The chain of events in full:

1. Gary Neville is born, to Neville Neville

2. Gary Neville grows up to be a total dickface

3. Carlos Tevez leaves Man Utd, feeling unwanted, signing for local rivals Man City

4.

Before the Manchester derby there was an interview with Gary Neville published in one of the UK's biggest tabloids. In that interview Neville said that he didn't believe that Carlos Tevez was worth...
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Manchester City's Carlos Tevez has branded Manchester United's Gary Neville a "boot-licker" and a "moron" in explaining his goal celebration in Tuesday's Carling Cup semi-final Former Manchester United striker Tevez gestured and cupped his ears towards the United bench after scoring twice in Manchester City's 2-1 derby win.

The Guardian posted a poll asking its readers whether Manchester United should have kept Carlos Tevez. A surprising majority said 'yes.' Can this be chalked up to the fickle feelings of fandom? Or is it sincere affection for the man who scored 37 goals in all competitions while wearing red?

Manchester City striker Carlos Tevez has said that Man United manager Sir Alex Ferguson and defender Gary Neville disrespected him. After scoring against Man United, Tevez provoked Neville, Sir Alex...
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Manchester City beat United 2-1 in the first-leg of a Carling Cup semifinal.
Carlos Tevez provided both goals for the boys in baby blue against his former team, which provided some nice drama, especially with ex-mate Gary Neville.
Pictures of which, captured here.

The art of translation is a wondrous thing. What's complimentary in one language is a vicious insult to someone's dead relatives in another. And "getting the point across" with a similar, but not quite exact, translation doesn't always "get the point across". Gary Neville got the point across with his little gesture aimed at Carlos Tevez [.

By Ollie Irish

At last, a player comes out and says what so many fans have been thinking for almost 20 years.

Carlos Tevez called Gary Neville a "boot-licker" and a "moron" in a radio interview with ESPN Argentina:

"My celebration was directed at Gary Neville.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T - find out what it mean to Tev Carlos Tevez returned to haunt Manchester United with two goals for Manchester City in the big Carling Cup semi-final derby. No over to Carlos to talk you through this video: "It's normal for me to celebrate a goal, but if I score I will do so with respect [.

Manchester City fought back from a goal down to come away with an impressive win in this Carling Cup Semi Final 1st Leg thanks to a brace from former Manchester United striker Carlos Tevez. Roberto Mancini's side were fortunate to win a debatable penalty that Carlos Tevez smashed in to equalize for the Eastlands outfit against his former side after Ryan Giggs had given Sir Alex a perfect start after some good work on the right from Luis Antonio Valencia.

Leg one of the Manchester Derby Carling Cup semifinal truly lived up to the hype, with Carlos Tevez getting his revenge, Gary Neville getting fingery, and Mancini getting the best of Sir Alex. But as great as it was, we really can't help but ask...what if it continued?

97′ Sir Alex Ferguson chews his gum so hard that it actually starts to bleed.

[vid via TVGolo] We used to think the Carling Cup needed some serious tinkering to make it interesting again. Turns out we were wrong. All the cup needed was: 1. A Manchester derby in the semi-final, 2. An in-form Carlos Tevez with a point to prove, and 3. Gary Neville being very unhappy that an in-form Carlos Tevez had [.

There were 22 men on the pitch at Eastlands last night, but only one mattered: Carlos Tevez, whose two goals capped a man-of-the-match performance that was the perfect riposte to the club that discarded him. United's loss is City's obvious gain. At least the Prem champions still have the magnificent Wayne Rooney, who very nearly scored an equaliser in the final minutes, and was a cut above his team-mates throughout.

I'm sure GMP will be thankful of these comments:

"Neville is an idiot and a boot-licker," said the Argentine international. "He said I was not worth £25 million just to stay in the manager's good books.

"I do not know why he is saying bad things about me. I have never had a problem with him.

Good to see Carlos Tevez and Gary Neville doing their bit to improve Argentina - England relations. No love lost between the two countries, either in the football sense or politically, but I have to say that Carlos Tevez certainly came out best in that little contretemps.Speaking to ESPN Argentina, Tevez is quoted as saying:"He [Gary Neville] acted like a complete boot-licker when he said I

The question of whether a one goal lead from the first leg was enough was one talked about in the lead up to the return leg at Old Trafford. Whilst many thought it would be, in the end - like our performance this evening - it proved not to be as we ultimately fell short.
Inevitably, if we were going to exit the competition tonight it would be in heartbreaking fashion, and with time ticking down towards an added thirty minutes we conceded a soft goal that sent us crashing out.

