It is the oldest cliché in sports that one game does not a season make. In spite of this, Opening Day is almost always dissected and analyzed by fans looking to justify their greatest hopes or deepest fears for a team that binds their heartstrings so tightly.

By CASEY CANNON

Hello and Welcome to the Soccer by Ives Fantasy Corner – with extra sarcasm! Every week I dig through statistics, news, and rumors to provide the reader with the kind of fantasy advice that only a the winner of the Brimstone Cup can provide.

A win is always sweet, some more than others. Such was the case for FC Dallas as they crushed the Chicago Fire Sunday afternoon at Toyota Park outside of Chicago in the second leg of the Brimstone Cup. Goals from Jeff Cunningham (15') and Kenny Cooper (80') figured into the final tally along with a C.

Photo by ISIphotos.com

By CASEY CANNON

Hello and Welcome to the Soccer by Ives Fantasy Corner – now even more fertile!

The Dynamo was lined up to hand Chicago their first loss of the season. Then, of course, FC Dallas over-achieves and does the unthinkable. Yes, they managed a 3-0 victory over the Fire in what they call battle for the Brimstone Cup.

Did this really happen? I didn't see it. It's likely nobody in Dallas saw it.

Right now it looks a long shot that FCD will bring home any torphies this year except the Brimstone Cup. The Red Stripes sure took care of business in Chicago though and have the Brimstone well in hand.

Do the Hammerheads get the Brimstone Cup?

I'm all for MLS marketing to supporters as well as to spectators, and encouraging the culture of soccer that everyone who is reading this blog probably appreciates the value of already.

FC Dallas obviously have a serious deficit of such supporters, and given the success of Seattle's marketing campaign, they and many other MLS teams have wisely chosen to try to appeal more to your active soccer fan.

Photo by ISIphotos.com

By CASEY CANNON

Hello and Welcome to the Soccer by Ives Fantasy Corner – now even more fertile!

By CASEY CANNON

Hello and Welcome to the Soccer by Ives Fantasy Corner – with extra sarcasm! Every week I dig through statistics, news, and rumors to provide the reader with the kind of fantasy advice that only a the winner of the Brimstone Cup can provide.

My apologies for taking the easy way out this week with the cliche holiday column. Just be glad I didn't decide to write a "Holiday Letter!". Anyway, here's my holiday shopping list for prominent folks in American (and Canadian) soccer from A-Z.

Andrew Hauptman: Wisdom to hire a coach with knowledge of MLS players and respect for the Fire's history and tradition.