OK, not really. It's nowhere near official, but trust me (or your own brain) on this one. Rumors are flying everywhere, and all signs are pointing towards it.
We all know Fat Ronaldinho loves to party. And we all know that Hollywood does nothing but party. LA seems like such a good fit for an aging former-World Footballer of the Year.

After the heartbreaking loss to Ghana last Saturday, I was furious. How was it possible that with this once in a lifetime opportunity to get to the final four of the world's largest and globally significant tournament that we could blow it? When we started extra time, I had this feeling slowly creeping into my brain.

I've been wondering for some time just how Portland plans to have PGE Park upgraded and ready for MLS play come next spring. The Division II Timbers are still playing there, the city's minor league baseball team is still playing there, and my admittedly under-educated-when-it-comes-to-construction brain has troubling reconciling the timeline with all that needs to be done.

With World Cup Fever on the brain, it is easy to forget DC United has business to attend to in Columbus tomorrow night, as indeed I did forget, which is why I am scrambling around at the last minute writing this preview while watching a tape delay of the Switzerland-Honduras match, so this preview is going to be a bit more off the cuff than you loyal readers are accustom to, but here we go.

These are also our Butt Buddies
A bit of what's in Butt's Brain on a Monday evening...

• A Happy New Year and thanks to our Butt Buddies at The Football Corner for naming us 2009 Football Blog of the Year. We are hoping for a great 2010 - a World Cup year, brilliant.

• Breaking news coming out of EPL Talk that Fox Sports International is in talks to acquire Setanta Sports.

Butt's Brain on a Monday... Is Arsenal's midfield depth the best in the world? [Goal] Tottenham fantasy stud Rafal van der Vaart has an injured hamstring [Telegraph] AFR's 3rd ever podcast is out [A Football Report] Belgian player tosses duck ... Continue reading →

Originally, I was going to post some more on strikes, failed mediations, and shattered dreams. Well, at least the first two. The broken dreams part was the remnant of listening to Eighties radio this morning. Oh, Eighties music: it's all fun and games 'til Johnny Hates Jazz camps himself in your brain for the morning.

I'll post my own idiosyncratic thoughts about the Spain v Germany match tomorrow... until then you can read Jonathan Wilson's excellent and cohesive article about the match instead. He's spot on. Also, German coach Joachim Low was a total gentleman after the match with his comments. Not always the easiest thing to be.

Butt's Brain on a Monday...

• Czech pub footy is brutal [A Football Report]

• David Beckham escapes LA for Milan... in his own words [Dirty Tackle]

• Mediocre Voronin and mediocre Dossena leave Liverpool, but who will replace them at Anfield? [Football Corner]

• What leagues are the best in the world?

Someone from a soccer forum I frequent asked for my thoughts on whether a potential keeper should begin specializing (become "full time") at the U-9 level. There had been an ongoing discussion in a thread with parents falling on both sides of the fence. So here it goes .

The sight of Glasgow Celtic fans clapping Sunday in Seattle: should we continue to applaud the rash of money-spinning friendlies MLS clubs are increasingly addicted to it seems? (AP Photo).

This is the sort of column that results when the brain wanders during a mind-numbing international friendly on a weekend afternoon.

While the system and philosophy of soccer in the US as a whole must change, I'm telling you that if we had a coach with a soccer brain we would take a huge stride.

If someone like Marcelo Bielsa (I know he's off the table) took over ...

The Current National Team Pools Would be Decimated

Maybe 2 or 3 guys from the current NT would survive, and if given control over the youth NTs (ie his coaches/staff), the current pool of preferred players there wouldn't survive either.

A bit of what's going on in Butt's Brain today as we bring you news and links from around the footie web. Mark Schwarzer is set for his switch to Arsenal. The Fulham 'keeper reportedly failed a medical last week ... Continue reading →

I was thinking of giving ol' Kenwyne an intro but I cannot be bother to sugar coat this. He's shit, he's slow and generally a bit of a lumbering pillock. How Sunderland have managed to fleece Stoke £8 million for this "player" I have no idea...

I saw Kenwyne play against Man Yoo last year in the 2-2 draw and I was amazed at what I saw.

