Happy Monday, Kickettes!

We hope your weekend was full of footy, frolicks and free liquor, and that you got the results you were after for your boys.

As we're sure you've heard, Leo Messi notched his 72nd goal of this season a new record for most goals scored in one season.

That's Jose after last night's Clasico, hanging out in the Camp Nou parking lot next to the referee's car. He's not waiting to tell him how much he enjoyed his performance or beg him for the maker of his cologne, I can tell you that much.

Google Translate can do the rest.

TweetLionel Messi created Champions League history by becoming the first ever player to score five goals in a single match after hitting a hand against Bayer Leverkusen. The three time World Player of The Year lit up the Camp Nou with a startling performance as Barcelona ran out 7-1 winners against a hapless Bayer Leverkusen [.

I'm clapping for you, Pep.

In spite of my devastating taunts and fear-inducing ponytail, your troupe of hyperactive garden gnomes defeated Zlatan, once again crushing my dream of finally adding the Champions League trophy to my already overflowing silverware Zlabinet. So being the bigger man (I'm a 6'5" Zlatzilla and you're a Pepsqueak) I must congratulate and applaud you.

No sooner had Real Madrid been eliminated by Barcelona in the Copa Del Rey quarter-final had a new war of words emerged from the Real camp who ITS' Rolly Pelovangu argues are suffering from Battered Wife Syndrome After Barcelona's Copa Del Rey success over Real Madrid at the Camp Nou, the overriding image which stuck [.

Roberto Di Matteo's Chelsea continue to surprise everyone as they managed to overcome Barcelon'a attacking wave and grabbing a ticket into the final without picking up any defeat in two leg of Champions League semifinal.

After beating the defending champions 1-0 at Stamford Bridge, the Blues' bravery was displayed again at Camp Nou as they successfully held Pep Guardiola's men into a 2-2 draw, despite playing with 10 men for a large part of the game.

By Chris Wright

1. First of all, well done Chelsea. I think the word 'phenomenal' just about covers your performances over the two legs. Defending is just as integral a part of the game as attacking and, for all Barca's captivating intricacy in and around the area, Chelsea's heroic flat back nine emerged the victors.

05.05.2012 - A media luz y con las tribunas ya casi vacías, Pep Guardiola tuvo su despedida del Camp Nou. Acompañado por su pareja (Cristina Serra) y sus tres hijos (M rius, Maria y Valentina), regresó al césped para pasear unos minutos junto a ellos. Se sentó en el mismo banco donde trabajó en las últimas cuatro temporadas junto a sus hijos.

Buckle up! The three-way duel between Ibrahimovic, Jose Mourinho and Pep Guardiola has reached a new level of absurdity and to be honest, even a cotton-candy machine makes more sense than these three grown men.

Following Milan's elimination from the Champions League two nights ago, Ibrahimovic declared that he finally knew why Jose Mourinho was "always angry about playing at the Camp Nou", suggesting that the referees were biased.

A brilliant counter attacking goal at the very end of the first half is standing strong between Barcelona and the Champions League final in Munich after Chelsea secured a 1-0 victory at Stamford Bridge tonight. It was kind of a harsh and unlucky night with players wasting gilt edged chances, hitting the post on a couple of occasion and on all other occasion the Chelsea defense standing strong.

TweetBarcelona midfielder Andres Iniesta has warned Chelsea that they face an intense 90 minutes in their Champions League semi-final second-leg at the Camp Nou The visitors squandered a hatful of chances and hit the woodwork twice at Stamford Bridge before Didier Drogba's first-half injury-time strike gave Chelsea a slender 1-0 win on the night.

Despite strangely eager claims that he doesn't come through in the big matches, Cristiano Ronaldo scored the decisive 73rd-minute goal in Real Madrid's vital 2-1 win over Barcelona. He has now scored in four of Real Madrid's last five matches against Barca (plus Real Madrid's extra-time winner against Barca in last season's Copa del Rey final) and his latest virtually seals the league title by extending Real's lead over Barcelona to seven points with four matches left to play.

The stage is set. Barcelona need to win by a two goal margin to qualify for the Champions League final, Chelsea will do with a draw or scoring one less than Barcelona in a defeat.

Chelsea have had a perfect week, winning 1-0 at Stamford Bridge and then nullifying Arsenal at the Emirates despite playing their second-team.

