Ever get a gnat flying around your face, and you keep swatting at the damn thing to kill it because it's annoying you, but it's too hard to see it because it's so tiny and insignificant? That's what the real life is to me: an annoying gnat that I need to swat and kill, so I can get back to fun things.

Photo:

It may not have been perfect, but Lionard Pajoy sure answered his critics.

Pajoy scored two goals Sunday against the New York Red Bulls, just days after netting in a friendly against Schalke 04. He ranked first in the league's MLS Castrol Index for the week. He put more shots on goal in one game Sunday (4) than he had in his first eight MLS matches combined (3).

I can't sing the praises of this team's Saturday night performance enough. I would never have expected the Revs to just shake off an early Vancouver goal like it was nothing, answer immediately, and then pile on 3 more for the win. If you had told me that last year, I would have laughed in your face.

photo by Daniel Gajdamowicz

All-time record: 2–2–0
At PPL Park: 2–0–0
At Red Bull Arena: 0–2–0
Goals for: 3
Goals against: 3

Did you know.

By Tony Edwards - San Jose, CA (May 3, 2012) US Soccer Players -- In Thursday's edition, Tony looks at playmakers in MLS, average annual pay per player across sports, and a measuring of success for forwards. Are fullbacks the new playmakers in MLS? Look at almost any chalkboard from MLSsoccer, and for the most part, fullbacks are getting the most touches in a game.

All-time record: 2–1–1
At PPL Park: 1–0–1
At Century Link Field: 1–1–0
Goals for: 6
Goals against: 4

Did you know?

The Union's first game ever was against Seattle on March 26, 2010.

Photo: Nicolae Stoian

It took Danny Mwanga eight minutes to do what Lionard Pajoy hasn't done in 367: Create a goal.

If that one play isn't a good enough reason of why Mwanga needs to replace Pajoy in Philadelphia Union's starting lineup, here are a few more.

• Only one team in Major League Soccer has a worse goals-per-game rate than the Union's 0.

Possession, then, might only be nine-tenths of the law after all. When push came to shove at the Camp Nou last night, the young tigers of Barcelona were cast aside by Chelsea's old dogs in a match of events so improbable that it at times stretch the credulity of the viewer. Such, though, has been the nature of Chelsea's season since the departure of Andre Villa-Boas two months ago.

The Portland Timbers take on the LA Galaxy this Saturday at the Home Depot Center, looking to stop their losing streak at three games. In order to do so they will need to improve their game in many areas over the previous weeks.

The Timbers will have the benefit of matching up against one of the worst defenses in MLS right now, a team that has given up more goals per match than any other US-based team.

By Tony Edwards - San Jose, CA (Apr 12, 2012) US Soccer Players -- In Thursday's edition, Tony doesn't question the value of Kyle Beckerman and Graham Zusi, asks about goals in this weekend's Houston-Chicago game, and wonders if 'soccer player' needs to be on an executive's resume. How good was Kyle Beckerman this past weekend?

Ha, sorry about posting this early, the full version is below. Thanks!

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If you have five central midfielders, and zero wide midfielders, do you have a central midfield?

The first loss of any season in any season sport hurts. It's that first loss that puts doubts in fan's minds and makes all of the hopes and dreams from the off-season fragile. I'm not sure how the rest of you are doing after this first loss of the season, but I'm still feeling pretty down. The reason I'm feeling down is because the Chicago Fire team we all witnessed on Sunday looked very much like last year's squad at mid season prior to the acquisition of Gargan, Pardo and Grazzini.

All time record: 1-1-0
At PPL Park: 1-0-0
At Empire Field: 0-1-0
Goals For: 1
Goals Against: 1

Did you know...

The Union's first home win of the 2011 season came against Vancouver.

June 18, 2011: Vancouver Whitecaps 1 0 Philadelphia Union

Click here to view the embedded video.

John Nyen skippers your MLS Week 3 Predictions. Um, put on that life vest if you would...thanks..

Allow myself to applaud myself...

