Upon hearing the news that a gaggle of French females from the Les Bleus Women's World Cup team posed in the buff for a magazine spread, one word should come to mind:

Bild.

And you would, of course, be correct. Three of the French ladies posed nude for the German beacon of couth though without anything really showing in order to "bring awareness to their sport".

Russian model, Irina Shayk "comically pouts" at her namorado, Cristiano Ronaldo. That's the official caption! / via Landmark Media

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We're turning up the knob on MLS coverage as well as transfer talk after the USWNT tiptoes ripping our/your heart out for the last time this summer.

Hansel Adams? That be TSG photog Matt Mathai who always captures the winners.

You write the caption below from the DeRosario Cup.

Hey there

Devin is busy working on a piece centered upon these two super secret signings we are apparently going to make this week. Meanwhile, I'm pulling out more cutting edge, thought-provoking stuff like captioning the absurdly good image above. This is what I do, people.

When the New York Red Bulls sent striker Dwayne De Rosario packing to Eastern Conference rivals D.C. United the early season United caption, Dax McCarty, had this to say: "They made the move; they...
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MANCHESTER Dimitar Berbatov scored a hat trick as Manchester United dominated Birmingham, 5-0, in English Premier League action on Saturday. With the win, United stays at the top of the table, all alone after Manchester City's loss later in the day. Arsenal actually jumped into second, two points back of the leaders.

MELBOURNE, Australia — Melbourne Victory captain Manny Muscat will likely end his career in Australian football's A-League under suspension after being banned for eight weeks for a dangerous tackle. Muscat, a Malta international, was handed the ban for a tackle on the Melbourne Heart's Adrian Zahra during a heated derby last weekend.

BERNE, Switzerland Japan moved into the top 20 of the FIFA world rankings on Wednesday after winning the Asian Cup last month while world champions Spain stayed in first place. Japan's record fourth Asian title which they won in Qatar lifted them 12 places to 17th, making them the Asian confederation's highest-ranked side.

NEW YORK, NY The New York Red Bulls are trying to sign Chelsea striker Nicolas Anelka, according to L'Equipe newspaper on Thursday. L'Equipe said the Major League Soccer club wants Anelka to reunite with fellow Frenchman Thierry Henry, who will begin his second season with the Red Bulls in March. "We will not comment [.

AMSTERDAM, The Netherlands Ajax Amsterdam extended the contracts of Roly Bonevacia (19) and Rodney Sneijder (19). Both midfield players renewed their contracts with the multi Dutch champions until the summer of 2013. Bonevacia has been with Ajax since 2001 and made his debut in the top squad on August 14, 2010 against Vitesse Arnhem.

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina The president of the Argentina Football Association says Carlos Tevez has been dropped from the national team as a punishment for missing the previous friendly match. Tevez was not in the team to face Portugal in Switzerland on Wednesday. Argentina FA president Julio Grondona said in a radio interview in Buenos [.

BERLIN, Germany — Bundesliga bottom side Borussia Moenchengladbach sacked their coach Michael Frontzeck on Sunday, 24 hours after their 3-1 German league defeat at St Pauli. 'Gladbach are seven points from safety at the foot of the table and 46-year-old Frontzeck, who has been in charge for 18 months, was shown the door after his [.

ROME — Brazil forward Alexandre Pato will miss the Copa America after injuring his right shoulder in AC Milan's final match of the Serie A season. Pato was carried off on a stretcher in the 71st minute of Sunday's 0-0 draw with Udinese. Milan physician Maurizio Gevi told Italy's Sky TV that Pato will be [.

Somebody on the Czech physio team is a just little too enamored with Christopher Nolan. Or maybe he loves Tim Burton. I vote for Tim Burton.

Where does he get those wonderful toys?

For those too young to remember, my caption is an homage to the original Batman film, directed by Burton and starring the greatest Dark Knight, Michael Keaton.

Justin Bieber is in Britain for something or other. Girls everywhere are crying. Meanwhile, the singer turned rapper took some time out from making said girls sob incessantly by hauling his 4-year-old girlfriend, Selena Gomez, to Stamford Bridge for a private tour.

And the world wept.

Ashley & Cheryl?

By Chris Wright

Arsenal 'keeper Wojciech Szczesny tried to pick up a girl on Twitter recently a girl by the name of Letesha Collins, an 'aspiring glamour model' who currently makes her living as a presenter for adult nudey rudey channel Elite TV and whose work clothes consist of little more than a smile on occasion.

WEST BROMWICH, England — Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney could be out of action for two weeks after injuring his left ankle in Saturday's 2-1 Premier League win at West Bromwich Albion. Rooney scored in the third minute for his first goal from open play since March but hobbled off late in the match after [.

MANCHESTER, England Sampdoria have confirmed that Manchester United star Federico Macheda has joined them on loan for the rest of the season. The 19-year-old striker was made available by Sir Alex Ferguson after he found his route to a first-team place blocked by the emergence of Javier Hernandez. Although Ferguson's preference was for Macheda [.

ROTTERDAM - Dutch football legend Coen Moulijn has passed away. The former player of Feyenoord and the Dutch national team was 73. Considered one of the best ever Dutch players, Moulijn played in the fifties, sixties and seventies as a left winger for Feyenoord. With the club from Rotterdam in 1970 he won as first [.

LONDON, England — Fulham has signed Steve Sidwell from Premier League rival Aston Villa on a six-month contract as it tries to shore up its midfield in the January transfer window. Fulham announced the deal on its website Friday but did not disclose financial details. The club said the initial deal expires at the end [.

COLUMBUS, Ohio Columbus Crew signed forward Tom Heinemann to a multi-year contract Friday. Heinemann joins the Crew after spending the last two years with the Charleston Battery of the United Soccer Leagues and Carolina RailHawks of the NASL. He trained with the Crew briefly early in the 2009 preseason.

