We kick off this edition of 'Weekend Wrap' with an epic photo of Arsenal's goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny, attempting ballet like pimps do. The Gunners recently filmed a video with dancers from the English National Ballet in a tie-up to promote their Official Automotive partner.

When the Czech Republic first take to the field against Russia, on 8 June, many of their fans may be worrying just where their goals are going to come from. Michal Bilek's side only found the net on 12 occasions, despite conceding just eight in a successful qualifying campaign.
The concern can be found in a lack of a reliable goal scorer.

By Chris Wright

This lo-res candid photo is doing the rounds today after being released into the wild by Barcelona's official club photographer, one Miguel Ruiz.

It shows a distraught Lionel Messi, alongside the void Andres Iniesta and the thoroughly knackered Javier Mascherano, struggling to stave off the waterworks after Barca's last-minute 1-0 defeat at the hands of Real Madrid in last year's Copa Del Rey final (e.

Welcome to the first Friday Crackovia Club of 2012! As the Catalans say... "és temps de festa!" (time to party) And really, who better to raise your first toast to than these brilliant actors, who do it week in and week out? (just like the players!

It's January, as you might've noticed; and if you hadn't I would suggest those New Year's resolutions about not drinking anything that really ought to be kept on a shelf in the shed aren't going all that well. For the rest of you, you know the score. It's the beginning of the year and that can mean only one thing: the always-good-for-a-laugh-don't-believe-everything-you hear-better-off-not-opening-any-tabloid-newspapers-or-football-websites-for-a-month-pick-any-name-out-of-a-hat.

Goals:
Simpson 28'
Bellamy 30'
Gerrard 45' (pen)
Shelvey 68'
Carroll 89'
Downing 90+4'
It should be illegal to complain when Liverpool score five, including firsts for Shelvey and Downing and a cameo from Carroll off the bench, no matter the opposition or merits of overall performance.

Will Thierry Henry start up front with RVP at Swansea on Sunday? Probably not I reckon, AW has stayed coy over his plans but if he didn't start him in the 1-0 win over Leeds in the FA Cup then he's hardly likely to in a Premier League game with three vital points at stake is he? But Henry did make a dramatic goal-scoring cameo in that game.

Real dissension in the ranks?

The Real Madrid fans are in a barracking mood, just like the fans giving stick to Arsene Wenger. The Barca game blew up in their face because Mou decided to stick 11 men behind the ball and with the exception of an 11th minute of enterprise, played like he was afraid to lose which is exactly what happened.

photo by Stephen Brashear/ISIphotos.com

The U.S. women's national team cruised through the Group Stage of Olympic qualifying and now just needs a win on Friday against Costa Rica to reach the Summer Games in London.

There's one problem: Hope Solo might not play.

I don't know if you've noticed, but January has been pretty awful so far. We've lost all three of our league games, and we've gone back to our old habit of throwing away leads. United swept us aside with an ease that was almost saddening, given how massive the games between the two clubs used to be.

It has been announced that Newcastle midfielder Alan Smith is joining League One side MK Dons on loan for the rest of the season. Alan Smith joining MK Dons for the rest of the season The 31-year-old former Leeds United and Manchester United player has appeared in only two cameo substitute appearances for Newcastle [.

Remember our last FA Cup game? One of the great moments in the history of the Emirates. An average performance completely dismissed by 5 seconds of theatre. Today I would love to see a 90 minute performance which will raise the despair around the ground following 3 defeats.

We have to accept that we are not going to be Champions this year yes, even you Peaches.

Remember our last FA Cup game? One of the great moments in the history of the Emirates. An average performance completely dismissed by 5 seconds of theatre. Today I would love to see a 90 minute performance which will raise the despair around the ground following 3 defeats.

We have to accept that we are not going to be Champions this year yes, even you Peaches.

WE'RE BACK! Ultras Alive returns this Monday February 13 at 10pm for it's 35th show and the first one in 2012 with guests Gabriel Gabor Major League Soccer / Soccer United Marketing's (Twitter: @MLSGabor )who will be promoting the Mexico vs Colombia game this coming February 29, 2012
We will also be giving out 2 tickets to the game so stay tuned on how you can win them.

A few months ago, it looked as though Manchester United were set to lose their brightest young talents, with Ravel Morrison and Paul Pogba reportedly looking for more money elsewhere.

