Welcome to your Champions League Final Bumper Post, brought to you by the squinting Fernando Torres and his post-flight mop. He brought just enough clothes for the post-match dinner in Munich, so it looks like that epic house rave and beer fountain party Jupp Heynckes has planned will only be attended by Mario Gomez (2 more goals, tipo, "zwei tore!

It was a disappointing day for Chelsea and Arsenal fans in the FA Cup fifth round. Chelsea were held at home by championship side Birmingham City while Arsenal's miserable week continued as they lost 2-0 at Sunderland.

A week after an added time Thierry Henry goal have Arsenal a 2-1 win over Sunderland at the Stadium of Light, Martin O'Neil's team gained their revenge to cap off a horrible four days for Arsenal who were ripped apart at the San Siro in midweek.

It was a disappointing day for Chelsea and Arsenal fans in the FA Cup fifth round. Chelsea were held at home by championship side Birmingham City while Arsenal's miserable week continued as they lost 2-0 at Sunderland.

A week after an added time Thierry Henry goal have Arsenal a 2-1 win over Sunderland at the Stadium of Light, Martin O'Neil's team gained their revenge to cap off a horrible four days for Arsenal who were ripped apart at the San Siro in midweek.

We took in the United States Women's National Team international friendly against New Zealand in Frisco, Texas this past weekend. A pair of Alex Morgan late goals spared the Lady Nats blushes, but as always, when American soccer is on tap there's no question it was a good time.
We were joined at the tailgate by member several area chapters of the American Outlaws (Dallas-Forth Worth, Oklahoma City, Houston, Austin, and San Antonio)the San Antonio soccer supporters group, the Crocketteers (a NASL, the Scorpions starts play this season), and members of several FC Dallas supporters groups.

This must be what football journos mean when they say a team 'jubilates' after winning. Image Credit: AP Photo/Andres Kudacki.

Missed any important action this weekend? Well, firstly you should be ashamed of yourselves, as we slaved over a hot Weekend Preview post so that wouldn't happen.

Second, why don't you just pop to the off-licence, purchase a bottle of their finest champers and Fed-Ex it to Kickette HQ by way of apology?

Check out all the news (and the Manchester jokes), right after the jump.

It has been, in many ways, both an eventful and uneventful week for the Arsenal. A disappointing performance in Greece was mitigated by the fact that the match was meaningless. And there has been a noticeable lack of the omniscient transfer rumors this week.

The final lineup for next summer's European Championship in Poland & Ukraine is now set after tonight's playoff second legs, with a strong field of sixteen heading for Eastern Europe.
There were no winning fightbacks following the first legs and Portugal, the Czech Republic, the Republic of Ireland and Croatia all advanced to Euro 2012, eliminating respectively Bosnia & Herzogovina, Montenegro, Estonia and Turkey.

Well, well, what do we have here... Alberto Aquilani finally over the moon for Kevin-Prince Boateng, of course! The only name the Rossoneri should be chanting at breakfast, lunch and dinner today is 'Boateng' because his second-half hat-trick yesterday led them to 4-3 win over Lecce yesterday.

By Chris Wright

In which Celtic right-back Cha Du-Ri slots an effortless finish past Celtic 'keeper Fraser Forster from the edge of the Celtic box to hand Rennes the lead against Celtic...

It may just be my tired eyes playing tricks on me, but would anyone else be willing to have a shiny ha'penny on Forster being able to catch the trundling ball up if he tried running after it?

Note: There is a print link embedded within this post, please visit this post to print it. | Subscribe: Weekly Football Phrase

Each week the languagecaster team will explain a football phrase or cliche for learners of English who love the sport. Click on the link below to hear the word or phrase, while you can also read the transcript below that.

Most of the premier league sides acquired positive results in their Carling Cup campaign on Tuesday night, but a colorful results emerged from the top names playing on the day as Manchester United, Arsenal and Newcastle all picked up a victory, while the opposite happened to Tottenham Hotspurs.