DOHA, Qatar — Three-time Asian Cup winners Saudi Arabia desperately need a winning start in Group B on Sunday against Syria to convince the doubters they have what it takes to banish the pain of four years ago. Portuguese coach Jose Peseiro is under huge pressure back home to deliver after he clung on to [.

CARDIFF, Wales Police say Wales striker Craig Bellamy has been arrested on suspicion of assaulting two men in a late-night incident last week. South Wales Police say the 31-year-old Bellamy, who is currently on loan at Cardiff from Manchester City, was released on bail on Wednesday after speaking with officers.

PORTLAND, Ore. — Forward Kenny Cooper has signed with Major League Soccer's Portland Timbers. The 26-year-old had 40 goals in 90 games for FC Dallas from 2006-09. Cooper then signed with 1860 Munich and scored three goals in 15 games in all competitions. He spent part of this year on loan at Plymouth as it [.

NEW YORK, NY Manchester United legend Eric Cantona has made a shock return to football with the New York Cosmos. The Frenchman has joined as their director of soccer. "I am very honoured to join the legendary New York Cosmos. It's a big project, a wonderful project," Cantona told the Sun. "The Cosmos are [.

CHESTER, Pa. — Goalkeeper Faryd Mondragon, the 39-year-old former starter for Colombia's national team, has agreed to a contract with Major League Soccer's Philadelphia Union along with Colombian defender Carlos Valdes. Mondragon terminated his contract last month with Cologne in Germany's Bundesliga.

So while researching another story, I came across this photo touting Soccer United Marketing President Kathy Carter as one of the most powerful women in sports. Helpfully buried in the caption was the following:

Carter is the Executive Vice President of Soccer United Marketing, helping accumulate $100 million in annual revenue.

ROTTERDAM, Netherlands The board of Rotterdam football club Feyenoord has announced the suspension of technical director Leo Beenhakker. General director Eric Gudde said there had been a crisis of trust between Beenhakker and the club. At a press conference last week Beenhakker, who had just learned his contract with Feyenoord would not be extended, [.

MONACO, Monaco — Monaco agreed to a deal to sign Mali midfielder Mahamadou Diarra from Real Madrid on Thursday. Monaco said on its website that Diarra was arriving in Monaco late Thursday, and the move will be finalized once he passes his medical test. Monaco gave no financial details of the deal but said it [.

HOFFENHEIM, Germany — Netherlands defender Edson Braafheid has joined Hoffenheim from Bundesliga rival Bayern Munich. Hoffenheim said the 27-year-old signed a 3 1/2-year contract on Thursday. Braafheid says the transfer is "very important for my further development, particularly with a view to the national team.

EINDHOVEN, Netherlands Eredivisie League leaders PSV Eindhoven left it late to beat Willem II while AZ Alkmaar hit six against Venlo. Eredivisie front-runners PSV Eindhoven fired home a 90th minute winner over Willem II as the late kick-off finished 2-1. Substitute Genaro Zeefuik was the hero for the home side after defender Bart Biemens [.

BOLTON, England Daniel Sturridge has joined Bolton Wanderers on loan until the end of the season. The 21-year-old forward will link up with Owen Coyle's squad hoping to add to his 21 appearances this season, in which time he has scored four times, most recently against Ipswich Town in the FA Cup on January [.

LIVERPOOL, England Andy Carroll has completed his transfer from Newcastle United to Liverpool FC and signed a 5 and a half-year-deal that will keep him at Anfield until 2016. The Club agreed a record transfer fee with Newcastle earlier in the day for the transfer of the England international striker.

LONDON, England— Aston Villa midfielder Stephen Ireland has completed a loan move to Newcastle for the rest of the season. Ireland's arrival at St James' Park came just hours after reports emerged that the deal had fallen through because he had failed a medical. The 24-year-old former Republic of Ireland international had a disappointing start [.

LONDON, England Chelsea have continued their extensive deadline day spending with the £21.3 million signing of Benfica's Brazilian defender David Luiz. Having signed Liverpool striker Fernando Torres for a fee rising to £50 million, Chelsea have also strengthened their defence with the acquisition of Luiz from the Portuguese club.

ALMATY, Kazakhstan Miroslav Beranek, who guided his native Czech Republic to a surprise European Under-21 title triumph in 2002, was named Kazakhstan coach on Monday. Beranek, 53, takes charge of a Kazakh team who are rooted to the bottom of Euro 2012 qualifying Group A. The Kazakhstan job had been vacant since October following [.

LONDON, England — Arsenal goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski will miss the rest of the season following shoulder surgery, Gunners manager Arsene Wenger said Thursday. The Pole was injured during the warm-up ahead of Arsenal's Premier League match against Manchester City last month and has not played since.

CHICAGO, Ill The Chicago Fire signed forward Gaston Puerari from Montevideo Wanderers of Uruguay. "Gaston is a talented, offensive player with the ability to make an impact for our club," Fire Technical Director Frank Klopas said. "We are excited to bring in a player with quick feet, good passing skills and the ability to [.

Rejoice! Like a walrus bear slowly and ponderously awaking from hibernation, the Spain World Cup Blog returns to the world of the living with the news of Vicente Del Bosque's call-up for a friendly!

[caption id="attachment_1427" align="aligncenter" width="612" caption="I swear on Villa's soul patch that the picture is related to this post.

LONDON, England Chelsea's Ashley Cole has been named England's Player of the Year for 2010 the first defender to win the award. Cole, who will draw level with Kenny Sansom on 86 caps to become his country's most-capped full-back if he faces Denmark on Wednesday, was the stand-out performer in a [.