Image via twitter.

Today's week in review begins with a pop quiz. Whose abs are these?

And more importantly, why aren't they hanging up in the Kickette office?

GOOD WEEK

Ab Alert!: Full stalking points to you if you identified our protagonist as Jamie O'Hara.

The 40th International Exhibition of Inventions is underway in Geneva and Venezuelan Jose Pires Tavares has already won it on the very first day. Now, I don't know if an international exhibition of inventions is something that can be won, but that doesn't matter.

Tavares' invention is the Football Box, which according to Getty is "an invention for children which allows them to play in a miniature-sized football arena.

Ep.32 Fight! Fight! Fight! by Off The Post on Mixcloud The Premier League offered up its very own Wrestlemania at the weekend with three delightfully theatrical bouts. The Pod review and commend the undercard (Odemwingie v Foster, Balotelli vs sanity) and the big bucks main event, Roger ‘Beer Breath' Johnson v Wayne ‘Blonde Bombshell' Hennessey.

Ep.30 Fernando Scorres by Off The Post on Mixcloud Not for the first time this season, events in the world of football have transcended the sport for the worst possible reasons. Here at the OTP Podcast we are the first to admit our irreverant tone is not best suited to discussing such heartbreaking occurrences, however [.

Venue-Stadium of light

Kick Off- March 10, 2012; 15:00 BST

Head to Head -

Premier League ‎(EPL)‎ 13 Aug 2011 Liverpool 1 Sunderland 1

Premier League ‎(EPL)‎ 20 Mar 2011 Sunderland 0 Liverpool 2

Premier League ‎(EPL)‎ 25 Sep 2010 Liverpool 2 Sunderland 2

Premier League ‎(EPL)‎ 28 Mar 2010 Liverpool 3 Sunderland 0

Premier League ‎(EPL)‎ 17 Oct 2009 Sunderland 1 Liverpool 0

Sunderland

Sunderland are currently 12-th in the Premier League and are the only team in the bottom half to have a positive goal difference.

Its very hard to predict a Liverpool team these days under Kenny Dalglish as he does have a number of options open to him from the squad (apart from a quality Striker).
But thats my stab at it, I chose Spearing instead of Henderson as Sunderland have become a very dogged team under Martin O'Neill.

Click Here for a Free £50 Bet for All New Paddy Power Customers Chelsea v Stoke Well, at least Andre Villas-Boas can watch a Chelsea game without the fear of being sacked this weekend. He probably won't though. The question will then be whether the Chelsea players can rally around Roberto Di Matteo to get [.

Let's hope we don't have to rely on a penalty again haha...Liverpool travel to the Stadium Of Light on Saturday to face a renewed Sunderland side. Martin O'Neill's side are almost unrecognisable compared to the side Steve Bruce was managing earlier in the season and Liverpool will surely be looking for a victory in a game which they drew at the start of the season.

Liverpool visit the Northeast in hopes of getting their Premier League campaign back on track after the loss to Arsenal last weekend, and while there's little hope of Champions League qualification left, a final push could see Kenny Dalglish's squad finish with silverware in more than one competition and, at minimum, more consistency.

Jamie Carragher getting found out

Liverpool have not been great in their last two matches. They were poor in spite of victory against Cardiff and they couldn't put their chances away (again) against Arsenal. This time Robin Van Persie made sure they paid and now the Reds are a full ten points off fourth place.

Ep.28 Andre's Very Brief by Off The Post on Mixcloud It was all business as usual in the Premier League this week – Chelsea sacked a manager, Robin van Persie notched up a couple more goals, and Lee Cattermole somehow managed to pick up a booking and also a straight red in the same game. [...]

szólj hozzá: Ba misses penalty v Sunderland

Alan Pardew's celebration which included going after Martin O'Neill ended up being premature as Demba Ba pushes his PK tamely to Mignolet. Referee Mike Dean pointed to the spot after Campbell brought down Shola Ameobi.

As it were Newcastle did pull off an added time equalizer through Ameobi, something of a Sunderland giantkiller.

By Chris Wright

Sunderland pair Stephane Sessegnon and Lee Cattermole have been issued a cumulative total of seven game's worth of suspensions following their red cards in (and after) yesterday's ugly Tyne-Wear derby at the Sports Direct Northeast Regional HQ Stadium a match, we'd just like to mention, that was refereed nigh-on impeccably by Mike Dean.

