By Chris Wright

'The Hart Fart' appears to be a phenomenon that most Man City fans are aware of already, being as though their official in-house television channel has already produced an in-depth analysis package to accompany the video.

For the unenlightened, the clip is taken from City's 2011 blooper reel and sees Joe Hart letting go of a little bum toot in the back of a taxi, with captain Vincent Kompany trying desperately to keep a straight face in order to admonish young Joseph and his rogue sphincter, while Micah Richards just explodes in fits of howling laughter.

In gameweek 29 of the Premier League, we now have 10 games left in the Premier League. As Sir Alex Ferguson says, we're entering ‘squeaky bum time,' where the matches get harder for all clubs involved. The ones near the ...
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Squeaky-bum time, the Manchester United manager calls it.
Arsène Wenger was driven to such a loss of sangfroid during one run-in he could be seen tugging at his tie knot, as if it had been closing round his throat. The more we saw of José Mourinho before Ferguson finally got the better of him, the more he seemed to be auditioning for Monty Python's Silly party.

1. If OTP didn't know better we'd say that sounded very much like the sound of a squeaky bum emanating from Manchester United's direction. 2. Carlos Tevez is back with a bang. 3. Fergie has tried Nemanja Vidic, Rio Ferdinand, Jonny Evans, Phil Jones and Chris Smalling, but it turns out the best protection he [.

After their 5-1 demolition of Spurs last night, Chelsea are undoubtedly on cloud nine and about to pop all the champagne available in Roman Abramovich's yacht. Wouldn't you be if you were Frank Lampard? He's confident and walks with a spring in his step these days, especially ahead of Wednesday's Champions League encounter against Barcelona.

1. Sir Alex Ferguson is like an inventor who's suffered great misfortune at the hands of his own invention. It looks like squeaky bum time has come back to haunt him. 2. The two managers seemed determined to settle their score in the only way they know: a pitchside dance-off of The Birdie Song. 3. [.

Michael, his wife Lisa, and their kids, daughter Louise (at left) and son Jacey (above), chillaxed on the beach in Barbados yesterday. If we weren't poor we would've bought today's exclusive shots of Lisa's bum high up in the air mid yoga-on-the-beach pose, but we've got Amex bills to pay. Mikey's United teammate, Rio Ferdinand, [.

If I had to sum up the first half in one word, it would be boring. If I had to sum up the second half in one hyphenated word it would be squeaky-bum. We looked flat in the first half an the attackers really weren't in the game, the second half, we nicked a cheeky goal from nowhere, looked like we would go on and get a few more, but instead spent the last 20 minutes with our backs to the wall.

Hold on tight and hold your nose Lifting a stretcher should not be one of life's more complicated tasks, and yet it catches out hapless stretcher bearers on a surprisingly regular basis. This incident comes Brazil and the match between Internacional and Confianca. The injured player should have known he was in for a rough [.

Images: MadridAtleticos.com & Autobild.es.

The Atletico Madrid men were out in full press call-posing force last week, making nice with their club's newest sponsor, Volkswagen.

After the flash bulbs took a breather, the squad was given instructions on how to activate the automatic hair gel dispensers that were custom fit to each player's new (free) Beatle.

Make no mistake about it, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain has created a buzz amongst Gooners that is only comparable with Charlie Sheen mangled on Tigerblood.
The boy has burst onto the scene in explosive fashion since making his first league start for Arsenal against Manchester United last month.

By Alan Duffy

Gary Lineker may himself exude a certain charm-free smugness but next to the high king of smug gobshitery that is Piers Morgan, the Match Of The Day host is a crisp-promoting little sweetie bum.

Morgan took on Lineker on Twitter today, as he continues to cultivate his contrived "Mr Nasty" image.

As we enter March we take another step closer to 'squeaky bum time'. This February threw up tricky looking fixtures in the Premier League with trips to Stamford Bridge to face a 'transitional' Chelsea, and to Carrow Road to take on the relatively high-flying Norwich City. Sandwiched between those league games United welcomed hosted Liverpool [.

The speculation surrounding Robin van Persie's future has become hotter than the vindaloo I had just before Christmas. It was so hot, I haven't had one since.
Such is his form, every top club in Europe will be keeping their beady eyes on him and his contract situation at Arsenal.
Roberto Mancini is the latest man to start talking.