Greetings kiddos and welcome to another vociferous MLS preview in which I hope to channel less Shecky Greene and more Lorne Greene.

All time record: 2-1-1
At PPL Park: 2-0-0
At Toyota Park: 0-1-1
Goals For: 5
Goals Against: 5

Did you know...

The Union (with Brad Knighton in goal) pitched their first ever clean sheet on Sept. 11, 2010 against Chicago. It was also Sheanon Williams first MLS game.

Photo: Paul Rudderow

All-time record: 0–2–2
At PPL Park: 0–1–1
At Dick's Sporting Goods Park: 0–1–1
Goals For: 4
Goals Against: 8

July 29, 2011: Philadelphia Union 1–2 Colorado Rapids

Click here to view the embedded video.

Well, that wasn't very pretty, was it?

What can we learn using the match stats from the Chalkboard at mlssoccer.com's Match Center about the Philadelphia Union's 3–1 loss to Portland Timbers in Monday night's season opener?

Passing and shooting

Portland had a greater number of passes and a better passing accuracy percentage with 482 passes with a passing accuracy of 72 percent.

Quotes and Videos:

From the Philadelphia Inquirer here are the Union's quotes for the night and here from MLS.

Tifo Display from Pressbox: Don Garber at Halftime: John Spencer: Eric Alexander: Kris Boyd: Links:

MLS Site: Don Garber calls today a "Warm and Sunny day in Portland"

Canzano: Someone call Hell!

International breaks, gotta love them. Unless you hate them. In which case, as somebody who is generally indifferent to international breaks, I can respect your position but do not agree with it. [INSERT PROFANITY LACED POST]

For folks as sick of the club/country debate as much as they are of friendlies, here's a handful of enjoyable soccer links.

There seems little point in doing a usual chalkboard review. I'd end up focusing on Lucas Leiva's marvelous performance, and you can just as easily head to the Guardian or Stats Zone app and see them for yourself. Each is a beautiful, unique snowflake worthy of admiration, and I recommend doing so.
I thought I'd display his statistics somewhat differently.

"Yeah we gotcha!" was what Benzema was probably singing to himself after he scored a peach of a goal from a cleverly-taken early free kick by Xabi Alonso AS's Alfredo Relano called last night's game vs. Valencia our worst game of the season and though it's easy to contest his statement with even worse Madrid performances so far this season (e.

Against Swansea, Liverpool started on top, couldn't take advantage of the early dominance, and finished with a draw. Against Norwich, Liverpool started on top, couldn't take advantage of the early dominance, and finished with a draw. Against Stoke, Liverpool started on top, couldn't take advantage of the early dominance, and lost.

I was in London on Saturday and I headed down to Chelsea for a tour of Stamford Bridge. To get to Stamford Bridge you take the Fulham Broadway exit on the underground and the stadium is maybe 100 yards down the street on the left.

On the walls surrounding the stadium, Chelsea have these big pictures of past and present Chelsea greats as well as a statue of Chelsea great Peter Osgood.

Photo: Nicolae Stoian

Philadelphia Union v Houston

All time record: 2–0–2

At PPL Park: (2 meetings): Union 0–0–2, 2 goals. Dynamo 0–0–2, 2 goals

At Robertson Stadium (2 meetings): Union 2–0–0, 4 goals. Dynamo 0–2–0, 2 goals

In 2010

On May 29, 2010, the Union earned their first-ever win on the road as an expansion team against Houston.

Grant Holt celebrates the Norwich equaliser...Similar to the Stoke game and the draw with Manchester United, it was yet again a story of missed chances for a frustrated Liverpool side. Norwich fought hard, particularly in the second half and were spurred on by their goal but despite over 20 attempts at goal and 11 shots from Suarez alone, Liverpool couldn't find a winner.

Photo: Earl Gardner

The Union midfield has been called one of the weaker parts of the team this season. What does the data suggest though? Specifically, I wanted to answer two questions about the midfield: How does the midfield fare in terms of passing percentages? And are better midfield passing percentages associated with Union wins?