Lee Cattermole was up to his old tricks yesterday after the final whistle, as he went over the referee and his assistants and ranted at them with foul language. Shola Ameobi scores in the 91st minute Has anybody ever told this lad he just cannot do that? So he got a straight red card and will now miss the quarter [.

It was a rip roaring derby game yesterday between Newcastle and Sunderland, and everybody got tied up in the tension and excitement of the event, including the players, the managers and the coaching staffs. Pardew and O'Neill on the line yesterday Lee Cattermole was again the villain when he received a yellow card for his very first tackle in the first minute on Cheick [.

Speaking in a post match interview, Mackems manager, Martin O'Verrated O'Neill, cast light on the unusual sending off of Sunderland's bad boy hatchet man, Lee Cattermole, who was given a straight red card by Wirral whistler, Mike Dean, a full two minutes after the final whistle had sounded. It brought his total number of bookings [.

How do you know a team has a bad game? You're playing Sunderland and you only score one goal. That said, Sunderland managed to do something not often seen. Not only did they get a red card during the match (Sessgnon), but the idiot Cattermole got one after the final whistle... To quote a favorite Guinness commercial, "Brilliant!

The tone of the game was set in the first minute at St. James' Park today as madman Lee Cattermole, who is one one of the most dangerous players playing the game, lunged in with a ridiculous tackle on Cheick Tiote. Shola Ameobi - after scoring equalizer in stoppage time Lee got a yellow card for that and behaved himself after [.

Aww, look at him in his little hat! And Archie too! Image via Jack's Twitter.

Some serious football fixtures demand our attention this weekend, Kickettes. Before settling down at the foot of our nacho mountain to watch the manhose unfold, we prepared this little round-up of the stuff that occurred in between our unscheduled naps.

Laurent Koscielny is old enough to be married. This is his wife, Claire. Image: Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images.

The Laureaus World Sport Awards took place at the Central Hall in Westminster last night. As is usual with these events, a smattering of footballers turned up to watch Bobby Charlton pick up a Lifetime Achievement Award and surely what must be the most shocking event of the year so far; Leo Messi not winning an award he has been nominated for.

A cat-themed team to celebrate last night's pitch invader at Anfield 1. Pussy Whiskerlainen 2. Kevin Muscat 3. Anton Furdinand 4. Claws Lundekvam 5. Darren Purrse 6. Lee Cattermole 7. Dirk Cat 8. Marouane Felinei 9. Dave Kitten 10. Tabby Agbonlahor 11. Ryo Miaowchi Manager: Kenny Dogleash (a cat's best friend)

In appreciation of the cat who made it onto the pitch at Anfield this evening I felt that it was about time I drew up another "Best XI". This time it's for players with "cat" in their name.

Cat XI

Between the sticks is Antalyaspor's 35 year old custodian Omer Catkic.

Although we realise this 'look' probably wasn't by her choice, Sami Khedira's model/WAG, Lena Gercke, walked the runway at Rebekka Ruetz's Autumn/Winter 2012 fashion show with two of the most terrifying Scouse Brows we've ever seen. Make them stop, Kickettes. We're begging you. Image: Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images Europe.

By Alan Duffy

Another day, another police identity parade

On loan from Arsenal, where he struggled to live up to the (self-inflated) hype surrounding his ability, Nicklas Bendtner has been nothing more than average for Sunderland so far this season.

By Oli Baker

At the time of writing, no side in Europe's top five leagues has made as few tackles per game as Wolves (15.4) or as few interceptions (11.9).

For a team that gained a reputation as being tough and uncompromising last season, these are startling statistics.

Although Wolves do fare quite well in the possession stakes, averaging 50.

By Oli Baker

At the time of writing, no side in Europe's top five leagues has made as few tackles per game as Wolves (15.4) or as few interceptions (11.9).

For a team that gained a reputation as being tough and uncompromising last season, these are startling statistics.

Although Wolves do fare quite well in the possession stakes, averaging 50.

By Alan Duffy

For the majority of us mere mortals, it's the season to be jolly and maybe a bit drunk, but for footballers, Christmas is often the season to go off the rails completely.

