In the light of all the positivity following two excellent performances, 7 goals scored and none conceded, it would seem odd to publish this article submitted by Carlito 11, but I think it serves to show how quickly things can change in football. The piece was written after two pretty poor performances and our customary loss to chelski.

Don't look now Fergie, Carlito is quickly climbing the top goal scorers list and better yet, with 10 goals in 8 games, he's single-handedly helping Mancini's City jump into fourth place! The only way this would be cooler is if there were some sort of 80's style montage stitching together this feat and their inevitable [.

Arsenal may have lost to Porto last night but Senor GuapoVela here needs to work harder if he wants to intimidate the linesman. Pippo Inzaghi gives part-time classes on that when no one is looking, so tipo Carlos better sign up pronto before all the slots get filled up!

A few years back there was a real craze for Prostars AKA those little football figures with massive heads.

To cheer us all up after Sunday, I've rounded up ten figures of former Spurs players. Your task is to let us know who's who.

10. An Easy One To Start You Off

9.

Yes amicis, here is Signore Amauri with his wife as they march on with pride to officially sign and receive his Italian citizenship! It's supposed to be a dark day for Brazilian futebol, but unfortunately, Fabulouso and Nilmar are still going about their daily routine and eating black peas.

Carlos Tevez and Rio Ferdinand got into a tussle in the Manchester derby last week, and now one witty bloke has put together a spoof video which shows a typical hyped Sky TV commercial featuring Carlito Tevez putting his fist into a place where the sun doesn't shine of one Rio Ferdinand.

Kia Joorabchian: Carlito is his cash cow

Surprise. Surprise. It is Carlos Tevez, threatening to leave Man City after submitting a transfer request. The ostensible reason is he is homesick and separated from his children who live in Argentina. Which means that he is leaving to play for Boca or Huracan.

Noel Gallagher, who has come out with gems like: "I'm just gonna take me voting card and I'm gonna put in massive letters, 'Tevez is God.'" and "The new baby, if it's a boy, it's definitely going to be called Carlos. Or just Tevez. Tevez Gallagher. Carlito Gallagher." has come crashing back down to earth after learning that Carlos Tevez wanted to leave Manchester City just 12 months after signing for them.