It's finally happened. Fat Ronaldo has admitted that he's a chubby tub of goo. (A very talented chubby tub of goo, but still a chubby tub of goo, nonetheless.)

In an interview with Globo television, The Fat One, who has 11 goals for Corinthians this season, said that he wouldn't call himself up to the Brazilian national team right now, that he will put forth perhaps the greatest effort of his career to make the team, and that he thinks the first half of 2010 will be vital blah blah blah.

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Mladen Petric (Hamburger / Croatia NT) checks to see if his wife Despina has eaten anything this week. We kid, we kid. But still, someone throw this beautiful woman a jacket potato with cheese or something? They're at the GQ awards in Germany, btw. Click to continue reading...

Mladen Petric (Hamburger / Croatia NT) checks to see if his wife Despina has eaten anything this week. We kid, we kid. But still, someone throw this beautiful woman a jacket potato with cheese or something? They're at the GQ awards in Germany, btw. Click to continue reading...

Is this the curse of Rubin Kazan? Even exasperated Pep has run out of hand movements to last the entire game... and you know that's bad!

Anyway, after pulling off a shock victory at Nou Camp, everyone from the strange bloke who looks like Robert Pattinson on crack to the stray cat next door is wondering if the mighty Barca are really faltering.

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Another requisite round of crazy talk from the CONCACAF big cheese, with his true colors on full display for the world's appreciation... Turning to bidding for the 2018 World Cup, Warner called the English campaign "lightweight,'' complaining that... Click to continue reading...

Episode 46: "No, We're Not Swordfighting"
Host: Scott
Panel: Zach, Brian, Erin Dutka
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This episode was supposed to be the first ever "All Lovely Lady" panel but like most of the best laid plans, they tend to come crashing down around you. Click to continue reading...

Today is your lucky day we've got two dirty tackles in one clip for you. That's right, go eat some expired cheese, because you can't lose!

Anyway, in the first clip young Mr. Joey Richmond gets thrown to the ground (0:30; keep your eyes on the background in front of the goal) while waiting for a free kick to be taken.

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In an emotional article written on his personal website Persija & Indonesia striker Bambang Pamungkas has given the background to all the rumours that surrounded him before he extended his contract with Persija.
He admits that at one stage he was 80% sure he would sign for Sriwijaya but asked for more time to consider. Click to continue reading...

Ryan Babel

Stupid Rafa. ... Promises he'll play me more and then benches me. ... That's it, I'm going to write a wicked rap about him. ... What rhymes with "Rafa"? ... Nafa? Hafa? Zafa? ... Damn! His name can't be rhymed. It's immune to my mad skillz! ... He had no right to bench me.

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... and world's biggest air quotes Mischievous Spanish journalists have uncovered this photograph of a young Cesc Fabregas in his Barcelona kit and are apparently reporting that the Arsenal man has "Barcelona DNA". We love the gigantic air quotes. Perhaps he is saying "cheese" or "queso" to have his photo taken but wants to signify that he [. Click to continue reading...

Episode 38: "The Government's Gonna Go Tienanmen Square on Them"
Host: Scott
Panel: Zach, Sandra and Richard Oram
Listen on the CSRN Media Player
DOWNLOAD Episode 38
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This week's show brings the debut of a new panelist and another round of our patented hard hitting questions that cut right to the collective bone of the football world. Click to continue reading...

Get on with it!

Everton have confirmed they are negotiating with Arsenal over the transfer of defender Philippe Senderos.
Toffees Chairman Bill Kenwright revealed that talks are taking place but as yet no deal has been finalised.
Earlier today the Swiss Football Federation claimed that Senderos had signed for Everton.

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1. Why the Hillsborough disaster still matters. [@ Dan Loney Says It All] 2. Carlo Ancelotti is inspired by cheese. [@ At the Far Post] 3. C-Ron ignores crazy stalker ex-WAG. [@ Kickette]...

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New Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti has revealed the unique philosophy that brought him the success he enjoyed as a manager at AC Milan, where he guided the Rosseneri to two Champions League titles, as well as a Serie A title.
Speaking to the Sunday Mirror, he explained the secrets of his success is borne out of his experience of making cheese with his father as a child. Click to continue reading...

Well hello there.

I see you've caught me making a funny face. It took hours to perfect, but I do believe it is exceptionally erotic and makes you want to experience a sexual encounter that involves my large nostrils. ... No, no don't speak. Just gaze into my nostril. Gaze...gaze..

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via GETTY

Uh-oh, looks like these two tios won't be having backyard barbecues anytime soon, judging from Ancelotti's curt words.

"Mourinho is a colleague, not a friend. I have friends outside of football he is just a colleague and as such I respect him," the Italian told The Sunday Times.

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The Minnesota Thunder have partnered with the Children's Hospitals and Clinics of Minnesota on Friday to present the "Snack Shack Thunder Game." The Snack Shack at Children's Hospital provides free healthful snacks and meals to families whose infants are in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

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The Minnesota Thunder have partnered with the Children's Hospitals and Clinics of Minnesota on Friday to present the "Snack Shack Thunder Game." The Snack Shack at Children's Hospital provides free healthful snacks and meals to families whose infants are in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

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What is it about Cruz Beckham? We love this kid more than Louboutins.

His little face looks like he's constantly scoping a trouble-making opportunity or a way to cause a ruckus. He probably gave himself that hair-do whilst his parents were sleeping.