Premier League chalkboard analysis

Manchester City are passing into new territory, Villas-Boas has helped revive Ramires and a crossing concern for Fulham City pass into new territory It is obvious that Manchester City's game has changed this season – in general terms, they're simply more attacking.

Premier League chalkboard analysis | Michael Cox

Manchester City allow Samir Nasri to roam, Mick McCarthy uses his bench to good effect and Charlie Adam keeps it simple City allow Nasri to roam Samir Nasri made a wonderful start to his Manchester City career with a great performance in the 5-1 win over Tottenham Hotspur .

When Mauro Rosales scored the goal that would be the winner against FC Dallas Saturday night, he was certainly to the right of Fredy Montero and the rest of the offense. But watch the highlight again, and you may notice that he's in a central space. But that wasn't his only time centrally. Yesterday saw a different Rosales.

Editor's Note: We continue a great new feature on the Free Beer Movement site. In collaboration with the quality soccer site, "The Other 87 Minutes" we present the "Tuesday XI" (and sometimes the "Tuesday Ten") a thoughtful list on a variety of topics in the world of soccer.
Make sure you head over to "The Other 87 Minutes" and check out all the.

I'm dubbing this one a classic "late-onset hangover". You think you made it through like a champ, unfazed by the events of the night before (yes, I know the game was 2 days ago... SORRY). You are feeling good, and then BAM--it's like 4pm and suddenly you can barely stand up and the trashcan is your new best friend.

Logo from optasports.com

I tend to consider tactics and Major League Soccer like an unabridged dictionary in a fourth grade classroom. While the study and employment of tactics within MLS happens, there is less tactical sophistication in MLS than in the more established leagues of the world.

When Alvaro Fernandez scored the game winning goal in the 40th minute it wasn't just a display of solid passing and movement by Mauro Rosales, Roger Levesque and El Flaco. The build-up started well before Rosales got the ball, and was a prime example of the reset versus the retreat. When Patrick Ianni won the ball and Hurtado recovered it, Arlo indicated that the Sounders should look up the field quickly to take advantage of the down Kevin Alston.

As actual news is sparse with the silly season in full flow (yes, I know it's barely mid-June), I thought I'd bring back the quasi-informative passing wheel (previously highlighted: Lucas and Gerrard) to take a look at three of Jordan Henderson's best games from the previous season.
The links will take you to the actual Guardian chalkboard for each game.

Everyone 'knows' that Franz Beckenbauer was brilliant. In a recent Guardian poll he was the first defender selected in their greatest team of all time.

I think everyone is right Beckenbauer really was an astonishing player but I wonder how many of the voters had actually seen him play before making their choice?

Let's start with some statistics. Last month's 3-0 win over Manchester City seems a good comparison: both matches were at Anfield, against top-six opposition, and had Carroll in the starting line-up.
Time of Possession
v Tottenham: 54-46%
v City: 53-47%
Good start.

Kenny Dalglish's appointment as permanent manager was a mere formality.

Taking a club from mid table to a Europa Cup spot in three months is not just mere accomplishment in itself but the way they've done it has the pundits talking. For the first time in a long time there is fear and loathing in playing Merseyside.

Simon Davies was awesome against Bolton. The chalkboard shows just how much work he did in that critical final third. Bolton's defence must have been begging him to leave them alone by the time 90 minutes was up.

Eidur Gudjohnson reminds me of a fairly mobile basketball centre.

Shirt adult cinema.

[Football Fashion]

• Five years gone. (IBWM)
• The French future. (The French Connection)
• Arsene's calling the kettle... (The Spoiler)
• Gareth Bale, animated. (Dirty Tackle)
• Spurs throwing an appropriate celebration. (The DA)
• Barca on the chalkboard.

There has been a cavalcade of praise for Luis Suarez following yesterday's match. A deservedly massive sack of love letters and valentines for the player.
He had his tantalizing moments against Stoke, Wigan, and West Ham, but we saw the total package yesterday, a comprehensive beatdown jam-packed with all-around brilliance.