Manchester City reported that they lost £92.6m last season.

The figures are through May 2009 so they include the £32.5m signing of Brazilian star Robinho in the January transfer window, but not the summer purchases of players like Carlos Tevez, Kolo Toure and Emmanuel Adebayor.

City was bought in September 2008 by Sheikh Mansour and since his arrival City have spent over £200m signing new players.

Our Senegalese striker, Mame Biram Diouf, was granted a work permit in December and is now awaiting his debut after settling well at the club.

He will wear our number "32″ shirt, formerly worn by Carlos Tevez.

"He has adapted very well to our training regime and has looked very impressive," said Ferguson.

Tevez is a stud, not a dud
That break seemed like it lasted forever. Boxing Day fixtures, the New Year, then a bit of FA Cup action, some snow mixed in between, and now we're back to the Premier League this weekend...
I. Tottenham @ Liverpool: One of these two teams most certainly will not make the Top 4.

Roberto Mancini's appointment has had the desired effect on the stuttering Manchester City team. In the two matches that the Italian has been in charge, the team has tightened up with two clean sheets and Carlos Tevez looks to be in the form of his life. City's performance has been so encouraging that Mancini has been bold enough to change his cautious top four statement to legitimate Premier

A Carlos Tevez hat-trick led Man City to an easy win over local rivals Blackburn Rovers.

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Manchester City 1-0 Blackburn Rovers (Tevez)

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Manchester City 3-0 Blackburn Rovers (Tevez)

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Manchester City 4-1 Blackburn Rovers (Tevez)

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Roberto Mancini's dream run with Manchester City continued as Carlos Tevez helped his side to win their Premier League encounter against Blackburn Rovers. It took a superb hatrick by the former United star to give City an emphatic victory over the Rovers. A close range goal in the seventh minute by Carlos set the platform for [.

It wasn't all that long ago when the Internets were a simpler, kinder place. A place that was roughly 98 percent low-grade Czechslovakian porn with the remaining two percent left for usenet.alt.newsgroups of people worldwide bitching about the quality of the 'The Simpsons' on their 28.8 kbps modems. (Mo-dem?

Liverpool striker Fernando Torres believes the Reds must win the Europa League and secure a top four finish if they are to salvage their season – and has challenged the club's owners to splash the cash or get left behind.
A shock defeat to Championship strugglers Reading in the FA Cup on Wednesday added to a succession of disappointments this term for the Anfield outfit, who have already been eliminated from both the League Cup and Champions League and lie 12 points adrift of Premier League leaders Chelsea.

By Ollie Irish

Some links to brighten up your Friday:

Carlos Tevez explains the origin of his new 'Tevez' dance [MCFC]

Maxi Rodriguez in Liverpool's squad to face Stoke this weekend no doubt he'll start on the bench though [This Is Anfield]

Bayern Munich and others join the race to sign Arsenal's unwanted defender Philippe Senderos [Mirror]

Rafa Benitez says sorry for Liverpool's recent form [BBC]

Six memorable League Cup semi-finals [Guardian]

Guus Hiddink wants to dance on Rafa's grave [Mail]

Historial WAG Moment: Victoria Beckham Hides From Paparazzi [Kickette]

More Benitez, with added satire: Rafa admits 'Premier League, Champions League and FA Cup were not the priority this season' [Back of the Net]

Two more players added to the US Soccer Hall of Fame.

Manchester City fought back from a goal down to come away with an impressive win in this Carling Cup Semi Final 1st Leg thanks to a brace from former Manchester United striker Carlos Tevez. Roberto Mancini's side were fortunate to win a debatable penalty that Carlos Tevez smashed in to equalize for the Eastlands outfit against his former side after Ryan Giggs had given Sir Alex a perfect start after some good work on the right from Luis Antonio Valencia.

In spite of Manchester City still being behind Manchester United in the Premier League (and in my view, Alex Ferguson's United is still far better, although the Glazers might soon ruin that as well...), today City defeated United 2-1 in the semifinal of the Carling Cup, and both City goals were scored by none other than Carlos Tevez.