1. Don't wait for OTP to write this conclusion. Don't wait for OTP. Don't wait for OTP. [The Joe Hart Honorary Conclusion] 2. But Hart ultimately lost his game of Swanupmanship thanks to Premier League legend Luke Moore. 3. Clint Hill thinks he got off pretty lightly. Usually when the QPR man crosses the line, [.

Roberto Mancini nicked the crown jewel of Fergie's post-match phrase weaponry yesterday after his team's exhilarating comeback against Chelsea. Mancini explained to the press that after Gary Cahill's deflected strike gave Roberto Di Matteo's side the lead, the remainder of the high-stakes match "seemed like squeaky bum time".

By Chris Wright

In which Manchester City goliath Yaya Toure is confronted, evidently for the first time, with the loathsome phrase first proffered into the football lexicon by Sir Alex Ferguson and now repeated ad nauseum by the Shearers and Dixons of this world 'squeaky bum time' grimly inferring that the anxiety bought about one's footballing predicament is making one's sphincter twitch like a bunny rabbit's nose.

By Chris Wright

So, page 60 0f Southampton's programme for Saturday's 2-0 win over Doncaster featured an odd, rather forward competition prize the chance to 'enter Miss Southampton' for the very reasonable price of £45...

Fnarf, fnarf. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

Premier League Weekend Preview: Wolves host Bolton in six-pointer, Newcastle welcome faltering Liverpool, Blackburn look to halt United's title charge - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

It's squeaky bum time for many teams in the Premier League, as there are only eight matches left in the season.

1. Manchester City appear to have mastered the squeaky bum crack. There are not holding up well to the run-in pressure. 2. The Black Cats haven't been very lucky for City this season. A defeat at the Stadium of Light and then a light salvage job to get a draw at the Etihad. 3. Pepe [...]

By Chris Wright

1. "A real Keystone Cops moment" We're starting with a real pet hate here. Has anyone actually seen this movie or even so much as heard it referred to outside of the MotD studio? Is it anything like Beverley Hills Ninja?

2.

Squeaky Bum Time- As the clock ticks on this year's Premier League, fantasy managers everywhere are beginning to sweat. Whatever your motivation – pub bragging rights, office sweepstakes, England job – the importance of cashing in on opportunities...
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Dr Mart is back in the house as he joins Chidge and the usual suspects, plus Beth from Chelsea in America, to discuss the Benfica, Wigan and Fulham games.
What a week! Squeaky bum time last Wednesday against Benfica, rescued by none other than ‘Tufty' Meireles to ensure our progress to the semi-final of the Champions League; the ‘Great Escape' against Wigan to keep us in the hunt for 4th in the Premier League, and then the damp squib on Monday night at Craven Cottage in the draw against the small club in Putney which dampened more than our spirits.

By Chris Wright

The gentle odour of fair play that has permeated the afternoon continues to waft, with soul-affirming footage from the Northern Ireland Premiership game between Dungannon Swifts and Ballymena United.

We join the action at 0-0 with Dungannon being awarded a penalty after Ballymena centre-back Gavin Taggart catches the ball in the area mistakenly thinking he'd heard the whistle sound for play to stop so his injured teammate, Chris Rodgers (who had dislocated a shoulder), could be stretchered from the field.

Another eventful weekend in the Premier League (and in FA Cup action) and we're now just a month away from the end of the season. Squeaky bum time. Here's the latest news from around the league: Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba ... Continue reading →

Some time ago I made a decision to stop belittling our opponents. This was due to a rash of defeats to lesser team following an abusive prematch (yes, I have that much power). But sometimes needs must, plus I have to be realistic and accept my posts have no impact whatsoever of the result of the game.

Some time ago I made a decision to stop belittling our opponents. This was due to a rash of defeats to lesser team following an abusive prematch (yes, I have that much power). But sometimes needs must, plus I have to be realistic and accept my posts have no impact whatsoever of the result of the game.

Bob spoke to Chelsea TV over the weekend. He dropped some pretty damn good news.

Thanks to Los Blancos on Tumblr for the collage.

Our entertaining Brazilian offered his thoughts on the hamstring injury that has kept him off the field for several weeks.