further €3m depending on performances. The 27 year old brings a wealth of experience with almost 250 Ligue 1 appearance, more than 50 European appearances and 56 caps for Cameroon including four African Nations Championships and the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we finally won a game thanks to goals from Kyle Walker, who made one of the most impressive debuts we've seen in claret and blue in recent memory, Marc Albrighton and Stiliyan Petrov.

The bad news is that the scoreline flatters us; it wasn't pretty at times, and we finished the game with ten men after Ashley Young was dismissed for what was a very soft second booking, meaning that we'll be without both Emile Heskey and Young for the Birmingham game now.

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we finally won a game thanks to goals from Kyle Walker, who made one of the most impressive debuts we've seen in claret and blue in recent memory, Marc Albrighton and Stiliyan Petrov.

The bad news is that the scoreline flatters us; it wasn't pretty at times, and we finished the game with ten men after Ashley Young was dismissed for what was a very soft second booking, meaning that we'll be without both Emile Heskey and Young for the Birmingham game now.

SANDY, Ut Real Salt Lake and Chivas USA announced Tuesday that RSL Assistant Coach Robin Fraser has departed the 2009 MLS Cup champions after three-and-a-half seasons on the Utah club's sideline to take over the head coaching duties at the Southern California side, effective immediately. The recently turned 44-year-old Fraser becomes the sixth coach [.