Since then, it appears as though Morrison wasn't offered a new contract, with United becoming fed up with his failure to attend training and drama that followed him, whilst Pogba has been given a chance with the first team.

It turns out it was quite a comedic cameo from Jamie Carragher in yesterday's Carling Cup final victory over Cardiff. As well as his rugby efforts, Carra also celebrated the penalty shootout win with this high five disaster with keeper Pepe Reina. If Kenny Dalglish ever finds himself needing to explain why the stalwart is [.

By Chris Wright

Barcelona have just announced that Eric Abidal is to undergo an emergency liver transplant at some point 'in the coming weeks.'

Barca's medical department issued the following statement:

"In the coming weeks, Abidal will undergo a liver transplant, given the development of his liver illness.

photo by JN Santos/ISIphotos.com

Vancouver Whitecaps rookie forward Darren Mattocks has been sidelined indefinitely after suffering burns while cooking dinner this past weekend.

According to a Whitecaps press release, Mattocks was preparing dinner on Sunday when he suffered burns to his upper right arm and shoulder.

Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard put in a guest appearance in last night's Sport Relief Outnumbered special. Lamps finds himself pitting his wits against the youngest member of the Brockman family, Karen, who is his mascot for a match against Aston Villa. There's even a cameo for closet netball player Howard Webb.

Turns out that the thing to fill the late-season gaps in the schedule is producing club-sponsored music videos. This one's a little less standard than PSG's recording of their anthem, what with being a ripoff of a pop track and all. Plus there are Furries. Or what look to be, anyway.

There is not enough time to discuss the delightful "coincidence" of Christoph Daum being their coach, either.

Another strong defensive performance by a Clarence Goodson-led back line helped Brondby hang on for the win while Chris Rolfe's short cameo for Aalborg ended in red during their loss to Horsens.

Sunderland 0-0 Tottenham www.sporsun.com by sporsun

Lets characterize this match as one that you would not choose to introduce anyone to the sport of soccer. It was a match thick with overall incompetence and incoherence. Still in those misconstrued passes there was something oddly compelling in the same train-wreckish way Sarah Palin flunks the most basic of foreign policy questions.

Sunderland 0-0 Tottenham www.sporsun.com by sporsun

Lets characterize this match as one that you would not choose to introduce anyone to the sport of soccer. It was a match thick with overall incompetence and incoherence. Still in those misconstrued passes there was something oddly compelling in the same train-wreckish way Sarah Palin flunks the most basic of foreign policy questions.

By Alan Duffy

At the end of Saturday night's Match of the Day, crisp-hawker and master of the bland, Gary Lineker, decided to push his own presenting skills to daring new limits by including an 'hilarious' Arsene Wenger impersonation.

Tinged with what could be construed as a hint of xenophobia as well as what seemed like a fair amount of bitterness, Lineker's little comedy cameo seemed rather out of place on the programme.

By Alan Duffy

At the end of Saturday night's Match of the Day, crisp-hawker and master of the bland, Gary Lineker, decided to push his own presenting skills to daring new limits by including an 'hilarious' Arsene Wenger impersonation.

Tinged with what could be construed as a hint of xenophobia as well as what seemed like a fair amount of bitterness, Lineker's little comedy cameo seemed rather out of place on the programme.

Like Liverpool before them, money-enriched Russian club Anzhi needed a rap song about them. But instead of going the Liverpool route and having the players do it themselves, Anzhi brought in Russian rapper Timaro to do the heavy lifting while members of the squad served as video filler.

The whole thing is pretty straight forward, but the best part of the video is manager Guus Hiddink's very brief cameo towards the end.

It was very interesting to watch the game.
-Roberto Di Matteo

Rob was, of course, talking about the German Cup final between Borussia Dortmund and Bayern Munich, not Sunday's largely irrelevant bout of monkeyshines at Stamford Bridge. We finished sixth in the Premier League somebody call my mama.

If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again. And again. And again. And again seven more times.

After going winless in their last 10 regular season games, the Revolution finally handed the Fire a defeat during Saturday's 2-0 victory at Gillette Stadium.

While the Revs were pleased to snap the embarrassing streak, there were other storylines unfolding between the first and final chirps of the whistle.