24.04.2012 - Con goles de Ramires (´45) y Torres (´90), Chelsea le empató (2-2) a Barcelona (Busquets ´34, Iniesta ´42) en el Camp Nou y, después de ganarle (1-0) en Inglaterra, lo eliminó de la Champions League para consagrarse como primer finalista.

Chelsea midfielder John Obi Mikel has voiced his frustration at the manner in which Barcelona forward Alexis Sanchez convinced the referee's assistant to issue a red car to Blues captain John Terry at Camp Nou last night.

Terry was sent off in the 37th minute of Chelsea's 2-2 draw (a 3-2 win on aggregate) for kneeing Sanchez when both players were off the ball.

Barcelona vs Osasuna 4-0 Highlights 2012 Copa Del Rey Goals Video Fabregas Messi is a post from Soccer Blogger. Follow Soccer Blogger on Twitter

Barcelona vs Osasuna 4-0 Highlights 2012 Copa Del Rey Goals Video Fabregas Messi is a post from Soccer Blogger. Follow Soccer Blogger on Twitter Barcelona vs Osasuna 2012 ( Barca vs Osasuna Copa Del Rey video below) Final score and result:- Barcelona vs Osasuna 4-0 ( Fabregas*2, Messi*2) Camp Nou, Barcelona- 4th January, 2012- 21.

Jose Mourinho, the coach of Real Madrid, performed an interesting psychological ploy after El Clasico. The manager said that the responsibility for the result rests solely with him, stating that "victory has many father but defeat has only one, me". It was an obvious case of reverse psychology, acknowledging the defeat was his but still attempting to get the Real Madrid fans on side before they turn against him.

Cristiano Ronaldo put Real up in the 11th minute as he took advantage of the gaping hole between Jose Pinto's legs to swing the ball through after Karim Benzema sprang him free from midfield. That was it for Real's endeavours. Barca momentarily stunned took over the match keeping Iker Casillas busy.

In a game filled with attacking superstars, it was a pair of gritty defenders that decided the latest edition of El Clasico.

Carles Puyol and Eric Abidal turned around a 1-0 halftime deficit as Barcelona defeated eternal rivals Real Madrid, 2-1, at the Estadio Bernabeu in the first leg of the quarterfinals of the Copa del Rey Wednesday.

Abidal fires the winning blast to defeat Real Madrid (Photo: REUTERS/Susana Vera)

Barcelona mounted a second half comeback to defeat Real Madrid 2-1 at the Santiago Bernabeu, extracting a measure of vengeance for their defeat in last year's Copa del Rey Final at the hands of their eternal rivals.

By Chris Wright

"Shhh!!! Don't look at him. If we're quiet, he may go away"

Despite leading 2-1 from the first-leg and going a further two goals ahead by half-time in the second through Pedro and Dani Alves, Barcelona still found themselves fretting at the Camp Nou as Real Madrid staged a late-ish comeback attempt that saw Cristiano Ronaldo and Karim Benzema draw Los Merengues level on the night though it was to be in vain, as Barca eventually held out for the aggregate win that sealed them a berth in the Copa del Rey semi-finals.

Time-Lapse Camp Nou

Egoi Suso Rius decided that capturing a match, in its entirety, at the Camp Nou would be something special. It's been done before, but not in 110 seconds. Egoi chose to film the Barçelona vs. Osasuna match in January and the results are fantastic. Set to musical stylings of "Sonata No.

Time-Lapse Camp Nou

Egoi Suso Rius decided that capturing a match, in its entirety, at the Camp Nou would be something special. It's been done before, but not in 110 seconds. Egoi chose to film the Barçelona vs. Osasuna match in January and the results are fantastic. Set to musical stylings of "Sonata No.

Welcome to the Friday Crackovia Club, where it's always a party in here before the weekend! Of course, Crackovia is one of the most craziest football sketch shows from Catalonia and this week was all about Barcelona's quest to slow down Madrid using some insane dressing room rituals.

Having opened up a 10-point advantage over second-place Barcelona, Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho has begun organizing a victory parade through the Catalan capital to celebrate his club's first La Liga title since 2008. Though the parade will not go off until the end of the season in May, Mourinho has already started making unprecedented arrangements to hold a title celebration in a rival city.