Yes, we're only a few games into the season, and despite thumping Braga and Blackpool at home, it hasn't being all that impressive. We're still suspect at the back, and tending to play a pass too many in front of goal. It makes one wonder have any lessons from last season been learnt?! Well, one player who has learnt buckets from last season is our whizzkid Jack Wilshere.

By Chris Wright

Chelsea left-back Ashley Cole has revealed that he flirted with the idea of leaving the club over the summer in the aftermath of his stupid divorce from his stupid wife, and was only persuaded to stay after manager Carlo Ancelotti had suitably fluffed his ego.

A bit of what's going on in Butt's Brain as West Ham dominated Manchester United in a 4-0 Carling Cup win yesterday, just days after United had beaten Blackburn 7-1. Amazing. West Ham's faith in Avram Grant is beginning to ... Continue reading →

Like the headline says, ouch. OUCH. This is actually painful to watch, though nowhere near as painful as it was for Christian Chivu, who came off much worse after a brutal clash of heads with Chievo forward Sergio Pellissier during a recent Serie A clash match:

The desription of the injury suffered by Chivu, found on Inter's official website (Spotter's badge: 101GreatGoals), is equally painful to read:

"The player [Cristian Chivu] sustained a trauma to the right side of the cranium and it provoked some fractures with the collapse of the structure and some blood, but the bruising was contained.

It's really quite amazing how a lot of people open their mouths without engaging the brain. I was just listening to the radio last night and heard fat Sam Allardyce talking ahead of their second leg match against Villa. Obviously fat Sam has an average set of cloggers playing for him at Blackburn and he wants to reduce expectations but he went a little far in his interview.

By Ollie Irish

A tearful America supporter sits outside Angeles Hospital, awaiting news of star player Salvador Cabanas, who was shot in the head in a Mexico City bar in the early hours of Monday morning.

Cabanas, who was a reported transfer target of Sunderland, is in a critical but stable condition after undergoing seven hours of emergency surgery.

"Growing up it all seems so one-sided/Opinions all provided/The future pre-decided/Detached and subdivided" -- Rush, "Subdivisons"Normally 1980s Canadian synth-prog rock and the English Premier League don't exactly roll off the tongue in the same sentence. A song about Toronto FC, maybe. Welcome to the twisted place that is my brain.

The man who will neutralize Cesc Fabregas today, Javier Mascherano
Butt's Brain this week from around the footie world wide web:

• Exceptional goals of the year so far [A Football Report]

• Very interesting theory - is Shay Given NOT a good goalkeeper? [Football Corner]

• Valencia defender Miguel mocks his coach from the bench [Off the Post]

• Wigan have a new midfield star, and he's only 4.

Theo Walcott isn't just being lambasted for not having a "footballing brain" he is being targeted by the "pink shoes" mafia.

Walcott's lonely vigil and footwear choice at the Camp Nou was not appreciated by a certain Mr Richard Keys of Sky Sports. Keys is a sort of legend when it comes to off camera gaffes.

Team USA's Charlie Davies, who was fatally injured in a car accident in Washington D.C. last October returned on Monday for full training with his French club Sochaux.

The United States will open up the World Cup with a much anticipated match on June 12th against England.

Davies wrote Monday on his Twitter feed that "it's about time & it feels great!

What Should Cesc do first: Get a haircut or move to Barcelona?
Butt's Brain - aggregating some interesting footie links from around the web for your consumption and pleasure:

• Brazil vs Argentina: The greatest rivalry [A Football Report]

• Three words to sum up Cesc Fabregas [Football Corner]

• Clint Dempsey's wife is a WAG.

FC Dallas went up in the 6th minute when David Ferreira scored on the road at Toyota Park. Brain McBride equalized for the Fire in the 40th. McBride was clearly offside on the replay, and the officiating crew later flagged down a Brek Shea attempt that appeared to be onside. Dallas finished with only one shot on goal from 2 taken.

Newcastle's Jonas Gutierrez is making news today because he forgot to pack his clothes, before leaving for the World Cup in South Africa. Jonas Gutierrez forgot to pack ordinary clothes It seems that Jonas must have football on the brain these days, because when he arrived in South Africa, and opened his suitcase he found out [.

By Chris Wright

Former Sampdoria and Brescia striker Francesco Flachi has been handed a twelve-year ban after testing positive for cocaine for the second time in three seasons.