The Capital doesn't have an A-League team, the FFA don't want the Capital, it can't be maintained with the Brumbies and Raiders and now GWS in the city.
You've heard it all before.
But when you step back from the emotion it's Canberra's intelligence that can and needs to get it over the line.

Most of the premier league sides acquired positive results in their Carling Cup campaign on Tuesday night, but a colorful results emerged from the top names playing on the day as Manchester United, Arsenal and Newcastle all picked up a victory, while the opposite happened to Tottenham Hotspurs.

Arsenal arrested their worrying run of form with a narrow 1-0 win over Premier League new-boys Swansea at the Emirates.

Andrei Arshavin scored an opportunist's goal five minutes before the break after a mistake from Swans keeper Michel Vorm, but they failed to kill off Swansea, who rallied late on as some desperate defending and a howling miss from Danny Graham saw the hosts close out the victory.

England 1-0 Wales: Earnshaw blunder spares blushes

Young winner papers over the cracks as Bale tests off-colour Three Lions

View the full story here: The Mirror

A news article on 2011-09-06 20:43:24 from: The Mirror

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Messrs Ryan Taylor and Ameobi Junior spared United's blushes at Glanford Park, as Newcastle battled back from a goal down at half-time to put their name in the hat this Saturday for the League Cup 3rd round draw. As I found my way to the turnstiles, and to get me in the mood for the [...]

Ashley Young spares United the blushes with a late goal against West Brom.

By JOHN BOSCHINI

Don't look now, but the Atlanta Silverbacks are starting to string together some results.

Atlanta and fellow bottom-dweller Montreal Impact battled to a 2-2 draw in Canada on Sunday. It was the first time in 2011 the Atlanta Silverbacks were able to stay unbeaten over two games.

Copa America 2011, Cordoba
Brazil 2:2 Paraguay
1-0 Jadson 38', 1-1 Santa Cruz 54', 1-2 Valdez 66', 2-2 Fred 89'.
Group B could be becoming the group of death in this year's Copa America after a third consecutive draw.
Jadson, the Shakhtar Donetsk midfielder, gave Brazil a first-half lead with a long-range effort but a shock was soon on the cards after the break as Roque Santa Cruz equalised for Paraguay and then Nelson Haedo Valdez gave La Albirroja the lead in the 66th minute.

Argentina 1:1 Bolivia
Colombia 1:0 Costa Rica
Colombia are the early leaders of Group A after labouring to a 1-0 win over Costa Rica in Jujuy.
The host nation, boasting an all-star lineup including Lionel Messi and Carlos Tevez, had opening night nerves in La Plata, allowing Bolivia to steal a lead two minutes after half time through Edivaldo Rojas.

By Chris Wright

Despite being thumped 6-1 last time they played Bolivia in 2009 (chiefly due to the fact there is next-to-no oxygen in sky-high La Paz), Argentina were overwhelming favourites to sweep La Verde aside in their Copa America opener last night though it didn't go exactly to plan on home soil.

Guadeloupe vs USA 2011 Score:- Guadeloupe 0-1 USA ( Jozy Altidore 9′) ( Full time) 6/14/2011- June 14 2011- Livestrong Sporting Park, Kansas City, Kansas Gold Cup 2011- Group C Jozy Altidore spares the USA the blushes as his early goal allows them to qualify for the quarterfinals of Gold Cup 2011. USA starting lineup [.

Down a dark, shady road I did wearily trudge

Daisies and sunflowers wilted under my touch

I walked a sad walk and hummed a sad tune

It seemed like unchecked night more than cloudy afternoon

-

It was with moist, red eyes and droopy, furrowed brow

That I navigated past people and the odd straggling cow

I had seen my nerves abused and my hairline recede

But to my sincere request The Lord did not accede

-

I buried face in hands as it began to mildly rain

The hopeless clowns had gone and done it again

-

Arsenal now seem to follow a set season template

Sunny August-iffy February-April irate

Veteran suicide artists in this London team reside

Who revel in sorrowfully falling by the wayside

-

This season's commencement saw me baring the pearly whites

Due to Theo Walcott hat-tricks and other surprising sights

November saw the fingernails chewed to naught

Losing to Newcastle and Braga- what absolute rot

-

Things started looking up at the turn of the New Year

When Nasri and co.

