Not all weaknesses reveal themselves easily on a silver screen. Sometimes, we think we've found Achilles's heel, but instead encounter steel-backed boots. Sometimes, we use our hands to part the scales on the sleeping dragon's chest only to realize, crap, we brainfarted and left the sword at the cave entrance.

The modern day footballer is not an athlete alone. Oh no, he is expected to be all things to all men, including becoming a sportsbook author. OTP salutes some of the (relatively) shocking prose created when our top footballing stars put pen to paper. Here are six examples of when the normally mundane footballer autobiography [.

You were only supposed to sub bloody Van Der Vaart off We're not sure that going to your tax evasion trial in fancy dress as a man who made his name getting his hands on a stash of Italian gold bullion is such a bright idea, 'Arry. Follow live coverage from the Harry Redknapp trial [...]