Brooklyn may be the first of the Beckham brood, and Romeo may be the poster child for gorgessity, but Cruz is the shining star of this family.

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Fat Ronaldo was awarded a penalty kick in Corinthians' match against Cruzeiro today for Leonardo Silva's goal-saving handball on his first attempt at scoring. And as you can see in the video above, Ronaldo penalty kick strategy was to not run, but slowly waddle up to the ball, take a stutter step which barely slowed his already snail-like pace and kick the ball pretty much directly at the keeper, who (shockingly!

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DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!!!!!!!

Fuck off you horrible, horrible, money grabbing, arrogant, greedy, lazy, worthless, offside hunting, 5 yard tapping, cheese grinning, lanky streak of piss......

You bastard......Go fuck yourself and I hope you choke on the money.....

I hope you catch arse rabies.

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Fair enough the future is in our hands as they say, or perhaps it is in the Bosses – Wenger, or the board with the kitty of cash to spend?
The best and worst times all roll into one when you are so passionate about something you love so dearly – especially The Arsenal.

Some of the worst times are when your favourite player eventually retires (insert Bergkamp or your own favourite retiree here) or leaves the club, or the fans favourite leaves – Henry, Vieira, Pires, etc.

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Hello and welcome to another week of summer which means that the new season is slightly less far away than it was last week.

All the talk this morning is about Thomas Vermaelen. Again. Supposedly a fee has been agreed between the two clubs and now we wait all the other stuff that goes with it.

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It makes you wonder even more why Wenger did not start him against Chelsea in the FA semi-final. Arshavin roared back with four against Liverpool including what appeared to be the winning goal before Benayoun scored the equalizer moments before the match ended.

The Reds were left contemplating their precarious return to the top of the table with Man U having two games in hand.

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We'll Atlanta's Women's Professional Soccer team wants your help in deciding it's name.  And yes, the Beat is an option.  This round consist of 7 suggestions with the ability to write in your own name.  Well, not really your own name. A team name. You know what I mean. The names are: Attack, Beat, Blaze, Fury, Rush, [. Click to continue reading...

I don't stay in hotels very often but when I do I look forward to a decent cooked English breakfast. However, if you are planning on a stay at the Innkeepers Lodge Chester then don't expect a decent breakfast because the hotel is running an excellent scam.
They advertise a free breakfast but all they provide is a couple of cereals, white bread a few coissants (cold), fruit juice and coffeee. Click to continue reading...

I've been having some trouble sleeping the last few nights. I lie there almost wide awake then drift off into that sleep that doesn't seem like sleep at all.

I have these strange and weird dreams that make no kind of sense to me at all. Vivid motion picture dreams but at the same time I'm convinced that I'm not asleep.

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Eva Mendes admits she finds David Beckham hot

Eva Mendes admits she finds David Beckham hotThe actress and lingerie model, 34, says scent is important as well as good looks.‘Attractiveness is primal – it's something you can't put your finger on,' she tells Cosmopolitan.‘I've met guys who are great looking, but there was no spark.

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Andre Arshavin's dream is to play under Le Boss at Arsenal.
I'm sure it is pal! It's my fucking dream as well!
This bloke Arshavin dreams a huge amount doesn't he? Only a couple of weeks ago he dreamed of a move to Barcelona. He wants to cut down on the cheese before bedtime.
It seemed that the whole of Europe were chasing him, now it is revealed not one solid offer has been put forward for the Russian. Click to continue reading...

Good Saturday to you all.

A fair amount going on so we'll get right into it. New boy Samir Nasri says he's not the new Zidane. Well, here was us thinking we're getting the new Zidane and he spoils it straight away. He says:

I don't think it's fair to have that sort of pressure on a young player.

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Juande Ramos and La Liga-based transfer targets go together like cheese on toast and here is the latest slice! Tottenham are being linked with Real Mallorca star Juan Arango, who has admitted he wants to move to England this summer. Arango has been strongly linked with a move to the Premiership after . Click to continue reading...

Part Two of A More Splendid Life's Month-Long Public Service Announcement on the History of Soccer in Toronto. In light of the ongoing and perhaps never-ending trade saga between Gareth Barry, Martin O'Neill, Rafael Benitez, the English Press, Pickles the Wonder Dog, some bits of cheese at the bottom of my desk here, and pure energy beings that cannot be directly perceived but are here among us Click to continue reading...

Gigi blocks the penalty!
Originally uploaded by -=Cheese=- No crean que nos habíamos olvidado de este partido. Italia como siempre le da el toque de dramatismo a cualquier competición mundial, la Euro no puede quedar atrás.
Primero Rumanía se adelanta en el marcador , por un error defensivo italiano, por increíble que parezca, 60 segundos después Italia empata . Click to continue reading...

Bless me readers for I have sinned.

Not badly. But I must confess to not having got home in time yesterday to see the Spain/Russia match and only half paying attention to the Greece/Sweden encounter. I did have to work late but I must admit to finding it difficult to sustain watching so many matches in such a concentrated period. Click to continue reading...

Dear Leslie,

I see that you have a love for cheese. That isn't surprising considering that you're from Brookfield, Wisconsin. The problem is, and you may not be aware of it yet, you grew up 300 miles from from Ellsworth, Wisconsin. How is that a problem? Ellsworth is the cheese curd capital of Wisconsin.

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