Flachi, who first tested positive for the drug in 2007, again returned a positive sample following Brescia's Serie B clash with Modena in December of last year.

It's so wrong it may just be right.

If you need to be reminded of Poldi's hotness and erase his cringe-making grin from your brain please click here.

Visit our friends at Dirty Tackle to see some truly exceptional photos of German NT members Mesut Ozil and Sami Khedira being transformed into various African animals via body paint and fake teeth.

I have an officemate who's taking a stab at the following the world cup, and he's far enough along that today I found myself explaining France's approach: Possession Football.

I don't know how well the statistics bear this out, but it's what I see when I watch France play. They keep the ball and control matches.

Tim Howard, doing his best Bob Bradley face / impression
A bit of what's going on in Butt's Brain as we say "farewell" to the World Cup and "hello" to the Premier League:

• Cesc Fabregas is an Arsenal player and he is proud to be one [A Football Report]

• Former Arsenal stud Thierry Henry is set to join the NY Red Bulls [Miami Herald]

• Don't expect to follow Manchester United's new signing on Twitter [Off the Post]

• 2010 World Cup shooting statistics.

It's hard to convey to you how out-and-out giddy I was when I saw the Premier League schedule for this week and there wasn't a 7:45 a.m. match. Not that, on the East Coast at least, it's all that early or difficult to get up and lay on the couch and watch a soccer match.That said, I tend to work most Friday nights (yay!

So, Theo Walcott must be dropped from the England set-up immediately. He is the sole reason why England did not win the World Cup.

He can't pass or shoot and doesn't have a football brain.

It is Arsenal's fault for destroying a young talent who has clearly not lived up to his potential, he can't even control a long-range pass from Steven Gerrard.

Just a couple of thoughts at the half here. We're scoreless, down a man, and lucky to be on even terms:

- What the f*** was Segares thinking trying to land an overhand right on a corner-kick scrum? I admit the run was looking threatening, but it may be time to break out the old 'Gonzo' nickname if he's going to make brain-dead decisions like that.

I don't remember the last time I was so frustrated by an Arsenal performance. It was as bad as any relegation threatened side plays, perhaps worse. I don't claim to have a memory that covers every game in the Wenger era but this will certainly be amongst the worst his team have played.

As you must have gathered by now I'm not in a good mood and this post is part rant, part discussion, and part release of the steam in my head from a boiling brain.

Coming back from a long day's work on a weekend, the last thing you want to do is watch a team in red winning a game through a freak goal.

Nonetheless one of the prime reasons to watch any football over Glee is for that inceptional kick that shoots through your brain when you see a 5ft 11inch bearded steal 2 points by unleashing a thunder bolt a minute or so after extra time that makes you want to shriek / jump / do somersaults / rip your shirt open / hug a pillow / come up with corny headers / call a scouse.

Yes, that Byron Moreno; the man who earned infamy across the globe with some rather suspicious decisions during the Italy v South Korea World Cup Round of 16 game in 2002. Safe to say he's not exactly beloved in Italy, even if the next try went rather well.

Suspended a number of times for incompetence and now removed from the game, he's hit the headlines once again: for trying to smuggle 6 kilos of heroin into the US.

I'm on vacation this week, so no column Tuesday - I only wish I was headed to a location shoot for a Corona commercial though (Associated Press photo).

So, I won't be straying far and blogging will likely continue albeit at a reduced rate for the most part.

Just time to note this morning that CONCACAF has announced the World Cup qualifying schedule.

Image: Vogue.es.

Simple Q&A as a fun exercise for our enthusiastic, extroverted bunch of footy aficionados: which state of undress suits Casillas best?

A) Shirtless, because an Iker hip dip sighting of this caliber is rarer than seeing Halley's Comet

B) Sans bottoms, which helps speed up the front-door-to-bedroom-door timing and execution

C) Unsure, because the thought of Sara Carbonero's freshly-cut bangs sharing sink and mirror space with the aforementioned man once they move in together has sent my brain into a downward spiral and I'm unable to make an accurate judgment at this time.

Ring any bells?

There are several dozen infuriating things about yesterday, all of them still fizzing away in my brain. It might be cathartic for me to list them but it would tip you all so far over the edge that it would be cruel.

But the thing I find most worrying of all, worse than the defeat itself, which had to happen one day, is the continuing seam of mental frailty that runs through this team.