The Sunderland duo of Nicklas Bendtner and Lee Cattermole are the latest stars to get up to no good in the festive period.

Tottenham Hotspur v Sunderland, White Hart Lane, Sunday 18th December, 3pm Kick off

So on Thursday night Spurs European adventure for this season came to an end, despite a 4-0 win at Shamrock. The perceived wisdom is that this is a blessing in disguise and can leave Harry Redknapp and his team to concentrate on getting Spurs back into the Champions League.

Sunderland duo Nicklas Bendtner and Lee Cattermole have been arrested on suspicion of criminal damage. The incident relates to damaged caused to cars Stowell Street, in Newcastle city centre, on 6 December. The pair, both aged 23, were arrested yesterday before later being bailed. A Northumbria police spokesman said: "Police can confirm that on 15 [.

Featured player Nicklas Bendtner played the 90 minutes as Sunderland put on a brave performance at Old Trafford this afternoon against Manchester United. Sunderland set out in a 4-4-2 counter-attacking system against Man-U with N.B-52 and Connor Wickham upfront but the later was stretchered off early on due to a injury replaced by Ji Dong Won.

Darren Bent's first return to Wearside since his switch to Aston Villa has dominated the headlines, but Steve Bruce will more concerned with trying to find what would only be his third home win of 2011.

Alex McLeish is coming off the back of two losses; one far from unexpected, the other extremely disappointing.

What we learned this week... Wayne Rooney must be rubbish at writing letters

The England striker wrote to Uefa to avoid a ban but failed spectacularly, while Liverpool MD Ian Ayre made an idiot of himself and Lee Cattermole claimed he's not a dirty player

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-10-14 07:52:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

By Alan Duffy

Sunderland's combative midfielder Lee Cattermole has apparently cultivated something of a persecution complex judging by his latest comments.

The 23-year-old hardman, who has picked up only 47 bookings and five red cards since 2005/06 in domestic football said: "I feel like they (referees) are out there for me at the minute.

Liverpool's Strikeforce: Luis Suarez & Andy Carroll

I should have spent more time on Sunderland in my preview of their match versus Liverpool, but I didn't want to make it a season preview. They definitely need to add attacking options and put a leash on Lee Cattermole. But Stéphane Sessègnon is impressive; Ahmed Elmohamady, Kieran Richardson & Gyan are all big factors, and their back line was well organized, essentially making Andy Carroll irrelevant.

Liverpool endured a frustrating opening day setback as Sunderland show resilience and courage with a touch of class from their new signing.
Liverpool showed off all their new major signings in front of their home crowd. For the first half Liverpool looked dangerous and inventive with Suarez forcing Richardson into a bad back pass which the striker pounced on and rounded the keeper; only to be brought down by Richardson.

Shay Given has ended his Manchester City nightmare with a £3 million move to Premier League rivals Aston Villa.

The Ireland goalkeeper, who signed for City from Newcastle in an attempt to win trophies, has been a frustrated figure this season after losing the number one jersey to England goalkeeper Joe Hart.

Gossip Gordon has come out of retirement to address the pressing matters of the transfer market. Gordon knows that half of these rumours are probably made-up by the cleaner at The Sun or, in a bygone era, were probably found out by certain chaps listening in on intimidate phone calls between Kevin Keegan and Alan Shearer.

Steve Bruce insists Liverpool have made no indication that they want Lee Cattermole, despite ongoing speculation over the midfielder's future.
Cattermole was linked to the Black Cats at the start of the summer, but Liverpool then negotiated a big-money deal for Jordan Henderson. However, speculation surrounding Cattermole refuses to go away.

Bruce in dark over Catt talk

Sunderland boss Steve Bruce admits he is in the dark about by reports linking midfielder Lee Cattermole with Liverpool.

View the full story here: Sky Sports

A news article on 2011-07-18 10:47:29 from: Sky Sports

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Bruce baffled by Cattermole to Liverpool rumours

"We have been dealing with Liverpool for the past five weeks over the Jordan Henderson deal and there was never a mention that they wanted Lee," says Sunderland boss

View the full story here: The Mirror

A news article on 2011-07-18 09:30:58 from: The Mirror

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.