bulge

English Premier League

Something Has Got To Give.

Arsenal Arsenal at related • 2 views

Am I the only one who chuckled when we signed Podolski? I mean the signing at that time and of that grade of player didn't just pull the carpet from those who love to criticise Arsenal's transfer policy, it yanked it so hard that they were thrown in the air and silenced upon landing.

Wenger only signs kids.

Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

KICKETTE at related • 68 views

Saturday

- Francesco Totti was spotted soaking wet, in a bulge cupper on an Italian beach. Just how God intended it (PS his wife and kids were there too).

- We gave a warm chorizo welcome to Chelsea's latest transfer signing, Oriol Romeu. Don't be shy in your hellos, Kickettes, he doesn't bite*.

Kickette Men’s Underpants Research Institute: Coloured-Kit Study Findings Revealed

KICKETTE at related • 15 views
Image: Getty Images.

This just in: our very own Kickette Men's Underpants Research Institute has concluded that lighter-coloured shorts are 73%* more likely to offer the best view of a short-tent and/or bulge. What's more, we read an equally reputable article the other day that reinforced our findings about the importance of kit colour.

Out & About: Dimitar Berbatov In Cheshire

KICKETTE at related • 29 views

Though puzzled by the frequent visual proof that footballers actually buy their groceries themselves (rather than hiring imported servants and/or desperate peasants to do their manual labour), we love seeing footballers doing the groceries.

For example, here's Manchester United's Dimitar Berbatov stocking up on H20 and other goodies at Sainsburys in Wilmslow two days ago.

Fernando Torres: Wishing You A Big New Year

KICKETTE at related • 30 views

Happy 2011, Kickettes! We sincerely hope you had a wonderful break filled with pudding and presents.

We also hope you spent your New Year celebrations with someone you love/lust/like, and that the alcohol poisoning only required an overnight hospital stay.

We can't think of a better way to welcome a new start than with this fascinating short tent scenario from the Liverpool/Bolton game.

Free Kicks

DROGBA - WE NEED YOU TONIGHT MORE THAN EVER!

A Chelsea Fans Blog for Chelsea Fans at related • 3 views

Forget all the comments being made and focus on Didier Drogba and his "diving" or so they call it at Stamford Bridge ahead of tonight's game. Make no mistake. Barcelona are scared of Drogba and are more than worried about the big man.

He has proven over the years to be the scourge of Barcelona with important goals against them.

FIFA Fantasy Directive: New Season, New Rules

KICKETTE at related • 27 views
Imagine how beautiful the above left image would be without the base layers. Our vision of the future? Above right.

It's time for a change, Kickettes.

You might recall FIFA's refusal to implement goal line technology was laughably brought to the watching public's attention during the World Cup by Mr Frank Lampard.

top scorer

Champions League Observations: Comments On Comebacks

KICKETTE at related • 6 views
Arsenal fans? Allow us to distract you with a bulge/bottom/belly related three-fer!

Two football matches, four teams, 22 players, five goals on the night, fourteen across the fixtures.

Holy smokes! We can't believe we got that right on the first attempt!

Arsenal 3-0 AC Milan (3-4 agg)

Image:Â ADRIAN DENNIS/AFP/Getty Images.

Curiouser and Curiouser: United’s season so far

All Four One, and One Four All! at related • 5 views



Ducky's Note: As I stand suitably chastised for writing off our team in Valencia, where they came back with a classic smash and grab, Ankur is back with his second post for BFZ. While it's not an emotion we would expect after what should be a Serotonin-inducing victory yesterday, we must admit it's something that's been on every Manc's mind for long.

Beck Talk

David Beckham: Standing Tall In Silver

KICKETTE at related • 5 views
Seen outside last night's H&M David Beckham Bodywear launch party in London. Image:Â Bauer Griffin.

Kickettes, do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Whether or not a three-wish-granting genie pops out, I'd like to rub David Beckham's silver statue bulge.