By Chris Wright

It's Valentine's Day, love is in the air, the goose is getting fat, yadda yadda yadda. We thought we'd have a look at some of the greatest, most enduring romances that football has facilitated over the year because love, in all its forms, is a beautiful thing.

I'm not going to lie to you. As much as I'd like to sit here and tell you about all of the great action that is taking place this weekend, I'm having a hard time coming up with enough to fill up this entry. There are a pair of great matches on Sunday, that are taking place at the same time, unfortunately, but other than that, the pickings are pretty slim.

I hope like me everyone had a goodnight relaxed, in the knowledge that we do not have to play again until next Tuesday night.

In a game where I thought during the first half especially Liverpool, could have put at least a couple of goals past us.

The hero of the match for me was our goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny.

Looking back at Messi's first goal with FC Barcelona.

Yes, he's scored 234 goals with Barça. But just hold on a minute won't you? We need to go back to 2005 for this. We need to go back to when Andres Iniesta had a full head of hair and Ronaldinho did whatever he pleased with a smile on his face.

Real Madrid's lead in La Liga is not so insurmountable anymore.

Jose Mourinho's side played to a drew for the second straight game, allowing 17th-place Villarreal to take a point in a 1-1 draw Wednesday. As a result, Madrid's one-time, 10-point lead over Barcelona is down to six points with 10 games remaining in the league, including one head-to-head matchup at Camp Nou next month.

Barcelona v Milan Messi and Ibrahimovic hold the keys to success - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

Barcelona are clearly the better side going into the second leg of their Champions League quarter final against Milan the last three games between the two teams this season reflect that, but there is a genuine concern that Milan may upset Barcelona on Tuesday night.

Barcelona was held scoreless for the first time in 30 UEFA Champions League matches on Wednesday, and while AC Milan's organized defensive effort accounted for much of the club's frustration, the Spanish power was not entirely thrilled with the playing conditions either.

The defending world champions have lodged a complaint about the condition of the playing surface at the San Siro.

Tottenham's flying Welsh winger Gareth Bale underlined his huge importance to the side with his performance in the 3-1 win over Swansea. He was your man of the match too with over 40% of the vote with Kaboul and Adebayor in 2nd and 3rd place respectively.

Here's a reminder of what Harry Redknapp had to say about the player

"He's just an amazing talent.

03.04.2012 - Con goles de Lionel Messi (´11 y ´41 penales) y Andrés Iniesta (´53), Barcelona venció (3-1) a Milan (Nocerino ´32) en el Camp Nou por la vuelta de las semifinales de la Champions League, después de empatar 0-0 en Italia.
Se dirá y comentará.

Barcelona beat Milan 3-1 in yet another controversial Camp Nou Champions League result, while Bayern finished off Olympique Marseille with another 2-0 victory, for an aggregate score of 4-0.

Wednesday, April 4 (both kickoffs at 2:45pmET):

Chelsea vs Benfica: The match to watch on Wednesday.

The last time Fernando Torres played at the Camp Nou...

It was the 20th of May 2007. And it got ugly. Like more fingers than you (should) have on your right hand ugly.

Now that Chelsea have progressed to the semi-finals of the Champions League, partially due to the recent contributions of Torres, you'll begin to hear the hype coming from the English and Spanish media.

Make or break week for Barcelona as Chelsea and Real Madrid prepare to test the European champions - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

Barcelona's mantle as the best team in Europe is set to be tested over the next week, with three mouth-watering fixtures ready to challenge Pep Guardiola's men.

By JOHN BOSCHINI

It might not have been pretty, but some gritty defending combined with a clinical finish from Didier Drogba has given Chelsea the upper hand in their UEFA Champions League semifinal against Barcelona.

Chelsea held serve on a rainy night at Stamford Bridge in the first leg with a 1-0 win over Barcelona.

The disgraces for the first leg of the 2012 Champions League semifinal between Chelsea and Barcelona are as follows:

There were absolutely no f***ing disgraces in this game. And if you say that I was a f***ing disgrace then you are the one who is a f***ing disgrace! (Looking at you, Sergio Busquets.

Didier Drogba, the King of Chelsea?

Chelsea 1 - 0 Barcelona - Although the hosts played defensively, a rapid counter-attack finished by their iconic leading man, Didier Drogba, has lit the path to the Allianz Arena for the Champions League final.

Barcelona traveled to Stamford Bridge, a ground which has entertained exhilarating Champions League football in recent years between the two teams.