Manchester City fought back from a goal down to come away with an impressive win in this Carling Cup Semi Final 1st Leg thanks to a brace from former Manchester United striker Carlos Tevez. Roberto Mancini's side were fortunate to win a debatable penalty that Carlos Tevez smashed in to equalize for the Eastlands outfit against his former side after Ryan Giggs had given Sir Alex a perfect start after some good work on the right from Luis Antonio Valencia.

Carlos Tevez is on a hot goal scoring streak since his club changed managers. Today he scored both goals of the game in Manchester City's 2-0 win over Manchester United.

Tevez made a gesture after each goal clearly aimed at his former Manchester United manager.

After the first goal he flashed Juan Roman Riquelme's famous Topo Gigio sign and after the second goal, a self-explanatory sign.

Tuesday's Manchester Derby, doubling as the first leg of the League Cup Semi-Final, was sleepy for certain stretches but produced plenty of encouraging highlights for supporters of both sides, including:

1. Antonio Valencia. After receiving a gorgeous pass from Patrice Evra, thoroughly embarrassed Craig Bellamy, first with a neat nutmeg, then with a sensational step-around to set up Man United's first goal.

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Plenty of positive vibes in the aftermath of yesterday's victory:
Firstly Shaun Wright-Phillips:

"Carlos Tevez was fantastic again for us, he has been unbelieveable all season. His energy is superb but everyone played their part in what was a memorable win and that's a few we have had over United in recent seasons.

By Ollie Irish

Today's links:

Man Utd are very interested in no-nonsense Juventus defender Giorgio Chiellini. He's rated at £25m, which is ridiculously high, but he's just the sort of uncompromising centre-back United could use, especially if Nemanja Vidic's wife finally convinces her bloke to move to Barcelona.

If you're looking for a list of Premier League footballers who have Twitter and/or Facebook accounts, you've come to the right place. After hours of research, EPL Talk has amassed a comprehensive list of Twitter and Facebook accounts for footballers of most Premier League clubs.

Last week, Manchester United caused quite a stir when the club announced that its players had been told not to use social networking sites.

Ever since Gold and Sullivan took over the club with 50% ownership, they have been very active. Active in gaining fan support and eagerly showing each other off as lifelong Hammer fan. Truth be told, G&S are possibly the best recipient of a club in "haemorrage" (as they have put it). The spin that they have been putting on in the hunt for that prolific striker have been feverish and the media

By AVI CREDITOR

Wednesday night's Carling Cup Manchester derby of a semifinal was supposed to be focused on Carlos Tevez and the ongoing feud with his former team.

It appears that Tevez will be sharing the spotlight with Robinho.

According to an ESPN Soccernet report, Wednesday's second leg may be Robinho's final game with Manchester City before he returns on loan to his former club in Brazil, Santos FC.

Paul Scholes strike leveled this pulsating Carling Cup tie and gave the Old Trafford side the advantage on away goals. Manchester United were good value for their lead and they had Shay Given at full stretch on a number of occasions.

A Michael Carrick shot from six yards appeared to seal the victory with a quarter of an hour remaining but a Carlos Tevez strike appeared to taking the tie to extra time but a goal from Wayne Rooney in injury time gave United the win.

By Ollie Irish

Links!

Rio Ferdinand mocks Carlos Tevez's goal celebration after Man Utd's League Cup win. Braaaap! [Republik Of Mancunia]

Still on Rio he's set to appeal against his four-match ban [BBC]

Ashley Cole banned from driving for four months, after driving very fast to get away from paparazzi.

The English Football Association (FA) Cup 3rd Round began on Saturday, January 2, 2010 with several matches including Middlesbrough v Manchester City. Boro were relegated last season and were the underdogs facing a Manchester City side that is chasing for a top four finish. City have won their first two matches under new manager Roberto Mancini and were looking to continue their unbeaten streak.

Solid and unspectacular it may have been, but given some of the shambolic cup exits witnessed in recent years a routine FA Cup 3rd round win (against a bogey side) was very welcome.
It wasn't a performance that will live long in the memory, but it was a game that we controlled with the instruction to retain possession again very evident.