David Beckham: Would You Buy Children’s Clothes From This Man?

KICKETTE at related • 30 views

This is not a test of your blood pressure, dear readers, this is an emergency.

Did you hear the one about Britain's best-known doting daddy, David Beckham, getting his Goldenballs in gear to create a forthcoming kids clothing line with American rapper Snoop Dogg?

If this gossip holds true, this would be probably the closest case of mental combustion we'll ever experience outside of watching our brains on drugs.

Arsenal

Can Park really be considered as an alternative to Van Persie?

Just Arsenal at related • 2 views
Whilst Robin Van Persie's shots continue to bulge nets far and wide, there is always the worry that his injury woes could return, leaving Arsenal with little options up front apart from the ineffective Chamakh. Since the arrival of Park and his subsequent brilliant run of form for his country, though, this issue seemed to [.

I’d Rather

All Four One, and One Four All! at related • 0 views



Don't you hate it when you're team loses? If you're anything like me, I'm sure you'd rather have your balls used as Christmas ornaments or say, have a gay locust couple raise a family in your rectum, than actually sit through 90 minutes of the appalling-some-shit that passes for football.

Bastos

The Five Tests Of Titillation: Bafetimbi Gomis, French NT

KICKETTE at related • 6 views
The 'Sex Face'. With additional looming? It's a strong start from Bafe. Image: BERTRAND GUAY/AFP/Getty Images.

Aside from a perfunctory nod in the Weekend Results and the occasional photo of Yoann Gourcuff, Ligue 1 tends to remain somewhat 'off-piste' for us. But that doesn't mean we're not constantly monitoring the newswires (Editor's note: yes it does) for images of players exhibiting what we like to call 'The Five Tests of Titillation': namely those poses that we can wilfully misinterpret as an effort by a player to appear on these pages.

Rampaging Robben Stars In Dutch Delight!

The Flat Back Four at related • 15 views


Brazil has not lost a match in which Robinho scores and he made the Dutch net bulge twice in the first half hour. The first one denied as Alves was offside but on the half hour mark, Robinho latched on to a through ball from Felipe Melo to bend one past Stekelenburg. Brazil one nil up and looking menacing as they repeatedly danced round the Dutch midfield and defence.

The Weekly Fit

The Thursday Thighs: Davide Santon, Italy

KICKETTE at related • 46 views
From the picturesque hills of the Italian countryside also known as Package Shrinking Paradise here is training wheels-eligible Davide Santon's bulge accentuated by his flat surface thigh. Disregard our unscrupulous efforts to mask a perfectly good Short Tent post as a Thursday Thigh treat, we're just doing our jobs here.

The Friday Fit: Lukas Podolski, FC Köln

KICKETTE at related • 60 views

We aren't sure where or when these images are from, but judging by Lukas Podolski's bulge, it's new (and news) to us.

What we do need to determine is what we did to deserve this kind of Friday, and then repeat the process.

Vacay: Francesco Totti In Sabaudia, Italy

KICKETTE at related • 36 views

No, no. It only looks like he's wearing underpants.

In Francesco Totti's (wonderful) world, those tight, bulge-cupping to the point of obscene pristine white bathers of beauty are called appropriate swimwear for public use.

See more at The Offside/HABS

Vacay: Francesco Totti In Sabaudia, Italy

KICKETTE at related • 110 views

No, no. It only looks like he's wearing underpants.

In Francesco Totti's (wonderful) world, those tight, bulge-cupping to the point of obscene pristine white bathers of beauty are called appropriate swimwear for public use.

