Late March, and if you listen carefully you can - in the parlance of a certain puce-cheeked knight of the realm - hear the sound of bums starting to squeak. So, time to cast an eye over the teams who this May are most likely to be swapping the preening pros, plastic fans and prawn sandwiches of the Premier League for the Bovril, goal celebration music and cheerleaders of the Championship.

We took a close look at the remaining fixtures in this season's Barclay's Premiership, and we are unimpressed. Surely the Manchesters won't simply run away with the league, and there's got to be some sort of shakeup between third, fourth and the also rans between now and the middle of May... But apparently no.

David Hytner's article hints at Ivan Gazidis's plans to sell the Arsenal brand:

" Gazidis has identified a huge discrepancy between the worldwide reach of the Arsenal brand and the revenue that it generates. He believes that bringing the latter up to speed - the club have sophisticated strategies in place to do so - is the surest way forward.

Bored, bored, bored, bloody bored. Anyone else bored of the transfer window?

I don't care if Fabregas joins Barcelona any more, I used to care, obviously, I'm an Arsenal fan. I'm not sure how many more images or rumours of Cesc licking his Catalan mates bums I can take, these are only rumours of course, it's what the press do, it's their way of controlling a situation to sell more papers, or to get more hits.

Alan Pardew wants to recruit flair players to Newcastle United to get 'bums off seats'. Alan Pardew has previously expressed his desire to bring more 'flair players' into the team and he seems to be continuing in that vein with his recent comments. Pardew said: "Next year the most important thing is that we improve.

Inter Milan's attacking midfielder Phillippe Coutinho has emerged as a summer transfer target for Liverpool according to insidefutbol.com.
The highly rated Samba star has fallen down the pecking order at the San Siro, since the arrival of current coach Leonardo, who replaced former Anfield boss Rafael Benitez at the helm of the Serie A club.

Everybody in Indonesian football talks about the need to generate more revenue streams, about the need to get more bums on the seats. But as is all too often the case the hot air coming from their mouths is never backed up by any meaningful action.
Check out these two attendances for Persib's last couple of home games.

Editor's note: Wow, he transcribed the whole thing! Definitely worth reading.

Arlo White was on the April 11, 2011 episode of ExtraTime Radio (MP3). You can hear him 37 minutes in the podcast. I wasn't planning on transcribing the whole 15 minutes, but I'm horrible at paraphrasing. So here's a non-exact transcript.

Hmm...what do we have here?

Polished toesies in semi-normal peep toes? Check.

A plump pout in a fabulous fuchsia hue? Yup.

Tamed tresses? COMO SAY WHAAAT?!

It must be opposite day, Kickettes, because we're about to commend Carly Cole for looking good. For the second time in two months.

Remember when the domestic season was over, the World Cup was won and we woke from a celebratory stupor, still sticky from spilled buckets of sangria, to realise there was no football for like, a month?

There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth at the time, but because we're never ones to be beaten by something as minor as our entire raison d'etre going AWOL, the Kickette HQ embraced the problem.

There's been quite an explosion of high-profile ladies linking up with La Liga stars as of late, and it's sometimes hard to make sense of the semi-translatable details, no? Google translate has yet to come up with accurate descriptors of things like "glitter Gucci belts" or "short-tents in green jeans", which can make even the most sedate La Liga loving Kickette frustrated.