Harry Rednapp's faltering Spurs side dropped more points again this evening, at home to Blackpool.
Charlie Adam put the Tangerines in front with a successful penalty kick, having had one saved minutes earlier by Gomez.
Blackpool were looking good for all 3 points until a great strike by Jermaine Defoe on 89mins saved Harry's and Tottenham's blushes.

Despite spending most of the second half with more players on the pitch, the Revolution were unable to take home three points from their first encounter with the Vancouver Whitecaps on Wednesday night. Referee Baldomero Toledo stole the show by issuing three red cards and a controversial penalty in a match characterized by erratic passing and poor officiating.

To begin this post, as I hope to begin most posts, we'll take a look at five of the bigger calcio-related news stories of the day before delving into a relevant topic. Covered today: Cosmi's new formation for Palermo, Roma's rigore madness, and Juventus just may be trying too hard.

5 Headlines from the Peninsula:

• Serse Cosmi has announced that Palermo's formation will be changing.

I am very grateful for ESPN3. With great consistency i can follow Roma. But this year has been brutally cruel in its teasing nature of gaining big leads only to loose them. Parma repeated the act today down 2-0. Amuari's brilliant back heal flick made it 2-1.He followed that up flicking home a Hernan Crespo created rebound to tie the game at 2-2.

As the final whistle blew to signal the end of a thrilling match between Fulham and Chelsea, the Premier League had just welcomed its newest star, David Luiz.

The impressive Brazilian on just his first start for Chelsea was, in all sense of the word, everywhere. Partnering John Terry in the centre of defence he started showing signs of typical Brazilian elegance, composure and confidence that belied his lack of Premiership experience.

Hey, at least this kid looks like a bargain, right? Right?

Bob.

More disappointment at Craven Cottage as Chelsea fail to breakdown a resolute Fulham side in somewhat drab 0-0 fare on Valentine's Day evening. Well, drab up until added time.

That's when Petr Cech saved our collective blushes, denying Clint Dempsey from the spot after Mike Dean more inept than our play on this day awarded the hosts an ultra-late penalty for the slightest of nicks on Deuce from David Luiz.

Germany vs Italy 9th February 2011- Signal Iduna Park, Dortmund Final score:- Germany vs Italy 1-1 ( Miroslav Klose, Giuseppe Rossi) Giuseppe Rossi's late strike saves Italy the blushes as they draw 1-1 with Germany in an international friendly in Dortmund. Germany vs Italy 1-0 ( Miroslav Klose goal 17′) Germany vs Italy 1-1 ( [.

Another volunteer for the Kickette nudey calender? Step this way please, Mr Eto'0. And please remove your shorts. Getty Images/Zimbio)

In the spirit of inconsistency that we like to think has become our byword of late, we chose to ignore the Coupe de France results last week in favour of an early lunch and cocktails.

The much-maligned other Ivorian spares Chelsea blushes by earning us an undeserved draw at Goodison. As if this threadbare squad needs an added fixture with which to deal. Bummy.

You got beef?

I do have beef, Carlo. With that shit I had to watch yesterday.

LONDON, England Holders Chelsea needed a late equalizer by Salomon Kalou to snatch a 1-1 draw that kept it in the FA Cup after a Louis Saha header had put Everton on course for a fourth-round upset at Goodison Park. In another of the weekend's five all-Premier League ties Aston Villa beat Blackburn Rovers [.

MUNICH, Germany — Bayern Munich had to come from behind on Saturday to win 3-1 at Werder Bremen, while Bundesliga leaders Borussia Dortmund kept up their domination with a 3-0 win at Wolfsburg. Bremen's Per Mertesacker went from joy to despair as his opening goal just after the break was cancelled out by an Arjen [.