See more at The Offside/HABS

The Friday Fit: Behind the Seams with D&G

KICKETTE at related • 23 views

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click on the above pic and pay close attention to:

- 0:26 when Domenico Criscito shimmies and shakes his 'intimates' in their place

- 0:30 Vincenzo Iaquinta's bulge from the side

- 0:54 Antonio Di Natale vibin' to the machine music

The Friday Fit: Behind the Seams with D&G

KICKETTE at related • 10 views

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click on the above pic and pay close attention to:

- 0:26 when Domenico Criscito shimmies and shakes his 'intimates' in their place

- 0:30 Vincenzo Iaquinta's bulge from the side

- 0:54 Antonio Di Natale vibin' to the machine music

Ronaldo

Links That We Like…

Inthestands.co.uk at related • 5 views

Click here to view the embedded video.

Beninian trickster Sessegnon sticks Sporting Lisbon's Grimi on his arse with a couple of stepovers and then gets penalised! Go figure...

Is it the end of Fat Ronaldo's career... Caught Offside

Brazil's other darling Ronaldinho is battling the bulge by being put on his own fitness regime.

Cristiano and Karim: Real Madrid Boys In Blue

KICKETTE at related • 55 views

Surely we didn't miss the men's spring trend memo? We definitely dont' recall this 'look' or colour scheme on the top of watch lists.

Cristiano Ronaldo (at the Champions League Trophy handover) and Karim Benzema (at Sergio Ramos's 24th) both pounded the Spanish pavement in navy & white track jackets with similarly-coloured denim.

Cristiano and Karim: Real Madrid Boys In Blue

KICKETTE at related • 45 views

Surely we didn't miss the men's spring trend memo? We definitely dont' recall this 'look' or colour scheme on the top of watch lists.

Cristiano Ronaldo (at the Champions League Trophy handover) and Karim Benzema (at Sergio Ramos's 24th) both pounded the Spanish pavement in navy & white track jackets with similarly-coloured denim.

The Rest

Sporting K.C. Ends Seattle’s Hold on U.S. Open Cup

New England Soccer Today at related • 0 views

Sporting K.C. midfielder Paulo Nagamura converted a controversial second chance at his club's final penalty to help break Seattle's three-year grip on the U.S. Open Cup win a 1-1 win (3-2 on penalties) in Wednesday's final at LIVESTRONG Sporting Park.

Nagamura, whose first attempt was stopped by Michael Gspurning on the right post, was handed a do-over by the referee after it was ruled that Seattle's keeper came off his line early.

Birthday Greetings: Daniele De Rossi

KICKETTE at related • 1 view
Birthday greetings to DDR's bulge it's 29 years young today. Party at their place! Image from 2009.

One Month Down: An Early Look At 2012 Numbers

Brotherly Game at related • 1 view

Danny Mwanga has scored in 11 of his 56 regular season appearances for the Philadelphia Union, and the squad has only lost once when he's found the back of the net. Unfortunately, his last goal came 23 games ago on June 25th. In that same stretch, Danny posted two assists (home and away against the terrible 2011 edition of the New England Revolution).

Tardy Musings on Spurs vs Chelski, Bolton…

All Action, No Plot at related • 0 views

Chelski 0 – 0 Spurs

Awfully puzzling game this one, as you no doubt recall. The first half of dedicated non-aggression was followed by Chelski probably edging things, only for our lot to carve out enough clear-cut chances to hand out a right thrashing. Alas, the conclusion to draw was that our lot to a man need to spend a full week engaged in nothing but shooting practice (or they could just stick Defoe on the pitch, and watch as some of those chances miraculously cause the net to bulge).

Big fat Adriano being kept under house arrest in hotel

Off the Post at related • 0 views
World's worst room service Corinthians are keeping their biggest star (literally) under house arrest in a bid to halt the seemingly unstoppable expansion of his waistline. Former Inter Milan star Adriano is being kept under lock and key at a hotel after the club decided to show tough love to their striker to help his [.

World Cup Travels: A NCNB Correspondent (Part III)

Never Captain Nicky Butt at related • 1 view
Locals on Long Street
Our world traveling NCNB correspondent continues sending us his journal entries from cyber-cafes as he travels the world watching football with the locals...
"I feel as though I have been fairly brief with my recollections because I am always trying to get caught up to the present moment.