KANSAS CITY – My SI.com assignment last night was to generate our expanded player ratings, a meaty chunk of text on each player's performance rather than the skinnier version we sometimes do.

For the grades themselves, you can go here and see for yourself. The espresso shooter version from the United States' 1-0 win over tiny Guadeloupe is this: defenders scored highly, the midfielders fairly average and the pair of forwards received two very different grades.

"You needn't think you're going to slob around the house all day you know".

"I'm on holidays. I can if I want".

"You insolent pup, you can get out at once and do those chores I set for you".

"But Daaaaad ..."

"Don't you 'but Daaaaaad' me. There's work to be done".

"Awww, can't I just-"

"No, you can not.

There may not be any mid-week Liverpool match to look forward to, but at least there are a handful of international friendlies. To sort of half look forward to, I guess. Because it's football, and what would you rather be doing? Working? Doing chores? Eating a nice meal with your family? So, yeah.